Video: How to Stop Your Negative Thinking

Most negative thinking isn’t true. So, why let it trouble us?

SCRIPT FOR VIDEO:   My [negative] thoughts are based on past experiences and future predictions–all of which have been reinterpreted by my brain in a fictional way . . . really! My brain created this scenario in the future, and it hasn’t even happened. My brain created this thing about the past and has “awfulized” it.

So first, don’t trust a thought. You know, espectially when we’re tense, our thinking is whacked. So the first thing: “Oh, Okay; this thought I’m thinking doesn’t have to be the one I stick with.” Okay?

So, then, 4. The decision: I’m gonna change my thinking. So, when I recognize that my thoughts are based on past experiences, just to give you an  example: the Kindle (upload) thing. [I kept failing at it.] I hate failure. You know, I just hate failure

And here’s . . .Underneath each fear and worry is what I call in the book (and it’s a theme throughout) a Whispered Lie: “You’re going to screw up!”  “You’re not going to look good!”  You know. Or it could be a self-statement: “Oh, man! I’ll never be able to figure this out; I hate technology.” You know, all those lovely helpful things we tell ourselves. (Audience laughs)

So, all the techniques in the book are about dissolving those Whispered Lies so that hope, clarity, and good things can come in.

So, the first one we’re going to try is my favorite; it’s called the Golden Key. And it’s the simplest thing. The premise of all of these is that you have control over what your mind dwells on. You absolutely have a choice. And it’s a minute-by-minute (or sometimes a second-by-second) thing.

So, with the Golden Key, I’m gonna make a decision: Every time I have a negative thought or feeling about something (“Oh! I’m uploading that Kindle file tonight; it’s never gonna work!”), I’m going to gently replace it with a positive thought, or a prayer, or an inspiring image.

So, you get to choose what that is. For me, I’m gonna say, “All is well. Everything is in perfect order.” That’s something that works for me. For you it might be the Serenity Prayer, an image of a rose, um, a light . . . anything that connects you with some source of goodness bigger than your fear. Something that you can tell yourself or focus on that’s bigger than the fear. A source of good.

So think of what that might be for you. . . [The Video ends here; participants practice silently switching their thoughts from the negative to their positive phrase or image]

To read about Emmet Fox’s Golden Key technique, click here.

For more tips, buy 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon  It’s been out for 3 weeks and gotten great reviews! I hope it helps you find peace, clarity, and connection as you free yourself from worry and negative thinking.  Best of luck! – Gigi Langer, former “Queen of Worry”

Gigi Langer holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a seasoned author and popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Langer hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, although she occasionally overindulgeS in Ghirardelli chocolate and historical novels. Gigi lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

 

Awakening to My Truth

truth mountains

I wrote this piece about awakening to the shining possibility of a new life.  Since that moment 30 years ago, amazing things have happened!

The clear sunny light streamed across the low-lying water onto the brilliant white Teton-peaks.

It held my gaze; the minutes stretched. I forgot the turmoil of my impacted, baffling life.  It beckoned me to see a new Truth–and to believe in it.

Now, many years later, I know this: I am made of the same shining beautiful Love that I recognized in that glorious mountain-peak.

The world’s false voices, beliefs, and perceptions have fallen into a pile of ash-dust, burned into nothingness by the fire of Love, Truth, Beauty.

And I, you, we, remain as perfectly rendered light … nothing else.

Thank you, God (universe, Goddess, spirit, higher power) for this knowledge.  I hold it closely in a world where the heart beats to the blinding force of fear.

If we are still (or even slightly receptive), we’ll  receive a glimmer of the Truth, shining into our hearts and minds, reassuring us that we are whole and safe in the Beauty of Love.      By Gigi Langer July, 2009

To order Gigi’s new book, click here: 50 Ways to Worry Less Now   “Langer speaks from hard-won experience in her valuable, heartfelt manual on curbing excessive worrying.  Langer’s frank and empathetic tone will comfort readers, as will the practical steps she teaches.” Review by Publishers Weekly (BookLife)

worry , recovery, sanityGigi Langer holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a seasoned author in education and popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, although she does occasionally overindulge in Ghirardelli chocolate and historical novels.

Deneale’s Book Buzz: Great Review & Interview

worry less now

Thanks to Deneale K. for posting her  book review and interview with me at Deneale’s Book Buzz 

Order print or e-book HERE from Amazon

Excerpts from  Review 

“I give this book five beautiful healthy wise stars! Because with this book: you’ll be able to gain peace, clarity and wisdom, and share it with the World! Just as I am sharing it with you now! So, before it’s too late, get your own copy, and start making changes today! And remember: you read it here with me, and I was inspired enough to share it with you, just as you will be inspired enough to share it with others!”

