Recently, someone asked me to name 7 negative things we do everyday that block happiness, with suggestions for what to do instead.
That’s a “Pretty Good Question!” I thought. “I’ll give it a try!” Here’s my list of seven.
What would you add? Write your ideas in the “Comments” section at the end.
7 THINGS THAT BLOCK HAPPINESS AND HOW TO CHANGE THEM
1 Saying ”I can’t . . ” Change it to “Up until now I couldn’t . . ”
2 Saying “I always . . ” Change it to “In the past I’ve . . “ or “I used to . . ”
3 Reading email and texts first thing in the morning. Instead, meditate, read inspiring words, journal, or pray, (like Kermit & I do!)
4 Criticizing or Gossiping. Instead, look for what’s strong, positive, and good about a person or situation. Avoid complainers.
5 Saying, “You should . .” or “He should (or ought to) . . ” Instead, admit that you may not know best and, even if you did, it’s not your job to change others.
6 Drinking or drugging in a way that’s harming your relationships, health, or safety. Instead, get into a recovery program or therapy.
7 Thinking about what you’ll say next while “listening” to another. Then responding with your own story or advice. Instead, listen with all of your mind & heart. Try to understand what the person is saying by asking for clarification, e.g., “You mentioned (…). Tell me more about that. What was that like for you?” Listen to the answer and then probe for more detail. Talk less. Listen more. Ask more questions.
OKAY, IT’S YOUR TURN. In the Comments section below, list the bad habit that blocks your own happiness. Be sure to add the “instead” behavior. We really need your suggestions!
I can’t wait to see what you post!!
Gigi Langer holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education, both from Stanford.
She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection (February, 2018), available in e-book formats and in print from Amazon.
“Langer’s frank and empathetic tone will comfort readers, as will the practical steps she teaches.” (Featured Book, BookLife by Publishers Weekly)
“Her honesty will blow you away! It is beautifully written; filled with humor and authenticity.” (Member of Al Anon)]
I am depressed = now but I know it will pass.