14 WAYS TO FIX YOUR BAD MOOD

worry less now gigi langerGOT A  (*?!@&)  ATTITUDE?      At this time of shorter days, low-pressure fronts, and colder temps, it’s  all too easy to get caught up in negativity. Even though I just wrote a book about worrying less, it doesn’t mean I’m never in a bad mood. It just means I have effective tools to change it.

Here I share a few of my favorite ones.

Recently I’ve been upset by some not-so-gently-delivered criticism, a loved-one’s illness, and a bad reaction to some medicine. When such things appear to “go wrong,” my ego claims, “This shouldn’t be happening!! Let’s figure out how to change it!” Then the overthinking begins — and peace is lost. It might take a while to admit that I’m focusing only on what I don’t like. But eventually, I realize that I need to do something to restore my peace of mind.

In this case, I did a guided meditation, made a gratitude list, and took a short walk. My bad mood vanished! Here are more of my favorite ways to turn around a negative attitude.

14 Ways to Fix a Bad Mood

1. Check to be sure you’ve eaten well and rested well. If you haven’t, take better care of yourself. Avoid over-work, over eating, over-drinking, and drugs.

2. List five things you’re grateful for.  Do this every day without repeating any item.

3. Meditate and/or pray. Use the free app, Insight Timer or other tools. Do this every day for at least ten minutes.

4. Exercise, walk, or do yoga. These activities are proven to increase positive brain chemicals and feelings.

5. Do something nice for someone. Smile at a stranger, compliment a server, or send a friend a loving note.

6. Listen to uplifting music or podcasts/radio; read inspiring books or blogs; or watch a positive movie (I loved “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” about Mr Rogers).

7. Talk with a healthy, supportive friend who has a positive attitude toward the world.

8. Give yourself permission to turn off negative TV or radio broadcasts. Also avoid extended time with negative people.

9. Avoid gossip and look for the strengths, rather than the faults, in the people around you.

10. Stop using the words “should” and “ought.” Cultivate the habit of humility—admit that you don’t know everything and just let some mysteries be.

11. Imagine that someone you love is feeling the way you are. Then say to yourself what you would say to comfort that person. (Self compassion: See Kristin Neff).

12. Know that your thoughts and feelings do not define who you are; that you have a choice about what fills your mind. Slowly breathe in goodness and breathe out negativity. Keep doing this until your body and mind calm down.

13. Write down your thoughts and feelings and see which ones are really true. Are they permanent? Is there another way to look at the things that bother you? Circle the ones you know are untrue and turn them around (to learn how, see “The Work” by Byron Katie)

14. When in a conflict, WAIT a day or two before acting. Use the techniques here to calm down and find peace. Do not try to change minds or resolve conflicts through any electronic means. Face-to-face communication is best for relationships you value (yes, it takes courage to listen and share).

I’m so grateful that, once I decide to fix my bad mood, I have the tools to do so. And they work!  Ahhhh . . . I feel such peace!

worry less nowGigi Langer is the former “Queen of Worry” who  holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, and lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

For specific tools to overcome negativity and worry, check out my award-winning book 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.” 

CAN A CLOSED HEART CONNECT WITH OTHER HEARTS?

ONE-HEARTEDNESS
by Gigi Langer WorryLessNow

Do you have an open heart or is it closed? How can you open your heart to connecting with others?  

I recorded this 2-minute audio right after an energy-healing Reiki session with Kelly Hine. (That’s why I sound a bit dreamy & dazed at the beginning–that energy stuff is powerful medicine!!)  But, before sharing the audio, I have to sing Kelly Hine’s praises. 

Kelly Hine’s Soul Space 

I’ve had many helpful teachers and guides over the past 30 years, but I have to say, Kelly Hine is the best. She is natural, calm, clear, loving, eclectic, and a gifted teacher of personal growth. To see her in action, check out her FB group, “Soulful Women with Kelly Hine” or her free video series.

But, my favorite way to learn from Kelly is through her Soul Space women’s group where Kelly offers beautiful and inspiring weekly videos with a short talk and a deep guided meditation. Members have access to all of Kelly’s prior videos and meditations; and when you ask a question, Kelly often posts a short video-answer. It’s totally worth the small monthly fee. Soul Space registration is open only UNTIL OCT. 23 here.

