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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

Tag: fear

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To Worry Less Now, Choose Love Over Fear

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Fear, Worry Less Now, Gigi Langer, Overcome Negative ThinkingWhen I first entered therapy, I saw myself shrunken and powerless in the corner of a dark room filled with scary plastic objects. As time went on, that image changed. It was as if a bright light entered the room and dissolved all those fear-filled dark objects.

I believe that most of our worries, resentments, and pain are merely illusions, or as I call them, “Whispered Lies.” Fear jumps into the driver’s seat of our minds and starts projecting all kinds of problems to be solved. Mark Twain said it this way, “My life is a series of calamities, most of which never happened.”

Just take a moment and observe the content of your thoughts and how they resonate in your body. If you’re anything like me, it quickly becomes clear that we’re scaring the shit out of ourselves. And, just in case we need a little help, there’s always TV and its multitude of disasters (the past, present, and predicted).

It’s no wonder that so many of us live in a constant state of anxiety and tension. The modern term, which I might call a euphemism, is “stress.” This state is so universal, that, if you stopped 20 people on the street, most of them would say they wanted to have less fear and worry in their lives. And, if you really want to be disturbed, read about how stress and worry harm our health.

A Course in Miracles (and many other wisdom traditions) teach us that we can be in only two states of mind: fear or love. When we align ourselves with love, we’re at peace and feel at-one with God (universe, positive power) and with all others.  When we’re in fear, however, we close our hearts to others.

Because our bodies are hard-wired to compete for what we see as a limited amount of love, money, and otherworldly goodies, fear is our default setting. But we don’t have to become a victim of our worries and negative thinking. It’s what we do next that matters: Do we seek a different way of seeing our troublesome situations?

It’s a simple choice, but it takes vigilance and practice. Just notice what you’re thinking about and, if it is making you tense, admit that to yourself. Then, gently turn your thoughts to something that gives you joy and peace. It might be a scene of nature,  a prayer, or an affirmation. Then keep an eye out for when you revert to the “worry and fear channel.” Again, just notice what you’re thinking about and change it to something more positive or inspiring.

Emmet Fox gives directions for the “Golden Key” here. He wrote that when you consistently turn your thoughts away from fear and toward a source of positive power, whatever was bothering you before will be resolved. Try it, you’ll like it!

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi Langer is a former “queen of worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of  50 Ways to Worry Less Now! Coming out in February 2018, the new book contains 50 powerful tips to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, and be happy. Gigi has a PhD from Stanford University.

 

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Are You Stuck? Four Strategies to Get Unstuck

stop fear and doubt, worry less now

For the past few weeks I’ve felt stuck in fear and doubt.  I’ve written a new book because I wanted to share the tools that helped me face and grow through life challenges such as addiction, divorce, chronic pain, perfectionism, and co-dependence.  

The book goes on sale in February, so it’s time to start promoting it.  But I’m rather overwhelmed by the prospect.  My mind’s (not-so-helpful) whispered lies chatter away: “It’s too much work! Where do I start? Look how well other authors do it! What’s wrong with me?”

When such worries and negative thinking keep us stuck, how do we move forward? Today, I used four strategies to dissolve my fears and return to my happy, creative, productive self. It’s through struggles like this that I’ve discovered these tools.

1. Get Honest with Yourself. At first, my worries flew under the radar, coaxing me to eat sugary “treats,” binge-watch TV, and oversleep. Fortunately, I no longer use drugs, alcohol, overwork, or sex to avoid my feelings. Those are all dead-ends that stop growth in its tracks.

So, my first step was to honestly admit to myself that my latest challenge had me rattled. Then I could practice self-compassion (http://KristinNeff.com), and clear away the shame. (After all, how many authors really do know how to market a book?).

I gain self-honesty most easily when I can share my struggles with healthy friends. Journaling helps too; when my fears are out on page, they don’t seem insurmountable. Quite often I pray or meditate—both help me feel that I’m not alone and shrink my fears.

2. Claim Positive Power. Here’s the step that many balk at: I admitted that my willpower wasn’t going to change anything.  When I let go of my need for control and certainty, I can access a source of power greater than my fears.

My negative thinking told me I must try to figure out the magic formula that would make the book sell. Although it’s true that I do need to learn a lot, I don’t have to motivate myself with such fearful thoughts. My best inspiration and guidance come from a higher, wiser place.

You may be thinking, “Oh, man, here we go with that higher power stuff.” Power and wisdom come from many sources and it’s up to you to find your own. You might use a variety of terms for this power: courage, God, universal truth, providence, true self, angels—it doesn’t matter, as long as proves to be stronger than your fear.

