peace of mind Archives - Page 6 of 10

October 10, 2020October 10, 2020

ARE YOU A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON?

For years, people told me I was too “thin-skinned” or “high–maintenance.” When I looked around at others, they didn’t seem to take things so personally, or to be bothered by loud noises and bright lights. What was wrong with me? About ten years ago I discovered the answer: I’m a “highly sensitive person” and I’m NOT alone. Indeed, about 20% of the population shares this trait.

What Are Highly Sensitive People Like?

Dr. Eileen Aron’s 25 years of research indicates that highly sensitive people:

are quite sensitive to external stimuli,
prefer quiet, less chaotic surroundings,
worry excessively,
are easily overwhelmed,
reflect on things more than others, and
feel things very deeply.

You’ll be happy to hear that these characteristics are quite respected in many societies where the sensitive ones become advisors and sages.

But, in our Western culture, being highly sensitive isn’t always understood or valued. That’s why some of us so often feel on the outside looking in.

So, if you think you might be a highly sensitive person or have a loved one that is, take the quiz on Aron’s website and check out her blog, “Comfort Zone.”

The healthiest path for us sensitive folks is to value who we are and take good care of ourselves.

Self-Care for Highly Sensitive People

If you can relate, here are a few suggestions for self-care.

Reduce your exposure to loud, dramatic input: news programs, social media, argumentative friends/family, etc.
Schedule downtime to rest, meditate, read, and renew after a busy day or after lots of social activity.
Sleep enough, eat well and limit caffeine intake.
Treat yourself to the enjoyment of beauty: take a walk, savor a sunset, etc.
Hang out with loving people who like you exactly the way you are.
Avoid bright lights and loud background noise (if they bother you).
Remind yourself that your sensitivity makes you creative, empathetic, and loving.

If, like me, you are highly sensitive, please share a few of your insights here. Thanks!

In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

June 19, 2020June 19, 2020

Cross Out The “I” of Ego’s Self-Will

I recently heard this spiritual message: We need to cast into the “sea of forgetfulness” the ego’s creations of self loathing, hatred, and missteps—because none of these represents the goodness of our true nature.

The Sea of Forgetfulness

It’s similar to A Course in Miracles: Nothing is real except love, the perfect truth of God’s creation. When we cast into the sea of forgetfulness our ego’s self-centered fear, dishonesty, worry, and judging of others, we’ve claimed the miracle of Love.

For those of us recovering from addictions, these figments of self-will (especially resentments) threaten the fine balance of our spiritual fitness and, thus, our sobriety.

Unfortunately, when we let self-centered fear drive our decisions, we’ve elevated our ego, the almighty “I,” to the role of God–a sure recipe for disaster.

Crossing Out The “I” of Ego

Pondering the ego’s fixation on “me, myself, and I” reminds me of these words from a priest in Rumer Godden’s lovely book, In This House of Brede,

“The cross is ‘I’ crossed out.”

In this phrase, the cross-bar of God’s loving power “crosses out” the upright post of the “I” —all that is not love. As a result, we become generous and true to our highest self.

Do you want to live from this true source of love? Then work on rejecting the demands of the “I” for more security, more prestige, and more power. Instead, try molding your thoughts and dreams to the eternal truth of God’s will: goodness for all.

Pray, study spiritual teachings, meditate, help others—in short, become less focused on the “I” of your own self-seeking ego. You won’t believe the transformation in your life, creativity, and relationships,

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

March 28, 2020March 28, 2020

LET’S BE AT PEACE . . . Come What May

Hello from southwest Florida. I hope you and your loved ones are safe and healthy. Our golf community just had its first case of the virus, so we’re in quarantine, just like so many of you.

As we listen to government warnings, gossip, and TV experts, it’s all too easy to lose sight of hope and tolerance–just when we need them most. So, when we find ourselves captivated by fear, let’s seek peace of mind instead.

Today, I offer you these words of love and peace, plus two powerful tools to help us face this challenge together.

Gratitude Brings Peace of Mind

I thank God (literally) for our food, water, and electricity. Not to mention my fun, steady husband of 30 years (need I remind you, he’s my 4th?). And let’s not forget our very social and entertaining cat, Murphy.

But, most of all, I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect my heart with yours across space and time. More than ever, I’ve been joining with loved ones through prayer, positive thoughts, social media, and internet-based gatherings. (A friend just texted me, “I wish I had bought stock in Zoom!”). These connections are, most definitely, my life-line (remember, I’m the former “Queen of Worry!”).

