You CAN Transform from A Fearful Person into A Loving Person

worry less now  gigi langer

Wouldn’t we all rather be loving and generous rather than fearful and selfish? I sure would! But how do we actually make that transformation?

Well, I’ve been at it for about 35 years, and I must say, it’s actually working! Even now during the pandemic, I’m trusting that, in spite of so many tragedies, we’re all being taken care of by a source of loving power greater than the current worldly events. That’s a pretty amazing outcome for me, the former “queen of worry.”

How To Transform Fear into Love

I can only say I’m handling these difficulties with peace because I’ve put a lot of work into the following:

  • Refraining from self-destructive habits that numb my feelings
  • Choosing healthy, growing people as my friends and teachers
  • Gathering regularly with people actively working to improve their lives
  • Studying and using cognitive, energetic, and spiritual practices to overcome my negative, fearful thoughts and beliefs
  • Regularly meditating and praying
  • Sharing care, strength, and hope with those I love, mentor, and teach
  • Regularly acknowledging my limitations as a source of love, and using growth practices to free-up my creativity, courage, and power

This illustration from my book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now illustrates how to transform a fearful, self-serving life into a generous and satisfying one.

Before growth begins, we’re basically self-centered people, obsessed with a never-enough world. Our focus points outward as we try to compete with, control, and blame others.
As we grow and heal, we turn the arrows inward, taking responsibility for our own choices, beliefs, and actions. The right people and resources appear to help us dissolve our negative patterns, heal the past, and connect with the flow of loving power within us.
As growth continues, we live from our true self. We gain peace, attain our dreams, and direct hope and love outward toward others. From time to time, we look inward to check for and heal any new obstructions to love.

My Own Transformation

Before Growth Began:  My initial instincts were to grab everything I thought I needed through manipulating and controlling others. I was in love for its “high” and its illustion of security; I achieved high grades to boost my status with others; and I used alcohol and drugs to dull the pain of my failed attempts to find happiness through my own will-power. I had no hope of growing and healing as long as I kept numbing my feelings with substances and sex. When I became miserable enough, I finally gave up and sought help from a therapist. Eventually, I quit my self-defeating behaviors and began to grow.

Growing and Healing: My therapist directed me to a 12-step program and, after six months of half-hearted meeting attendance, I finally got a sponsor to help me work the steps. In therapy, I began to uncover and heal many of my old wounds and false beliefs. The 12-step meetings gave me loving, healthy friends, and a practical relationship with what I call a “loving power” (or true self)–a source of wisdom wiser than my self-centered fear.

Continue Growing: Over the past 35 years, I’ve remained clean and sober and grown tremendously. But it hasn’t been easy. In just the right timing, the layers of healing emerged as I faced physical ailments, codependency, sexual abuse, perfectionism, fierce self-sufficiency, and self-doubt. As these challenges appeared, I used the tools I’d learned to transform my fears into courage and power.

Sounds like a lot of work, aye? But guess what???? IT’S FUN! — Way more fun than being at the bar or enmeshed in codependent relationships.

I’ve been happily married to the man of my dreams for 31 years, and I love sharing challenges and victories with my “posse” of about 30 women as we gather together to dance, laugh, and eat pizza. I’m in one group that puts on retreats, another that studies A Course in Miracles, and several 12-step groups. Together, we have all sorts of adventures. But mainly, we GROW together through our honesty, openness, and care for one another.

You CAN transform your life, too, regardless of your past experiences or patterns. Nothing–absolutely nothing–about you is cast in stone. It just takes determination and putting yourself in the right groups with the right tools and teachers.

** I would love to hear how you’re transforming your own fears into loving thoughts and actions. **

Gigi Langer security

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

Worry Less Now Cover

In Worry Less NowGigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.


write to read janet kierstead

Here’s something cool to do with your children or grandchildren. Older kids can also use it with younger ones.

“Kids Write to Read” is a natural method to help anyone “teach” reading to young children.

My friend, Janet Kierstead PhD, developed Kids Write to Read many years ago, and now shares the activities free of charge. According to Janet, “Any child who’s learned to speak can learn to read/write with the same pleasure and ease–if we use Key Words.”

