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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

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Tag: peace of mind

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HOW TO CALM YOUR OVERACTIVE MIND

I have a tendency to overthink things. You might too.

Your mind takes off and starts imagining the worst things that could happen in the future, or you find yourself looking back at the recent past and regretting your words or actions. Even worse is when we get caught up in judging and resenting the actions of an important person in our lives. 

Here are a few tools I use to anchor my mind in the present moment rather than in the future or past. 

 THE 5,4,3,2,1 TECHNIQUE  (Full blog post:  https://GigiLanger.com/anxiety-attack/)

Take a few slow belly-inflating breathes and remind yourself that your body is right here right now, and you can choose to focus your mind on the present moment rather than on the future or past. .

1. Name 5 things you can see around you (Examples: rug, painting)

2 . Name 4 things you can feel (feet on the floor, cool air on the skin)

3 . Name 3 things you can hear right now (a fan running, people’s voices outside)

4. Name 2 things you can smell right now (perfumed soap)

5. Name 1 good thing about yourself (“I am strong,” “I can help myself through this.”)

If you simply can’t focus, or if your body and mind haven’t yet settled down, take a few more belly-inflating breaths, and tell yourself that you can focus your thoughts on the present moment. Then do the exercise again.

It may take several minutes of repetition before your mind settles down.

According to independent.co.uk, “the trick, which relies on sensory awareness, is rooted in mindfulness – and apart from anxiety, it can help treat depression, addiction disorders, lower blood pressure, and relieve stress” (Harvard University Helpguide.org)

MINDFULNESS TRAINING 

It really helped me to take the “Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction” (MBSR) 8-week course. It uses breathing and simple stretches to keep your mind on your body, and its research studies show impressive results (Jon Kabat-Zinn and colleagues from  University of Massachusetts Medical Center). More info here: Mindfulness-based stress reduction – Wikipedia   Really effective.

MIND REFOCUSING 
I often catch my mind worrying about the future, and when I notice this I substitute a quick little phrase to anchor me back into the now: “All is well right now.” or, “Help me to see this differently.” Also repeating a short prayer like the Serenity Prayer helps a lot.

The idea is to substitute a “right now” thought or sensation for our worries, fears, and stressful thoughts.

NOTE: In my experience, I often need to make the switch several times an hour (sometimes many times a minute!)

It will take consistent practice to retrain your mind to stay in the present. Keep at it and your life and health will improve.

Gigi Langer, a person in recovery, holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology from Stanford University. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, Gigi has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She lives in Michigan with her husband and Murphy, her cat.

Get Gigi’s new book, “50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking” is available in audio, e-book, and paperback (5 Stars on Amazon). Click HERE

“Valuable, heartfelt manual.” — Publishers Weekly (BookLife)

“This book is a winner.” -Karen Casey, Hazelden author
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BE THE LIGHT, Even When It’s Really Hard to Do!

Be The Light

“Be the Light: Feel the spirituality inside you and shine it on others.”

Recently I gave an open talk (about my alcoholism) for a large group of women, and I’m so grateful that RecoveredCast.com posted it on their site. You can find it by clicking here — Or copy this link: https://recoveredcast.com/uncategorized/gigi-open-talk-recovered-1044/

After listening to the recording, a woman in recovery sent me this wonderful message describing how consciously choosing to be a shining light helps her–and others–through many troubling situations. Here’s what she wrote:

“I love how in your open talk you refer to spirituality as ‘a light. A light inside us. A light for others to see.’ ♥️

 “I was so excited to be able to pass a drug test, and get a real job, benefits, good pay. But then the place turned out to be very toxic. Gossip, fighting, and plenty of non-recovering alcoholics. I became sucked in very quickly. 

“I was fairly new to recovery and hadn’t learned many tools. I would sit out in my car every morning and pray to go in there and ‘Be the Light.’ To shine bright and help the hurting souls in there. I prayed for God’s will and the strength to not get sucked into the drama. 

“Afterward, I would go to meetings and share my ‘pep talk’ about ‘Being the Light.’ How it was helping me at work, reminding me to be the change. To spread compassion and love to those who are still sick. How I had to remind myself over and over. For example, I would be in the middle of the bickering, and I’d whisper under my breath, ‘Be the light. Be the light.’ Then I’d put up my boundaries and walk away.

