THANK YOU TO MY DEAR FRIEND, HARRIET, FOR ALLOWING ME TO PRESENT HER FABULOUS ARTICLE, “New Year Resolutions.” Read on to get a taste of Harriet’s humor, wisdom, and inspiration. The “Collector’s Edition of Miracles of Recovery” and Harriet’s other books are available HERE. https://amzn.to/3W88R3W
“Before sobriety, New Year’s resolutions were a lot like not picking up a drink. Or drug! I would SWEAR each morning I could get through the day, AND I DID!
“But I couldn’t get through the night. Nighttime would come (or just the thought of night coming on would be enough to send my nerves into a panic), and I’d tell my family, “Ooops, I’ve forgotten something!” and out I’d go.
“There was never a time when I could not be without my best friend who was always there for me. Without fail.
“And so came the failure of everything else that I wanted to do.
“Each New Year’s Eve I’d make my faithful resolutions. You know the drill: I was going to QUIT drinking followed by quitting drinking beginning the next day. These two were always at the top of my list. But I think deep down I knew it was a joke. It was the closest to not drinking I could get.
“Fast Forward. Now, 23 years clean and sober, my intentions and statements about what is true for me have taken on a stronger, deliberate meaning.
I’d like to share a few things with you that continue to work for me.
Give up the Ghost of Failure
I needed to Stop. Kidding. Myself: I was going to be a complete looser for the REST of my life if I didn’t give up the Ghost of Failure. I never had a prayer of succeeding at anything, because, I told myself, I was too undisciplined. I hurt too many people and was no longer redeemable. This was the set-up I needed to fail yet again!!
And it worked for me for a lifetime.
The key concept here is to, “Listen to The Words You Use Against Yourself.” Nothing will assure your success more than when you tell yourself a thousand times that “I Am a Winner and I CAN and WILL do this.”
Wayne Dwyer, Ph.D., said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
In the story, “Acceptance Was the Answer” on page 420 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous the author shares Dr. Dyer’s philosophy here with, “I MUST keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations…”
When we “accept” a situation and move that specific situation from our head to our heart, we have become convinced we can accomplish our goal because we’ve made it a part of who we are. We are positively convinced, absolutely certain now, we can do this, and we do! Does this happen with one thought, or one try? Typically, not.
We expand the possibility of our success by making our resolutions non-negotiable so we cannot fail.
This one solitary ACT of turning failure into success starts to unfold around us and with repetition, belief in ourselves and continual expanding of these thoughts, we begin to bloom find hope in our hard-fought accomplishment.
What we focus on, becomes us, because it has moved into the ranks of our critical thinking. We have become CERTAIN it is what we want to do and we DO it!! Continued action, as if at the gym, strengthens this resolve and tenacity.
And we succeed! Failure now is a thing of the past because we’ve changed the way we’ve look at the thing we want to conquer!
Success begins and ends with us, but we must first believe it possible, But before we’re able to do that, we have to WANT it more than anything. In much the same way we want our sobriety.
Develop Ten (10) Intentions (Resolutions) to Achieve in 2023
The first five must be achievable, attainable with a little effort on your part. And we do them!
The next five, however, are the more involved, consequential and life-changing intentions. You must be honest about how much you want to achieve them, so prioritize as you go. Determine how achievable they are but do it! In other words, if you intend to lose 25 pounds, begin your first book or find a new job writing these words down are not enough. In fact—don’t commit them to paper at all unless and until you’ve determined the importance and consequence of each. Because once we commit them to paper and prioritize them, we begin to allocate precious energy, emotionalism, prayers and forward motion to them whether you know it or not.
What are you willing to do differently?
This is the definition of life-altering propositions, and one of the greatest demonstrations of those who succeed. We already know that if nothing changes, well—nothing changes!
‘Differently’ doesn’t have to be huge, because it is most often found in our thinking. To do things ‘differently’ is to outline a mental plan of success. It may or may not include prayer, waking up earlier, the process might be a combination of large and small changes, but changes they are. It is this hula-hoop of changes we make to do a specific situation differently that moves us from our old ‘failure’ of thinking, to new behavior of a ‘success,’ because preparation, thought and the value we attach to this new intention is the difference between failing and succeeding.
What are you truly made of, and what lengths are you willing to go to, to achieve your resolutions?
This answer requires honest reflections on subjects like procrastination, whether or not you have the sustainability inside necessary to carry it out, and what the payoff will be to go through with this intention?
If we want success, then we must set ourselves UP to experience that success differently than we’ve done in the past.
Oftentimes, in order for this new behavior or action to be achieved, it must be part of your daily thinking. It may involve how you ‘see’ yourself, moving closer to your success just for today, taking small steps as the elephant, but making strong strides with each forward motion. It may require adding a special mantra, verse, prayer to your daily life.
Whatever it involves, if you make it exciting, thorough and a part of your daily thinking, you cannot fail. Because you’ve already ‘expanded’ the energy associated with your resolution so much it is now a part of who you are!
Lastly, whatever your Big Five might be—be sure to seek out your passion associated with each of these and have faith that they wouldn’t be on your list without this passion. USE that passion, that excitement and positivity to work with you as you begin tackling one at a time as prioritized. Of course, you’ll rearrange them as the year moves forward, but we can only DO one at a time! ~ Anything more and we lose focus and forward momentum and become overwhelmed.
Blessings to each of this New Year with the allotment of another 365 days to become increasingly creative with our time, with ourselves, and learn by reaching and collaborating with others how they’ve done it.
If you’d like to see all of the books from Harriet, visit https://amzn.to/3W88R3W. Her new Collector’s Edition of Miracles of Recovery is at the bottom of the page.
Gigi’s a newest book describes how to dissolve the blockages that close our hearts to loving ourselves and others. Learn to open access to the Loving Energy of your True Self. Find the wisdom and courage to face and resolve relationship difficulties, perfectionism, illness, and worry about loved ones (among others). Due on Amazon, mid-February, 2023.
Gigi Langer has been sober over 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.
Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE $8.95 free US shipping.)