Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

I CAN’T BELIEVE I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Today I was moved to read through my latest book, “Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart.” I had published it last year and had not really done much n terms of marketing it. So, there it sat–neglected!

But this morning I got a nudge (from my True Self) to pick it up and read every page. It took me about 4 hours (without doing any of the reflection questions), and I was amazed to discover how good it is. In fact, I can’t believe I wrote it!

Well, I didn’t really write it–not alone. Although the inspiration and ideas came from my heart and my higher power, I hired two fabulous editors to help make the book logical and interesting. They were expensive, but, looking back, I am so glad I spent those many dollars!

So, I thought I would begin sharing excerpts with you in my blog posts. Here’s a bit that shares how my life launched me on a quest for happiness and joy, in spite of my troubled past.

What is this True Self I’m referring to? It’s the divine you, deep inside, that guides you through the world with love and wisdom. Although this True Self has never left you, it may have been hidden by heart-closing fears, resentments, and self-criticism. Fortunately, you can remove these barriers by opening your heart to Loving Energy, thus revealing the power of your True Self.

It’s not as hard as you might think. In fact, you’ve already experienced many heart-opening moments of your own. It’s just a matter of noticing and cultivating receptivity to them. Here’s a story about one such moment in my life.

Many years ago, my third husband and I took a trip out west. Having realized too late that I had married the wrong man, I was miserable the entire time. My stomach hurt constantly, but when I went to the ER, they found nothing wrong. There was something wrong, alright, but not with my stomach. I just hadn’t been able to face it.

One afternoon late in the trip, we pulled up to a gift shop bordering Jenny Lake in the Grand Tetons. As soon as I entered the shop, I heard a bell-like voice filling the space with song. I just had to know who the singer was! After the shopkeeper told me about Kate Wolf, I immediately bought her tape. From that day on, Kate’s music would accompany me as I journeyed out of a hellish life into one of beauty and peace.

With the sweet music still in my head, I exited the shop, made my way to the shore, and found a rock to perch on. Sitting quietly, I watched as the sunlight grazed the water, reflecting back the white-tipped mountain peaks. The image held my gaze. For one long, beautiful moment, I forgot the turmoil of my strangled dreams and baffling, troubled life.

As I stared, the white peaks beckoned to me, seeming to offer another way of thinking, of looking at the world. New, surprising feelings came to me in a warm, kind voice: Believe! Trust! Your dreams are still possible. The past is over. Begin anew now.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I grappled with this unex- pected invitation. Taking a leap of faith I didn’t know I had, I believed. I trusted. Suddenly, my old feelings of shame, guilt, and hopelessness began to disintegrate.

After that day, I started receiving amazing gifts. First, I found sobriety and a Loving Energy greater than my fears. Then, a therapist helped me overcome the barriers that had been closing my heart: codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing, to name a few. As I continued to grow, I found A Course in Miracles (ACIM), a spiritual text that teaches how to choose Love over fear in every circumstance.

My newest book, Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is only $9.99 –available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE.

Get my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, for only $8.95 at GigiLanger.com/buy (e-book at Amazon)

Thank you for POSTING your REVIEWs on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 38 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Her 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won an Indie Excellence Award in 2019. Gigi worked at Eastern Michigan University for 25 years, and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now

ATTITUDINAL HEALING PRINCIPLE 10: WE ARE CONNECTED AS A WHOLE, NOT SEPARATE

Here we talk about how we are all connected–whole, not separate–the tenth of the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing. AH is a simplified version of A Course in Miracles, developed by Jerry Jampolsky). In AH groups members apply the principles to almost any difficulty they have. 

In my recent posts, I summarized the first nine principles:

In order to feel inner peace we need to begin to focus on at-one-ness with ourselves and those around us. This means that we can begin to dispel the feelings of separateness which consistently cause us only pain. It is another of those barriers we put up to protect ourselves from being hurt.

When we get caught in the right/wrong, good/bad trap, we are only seeing a fragment of the whole. When we play this game, there is no way that we can be peaceful. It is always a “no win” situation regardless of what the momentary outcome may be.

We can learn to have a new attitude toward ourselves, others around us, and the world we see. We can recognize that there is a greater whole other than the tunnel vision through which we sometimes look.

Through an active power within us, we can learn to sense a greater picture. This power allows us to expand and become aware of this greater whole so that we don’t need to get caught up in the conflict that others are experiencing. The conflict they are going through is their path, not ours.