Try reading and listening to words that inspire you. Then, just say to yourself, “Maybe I’ll try trusting a power greater than my fearful thinking.” That’s all that’s necessary.

3. Choose Your Future. Even when I’m stuck, I know what I’d like to have happen. In this case, I wanted the marketing process to get the book into the hands and hearts of the people it will help.

When I was stuck, I didn’t believe this could happen, and I was resentful that it seemed so hard. My mind was so clogged with negativity and fear that little inspiration could enter it.

But I didn’t have to say there. I set aside my worries and stated my goal; then I took actions to stream positive power into my body, mind, and spirit.

4. Use Growth Practices. First, I needed to reinstate my daily practices of reading inspiring writing, talking with supportive friends, meditating, and walking outdoors. I had been lax for the past weeks; that’s why I found myself at the mercy of my fears and doubts.

Your own daily tools for achieving peace might differ, but they will always lower the volume of your worries and whispered lies.

Today I used tapping therapy, a few new chants, and a prayer to dissolve my negativity. As a result, I now trust that the right resources and inspired actions to successfully market my book are on their way. In fact, this article is my first creative action in a while. Whew!

When your own worries and doubts threaten your happiness and productivity, try these four strategies:

  • Honesty: “Here’s what’s going on inside me.”
  • Power: “I claim courage and intuitive direction.”
  • Choices: “This is what I want and I’m going for it!”
  • Growth Practices: “I’m actively connecting with loving power.”

In my own and others’ experience, these practices yield wonderful results:

  • Peace of Mind. Manage life’s challenges with calm, wisdom, hope, and gratitude.
  • Clarity. Fulfill your dreams without limitations.
  • Enjoy relationships that thrive and serve others.

worry , recovery, sanity

Gigi Langer, PhD.  Based on her work in psychology and personal experience in therapy, recovery, and a variety of spiritual teachings, Gigi is a sought-after speaker, retreat leader, and award-winning writer and professor.  She has co-authored five other books for educators.

50 Ways to Worry Less Now will be released in early 2018.  Learn more at https://gigilanger.com/new-book-worry-less-now/

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Can A Course in Miracles Cure Your Worries?

A Course in Miracles BookHow Does A Course in Miracles Work? 

I presented the ideas in this blog at a recent workshop  in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  If you’re a student of the Course, I’d love to receive your comments. If you’re new to it, you may find its teachings helpful to your personal growth. It has changed my life!

What is A Course in Miracles? (from Wikipedia)

The book, A Course in Miracles (ACIM), consists of three sections entitled “Text”, “Workbook” and “Manual for Teachers.” Its purpose is to bring about a “spiritual transformation,”  In 1965, Helen Schucman began working at a medical center as Bill Thetford’s research associate. When their weekly office meetings became quite contentious, Thetford concluded that “[t]here must be another way.” Schucman believed this interaction triggered a series of visions, dreams, and heightened imagery, along with an “inner voice” that told her: “This is a Course in Miracles, please take notes.” The next day, she explained her “note taking” to Thetford. To her surprise, Thetford encouraged her to continue the process. Schucman said that the writing made her very uncomfortable, though it never seriously occurred to her to stop. The transcription was completed in 1977. ACIM is published by the Foundation for Inner Peace in Novato, CA.

General Principles of ACIM : Gigi’s Ideas (Workbook lesson # in parentheses)

A miracle is a shift in perception. We choose God’s loving thoughts over ego’s fearful thoughts.  We can align our minds with either Love or Fear.

  • Love: God. Spirit. The only reality. Everything that comes from love is good: e.g., peace, service, care.
  • Fear: The ego. Illusions. The part of the mind that knows only fear: judging, separating, attacking. God did not create the ego. It’s driven by bodily instincts for survival and competition. When people operate out of fear, it’s simply an appeal for help.

Who Am I, Really? “We’re spiritual beings living in a human body.”

  • I am a beloved child of God. I am spirit. (But I’ve forgotten this.) (114)
  • I am not a body. I am free, for I am still as God created me. (201)
  • God is in my mind. My mind holds only what I think with God. (141)

Don’t Trust Ego’s Thoughts

Ego’s voice is the first one and the loudest one we hear. It tells us happiness is not in God; that it’s in worldly people, places & things.

  • I’m never upset for the reason I think. (5)
  • I’m upset because I see something that isn’t there. (6)
  • I see only the past. (7) I have no neutral thoughts. (23)
  • The world I see holds nothing I want. (128)

“It’s His/Her Fault!”