“Don’t even start thinking, “This is just gonna be another self-help book.” Because it isn’t ‘Just another self-help book!’ This book will help you see things that you never even thought about!”

“I am so impressed that I had the privilege to read this book! I will admit, I started off thinking in the negative, but as I read, I was not just enlightened, I was awakened. So much of what I think, do and see, and even feel, is negativity and I have the ability to put a stop to it, not just by walking away, not just by staying away, but by changing the way I think and do things. And this, my friends, is only the beginning.”

When Deneale asked, “What made you decide to write this book and how long did it take you?”  I replied:

“Worry Less Now began as a memoir chronicling my career as a professional horseback rider; three short marriages; and adventures in Spain, Hawaii, Brazil, and Germany (yes, those husbands travelled!). My wise fourth husband (of 30 years) suggested that instead I write a self-help book with ‘all those helpful things you say when you counsel people on the phone.’

“I’ve worked with hundreds of women in recovery because I spent many years using alcohol, drugs, and romance to deal with a lifetime of worry and anxiety. When I stopped drinking 30 years ago, I began applying tools from therapy, recovery pro­grams, scientific research, and a variety of philosophical and spiritual teachings to overcome my negative thinking, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, addictions, chronic pain, and worry about loved ones.”

“I wrote Worry Less Now to share these tools with people who might benefit from them. I used parts of my own story to illustrate how I discovered the tools and how they helped me become happy and at peace. The book is very practical with four life strategies, 50 concrete tools, and step-by-step exercises.”

“It took 3 ½ years to write the first draft; then I sent it to advance readers and a developmental editor (Nina Amir) who suggested revisions. I took a year off to co-author an education book for Sage Publishing, and got back to “Worry Less Now” in 2015. I revised it two more times using feedback from two more groups of advance readers. Then I spent most of 2017 with editors, typographers, book cover designers, and proofreaders.”

The book’s official release date is February 22, 2018. It was a lot of work, but I love the result and I hope it helps many people overcome their worries so they too can face their challenges with calm wisdom and courage.

Order print or e-book HERE from Amazon

Worry Less Now book

Gigi holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford University. As a professor, she won several awards for her teaching, and (as Georgea M. Langer) wrote books and articles for educators. Through speeches, retreats, and workshops, she helps thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work.  Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, although she does occasionally overindulge in Ghirardelli chocolate and historical novels. She lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and cat, Murphy.

 

To Worry Less Now, Choose Love Over Fear

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Fear, Worry Less Now, Gigi Langer, Overcome Negative ThinkingWhen I first entered therapy, I saw myself shrunken and powerless in the corner of a dark room filled with scary plastic objects. As time went on, that image changed. It was as if a bright light entered the room and dissolved all those fear-filled dark objects.

I believe that most of our worries, resentments, and pain are merely illusions, or as I call them, “Whispered Lies.” Fear jumps into the driver’s seat of our minds and starts projecting all kinds of problems to be solved. Mark Twain said it this way, “My life is a series of calamities, most of which never happened.”

Just take a moment and observe the content of your thoughts and how they resonate in your body. If you’re anything like me, it quickly becomes clear that we’re scaring the shit out of ourselves. And, just in case we need a little help, there’s always TV and its multitude of disasters (the past, present, and predicted).

It’s no wonder that so many of us live in a constant state of anxiety and tension. The modern term, which I might call a euphemism, is “stress.” This state is so universal, that, if you stopped 20 people on the street, most of them would say they wanted to have less fear and worry in their lives. And, if you really want to be disturbed, read about how stress and worry harm our health.

A Course in Miracles (and many other wisdom traditions) teach us that we can be in only two states of mind: fear or love. When we align ourselves with love, we’re at peace and feel at-one with God (universe, positive power) and with all others.  When we’re in fear, however, we close our hearts to others.

Because our bodies are hard-wired to compete for what we see as a limited amount of love, money, and otherworldly goodies, fear is our default setting. But we don’t have to become a victim of our worries and negative thinking. It’s what we do next that matters: Do we seek a different way of seeing our troublesome situations?

It’s a simple choice, but it takes vigilance and practice. Just notice what you’re thinking about and, if it is making you tense, admit that to yourself. Then, gently turn your thoughts to something that gives you joy and peace. It might be a scene of nature,  a prayer, or an affirmation. Then keep an eye out for when you revert to the “worry and fear channel.” Again, just notice what you’re thinking about and change it to something more positive or inspiring.

Emmet Fox gives directions for the “Golden Key” here. He wrote that when you consistently turn your thoughts away from fear and toward a source of positive power, whatever was bothering you before will be resolved. Try it, you’ll like it!

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi Langer is a former “queen of worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of  50 Ways to Worry Less Now! Coming out in February 2018, the new book contains 50 powerful tips to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, and be happy. Gigi has a PhD from Stanford University.