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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

Category: Healthy Mental Habits

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14 WAYS TO FIX YOUR BAD MOOD

worry less now gigi langerGOT A  (*?!@&)  ATTITUDE?      At this time of shorter days, low-pressure fronts, and colder temps, it’s  all too easy to get caught up in negativity. Even though I just wrote a book about worrying less, it doesn’t mean I’m never in a bad mood. It just means I have effective tools to change it.

Here I share a few of my favorite ones.

Recently I’ve been upset by some not-so-gently-delivered criticism, a loved-one’s illness, and a bad reaction to some medicine. When such things appear to “go wrong,” my ego claims, “This shouldn’t be happening!! Let’s figure out how to change it!” Then the overthinking begins — and peace is lost. It might take a while to admit that I’m focusing only on what I don’t like. But eventually, I realize that I need to do something to restore my peace of mind.

In this case, I did a guided meditation, made a gratitude list, and took a short walk. My bad mood vanished! Here are more of my favorite ways to turn around a negative attitude.

14 Ways to Fix a Bad Mood

1. Check to be sure you’ve eaten well and rested well. If you haven’t, take better care of yourself. Avoid over-work, over eating, over-drinking, and drugs.

2. List five things you’re grateful for.  Do this every day without repeating any item.

3. Meditate and/or pray. Use the free app, Insight Timer or other tools. Do this every day for at least ten minutes.

4. Exercise, walk, or do yoga. These activities are proven to increase positive brain chemicals and feelings.

5. Do something nice for someone. Smile at a stranger, compliment a server, or send a friend a loving note.

6. Listen to uplifting music or podcasts/radio; read inspiring books or blogs; or watch a positive movie (I loved “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” about Mr Rogers).

7. Talk with a healthy, supportive friend who has a positive attitude toward the world.

8. Give yourself permission to turn off negative TV or radio broadcasts. Also avoid extended time with negative people.

9. Avoid gossip and look for the strengths, rather than the faults, in the people around you.

10. Stop using the words “should” and “ought.” Cultivate the habit of humility—admit that you don’t know everything and just let some mysteries be.

11. Imagine that someone you love is feeling the way you are. Then say to yourself what you would say to comfort that person. (Self compassion: See Kristin Neff).

12. Know that your thoughts and feelings do not define who you are; that you have a choice about what fills your mind. Slowly breathe in goodness and breathe out negativity. Keep doing this until your body and mind calm down.

13. Write down your thoughts and feelings and see which ones are really true. Are they permanent? Is there another way to look at the things that bother you? Circle the ones you know are untrue and turn them around (to learn how, see “The Work” by Byron Katie)

14. When in a conflict, WAIT a day or two before acting. Use the techniques here to calm down and find peace. Do not try to change minds or resolve conflicts through any electronic means. Face-to-face communication is best for relationships you value (yes, it takes courage to listen and share).

I’m so grateful that, once I decide to fix my bad mood, I have the tools to do so. And they work!  Ahhhh . . . I feel such peace!

worry less nowGigi Langer is the former “Queen of Worry” who  holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, and lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

For specific tools to overcome negativity and worry, check out my award-winning book “50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.” 

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STOP An Anxiety Attack

Anger Worry Less Now

I recently had an upsetting encounter with a friend when I kept trying to set a boundary that was repeatedly ignored, and then it escalated into a shouting match. Afterward, my body was shaking with anger and anxiety; I was in full-out fight-or-flight mode.

Choosing Self-Care

Although I was tempted to keep the drama going by replaying the incident and defending myself with thoughts of how I had been right, or what I “should” have said or done, I did something different.

I decided to calm myself down and enjoy the rest of the day. So, I went into a bathroom, closed the door, said a prayer, and did some energy tapping with soothing self-talk. Then I used the following technique to dissolve the adrenaline flooding my system. The whole process took about ten minutes, and afterward, I had a wonderful day.

The 5,4,3,2,1 Technique to Manage Anxiety

  • Take a few slow belly-inflating breathes and remind yourself that your body has just felt threatened and is reacting normally.
  • Name 5 things you can see around you (Examples: rug, painting)
  • Name 4 things you can feel (feet on the floor, cool air on the skin)
  • Name 3 things you can hear right now (a fan running, people’s voices outside)
  • Name 2 things you can smell right now (perfumed soap)
  • Name 1 good thing about yourself (“I am strong,” “I can help myself through this.”)