Our job is to stay focused so that we can begin to see each situation differently and not become a part of a meaningless pattern. To do this,
we raise our consciousness to a higher level of awareness by
retraining our minds as each situation arises. We can say to ourselves, “I do not choose to get caught up in what is happening right now, but instead choose to see the whole of life.”

By doing this, our focus broadens and changes and we start to see things differently. There is a tremendous excitement in the experience of the changes that take place inside us when we change our thought patterns.

Source material: Teach only Love by Jerry Jampolsky and AH Review Principles Booklet

More About Attitudinal Healing

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. Many years ago, I joined my mentor, Jane Stallings, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. There, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased). What a wonderful contribution he has made to the world!

My newest book, Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, is only $8.95 at GigiLanger.com/buy (e-book at Amazon)

Thank you for POSTING your REVIEWs on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 38 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Her 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won an Indie Excellence Award in 2019. Gigi worked at Eastern Michigan University for 25 years, and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now

FROM HARRIET HUNTER: “NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS”

THANK YOU TO MY DEAR FRIEND, HARRIET, FOR ALLOWING ME TO PRESENT HER FABULOUS ARTICLE, “New Year Resolutions.” Read on to get a taste of Harriet’s humor, wisdom, and inspiration. The “Collector’s Edition of Miracles of Recovery” and Harriet’s other books are available HERE. https://amzn.to/3W88R3W

“Before sobriety, New Year’s resolutions were a lot like not picking up a drink. Or drug!  I would SWEAR each morning I could get through the day, AND I DID!

But I couldn’t get through the night. Nighttime would come (or just the thought of night coming on would be enough to send my nerves into a panic), and I’d tell my family, “Ooops, I’ve forgotten something!” and out I’d go.

“There was never a time when I could not be without my best friend who was always there for me. Without fail.

“And so came the failure of everything else that I wanted to do.

“Each New Year’s Eve I’d make my faithful resolutions. You know the drill: I was going to QUIT drinking followed by quitting drinking beginning the next day. These two were always at the top of my list.  But I think deep down I knew it was a joke. It was the closest to not drinking I could get.

“Fast Forward. Now, 23 years clean and sober, my intentions and statements about what is true for me have taken on a stronger, deliberate meaning.

I’d like to share a few things with you that continue to work for me.

Give up the Ghost of Failure

I needed to Stop. Kidding. Myself: I was going to be a complete looser for the REST of my life if I didn’t give up the Ghost of Failure. I never had a prayer of succeeding at anything, because, I told myself, I was too undisciplined. I hurt too many people and was no longer redeemable. This was the set-up I needed to fail yet again!!

And it worked for me for a lifetime.

a woman with arms stretched out

The key concept here is to, “Listen to The Words You Use Against Yourself.” Nothing will assure your success more than when you tell yourself a thousand times that “I Am a Winner and I CAN and WILL do this.” 

Wayne Dwyer, Ph.D., said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

In the story, “Acceptance Was the Answer” on page 420 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous the author shares Dr. Dyer’s philosophy here with, “I MUST keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations…”

When we “accept” a situation and move that specific situation from our head to our heart, we have become convinced we can accomplish our goal because we’ve made it a part of who we are. We are positively convinced, absolutely certain now, we can do this, and we do! Does this happen with one thought, or one try? Typically, not.

We expand the possibility of our success by making our resolutions non-negotiable so we cannot fail.

This one solitary ACT of turning failure into success starts to unfold around us and with repetition, belief in ourselves and continual expanding of these thoughts, we begin to bloom find hope in our hard-fought accomplishment.

What we focus on, becomes us, because it has moved into the ranks of our critical thinking. We have become CERTAIN it is what we want to do and we DO it!!  Continued action, as if at the gym, strengthens this resolve and tenacity.

And we succeed! Failure now is a thing of the past because we’ve changed the way we’ve look at the thing we want to conquer!

Success begins and ends with us, but we must first believe it possible, But before we’re able to do that, we have to WANT it more than anything. In much the same way we want our sobriety.

Develop Ten (10) Intentions (Resolutions) to Achieve in 2023

The first five must be achievable, attainable with a little effort on your part. And we do them!

The next five, however, are the more involved, consequential and life-changing intentions. You must be honest about how much you want to achieve them, so prioritize as you go. Determine how achievable they are but do it!  In other words, if you intend to lose 25 pounds, begin your first book or find a new job writing these words down are not enough. In fact—don’t commit them to paper at all unless and until you’ve determined the importance and consequence of each. Because once we commit them to paper and prioritize them, we begin to allocate precious energy, emotionalism, prayers and forward motion to them whether you know it or not.