FIND detailed how-to directions at or join Janet’s Facebook Group, Helping ALL KidsWriteToRead   

To Get Started with Write to Read

  • To capture a child’s first Key Word, have them talk about something important to them.
  • Then you write one easy word they’ve used on a sturdy “word card,” and say the names/sounds of the letters,
  • Have the child trace each letter as you say them again.
  • Have them place their word on their “word ring,” (cards on a large key ring)
  • Give them a duplicate of their word card to glue into their writing book and to illustrate. (See examples on website)
  • Once you write a Key Word for the child and they illustrate it, they’ll remember it.
  • Repeat above process until the child has a collection of their own Key Words on a ring. By reading through the words every day, they build confidence with print.
  • The next 6 steps (Illustrated below) lead the child to creating and reading sentences with the Key Words, and others.
kids write to read janet kierstead

Writing is the fail-safe bridge between the child’s speech and reading. 

FIND illustrated directions at Kids Write to Read OR Janet’s Facebook Group Helping ALL KidsWriteToRead   

You’re going to love it! And the children will too!

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

worry less now audiobook gigi Langer

In Worry Less NowGigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques. Amazon 4.8 stars.

Find special offers HERE.


During these Covid19 days, I thought we could all use a few uplifting words about finding connection and peace during life challenges.

So, I decided to try a short video rather than a written blog. I hope you enjoy it.

PS: I just couldn’t resist sending this dear picture! Who is your rescuer?

A 5-Minute Message: Connection and Peace of Mind

So many of you have requested a  workbook, and HERE IT IS!
A 55-page PDF with writing space for every exercise. 
(If you just want the workbook, reply to this email)


CLICK HERE to pay via PayPal or Credit Card
 ($12.75 — free shipping within USA)  

Paperback Book Bulk Order ($10 each plus shipping in US);
send order to (Includes workbook)

WANT TO WRITE AN AMAZON REVIEW of Worry Less Now?  It’s easy with this link (You’ll be prompted to log in to your Amazon account)
worry less now gigi langer

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

THE BUBBLE HOUR Podcast with Jean & Gigi

Jean McCarthy is a sober woman dedicated to breaking down the walls of stigma and denial surrounding the disease of alcoholism.

She created the highly rated “Unpickled” blog, wrote the awesome Unpickled Holiday Survival Guide,” and hosts the popular podcast, The Bubble Hour.

What’s The Bubble Hour??

The Bubble Hour podcast seeks to inform, educate and help people identify with the stories, conversations and interviews with people who are just like they are, so people know they aren’t alone.

A couple of weeks ago, Jean and I recorded a wonderful conversation about her recovery and mine. We talked about our “soft spots,” the whispered lies (stories) underlying our shortcomings, codependency, infidelity, abuse, being a highly sensitive person, depression/anxiety, and the importance of healthy sober buddies.

Listen to our 45 minute chat by clicking HERE

*If you wish to share this link with others, here it is

About The UnPickled Blog

Jean’s very popular blog header states, “How I Secretly Quit My Secret Habit of Secretly Drinking.” She goes on to write, “I am learning to walk without the crutch of alcohol.  I began writing this blog on my first day of sobriety.  Gulp. I drank quietly in private and have managed to quit just as privately. I didn’t stay quiet about it, though. My story is all here. The purpose of this blog is to help make me accountable and, as it turns out, to encourage others along the way.”

According to Jean McCarthy, “Nobody can take the first tentative steps towards sobriety without first getting past denial, but even once they are past denial, the stigma surrounding alcoholism is so strong that people are reluctant to seek help.”

Unpickled is one of the top 15 recovery blogs (rated by “Port of Call.”) with thousands of followers.

Sober Survival Guide for Any Social Occasion

The perfect gift for the summer! Stay sober with family and friends at social events & parties. Buy the survival guide here

Insights and lessons from hundreds of interviews and blog posts about life after alcohol, practical exercises to build your readiness for awkward situations, bonus information for friends and family, and other useful tips.

gigi Langer worry less now

Gigi Langer, 34 years sober, holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford University. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, Gigi has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. A former professor of teacher education at Eastern Michigan University, she lives in Michigan and Florida with her husband, Peter, and Murphy, their cat.

Worry Less Now Cover

Get Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now.” (4.8 Stars on Amazon). Available in audioebookpaperbackClick HERE for FREE workbook & special offers.

  • “This book is a winner.” Karen Casey, Bestselling Hazelden author
  • “Valuable, heartfelt manual.” Publishers Weekly (BookLife)