I CAN’T BELIEVE I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Today I was moved to read through my latest book, “Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart.” I had published it last year and had not really done much n terms of marketing it. So, there it sat–neglected!

But this morning I got a nudge (from my True Self) to pick it up and read every page. It took me about 4 hours (without doing any of the reflection questions), and I was amazed to discover how good it is. In fact, I can’t believe I wrote it!

Well, I didn’t really write it–not alone. Although the inspiration and ideas came from my heart and my higher power, I hired two fabulous editors to help make the book logical and interesting. They were expensive, but, looking back, I am so glad I spent those many dollars!

So, I thought I would begin sharing excerpts with you in my blog posts. Here’s a bit that shares how my life launched me on a quest for happiness and joy, in spite of my troubled past.

Your True Self Has Your Back

What is this True Self I’m referring to? It’s the divine you, deep inside, that guides you through the world with love and wisdom. Although this True Self has never left you, it may have been hidden by heart-closing fears, resentments, and self-criticism. Fortunately, you can remove these barriers by opening your heart to Loving Energy, thus revealing the power of your True Self.

It’s not as hard as you might think. In fact, you’ve already experienced many heart-opening moments of your own. It’s just a matter of noticing and cultivating receptivity to them. Here’s a story about one such moment in my life.

Many years ago, my third husband and I took a trip out west. Having realized too late that I had married the wrong man, I was miserable the entire time. My stomach hurt constantly, but when I went to the ER, they found nothing wrong. There was something wrong, alright, but not with my stomach. I just hadn’t been able to face it.

One afternoon late in the trip, we pulled up to a gift shop bordering Jenny Lake in the Grand Tetons. As soon as I entered the shop, I heard a bell-like voice filling the space with song. I just had to know who the singer was! After the shopkeeper told me about Kate Wolf, I immediately bought her tape. From that day on, Kate’s music would accompany me as I journeyed out of a hellish life into one of beauty and peace.

With the sweet music still in my head, I exited the shop, made my way to the shore, and found a rock to perch on. Sitting quietly, I watched as the sunlight grazed the water, reflecting back the white-tipped mountain peaks. The image held my gaze. For one long, beautiful moment, I forgot the turmoil of my strangled dreams and baffling, troubled life.

As I stared, the white peaks beckoned to me, seeming to offer another way of thinking, of looking at the world. New, surprising feelings came to me in a warm, kind voice: Believe! Trust! Your dreams are still possible. The past is over. Begin anew now.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I grappled with this unex- pected invitation. Taking a leap of faith I didn’t know I had, I believed. I trusted. Suddenly, my old feelings of shame, guilt, and hopelessness began to disintegrate.

After that day, I started receiving amazing gifts. First, I found sobriety and a Loving Energy greater than my fears. Then, a therapist helped me overcome the barriers that had been closing my heart: codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing, to name a few. As I continued to grow, I found A Course in Miracles (ACIM), a spiritual text that teaches how to choose Love over fear in every circumstance.

My newest book, Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is only $9.99 –available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE.

Get my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, for only $8.95 at GigiLanger.com/buy (e-book at Amazon)

Thank you for POSTING your REVIEWs on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 38 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Her 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won an Indie Excellence Award in 2019. Gigi worked at Eastern Michigan University for 25 years, and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

March 28, 2024March 28, 2024

Attitudinal Healing #11 and #12: Love is All There Is

Here we talk about LOVE–the 11th and 12th Principles of Attitudinal Healing (AH). “Love is eternal, so there’s no need to fear death.” And, “We can always see ourselves and others as extending Love or calling for help.”

AH is a simplified version of A Course in Miracles, developed by Jerry Jampolsky. In AH groups members apply the principles to almost any difficulty they have. In my recent posts, I summarized the first ten principles:

Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love, and Love is Eternal
Principle 2. Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go of Fear
Principle 3. Giving Is the Same As Receiving
Principle 4. We Can Let Go of The Past And of The Future

Principle 5. Now is the Only Time There Is

Principle 6. We Can Learn to Love Ourselves and Others by Forgiving Rather than Judging

Principle 7. We Can Become Love-Finders Rather than Fault-Finders

Principle 8. We can be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening outside.

