Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

SPIRITUAL GROWTH: ONLY THE RESULTS ARE VISIBLE!

a course in miracles

I just had an ah-ha moment while reading this in A Course in Miracles (ACIM): “Learning is invisible, and what has been learned can be recognized only by its results.”

Why did this strike me as so significant? I used to think doing God’s will required visible effort that resulted in some abstract enlightenment or bliss.

Now I see that perhaps we best follow God’s will by first seeking invisible learning, and then witnessing the amazing visible results. To paraphrase ACIM, God’s presence can become compellingly real to us as it becomes manifest through our healed, loving behavior.

12 Steps to Learning and Results

The 12 Steps illustrate this process beautifully, as they teach us that a higher power can do for us what we can’t do for ourselves.

Steps 1-3 (admitting powerlessness, gaining strength through a higher power). As we learn about our personal powerlessness and a force greater than ourselves, we notice surprisingly visible changes in our lives:  we’re enjoying meetings; we’re seeking out healthy, sober mentors and friends; and most important, we aren’t practicing our addictive habits (drinking, using, codependency, gambling, overeating, etc.).

Steps 4-9 (taking a moral inventory, addressing character defects, and making amends). As we learn to take responsibility for our self-centered fears, motives, and actions, we magically begin to act more generously towards ourselves and others. In short, our invisible internal changes precede our visible outer changes.

Learning Requires Action

Does this mean that we don’t take actions to foster our learning and internal growth? No! In 12-step programs, we choose to go to meetings, read the literature about our disease, and meet with a sponsor to take the steps. Our willingness to make these choices is a gift of grace.

Through these actions we begin to learn—to change inside. And those changes manifest through visible results. One might say that this quiet, spiritual learning shows up “in living color.”

Talk to anyone who’s been following the 12-step path, and you’ll find they’ve gained not only freedom from their addiction; they also have the families of their dreams, amazing jobs, peace of mind, and an enjoyment of life. In my case, after three divorces I’ve been happily married for 31 years, plus I’ve published an award-winning book. Amazing!

But what about the hard times? Even when the shit hits the fan, our spiritual learning makes us more resilient; we bounce back, better than ever. For example, we can deal with the painful effects of death, illness, job loss, divorce, and money troubles with the support of a higher power and the friends who stream loving care into our lives.

We Don’t Learn Alone

But there is one catch to spiritual learning:  we can’t do it alone. We need teachers, guides, and buddies to visibly demonstrate a new way of being. Their example motivates us to learn what we need to get the same amazing results.

The step 11 Prayer of St. Francis best expresses this new life. We sow love instead of hatred, pardon instead of injury, faith instead of doubt, hope instead of despair, light instead of darkness, and joy instead of sadness; we seek to console rather than be consoled, to understand rather than to be understood—and most important of all—to love rather than to be loved.

Finally, step 12 teaches us to give it away; to foster others’ learning so they may also manifest the miracles of recovery. As we know, what we give returns it to us ten-fold.  

Worry Less Now Cover

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

WHY STOP USING ALCOHOL?

LOVE LETTER TO SOBER CURIOUS WORRY LESS NOW GIGI LANGER

By the time I was 36, I lived in a self-created jail of fear and worry. I was more miserable than I’d ever been. Little did I know that I suffered from a subtle case of un-diagnosed alcoholism.

The First Crack in My Denial

Of course I was in denial; aren’t we all until we’re forced to face the problem?

But denial, when held onto for too long, can keep us from facing up to and taking responsibility for our problems.

Jane Stallings, my mentor and employer in grad school, was the first to break through my denial. At the time, I was living with John, one of several men I had either married or lived with during the past 15 years. We met almost every night at a bar, drink a few beers, and then went home, got high, and made love to the sounds of Mozart or Sibelius.

This seemed like normal behavior to me, but not to Jane. She would often phone me in the evening about some work detail and find me less than coherent. She had also witnessed my bawdy behavior as John and I drank heavily at one of her dinner parties.

A few weeks after that party, Jane gently said, “You are such a talented woman and yet there’s a piece in there that’s just . . . I don’t know, just not quite . . . ” I can’t recall her next words, but here’s what I heard: “There’s a part of you that’s broken, and it shows.”

Jane’s comment that day pierced my illusion that attracting men, earning good grades, and being well liked were hiding my problems. But I wasn’t yet ready to give up the fight.

Not Ready Yet

Later, Jane introduced me to Don, who would become my third husband. We fell in love quickly, and I moved to his home in Michigan to complete my dissertation. From the very beginning, I tried to act exactly how I felt he wanted me to–no over-drinking or pot.

After a year of living in this emotional pressure cooker, I’d had enough. I walked into my favorite tavern and chose a seat. Shafts of sunlight pierced the blinds the same way they had at my regular bar at Stanford. When a couple of guys in business suits sat near me, our small talk soon escalated into flirtation.

