It’s pretty easy to get disturbed by what appears to be “the world falling apart.” We can become obsessed by fear and judgment, especially if we often tune into our favorite cable news shows.
Here’s some really GOOD ADVICE from Richard Rohr, an American spiritual writer and Franciscanfriar based in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
“If you will allow, I recommend for your spiritual practice for the next four months that you impose a moratorium on exactly how much news you are subject to—hopefully not more than an hour a day of television, social media, internet news, magazine and newspaper commentary, and/or political discussions.
“It will only tear you apart and pull you into the dualistic world of opinion and counter-opinion, not Divine Truth, which is always found in a bigger place.
“Instead, I suggest that you use this time for some form of public service, volunteerism, mystical reading from the masters, prayer—or, preferably, all of the above.
“You have much to gain now and nothing to lose. Nothing at all. And the world—with you as a stable center—has nothing to lose. And everything to gain.”
When I follow Rohr’s advice, I’m far more peaceful and loving toward others because I’m not riled up by events I can’t control. Give it a try and let me know how it works!
Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in SW Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.
In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating: 4.8 stars. Order it for $10.75 per copy , free USA shipping & workbook HERE. Offer ends Jan 1., 2021
Looking for inspiration and release from worry in these challenging times? Feeling a conflict between your human instincts and your divine spirit? I offer you two beautiful passages that clarify the temporary nature of struggle, and our higher power’s healing presence through it all–even during Covid!
MY VERY FAVORITE WORDS: “Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are forever a child of a loving God who punishes you not.”
“We are merely rendering the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together.”
The Human Experience, Part 1
Many years ago, my friend Mo recorded several passages from A Course in Miracles (ACiM); the last one was called “The Human Experience,” but it did not come from ACiM. Do you know where it’s from?? I posted the first half of it here: A Mystery Quote: “Songs of Plenty and Songs of Want.” Here’s the second half, a true message of hope and trust. I love it so!
The Human Experience, Part 2
“Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are forever a child of a loving God who punishes you not.
“You’ve elected to learn these lessons so that you can be free. You can’t be free until you have faced, and then walked through, your worst fear. What your worst fear is changes from time to time.
Walking through your worst fear transforms it into an old meaningless fear. Then a new worst fear will come to take its place. Call the fear poverty, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, death, meaninglessness, or helplessness. Walk through them you will, until they are all gone.
“What you forget is that you don’t have to walk through them alone. I am here and will walk through them with you. Trust me, my child. Ask not that any specific burden be lifted. Ask instead for my presence to walk through with you. We are simply rendering the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together.
“The human experience provides all these lessons to all who walk through them. You walk through them with pain and sorrow if you choose to do it alone. Or you walk through them with peace and joy if you take me along.
The whole point of the lessons is to realize that they are dreams. You only see that when you can see from the place beyond the dreams, after you have awakened. Then you sleep again, and another dream will come to take its place, and we will walk through it. And you will awaken again to see the harmlessness of the dream.
“Ask me to guide you. Ask me not to solve what you perceive as your problems. What you perceive as problems are dreams and dreams are not real.
“Practice fearlessness, my child. Turn over all your fears to me. My way will lead you to discover the light which is already within you.
“There is nothing my love for you will not conquer. We have already traveled this path together, and we are at the end. Try to remember, my child, the song of rejoicing we heard when we arrived safely back in the arms of the Father.
“Your mind has wandered from the truth of that memory. You daydream again. The thoughts of the mind are undisciplined but the mind is at home in the heart of God. Only the thoughts drift away for a moment.
“Call to me dear soul. When you call from the part of your heart that knows we are together still, I will be there and you will be here in an instant.
“Peace and joy to you, dear one. Only joy and peace are eternal. All else is illusion. You have been to joy and peace and you do know the truth. Ask me to remember, and I will. Peace. Peace. Peace.”
Connect with God’s Love and Love One Another
Isn’t that beautiful? We need not fear because comfort and courage walk with us through every experience–even those that scare our pants off! Perhaps we’re here for this very reason: to render “the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together.” Let this be the message of this holiday season.
Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in SW Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.
In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating: 4.8 stars. Buy signed copy HERE
I just heard this at a 12-Step meeting and I love it! Many of us have a “fake ID” that we’ve constructed over our lifetime, and often it’s based on a sense of victimhood, fear, selfishness, and resentment. Sadly, these patterns block our true selves.
Cloaking ourselves in our “invented” identity gives us the illusion of security; but pretending to be what others want us to be can never bring us peace or happiness.
If we want to wake up and function as a happy, loving force in the world, we’ll have to drop the activities that cut us off from our best selves. In my case, the divorces, drinking, and drugs had completely covered up my true self with shame and self-loathing. I had no idea that a “Good Gigi” was inside me.