My 2-Minute Audio about Open-Hearts and Heart-Connections

Listen here (www.lookwide.com/audiopost/n7yN3XOoDL ) to my “Lookwide”  audio; OR, if you prefer, read my words below.

“I just had an ‘ah ha’ about heart-connectedness. For years I’ve been reading about the importance of having an open heart, as opposed to a closed, judging heart.  And I’ve known through A Course in Miracles that it’s important to connect with one another rather than separate. And that joining together brings peace.

“So, I just did a Reiki session electronically with Kelly Hine, and her main teaching is about connecting with the heart center–‘heart-centered awareness.’

“So she asked us to set an intention, and I set mine that ‘I receive the guidance through my heart connections, the guidance to  know how to reach the people who might benefit from the words I say and write–especially in relation to overcoming negative thinking and worrying less now, as expressed in my book.’

“So, as I meditated, I had this image of the hearts being separated, and then all our hearts joining into one–combined in one all-encompassing heart of love. And that is what I’m going to put down in a picture . . .”  (Audio stops here: 2 minutes are the limit for “Lookwide.”)

An Open Heart vs. A Closed Heart

After I recorded this, I went to my computer, logged into Canva, and created the graphic. But, looking at it now, I think I might’ve missed something important: Those hearts that appear separated might have rigid isolating borders or permeable, open ones.

A closed heart becomes an open heart as we connect with a source of positive energy that unites us all. And, as we live from that energy, we find ourselves offering love to and receiving love from strangers, friends, and family.  (Of course, I’m referring to healthy loving acts, not those lacking boundaries or with a selfish agenda.)

As our open hearts embrace our power, courage, and kindness, we find ourselves connecting with the loving hearts of others–joined in loving oneness. Through these open-hearted connections, we’re empowered to pursue our dreams and resolve our troubling situations in the most amazing ways.

How Do We Cultivate An Open Heart?

Moving from a closed to an open heart requires desire and commitment. We need to get honest about our state of mind and actions; claim the power of transformation that’s available to each of us; choose to change our lives for the better, and use growth practices such as meditation, prayer, mindfulness, healing the past, therapy, and energy work.

It also helps to join with positive growth-oriented people, and to avoid gossip and other negative energy-sapping activities like excessive partying, over eating, too much shopping, or workaholism.

Find out more about these and other ways to overcome negativity in my other blog posts and in my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.

What’s your hunch about this? How do we grow from separation and judgment into loving beings, authentically connected with others?

PS: “Lookwide” is a relatively new app that’s like an audio version of Twitter: the maximum recording is TWO minutes. Clever!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! (20% discount offer below). Also available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

 

 

 

Facebook Friends: An Author’s Treasure

facebook worry less nowI’m currently in the Facebook penalty box. Have been for almost a week. It’s the second time this month. And, guess what?!  I’m miserable because I miss connecting with my Facebook friends.

I’m the last person I ever thought would become enamored of an electronic “friendship” site.

Up until a year ago, I had used Facebook solely to connect with people I already knew. Now I spend hours every day communicating with many hundreds of like-minded people. And I love it!

Why such a change? As many of you know, eight months ago I published a self-help book to help others overcome negative thinking. It has received positive reviews and won an Indie Excellence award. But, that’s not enough to guarantee sales. A year ago, I began to learn about websites, social media, and other ways to reach people who might buy the book.

Since several marketing blogs suggested making LOTS of Facebook friends, I used my personal account to join about 15 Facebook groups related to recovery, positive thinking, mental health, and spirituality. Whenever I wrote a blog entry, I posted it in these groups. If someone commented or liked it, I sent them a friend request. After a while, I invited them to like my Gigi Langer Author page. And, voila! Suddenly, I had a few thousand friends and followers.

Here’s my big surprise: My Facebook feed, although full of strangers, became a constant stream of loving, positive, caring messages. No more political rants or disparaging remarks.

It was wonderful. But then it wasn’t.

A couple of weeks ago,  I had apparently issued too many friend invitations, so I was shut out for three days. Then this week, they gave me another time-out for posting in too many FB groups in one day. UGH!

