peace of mind Archives - Page 8 of 10

July 4, 2019July 4, 2019

CLAIM INDEPENDENCE FROM YOUR WORRY-COMMITTEE!

worry less now

[Excerpt from Chapter 1, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now.]

My friends say our worries & fears come from the not-so-helpful “committee in my head.” I call those negative voices “whispered lies.”

For instance, for too many years I believed “If I want to be liked, I must look good.” This whispered lie made me constantly worried about my appearance and behavior.

Here are a few more examples:

• “I’ll never have enough money.”

• “I always sabotage my success.”

• “Relationships just don’t work for me.”

• “We could all be happy if only Dad would stop drinking.”

Although many whispered lies concern ourselves, they often involve institutions, as in “If the government would just change this policy, we’d all be better off.” Other distressing beliefs focus on our children, spouses, friends, or relatives—for instance, the last example about the father’s drinking.

Even though it might be true that Dad ought to stop drinking or the government should make changes, these events have no control over your own happiness.

You can find peace of mind under any circumstance because you’re in charge of what you think about.

Most of our worries are fueled by false stories installed into our minds long ago, just waiting for opportunities to be confirmed. Wayne Dyer wrote that everything our brain “knows” is based on past experiences. Therefore, when an event resembles—even in a small way—an old painful one, our mind interprets the new event according to the long-standing negative belief.

Since most whispered lies live largely in our unconscious, we’re often unaware of them.

To illustrate the power of my own “negative committee’s” lies, consider why I failed at romantic love so many times during my twenties and thirties. I wanted to believe that love was possible for me, but my past had taught me the lie “I’m not worthy of love.”

This belief lived so strongly in my mind that, even when a man loved me deeply, I couldn’t believe it was true. After several months, I would become convinced that he wasn’t fulfilling my needs. These worries made me so demanding that I soon snuffed out all the happiness and joy of new love. When it ended, I’d tell myself, “I just don’t deserve love!” Until I got honest and started healing my faulty thinking, I had no hope of enjoying a happy relationship.

I’m so grateful for the therapy, recovery, psychological strategies, and spiritual tools that gave me freedom from my false beliefs. As a result, I’m a pretty happy camper most days — AND I’ve been happily married for 30 years. So what if Peter’s my 4th husband??? He’s fabulous!

To learn how to win independence from your own committee’s whispered lies, order a personalized SIGNED COPY of my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now here. Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book formats.

Gigi Langer, PhD has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She’s written several books for educators, and is a sought-after speaker and workshop leader. Gigi holds a doctorate in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.

June 7, 2019June 7, 2019

GRIEVANCES BE GONE! Give up judgment to find love and connection

Grievances–grudges, judgment, criticism, resentment, blame, disapproval, or attack—block us from happiness and serenity.

“Well I don’t DO those things,”

You might think this, and you’re probably right. But what about the condemning attitudes living in our minds? Can any of us say we don’t constantly judge others’ words and actions? Of course we do.

It sounds like this: “If I were him, I wouldn’t do that.” “Why can’t she just get along with us? What’s wrong with her?” “They should not be doing that; they’re corrupt.”

The Problem with Grievances

Even though such statements seem true, the problem is that we’re focusing on the negative rather than the positive.

When we choose to hold a grievance, we can’t see the other person’s true self—the purity of their spirit. Further, if we can’t see the goodness in them, we can’t claim it for ourselves. What we send out to others comes back to us; it’s that simple.

Many of us deny our own negativity by numbing ourselves with substances or other unhealthy habits—a dead end to positive growth. Even those trying to be more positive still struggle with inherent dark thoughts. I certainly do.

The good news is that I’ve found so many ways to escape my mind’s tendency to criticize and judge. You can find them in my book, “Worry Less Now,” and in my blog.

How to Overcome A Grievance

Here’s a technique that showed up today as I read Lesson 78, “Let miracles replace all grievances,” from A Course in Miracles. First I was to recall all my negative thoughts about an important person in my life: what that person had done, their “weaknesses,” and other offenses. Then I was to ask spirit to help me see him through the eyes of love—“Let your mind be shown the light in him beyond your grievances.” Then it suggested that I thank this person for prompting my negativity and discomfort so that I could release it and be peaceful and happy.

I just did the exercise as directed. As I chose to focus on the perfection of this person’s spirit rather than the images my mind had conjured, I found a deep peace creep over me. I could hardly remember what I thought was “wrong,” and I felt a loving connection with the person. As a result, I felt the light of spirit growing in myself.

The miracle of replacing fear with love had occurred. Amen.

I would love to hear from you: What gets in the way of your serenity? How do you overcome grievances or grudges?

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.

Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.

May 10, 2019May 12, 2019

A Mystery Quote: “Songs of Plenty and Songs of Want”

a course in miracles

Several years ago, my friend, Mo, dictated into her 1990s tape recorder several selections from A Course in Miracles (ACIM). I’ve spent many hours listening to the 90-minute tape; I even converted it to a CD when cassettes died. Now it lives in my phone’s music app. I love every wise word Mo recorded, and I often thank “Angel Mo” for this dear gift.

At the very end of Mo’s recording is a section called, “The Human Experience.” I’ve always thought it was taken from ACIM, because everything else on the tape was from there. But this beautiful section is NOT in the Course, and I can’t find its source anywhere. CAN YOU? If You’re The First One to Find It, You’ll Get A Free Copy of “Worry Less Now.” Here is part of the section I love so much.