If you’re feeling uncertain, take a moment to make your own gratitude list— truly a mental/emotional game-changer (and, I often do need to change the “game” in my head!)

Two Truths: Take ‘Em to The Bank!

During challenging times, I believe (right down to my toes) two things:

We are all connected in spirit, and by joining together, our loving power can get us through anything.
My job is to replace my fear and panic with peace of mind, so I can reach out to others with love, encouragement, and care.

Tool 19 from my book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, will help you find your own center of peace, wisdom, and courage.

Loving-Kindness Practice

This Buddhist practice (also called metta) calms your mind, opens your heart to goodness, activates the power of your true self, and dissolves whatever may be blocking your love for others.

First, say the affirmation for yourself:

May I be at peace. May my heart remain open.
May I awaken to the light of my own true nature.
May I be healed. May I be a source of healing for all beings.

Now, say it for your loved ones and the entire world: May we be at peace. May our hearts remain open; May we awaken to the light of our own true nature. May we be healed. May we be a source of healing for all beings.

Finally, and this may be the most important of all, say it for someone you worry about or dislike: May you (name) be at peace; May your heart remain open. May you awaken to the light of your own true nature. May you be healed. May you be a source of healing to all beings.

I have memorized this Loving Kindness affirmation and say it often. Give it a try. It really works!

Blocks to Love: Judging, Resenting, Condemning

Why is the last version of this prayer so important? Simply put, hatred and judgement block our ability to give and receive love. Seeing people with forgiveness rather than condemnation is the most healing choice we can make–for the whole world.

“Dear God, please help me to see this differently.”

Join me in asking our higher power to help us see all others with love rather than criticism, and to fully open our hearts to one another. This is, after all, God’s will for us.

Gigi Langer, 34 years sober, holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology from Stanford University. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, Gigi has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. A former professor of teacher education at Eastern Michigan University, she lives in Michigan and Florida with her husband, Peter, and Murphy, her cat.

Get Gigi’s new book, “50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection” (5 Stars on Amazon). Available in audio, e-book, and paperback Click HERE for special offers.

“This book is a winner.” –Karen Casey, Bestselling Hazelden author
“Valuable, heartfelt manual.” — Publishers Weekly (BookLife)

February 18, 2020February 18, 2020

AM I A VICTIM OF A MEANINGLESS WORLD?

How do we explain a child’s death, the horror of abuse, or raging wars? Why can’t God stop them? Are we merely a victim of a punishing world? I think not.

As the saying goes, “We see through the glass darkly.” Our human intellect just can’t fully understand the “why” of things; in fact, some believe that “Why?” is not a very spiritual question. [Read my blog about that here]

Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake

Let’s entertain an intriguing possibility: What if we came to earth to experience specific events perfectly tailored for our spiritual growth? If we choose to learn from these challenges, we grow from victim-hood to courage, from fear to love, from isolation to connection, and from self-condemnation to self-love.

In short, we discover the strength of our divine nature.

You’re NOT a Victim! Everything is in perfect order

There’s a perfect order to the eventsin our lives that often isn’t clear until time reveals its elegant solutions.What initially seemed to be my worst disasters yielded some of my greatest blessings; but these gifts appeared in their own time.

Alcoholism brought me spiritual healing, loving friends, and a happy marriage. Without my old victim mentality, I can now give love and care to others.
Many years of shoulder and back pain taught me that my security does not lie in my body’s comfort. I learned to trust my higher power and accept comfort from others.
My husband’s resumption of drinking (after 25 years sober) caused me to find Radical Forgiveness, which released my victim mentality, helped me forgive my alcoholic father, and healed our marriage.

When life’s challenges scare you, remember it’s a chance to heal old beliefs that no longer serve you.

Even though you can’t change the external circumstances, you CAN face the situation, own your reactions, and choose to see it not as a victim, but as a being of peace, wisdom, and power.

At the end of each hardship, you’ll find an exhilarating sense of freedom!

Gigi Langer, PhD. Many years ago, I used alcohol, romance, and overwork to soothe my frayed nerves. Over time, I discovered effective tools from therapy, recovery programs, scientific research, energy work, and a variety of philosophical and spiritual teachings to overcome my worries. I share those techniques in my blog and book to help you find peace of mind and wisdom, no matter what is bothering you.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how I and others have defeated the faulty thinking leading to dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, addiction, and worry about loved ones. Honest, practical, and powerful. Amazon: 4.8 stars (55 reviews) (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Tag: peace of mind