So, why am I suffering? Because, I miss my digital friends! After one year, I find I truly care about so many of them. We pray for one another, send encouraging notes, and celebrate our victories during life’s ups and downs. We’ve shared some surprisingly honest, inspiring exchanges.

I had no idea that we could connect at the heart-level through this much-maligned medium. 

Apparently, Mr. Rogers knew it all along; he used TV to do the same thing. According to the recent movie “Won’t You Be My Neighbor,” he often asked his TV audience to spend an entire minute silently thinking about people who had helped them in any way at all—a teacher, friend, grocer, server, relative, mentor, and so on. As the second-hand moves, each of us feels our heart expanding. Soon, we’re immersed in loving connection with others. By the end, everyone’s smiling.

That’s the same way I feel about many of my Facebook friends — connected at the heart. Thank you, Facebook!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites. Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.

 

Why “Figuring It Out” Drains Our Energy

Whenever I’ve had a really busy, full day, I find myself without enthusiasm for “getting things done” the next day. Case in point:  last weekend I entertained on Friday, and then rested all day Saturday (I read a novel–lovely!). And even after resting, I have to say, getting back to work was a bit of a struggle. I was baffled.

Trying to Figure It Out
Often my first defense against something I don’t like is to try to figure it out. In this case, I kept wondering why I was feeling this way. Okay, it’s true, I am getting older. And marketing a book with FB conversations, weekly blog posts, monthly newsletters, ads, podcast interviews, and workshops makes for a pretty busy life. My husband’s ongoing back pain also weighs on my mind. And, I’m on a new medication. So, there’s that (-:

“Why?” Is Not A Spiritual Question
Recently I heard someone say that “Why?” is not a spiritual question. That caught my attention: perhaps my “figuring it out” is just “playing God”–trying to control things I have no control over. In a word, it’s worrying–something I know a LOT about!

So, when I notice my disturbed state of mind, I pick myself up like a hurting little child and give myself some loving care. This usually involves more meetings with loving friends, meditation, fun times with my husband, prayer, exercise, and rest—yes, rest (in spite of the committee in my head telling me I have so much to get done). As I use these tools and wait, often I get just the direction I need.

Meditation to The Rescue!
This summer, I ran into a FB video about overcoming worry by Kelly Hine. I was curious to hear what she said ; I had just written a book about it, after all. So, I did what I rarely do: put in my headphones and clicked on her video.

Kelly is beautiful inside and out; you can just feel it in her presence and words. As an Aussie, her accent is lovely; but it’s her talks and meditations on “heart-centered awareness” that have helped me through this challenging summer.

I felt so drawn to Kelly’s energy that I immediately subscribed to her Soul Space group (www.bodyandsoulretreats.com/gl2202) for a mere $20 a month. Some of you know how tight I am with money, so I must have had a really strong nudge from my gut—yes, my heart-center–to do this. One of the best decisions I’ve made!

I get free access to all of Kelly’s prior videos, talks, and meditations along with her weekly videos and monthly Sunday live mini-retreats. Also, I can pitch her a question at any time, and she’ll post a short little video about it. Amazing! Although I’m tempted, I’m not quite ready to pop for one of her Bali retreats– yes, you read that right: on the South Pacific island of Bali!!

Connecting with Energy 
Today I selected Kelly’s meditation about connecting with an unlimited source of energy. After each 20-30 minute session, Kelly asks us to write in our journal, as at that point we’re very receptive to messages from our heart-center. I wrote, “I have sufficient energy to accomplish all that God leads me to do.”

Well, that sure takes the pressure off! No more trying to figure out how to get more energy so I can accomplish all those oh-so-important things on my “to-do list” (and, yes, it’s pretty darn long!).

Suddenly, I could feel myself let go and trust the universe again. I knew that all is well, regardless of how things look on the outside. That everything is in perfect order. That I have access to unerring direction in my mind and actions. And, for the rest of the week that’s been true. Ahhh . . .Relief!

Your Ideas, Please: What are your favorite ways to connect with your own source of power and energy? I’d love to hear them. Please share your ideas in the Comments. Thanks!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she has published several books for teachers and school administrators.