We’re sinless in God’s Eyes: We love ourselves & others because God does. Fear (ego) separates us from our own spirit AND one another.

  • When people operate out of fear, it is simply an appeal for help.
  • What I see is a form of vengeance (attack/defense). (22)
  • My grievances hide the light of the world. (69)

There’s Only One of Us Here

What we see in another is what we believe about ourselves. As we love and forgive others, we dissolve our sense of separation from God     and our fellows. We’re students and teachers to one other.

  • To give and receive are one in truth. (108)
  • All that I give is given to myself. (126)
  • I’m not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. (18)  

How to Escape Ego and Fear

Every time we’re disturbed, we need to reject ego’s negative    perceptions and ask God (Love) to help us see things differently. There is no “order of difficulty” to either problems or miracles. They’re all the same: either misperceptions or the truth.

 I Want to Be Free of Ego’s Perceptions

  • I share God’s will for happiness for me. (102)
  • I am not the victim of the world I see. (31)
  • The past is over. It can touch me not. (289)
  • I could see peace instead of this. (34)

I Choose Love over Fear

  • I am determined to see this differently. (21)
  • Let miracles replace all grievances. (78)
  • Let every voice but God’s be still in me. (254)
  • I rest in God. (109)
  • Love is the way I walk in gratitude. (195)

Related Prayers

Third Step Prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee – To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Seventh Step Prayer:  My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

The Activity of God (J. Sig Paulson — Unity Church): The activity of God is the only power at work in my mind, heart, and life. All false beliefs, all negative appearances are dissolved right now by the loving, forgiving action of God. I am whole, strong, and free as God created me to be.

Want to Learn More?

Start with Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love; Then get my friend, Karen Casey’s, two wonderful books, Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course and 52 Ways to Live The Course in Miracles. https://www.amazon.com/Karen-Casey/e/B001IGNGO2

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi has studied ACIM since 1988. She now attends Course study groups in Michigan and Florida.  Langer is a certified facilitator of Gerald Jampolsky’s Attitudinal Healing, a program that helps children and adults struggling with disease apply the ideas from ACIM.

Gigi Langer’s new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, is being published by Possum Hill Press in February, 2018.

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Meditation: A sure cure for fear & worry

Meditation to the rescue!

Meditation overcomes worry
Possum Hill Press (my publisher)

 

Fear blocked my dream: To write Worry Less Now!  

IT’S DUE IN SEPTEMBER 2017  

After I stated aloud my dream to write this book, I experienced a period of turmoil and resistance I refer to as the backlash effect. My whispered lies seemed to wake up and say, “What? This can’t be! There’s no way you’re going do that!” “You can’t get this honest about your life; people will think you’re neurotic,” and “You can’t handle it if people criticize you.” Suddenly, I found myself unable to write.

A quote from Goethe sums up the coincidences that followed soon after I hit that block: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”

Despite knowing about the many benefits of meditation, I had never been able to get the hang of it. I just couldn’t quiet my incessant thinking long enough to feel successful. Then providence moved in a surprising way.

• While at lunch with my friend Chris, who had just completed her first book, I shared my fears about my writing. She told me how meditating had calmed her mind and given her a connection to a source of wise guidance in her work.

•Soon after, I made a new friend, Mara, who meditates for twenty minutes twice a day. I became envious of her unflappable sense of peace.

•Later that month, a woman in my book club mentioned she recently began meditating as part of her treatment for shingles, and had not had an episode since.

•After spontaneously deciding to attend a women’s retreat, I found when I arrived that the topic was meditation! As the weekend progressed, I began to believe I could actually adopt this helpful practice.

•Soon after the retreat, a friend asked me to join her for Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey’s twenty-one-day online meditation challenge.

At that point, I looked up to the heavens, and said, “OK, OK!” and began to meditate most mornings.

I find if I skip my morning meditation, I have less serenity and bravery to deal with my challenges. For example, I recently began my day by reading many emails about a retreat I was leading. When I later went to my desk to piece together some new ideas for this chapter, I noticed I was tense and couldn’t find the right words. I then stopped, asked myself, “What’s wrong?” and remembered I had neglected to meditate.

Instead of criticizing myself, I gave myself kudos for noticing my tension. Recalling that it’ s never too late to start a day over, I did just that. As I entered the stillness, I could almost hear my body saying, “OK, the wise one is driving the bus now. We can stop the high alert.”

I received a wondrous result: I wrote the exact the words I had been searching for earlier. I was no longer stuck!

Gigi Langer is a former “queen of worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of Worry Less Now! Coming out in Fall 2017, the new book contains 50 powerful tips to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, and be happy.