 I called home and told Don I was out with some of my students. Then I left with the guy I’d picked up. We went to buy cocaine, drove to his home, and had sex. Only through good fortune did I make it home safely at 2:00 a.m. I told my husband more lies the next morning to cover up my misadventures.

The Final Straw

At that point, I admitted that something was seriously wrong, and sought therapy. When the counselor said I was in the early stages of alcoholism, I foolishly thought with relief, “That’s not too bad.” He then suggested I have two drinks, no more and no less, each day, and take note of my behavior.

After a few months, I realized that sometimes I could stop after two drinks; but on other occasions, I would continue drinking, find drugs or go home with a stranger, and cover up my actions with lies.

When I honestly admitted that after just one drink or drug, I couldn’t predict what I would do, I accepted that I needed to stop drinking.

I walked into my first Twelve-Step meeting one month before my thirty-eighth birthday. Ever since, I’ve been clean and sober through the  support of several healthy recovering women. And my dream of being happily married has come true; my fourth husband and I recently celebrated our 30th anniversary!

Your Honesty

Trust me, if you’re life isn’t working, if your relationships are awful, if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, if you’re a perfectionist, chances are that alcohol has been promising you relief while robbing you of an honest, happy life.

Don’t let denial get in the way. Take a long look in the mirror. You’re the only one who can do something about it.

In 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

Introducing My Author Buddy, Harriet Hunter

Harriet Hunter (Beth H.) is one of my favorite people! About two years ago, we met in a Facebook group for non-fiction authors, and we connected immediately. Since each of our books was about leading a peaceful, addiction-free life, we shared a tent at the 2019 Venice FL book fair. That’s where we were in this pic!

Here’s how my zany, creative, and big-hearted friend, Beth, describes her mission: “Using practical tools, principles and promises, I show others what continues to work for me, and how anyone can be free from the bondage of self, regardless of their situation. Employing a change of perception through the 12 Steps, the fellowship, and the village that is recovery is what propels us.” You’ll want to tune in to Harriet’s wise words in these ways:

PODCAST: Sundays 2 P.M. EST, “Miracles of Recovery

Join the weekly podcast hosted by Harriet. Click HERE or copy & paste this url: https://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/view?meeting_id=325 

BOOK: Miracles of Recovery: Daily Meditations of Hope, Courage, and Faith

Miracles is for everyone: for those still in active recovery, sitting on the fence, contemplating whether to jump in or run. It is for the old-timer, and for the family and friends of alcoholics who, just like me, have suffered their own personal and agonizing hell because of our destructive activities, and who now find that they, too, are alone and lonely.”

Special offer now on Harriet’s award-winning daily meditations ($15 includes paperback + free e-book/PDF)  Buy it HERE

ARTICLE  “Turning Desperation and Fear into Miracles”

“As an alcoholic/addict still in so much pain from the loss of my family, I felt more alone than I had ever been. Each day, driving through eight states with prominent mountains and magnificent lakes, I wrote, and I cried. And through the pain, gratitude was born.” Read about Harriet’s journey from tragedy to hope as “Miracles of Recovery” came to be,  Read it HERE

miracles of recovery harriet hunter

Follow Harriet E. Hunter at  http://www.HarrietHunter.org
FB at Harriet Hunter, author; Linked-In and Twitter @Elizza6 email: harriet@harriethunter.org

Buy “Miracles of Recovery” HERE ($15 includes paperback + free e-book/PDF) 

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

Worry Less Now Cover

In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques. Amazon 4.8 stars. Find special offers HERE.

Meet My Buddy, Harriet Hunter

Harriet Hunter and I met online through a FaceBook group for writers. We hit it off immediately and began to exchange e-mails and encourage one another.

You see, we were each about to launch our books. And we couldn’t stand the excitement! I offered to do an advance review of “Miracles of Recovery,” and my glowing words now appear on the back cover!

This book is a wonderful gift for anyone in recovery.

I read it every day.

If you’d like a sample, listen to the recording below as Harriet Hunter reads “The Gift of Faith.”

I know you’ll love her infectious enthusiasm for life.

To get more wonderful blogs and daily recordings, go to HarrietHunter.org and sign up!

https://soundcloud.com/harriet-hunter-826173182/october-14-practicing-faith?fbclid=IwAR1UyGuUzmkZE5G_8NE9WXNilAEAgKJx9ZQEYUsdAlsLxa0lmzMRJsBeywY

One day, Harriet emailed me about a book fair she was attending about three hours from me. We decided to share a table to showcase our books. We had never met face-to-face until that weekend, and we became fast friends immediately!

Get to know Harriet through her wonderful website, HarrietHunter.org She’s a star!