“Next thing you know, other people in the program were talking about it. How they would find themselves in situations and would pray for the light. The light to rise above. For the light inside themselves to shine bright. 

“What a gift to be heard and, in return, to help others. Feeling the spirituality inside us. Shining it on others. Helping others, which then helps ourselves. Such a gift!”

Isn’t that absolutely beautiful? Let’s all try to “be the light” for the people and situations around us. I would LOVE to hear how you have used this idea in your own life. Thanks!

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer, PhD.  Many years ago, I used alcohol, romance, and professional accomplishments to soothe my frayed nerves. Over time, I discovered effective tools from therapy, recovery pro­grams, scientific research, and a variety of philosophical and spiritual teachings. I share those techniques in my blog and book so you can find peace of mind and wisdom, no matter what is bothering you.

Worry Less Now Cover

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how I and others have defeated the faulty thinking leading to dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, addiction, and worry about loved ones. Gain practical strategies, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (50 reviews) (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

REVIEWS:  Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.” Anonymous Reader: “Your Book certainly transformed my life!  All I can say is, THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER” 

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LETTING GO OF URGENCY

I often hear a whispered lie telling me “Gotta go faster!” or “It’s going to horrible if I can’t get this done.”

Such urgent thoughts scare the wits out of me—and they’re NOT TRUE.

To re-calibrate my exaggerated self-talk, I breathe, meditate, pray, and use other tools to connect with my true self/higher power. And then, voila! Those things that just “had” to be done are effortless and in perfect order. Whew! Relief!

I love this reading about urgency from Melody Beattie, The Language Of Letting Go.

“One thing at a time. That’s all we have to do. Not two things at once, but one thing done in peace.

“One task at a time. One feeling at a time. One day at a time. One problem at a time. One step at a time. One pleasure at a time.

“Relax. Let go of urgency. Begin calmly now. Take one thing at a time.

“See how everything works out?

“Today, I will peacefully approach one thing at a time. When in doubt, I will take first things first.

Great advice, aye? I think I’ll follow it by letting go of my urgency!

Gigi Langer holds a PhD from Stanford University in Psychological Studies in Education. She’s an award-winning teacher and writer with 33 years clean and sober. Her new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won the National Indie Excellence Award and rates 4.7 stars on Amazon. The AUDIOBOOK is due in mid-September 2019 (Audible, Amazon, i-tunes)

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7 Tips to Stop the Nasty Voice in Your Head

Do you have a voice in your head that incessantly whispers lies of impending doom or replays past events in the hope of changing them?

It might sound like this: “I always…(fail, am rejected, sabotage my success)” OR “If only he or she would (fill in the blank), we would all be okay.“

Although I used to hear this voice often, over the years I’ve learned to turn such negative thoughts into positive ones. Here are a few tips that might help you do the same.

  1. Notice how the voice in your head causes tension in your body and perhaps emotions of anger, pain, frustration, envy, or a need for security, recognition or love.
  2. Stand apart from the thoughts and feelings, as if you’re on a balcony observing them. Do NOT condemn them.
  3. Breathe slowly and deeply until your body calms down. Withdraw your attention from your worrying and focus on your breathing.
  4. Recognize who is watching the thoughts. It’s a part of your mind independent of your thoughts and emotions. This is your true self (higher self, God-mind, etc). It is greater, stronger, and wiser than the imagined disturbances.
  5. Make a choice: Do you want to stay in the drama of the fear-filled voices in your head, or do you want to experience peace and happiness?
  6. Write your mind’s false messages in a journal. Notice that many of them predict one of two horrible things: 1) past pain will repeat itself, or 2) the future will be disastrous. KNOW THAT NONE OF THESE IS TRUE.
  7. Dissolve your mind’s lies by using meditation, affirmations, prayer, therapy, yoga, inspirational reading, groups, energy work, or any other method to connect with the goodness and light of your true self.

As you refuse to believe the fearful voice in your head, sooner or later the answers to your troubles will appear in the most amazing way and for the best of all involved.

HOW DO YOU CALM YOUR OWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS? I’d love to hear from you!

GIGI LANGER is the former “Queen of Worry” whose award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, rates 4.7 stars on Amazon. She holds a PhD from Stanford University in Psychology in Education.

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