What are you willing to do differently?

This is the definition of life-altering propositions, and one of the greatest demonstrations of those who succeed. We already know that if nothing changes, well—nothing changes!

‘Differently’ doesn’t have to be huge, because it is most often found in our thinking. To do things ‘differently’ is to outline a mental plan of success. It may or may not include prayer, waking up earlier, the process might be a combination of large and small changes, but changes they are. It is this hula-hoop of changes we make to do a specific situation differently that moves us from our old ‘failure’ of thinking, to new behavior of a ‘success,’ because preparation, thought and the value we attach to this new intention is the difference between failing and succeeding.

What are you truly made of, and what lengths are you willing to go to, to achieve your resolutions?

This answer requires honest reflections on subjects like procrastination, whether or not you have the sustainability inside necessary to carry it out, and what the payoff will be to go through with this intention?

If we want success, then we must set ourselves UP to experience that success differently than we’ve done in the past.

Oftentimes, in order for this new behavior or action to be achieved, it must be part of your daily thinking. It may involve how you ‘see’ yourself, moving closer to your success just for today, taking small steps as the elephant, but making strong strides with each forward motion. It may require adding a special mantra, verse, prayer to your daily life.

Whatever it involves, if you make it exciting, thorough and a part of your daily thinking, you cannot fail. Because you’ve already ‘expanded’ the energy associated with your resolution so much it is now a part of who you are!

Lastly, whatever your Big Five might be—be sure to seek out your passion associated with each of these and have faith that they wouldn’t be on your list without this passion. USE that passion, that excitement and positivity to work with you as you begin tackling one at a time as prioritized. Of course, you’ll rearrange them as the year moves forward, but we can only DO one at a time! ~  Anything more and we lose focus and forward momentum and become overwhelmed.

Blessings to each of this New Year with the allotment of another 365 days to become increasingly creative with our time, with ourselves, and learn by reaching and collaborating with others how they’ve done it.


If you’d like to see all of the books from Harriet, visit https://amzn.to/3W88R3W. Her new Collector’s Edition of Miracles of Recovery is at the bottom of the page.

LINK TO FULL BLOG: https://harriethunter.org/alcohol-and-drug-addiction-considering-your-new-years-intentions/

Gigi’s a newest book describes how to dissolve the blockages that close our hearts to loving ourselves and others. Learn to open access to the Loving Energy of your True Self. Find the wisdom and courage to face and resolve relationship difficulties, perfectionism, illness, and worry about loved ones (among others).  Due on Amazon, mid-February, 2023.

Gigi Langer has been sober over 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now
worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE $8.95 free US shipping.)

GOTTA PROBLEM? Refrain, Reflect, Release, Respond

When we finally stop trying to fix our challenges on our own, the golden moment of surrender arrives. We realize we must find a way to reconnect with the wisdom of our true self. But how do we do that? First, we refrain from acting.

Then we reflect on our part in the difficulty; next we marshal Loving Energy to release us from the negativity blocking our hearts. Finally, from the calm of our true self, we respond in the best way for all involved.

[from my new book, Love More Now: Reflections on Open-Hearted Living, coming soon!]

Refraining from Taking Direct Action
 
Ironically, when faced with a life challenge, our best “action” is to refrain from acting. We do nothing—for now. Let’s admit it; we often try for a quick fix just so our icky feelings will go away. We want to feel better now rather than reflecting on our part in the situation. In most cases, however, acting too soon produces harmful words and actions that we never intended. Why? Because we were driven by fear and not by love.
 
To avoid this trap, we learn to PAUSE: Pause Action Until Serenity Emerges. This serenity comes from reflecting on our part and then choosing to open our hearts, thus releasing us from the grip of our fears. From this place of peace arise all the solutions we will ever need. But what do we DO while we’re pausing?
 
First, it’s helpful to cultivate self-compassion by opening our heart to ourselves. After all, we may feel shame about being in such a difficulty, spawning whispered lies of self-condemnation: Why can’t I handle this better? I should know how to fix this! What’s wrong with me? Or, we might point the finger toward others in a blame-game: It’s their fault! I am right and they’re wrong. They should change. None of this makes us feel any better.
 
On the contrary, we can reassure ourselves that we are merely imperfect human beings doing the best we can. For example, telling ourselves, Yes, this is hard, and we’re upset. That’s okay, this often happens in life, and we’ve gotten through hard times before. Let’s remember, we’ve got our true self and others’ Loving Energy to help us.
 