Principle 9. We Are Students and Teachers to Each Other

Principle 10: We Can Focus On The Whole Of Life Rather Than The Fragments

Principle 11: Love is eternal, so there’s no need to fear death.

To conceptualize this Principle, we go back to Principle number one, “The essence of our being is love and love is eternal.” If we believe that life is eternal, the fear of death can be removed. When we reaffirm our belief system that the love that is our essence goes on and that we simply enter a new form, we can erase the fear of death. To the extent that we can erase the fear of death, we can truly begin to live fully in the present.

Principle 12. We Can Always Perceive Others as Either Extending Love or as Fearful, Giving a Call for Help

This Principle is an extraordinary tool to be able to use in dealing with relationships. If we can keep this in mind as we interact with others, we will be able to mold our interactions in a more desirable way. When we are in a relationship with another person and it is clear that they are extending their love to us, there is usually never any problem. We can
receive the feeling of love and support and respond with our
love and support. We feel no conflict and things seem to readily get resolved.

If, on the other hand, we feel for whatever reason that we are being attacked, we tend to put up our defenses and either retreat or attack back. The flight or fight response goes into action. It is a conditioned response that we have learned to use to protect ourselves from being hurt. If we can begin to see this person that appears to be attacking us
as a person who is coming from fear, we can begin to see a whole new dimension of the dynamics of the situation.

To develop he use of this Principle, as with all the others, we begin by retraining our minds to focus differently. It again means going inside to take responsibility for our own thoughts and not putting the blame on another person for our own reactions in a moment of stress.

We are responsible for our own peace of mind and not that of another person. If we focus on this principle while listening to another, we might recognize that what appears as an attack is actually an expression of fear and a call for help. When we do this, another dynamic begins to happen.

As we become defenseless in the moment, there is a shift in the energy and “the attacker” will feel it. He or she will not continue on with the same sense of urgency with which they began, because our shift in perception will create a space that will enable a new dynamic to occur. This new dynamic will change the pattern and the quality of our relationships.

Source material: Teach only Love by Jerry Jampolsky and AH Review Principles Booklet

More About Attitudinal Healing

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. Many years ago, I joined my mentor, Jane Stallings, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. There, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased). What a wonderful contribution he has made to the world!

My newest book, Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE.

Get my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, for only $8.95 at GigiLanger.com/buy (e-book at Amazon)

Thank you for POSTING your REVIEWs on Amazon.

November 4, 2022November 1, 2022

WHAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH SPIRITUALITY?

I keep running across people who want to improve their lives, but balk at the idea of any kind of “God” or Higher Power to help them. Although they insist their own will and intellect can solve their problems, they usually end up digging themselves in deeper. So, what’s the deal with spirituality?

Does spirituality really have to come down to a label or a certain kind of “faith?” Why not just admit that we can’t get better without the help of something bigger than our own fears and negative thinking?

In his wonderful book, Spirituality for People Who Hate Spirituality: A Primer, Casey Arrillaga defines spirituality as simply ”a sense of connection to something greater than yourself.”

He wrote his book especially “for people who hate the idea of spirituality but know that ignoring it or pushing it away hasn’t gotten them where they want to be.”

Spirituality Brings HUGE Benefits

Even if it seems hokey, or woo woo, or stupid to you, it’s worth cultivating a spiritual sense. Check out these research findings reported by Arrillaga.

Spirituality leads to longer lifespans, better recovery from illness and surgery, stronger immune response, decreased stress hormones, and lower blood pressure. It also positively affects peoples’ life satisfaction, and how well they balance positive and negative emotions.

Spirituality brings people greater hope and resilience, and helps them avoid loneliness and a sense of isolation. Finally, spiritual people are less prone to depression, suicide, addiction, alcoholism, and anxiety.

But, What Do I Call It?