If you simply can’t focus, or if your body and mind haven’t yet settled down, take a few more belly-inflating breaths, and tell yourself that you can calm down. Then do the exercise again. It may take several minutes of repetition before the adrenaline dissipates.

According to independent.co.uk, “the trick, which relies on sensory awareness, is rooted in mindfulness – and apart from anxiety, it can help treat depression, addiction disorders, lower blood pressure, and relieve stress (Harvard University Helpguide.org).”

Whenever you suffer from incessant thinking, worry, tension, anger, or fear, this practice will return you to a more relaxed state. It sure worked for me!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

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Want to Improve Your Life? TRY MEDITATION!

meditate on beach
Like me, do you struggle to meditate?

Even though I know the impressive research on the benefits of meditation (it actually shrinks the part of the brain involved with stress!), it’s SO hard to do first thing in the morning.

Right out of bed, I so enjoy my cup of coffee with Peter, chatting, and watching our cat, Murphy’s, antics. And then, about half the time, I’m off and running–and there goes the meditation right out the door!

I need “training wheels” when trying to establish new routines, so I love it when Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey offer their 21-day meditation series. It’s free and every 4-6 months it’s a different theme, so I learn new stuff.

For example, the one I just listened to was about the role of attention in attracting our desires into our lives. Deepak was his usual clear self as he explained, “What we pay attention to will grow!”

The power source for manifesting our dreams, desires, and intentions is attention.
When attention is focused from the level of true self, our desires easily reach fulfillment.   
Desires that arise from a worried, confused, or agitated mind struggle to be fulfilled.
When we meditate, the intentions arise naturally from the silence, and the energy of attraction automatically obeys what the mind desires.
So, there’s another reason to meditate!! Tapping into my quiet, wise self always yields insights, valuable nudges for action, and great ideas for writing. In fact, I found I couldn’t write my book “Worry Less Now” without it.
If you too need some “training wheels” to learn to meditate, download the app, Insight Timer, or check out some of Kelly Hine’s fabulous guided meditations.
Finally, here’s a little something to make you laugh.
       ??   HOW NOT TO MEDITATE (Susan Morales)
Wear your tightest jeans; not the stretchy kind; the ones that pinch at the waist so your midriff folds over and it’s hard to breathe.
Recall a recent conversation where you felt misunderstood, and analyze what you should have said. Visualize what you’ll do next chance you get.
Find something on your body or clothing to help you fidget, like cleaning your fingernails, picking the pile off your sweater, or winding hair around your finger.
Don’t set an intention or an alarm, look at the clock every time you think of it.
Focus outside yourself, inhale short and shallow. 
Tell yourself you can’t meditate.
PS: I better stop writing this and go do my daily meditation–I didn’t get to it this morning!

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

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Cultivate Detachment for Peace of Mind

detach peace of mindTo Gain Peace of Mind, Detach!
I often hear a negative tone on my TV screen and news sites. So many of the experts–regardless of their point of view–sound sarcastic, judgmental, and  convinced they are absolutely 100% right.

Sadly,  what we see in the media too often presses the fear button in our psyches. If spiritual principles hold true,  this is dangerous business.

Hatred and condemnation multiply fear and draw us away from peace of mind (love).

I’m not suggesting that we bury our heads in the sand.  I read a variety of news articles so I can be informed. I also write to my local and national representatives and, of course I vote.  But I refrain from judging and worrying.

It’s all too easy to let the daily onslaught of news convince us that we are at the mercy of the world’s conflicts. The truth is, our essence is spiritual, untouched by today’s fear-filled scenarios.

That’s why I am so drawn to this phrase: “The best attitude to cultivate is gentle indifference.” (July 30th reading in Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course by Karen Casey).

Another word for “gentle indifference” might be “detachment”—a standing apart without getting caught up in the drama; but still acting from a place of peace and integrity.

Here’s how I try to detach and gain peace of mind, so I can contribute to our society’s future in the best way possible:

  • The minute I hear troubling news, I pray for those involved, that they  may be guided to the best solutions for all.
  • When I’m tempted to respond negatively, I take a few deep breaths and affirm that all is in perfect order, even if my limited perceptions can’t see it.
  • I trust that by seeking peace of mind first, I will be guided to the right thoughts, words, and actions.
  • I accept that my goal is to be a channel of love, not fear.
  • As a “Highly Sensitive Person,” I limit my exposure to inflammatory news sources.

How do you remain centered and positively productive during turbulent times?    Please share in the Comments section below. 

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.