Building Our Fake ID
Why did I try so hard to create this fake ID? For those of us who grew up in troubled homes, it was a much-needed survival strategy. To give myself a sense of security, I watched people who seemed happy and successful, and then I imitated them.
The irony is that this “invented self” does not bring long-term security or contentment. In fact, it plays havoc with most relationships, practically guaranteeing their failure. When you believe the only reason you are liked is because of who you are pretending to be, you fall prey to the whispered lie, “If they knew who I really am, they’d take one look and run in the opposite direction!”
Even more damaging, your fake ID keeps you from knowing who you really are; therefore, you can’t share with another what you truly feel or need. Without emotional honesty, your relationships founder on the shoals of boredom, frustration, or dysfunction.
Finally, it’s your fake self that spews fear, self-deception, and resentment into your mind. The chaos can seem so loud and confusing that it’s almost impossible to hear anything else. If you’re lucky, you’ll wonder, “There must be another way to live!”
Discovering Your True ID
First, please know that deep inside you is a being of light and goodness. I’m sure you’ve felt glimmers of it, for example, when you’re in the flow of creative activity, or gazing at a peaceful scene in nature. As you learn to relinquish your fake ID into the hands of this higher self, your joy will follow.
When I got clean and sober, the women I met in 12-step meetings could see the light of goodness in me and responded to that, rather than to my emotional pain. Through my sponsor, therapy, spiritual practices, energy work, and cognitive reprogramming, I eventually discovered my true self, and today I live from that place most of the time–but not always!
In my opinion, one of the best ways reject your fake ID and connect with your true self is to notice your disturbing thoughts, and then redirect them to a state of quiet. There you will connect with your own personal source of peace, clarity, and loving connection. I use guided meditations to learn how to put my thinking into the background so I can “hear” my higher mind.
Often such insights appear as little intuitive nudges, sometimes when I’m not even meditating. In a mysterious, magical way, stilling our minds creates a space for wisdom to enter our lives. It’s a fun, secure, and fascinating journey!
The Gift That Keeps Giving: Your True Self
My true self has brought me a happy 31-year marriage to Peter (my fourth husband!), a successful career, and the tools to live through multiple crises of life here on earth: substance abuse, codependency, worry about alcoholics, death of loved ones, chronic pain, and workaholism, among others.
My true self also led me to write 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, a feat I never anticipated! But my inner voice kept tapping me on the shoulder saying, “You really ought to share what you’ve learned with others!” So, I did, and it’s connected me with hundreds of lovely, like-minded people (like you!) through social media, podcast appearances, and book sales.
Reject Your Fake ID to Express Your Best Self
How will you begin to challenge your own fake ID to liberate the voice and guidance of your true self? Do you need to quit some bad habits that numb your spirit and cause bad things to happen? Might you seek help from a therapist? Perhaps you can join a group of people who’ve overcome problems like yours.
Or, you might take a course to learn to meditate (I recommend “Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction” developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn and colleagues at University of Massachusetts Medical Center). Finally, I’ve found great help from the free phone meditation apps, Insight Timer, Calm, and others.
I wish for you that you awaken to your true self’s clarity of purpose, peace of mind, joy, and fulfilling relationships.
With SO much LOVE from me to you! Gigi
PS: My award-winning book outlines many more ways to find calm, wisdom and connection, no matter what’s going on in your life.
In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating: 4.8 stars.
Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.
Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.
For years, people told me I was too “thin-skinned” or “high–maintenance.” When I looked around at others, they didn’t seem to take things so personally, or to be bothered by loud noises and bright lights. What was wrong with me? About ten years ago I discovered the answer: I’m a “highly sensitive person” and I’m NOT alone. Indeed, about 20% of the population shares this trait.
You’ll be happy to hear that these characteristics are quite respected in many societies where the sensitive ones become advisors and sages.
But, in our Western culture, being highly sensitive isn’t always understood or valued. That’s why some of us so often feel on the outside looking in.
So, if you think you might be a highly sensitive person or have a loved one that is, take the quiz on Aron’s website and check out her blog, “Comfort Zone.”
The healthiest path for us sensitive folks is to value who we are and take good care of ourselves.
Self-Care for Highly Sensitive People
If you can relate, here are a few suggestions for self-care.
Reduce your exposure to loud, dramatic input: news programs, social media, argumentative friends/family, etc.
Schedule downtime to rest, meditate, read, and renew after a busy day or after lots of social activity.
Sleep enough, eat well and limit caffeine intake.
Treat yourself to the enjoyment of beauty: take a walk, savor a sunset, etc.
Hang out with loving people who like you exactly the way you are.
Avoid bright lights and loud background noise (if they bother you).
Remind yourself that your sensitivity makes you creative, empathetic, and loving.
If, like me, you are highly sensitive, please share a few of your insights here. Thanks!
In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.
Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.
Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.