Wondering what to call this sense of connection to something greater than yourself? Here’s how Casey describes what people in Twelve Step programs do. “Some turn to the religious and spiritual touchstones of their culture or upbringing. Others use ideas such as the universe, nature, the ocean, the energy that flows through all things, the wisdom and guidance of past spiritual masters, the life force and connection of everything on Earth, any deity from any religion, loving kindness, your highest self, the ocean, an unnamed spiritual being or entity, all of nature, all of your ancestors, or the small still voice within.”

“Still others turn to the group of people at the meetings as their higher power, saying that they find the wisdom, guidance, support, and love that they need there.” Finally, “there are those who find they are better off not thinking too hard about it and simply say they have a higher power that is on their side, even if they don’t have it clearly defined.”

You can find Casey Arrillaga’s inspiring and informative book, Spirituality for People Who Hate Spirituality, just published this summer, on Amazon, HERE

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Easter.

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE)

May 28, 2022May 28, 2022

DOES YOUR ATTITUDE NEED HEALING?

attitude healing worry less now gigi langer

This book about healing my attitude appeared at a low point in my life, and I am so grateful it did! Having moved to Michigan after grad school to marry my 3rd husband, I had no access to my favorite drug, marijuana.

Since my husband travelled for work, I started sneaking out to bars to pick up men and get high. Just in time, my grad school mentor, Jane Stallings, sent me this book: Love is Letting Go of Fear, by the founder of the Center for Attitudinal Healing, Gerald Jampolsky, M.D. Filled with shame, I desperately grabbed onto it and began repeating the ideas, hoping that something could restore me to sanity.

To my astonishment, it did! Within a year, I began therapy, and soon entered recovery. I haven’t had a drink or drug for 37 years; and—miracle of miracles— I’ve been happily married to my 4th husband for 33 years! Doing the work to clean up our own negative attitude is totally worth it!

How Does It Work?

Attitudinal Healing provides support groups for people facing issues such as stress, aging, loneliness, divorce, chronic and life-threatening illness, care-giving of loved ones, bereavement, unemployment, or marriage and parenting problems.

The groups support inner growth, and help members adopt new ways to solve problems and relate to others. By applying the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing, one gains new attitudes so they can live in the present moment knowing that, no matter their life circumstances, they can choose to experience either peace or conflict, love or fear.

Principles of Attitudinal Healing

The Principles are not dogma. Spiritual in nature, they are nonsectarian and are offered only as tools for healing one’s attitude. The first Principle is the key: The Essence of Our Being Is Love, as it unites and flows through all the others.

The essence of our being is love.
Health is inner peace. Healing is letting go of fear.
Giving and receiving are the same.
We can let go of the past and of the future.
Now is the only time there is, and each instant is for giving.
We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.
We can become love finders rather than fault finders.
We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening outside.
We are students and teachers to each other.
We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments.
Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful.
We can always perceive ourselves and others as either extending love, or fearful and calling for love.

Where Have We See These ideas?

If you’ve you’re familiar with A Course in Miracles, or Twelve-Step programs, you might recognize some common attitudes or beliefs. for example, the importance of giving as a portal to receiving love. The following ideas might also resonate with your experiences.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Healing and happiness are achieved by letting go of fear.
We grow so we can help others grow.
Letting go of resentments and criticism are keys to happiness.
Peace of mind is merely a choice, independent of external circumstances.
Now is the only moment we have, so we avoid living in the future or past.

In my experience, we come to live these truths through regular spiritual practice with love-based Christianity, Buddhism, or other wisdom traditions. I also attended the Attitudinal Healing Facilitator Training, and gained an even deeper understanding of how to apply the principles to live a worry-free life.

The point is to become a love-based person rather than a fear-based person, to give rather than take, and to care about others rather than criticize them. In short, we learn how to treat others as we wish they would treat us. Pretty simple, aye?

I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! Which of these ideas do you find appealing? Which ones are confusing to you? Just email [email protected] and I will read your thoughts with care & reply.

In my next book (coming out in fall, 2022), I’ll be clarifying many of these ideas and sharing how to apply them to our lives. As writing a new book is such a challenge, I’ll be using many of the ideas stated here to keep a positive attitude. Stay tuned!

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Category: Healthy Mental Habits