Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

BREAK THROUGH YOUR DOUBTS! 

 

It’s so weird how my gut prompts me to take on these big goals—yup, like narrating my audio book of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now! And then I get frozen with doubts for a while while “whispered lies” play on in my head: “It’s too much work!” “It won’t be good enough!” Indeed, in the FB video I posted last week, I had decided to hire a narrator for the audiobook. Then something amaaaaazing happened. Watch the 5-minute video to see how providence moves, in spite of our fears and doubts.  

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in worry less nowPsychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.

 

Don’t Let Fear Sabotage Your Dream

worry less nowDo you have a dream or goal,  but you just can’t get yourself to pursue it? Every time you think about working on it, you find tons of reasons to put it off, or tell yourself you just can’t do it.

In short, you sabotage your dream in spite of your passion for it. It’s a horrible feeling: you’re inspired to do something but too afraid to actually do it.

I’ve been there.  In 2011, I suddenly had a desire to write a book to help people overcome negative thinking. As I wove together my personal stories, techniques, and exercises, I hit more than a few blocks. Fortunately, I was able to complete a first draft with support from other authors and an energy therapist.

After an editor and some other readers suggested major changes to my first draft, fear almost sabotaged my dream by whispering, What if the changes ruin it? How could I possibly do that much rewriting?  Would it ever be “good enough?” What will happen when I share so many personal details about me and my family?

Recently, I ran across a journal entry from that time in 2015. My writing had come to a halt and I was seeking a way forward.

Providence Moves

W.H. Murray wrote, “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”

Providence moved when I found four questions that freed me up to pursue my dream (the questions may be from The War of Art by Steven Pressfield). Here are the answers I wrote to those questions.

What painful ideas are keeping me from finishing my book?

– I’ll miss out on lots of fun

– I hate the idea of marketing after I finish

– It might not be good enough

– I dread the publishing process

What pleasure can be gained from finishing it?

– Doing what I’m probably here for: teaching kindness and love

– Finding out that the ideas I’ve presented have helped others

– Holding it in my hands, beautiful and complete!

– Knowing that I accomplished this monumental task

What will it cost me if I do not do this?

– I’ll feel embarassed because a lot of people know about it

– I would let down the part of me that’s inspiring me to do this

– Ego would have a victory

– I would feel self-hatred and shame

– I would continue to be jealous of other successful authors

Why is completing my book so important?

– I want others to be able to use the many concepts, tools, and actions I’ve learned so they can be free of worry/fear, and be more loving, happy, and content

– It shares who I am with readers so they can see my difficult times and be inspired to grow past theirs

– It is a useful resource-book–a compendium of many helpful tools

– I want to show myself that I can do this really challenging thing

Worry Less Now by Gigi LangerThe answers to these questions proved to be very powerful motivators. Within a year, I had completed chapters 5-7, and by 2017 I had an advance copy ready for reviewers. Then in February 2018, I released the completed book,

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the great reviews and the national award “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” won. It just goes to show that fear can NOT sabotage our dreams when we have enough tools to break through it!

For specific tools to overcome negativity and worry, check out my book “50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.” 

worry less nowGigi Langer is the former “Queen of Worry” who  holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, and lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

Cultivate Detachment for Peace of Mind

detach peace of mindTo Gain Peace of Mind, Detach!
I often hear a negative tone on my TV screen and news sites. So many of the experts–regardless of their point of view–sound sarcastic, judgmental, and  convinced they are absolutely 100% right.

Sadly,  what we see in the media too often presses the fear button in our psyches. If spiritual principles hold true,  this is dangerous business.

Hatred and condemnation multiply fear and draw us away from peace of mind (love).

I’m not suggesting that we bury our heads in the sand.  I read a variety of news articles so I can be informed. I also write to my local and national representatives and, of course I vote.  But I refrain from judging and worrying.

It’s all too easy to let the daily onslaught of news convince us that we are at the mercy of the world’s conflicts. The truth is, our essence is spiritual, untouched by today’s fear-filled scenarios.

That’s why I am so drawn to this phrase: “The best attitude to cultivate is gentle indifference.” (July 30th reading in Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course by Karen Casey).

Another word for “gentle indifference” might be “detachment”a standing apart without getting caught up in the drama; but still acting from a place of peace and integrity.

Here’s how I try to detach and gain peace of mind, so I can contribute to our society’s future in the best way possible:

  • The minute I hear troubling news, I pray for those involved, that they  may be guided to the best solutions for all.
  • When I’m tempted to respond negatively, I take a few deep breaths and affirm that all is in perfect order, even if my limited perceptions can’t see it.
  • I trust that by seeking peace of mind first, I will be guided to the right thoughts, words, and actions.
  • I accept that my goal is to be a channel of love, not fear.
  • As a “Highly Sensitive Person,” I limit my exposure to inflammatory news sources.

How do you remain centered and positively productive during turbulent times?    Please share in the Comments section below. 

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

CELEBRATE INDEPENDENCE FROM YOUR WORRY-COMMITTEE!

worry less now

My friends say our worries & fears come from the not-so-helpful “committee in my head.” I call those negative voices “whispered lies.”

For instance, for too many years I believed “If I want to be liked, I must look good.” This whispered lie made me constantly worried about my appearance and behavior.

A few more examples include:

• “I’ll never have enough money.”

• “I always sabotage my success.”

• “Relationships just don’t work for me.”

• “We could all be happy if only Dad would stop drinking.”

Although many of our whispered lies concern ourselves, they often focus on our children, spouses, friends, or relatives—for instance, the last example about the father’s drinking. Other distressing beliefs involve institutions, as in “If the government would just change this policy, we’d all be better off.”

Even though it might be true that Dad ought to stop drinking or the government should make changes, these events have no control over your own happiness.

You can find peace of mind under any circumstance because you’re in charge of what you think about.

Most of our worries are fueled by false stories installed into our minds long ago, just waiting for opportunities to be confirmed. Wayne Dyer wrote that everything our brain “knows” is based on past experiences. Therefore, when an event resembles—even in a small way—an old painful one, our mind interprets the new event according to the long-standing negative belief.

Since most whispered lies live largely in our unconscious, we’re often unaware of them.

To illustrate the power of my own “negative committee’s” lies, consider why I failed at romantic love so many times during my twenties and thirties. I wanted to believe that love was possible for me, but my past had taught me the lie “I’m not worthy of love.”

This belief lived so strongly in my mind that, even when a man loved me deeply, I couldn’t believe it was true. After several months, I would become convinced that he wasn’t fulfilling my needs. These worries made me so demanding that I soon snuffed out all the happiness and joy of new love. When it ended, I’d tell myself, “I just don’t deserve love!” Until I got honest and started healing my faulty thinking, I had no hope of enjoying a happy relationship.

I’m so grateful for the therapy, recovery, psychological strategies, and spiritual tools that gave me freedom from my false beliefs. As a result I’m a pretty happy camper most days — AND I’ve been happily married for 29 years. So what if it’s my 4th husband??? He’s fabulous!

To learn how to win independence from your own committee’s whispered lies, check out my award-winning book 50 Ways to Worry Less Now.  Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and ebook formats.

Gigi Langer, PhD has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She’s written several books for educators, and is a sought-after speaker and workshop leader.  Gigi holds a doctorate in Psychological Studies in Education  and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.