Remember too the lesson taught by so many wisdom traditions: even though our true self is perfect Love, our human self is on this earth to learn to be as loving as possible. This is a tall order, indeed, for those of us mired in fear. If we’re awake and willing, however, we learn to “render the barriers to love harmless,” as described in the opening quotation.
 
Reflecting on My Part
 
As we pause and refrain from action, we reflect on our part in the situation: What is it about me that makes this so difficult? Three of the twelve steps of AA suggest using specific questions to examine our part in any difficulty. Such questions help us consider how our thoughts, feelings, and patterns might be responsible for our own unhappiness. The list below is derived from the five shortcomings we examined in Chapter 4, and the six coping patterns listed in Chapter 3.  
 
We can think of these areas as “soft-spots” in our human personalities that close our hearts to ourselves and others, thus blocking Loving Energy from healing our difficulties. Yet, it is this very Loving Energy that can release these blockages, freeing us to give and receive love.
 
As you read each question below, take a moment to reflect on it. Then, if it seems relevant to your current problems, make note of it.  Whom or what am I resenting, blaming, or criticizing? What are they “depriving” me of?What have I been afraid of, not trusting the Loving Power of my true self?Where have I been self-centered, thinking only of getting my own needs met?How have I been lying to myself? What have I not wanted to look at?What self-condemning beliefs have I held about myself? Are they really true?How have I been a caretaker by putting another’s needs above my own best interests?Do I sometimes feel like a martyr—a victim of circumstances beyond my control?How have I been a perfectionist, expecting myself and others to never make mistakes?How have I been people-pleasing by pretending to be what others want me to be?How have I been a workaholic, placing work above my relationships and health?How have I been a tap dancer, unwilling to commit to a program of growth and healing? 
After writing down a few of the most glaring items, it will be most helpful to list for each one: a) what you were trying to gain by holding on to it (e.g., material gain, emotional security, prestige, or sexual needs), b) the negative consequences for you and others of holding on to this soft spot, and c) what your life could be like if you didn’t have this soft spot. Now it’s time to enlist our Loving Power and our healthy, growth partners to release us from these shortcomings.
 
Releasing Blocks to Love

First, recall that I’ve said repeatedly that we cannot become more loving by doing it all alone, unaided by the guidance of healthy growth partners. Second, we can’t grow out of our self-defeating habits without the help of Loving power.
 
Reading this last sentence, you might be wondering, Wait a minute. If these flaws have been blocking the flow of love in my life, then how can that same love heal them? It’s important to acknowledge that your Loving Energy has never left you and that it is always available to you. We only believed we lost it and reinforced those beliefs through our self-defeating fears.
 
Happily, to “render the barriers to love harmless,” all we have to do is ask for help. As simple as that! Unfortunately, most of us have to get pretty uncomfortable before we surrender our old ways and open ourselves to another way of living. In this golden moment, Loving Power is right there ready to help us remove these barriers to love.
 
To harness this love, we need only consistently stream Loving power into our hearts. Many of us  do this by using any or all of the following practices on a daily basis: meditation, prayer for self and others, affirmations and visualization, mindfulness/being in the now, kindness/giving love, and gratitude lists. Some of the other practices I use when a persistent pattern needs a direct infusion of healing are:  thought-switching (e.g., the Golden Key), Master Mind group, tapping, EMDR, Radical Forgiveness, and setting boundaries with others.
 
Responding in The Best Way for All

One of my favorite promises in Twelve-Step literature is “We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.” As we clear out the blockages to love, we begin to notice this intuitive sense emerging from our true self, nudging us in the best direction for all.

It’s rather mysterious because this wisdom doesn’t necessarily come from some pre-determined script we’ve created in our minds. It’s more likely that we find ourselves acting differently or thinking differently, and it’s only after the fact we can see the changes. How could it be any different if we’ve been filling our minds with heart-opening loving thoughts and feelings? It’s pretty simple: the more make space for love to enter our hearts, the more our lives begin to thrive in the most amazing ways.

 
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Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry” who writes, speaks, and encourages others to overcome their stress, addictions, and negative thinking. Her PhD is from Stanford University. Get a discounted signed copy of Gigi’s award-winning book, “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” (4.8 stars Amazon) ($8.95) Includes FREE PDF WORKBOOK CLICK <<HERE >>       https://GigiLanger.com/buy
Also available in e-book and audiobook formats.