The Human Experience

“So dear are you to me. I see you struggle and let go, struggle and let go again. And that is the dance of life. Seek not to end the dance.

The earthly dance moves from ballroom to ballroom,
from dance floor to dance floor. The cosmic dance moves from era to era. But the dance must continue until all the music has been heard.

You are now hearing different stanzas to the same song. The song is salvation. The verses speak of learning all there is to learn.

All there is to learn includes songs of plenty and songs of want. You learn the dance of prosperity and the dance of scarcity, until you realize that all the dances are the same.

You move to the rhythm, sway to the beat. You pause to start again. You feel the heartbeat of the music until your heart and the beat of the music are one. Then that dance is over.

Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are a child of a loving God who punishes you not.”

Isn’t that beautiful? Although it’s very similar the the Course‘s style, it’s not from there. I hope you can find out where it was published.

What IS a Course in Miracles, Anyway?

You may already know about the Course, perhaps from Marianne Williamson’s best seller, A Return to Love–a wonderful introduction. The three books form a “curriculum” that people study on their own or in a group, thus the reference to a “course.” It’s main purpose (the “miracle”) is to help us align our thoughts and actions with love rather than with fear.
Here is my summary of some of the key ideas presented in ACIM (from Chapter 3 in 50 Ways to Worry Less Now)

• We are spiritual beings living inside a physical body. The confusion of the human experience comes from thinking our body represents the full extent of our being. The true essence of a person, however, is not the body. It is the spirit, also known as the soul, positive power, love, true self, and so on. Most of us seek to connect with a loving source of safety, comfort, and wisdom.

• Fear separates us. When we believe we are merely a physical body, we think there isn’t enough love, attention, or material security to go around. We live in fear as we constantly compete against others to fulfill our human needs. In this survival state, we separate ourselves from one another. The Course and many other teachings refer to this self-centered fear as “the ego,” and consider it the main source of unhappiness. (Note that Freud defined the ego differently—as the decision-making part of the personality.)

• Love connects us. When love (positive power) is our driving force, we trust there is enough of everything we need to be happy and secure. We connect with others in loving care and compassion. We are no longer driven by our fears and we find joy.

To simplify: Fear, judgment, and separation create negativity and worries. Loving connections cure them.

What do you think? Do you agree? What’s your experience with ideas such as these? I’d love to hear from you!

Worry Less Now Cover Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.

January 11, 2019

Experience The Power of Love — Without A Lover!

A mystic sees beyond the illusion of separateness into
the intricate web of life in which all things are expressions of a single Whole. You can call this web God, the Tao, the Great Spirit, the Infinite Mystery, Mother or Father, but it can be known only as love.
—Joan Z. Borysenko, Pocketful of Miracles

I just love this quote from Borysenko’s wonderful daily meditation book! The power of love is priceless!

Too many believe romance is the only source of such love. The truth is, it’s available within you at any time. A few months ago, my dear friend, Janet, wrote this about her epiphany while reading 50 Ways to Worry Less Now. It really made my day!

Janet’s Connection with The Power of Love

“I want you to know the ripple effect your book is capable of creating. On p. 40, “Focusing on Loved Ones,” I focused on my innocent, sweet little puppy, Bella, as she lay on my lap, and I felt the goodness/love she often brings within me. Then I read further, and encountered the sentence, “I wondered if my positive power might feel that same sweet love for me.” This threw open a door inside me, so that I realized I never truly saw myself as Good. I have rationalized to myself that I am good, as I try to do/be good. But I suddenly saw that I didn’t truly believe it. In that instant, I realized both the fact that I AM good and that I had always deep-down, failed to see it. Once I did, I was filled with the joy of seeing myself that way.”

Worry Less Now, Page 40, Chapter 3 “Claim Positive Power”

“Choosing goodness over fear definitely pays off. In the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Barbara Fredrickson and her colleagues confirm that immersing yourself in feelings of love and appreciation lowers depressive symptoms and increases life satisfaction. Try the following simple exercise to experience these benefits.

“Tool 10. Focusing on Loved Ones: Think about the joy you feel when you focus on a person or pet you love . . . not the manic high of romantic love, but one more solid and enduring.

– Bring to mind someone you hold dear and with whom you are at peace, perhaps your child, grandchild, sister, brother, dear friend, or spouse. If you have a four-legged child as I do, it might be your kitty or puppy. If possible, directly observe or look at a picture of your loved one.

– Breathe in and out slowly, feeling love filling your mind and heart as you ponder the one you cherish.

– Continue breathing and directing your attention to the experience of love.

– Your feeling of peaceful joy and appreciation reflects your positive loving power.

“One day as I watched my little gray kitten, Murphy, purring on my lap, I felt so much love for her. I wondered if my positive power might feel that same sweet love for me. It was then I realized that I could invite this love to fill the gaping holes I felt inside me.”

Give it A Try & Let Me Know!

Why not give the exercise a try and feel how lovable you really are? Immersing yourself in the power of love and goodness –as often as you can!–guarantees a happier outlook in 2019! Let me know how it goes; I’d love to hear from you.

GET 20% off Award-Winning 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection. 5-stars on Amazon. Use “20lessnow” code here (Seattle Books). No discount from Amazon. Find e- book links at gigilanger.com.

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Tag: peace of mind