gratitude Archives - GIGI LANGER

July 2, 2020July 2, 2020

CELEBRATE INDEPENDENCE FROM NEGATIVITY!

My friends say our worries & fears come from the not-so-helpful “committee in my head.” I call those negative voices “whispered lies.”

For instance, for too many years I believed “If I want to be liked, I must look good.” This whispered lie made me constantly worried about my appearance and behavior.

A few more examples include:

“I’ll never have enough money.”
“I always sabotage my success.”
“Relationships just don’t work for me.”
“We could all be happy if only Dad would stop drinking.”

Although many of our whispered lies concern ourselves, they often focus on our children, spouses, friends, or relatives—for instance, the last example about the father’s drinking.

Other distressing beliefs involve institutions, as in “If the government would just change this policy, we’d all be better off.”

Even though it might be true that Dad ought to stop drinking or the government should make changes, these events have no control over your own happiness.

You can find peace of mind under any circumstance because you’re in charge of what you think about.

Most of our worries are fueled by false stories installed into our minds long ago, just waiting for opportunities to be confirmed.

Wayne Dyer wrote that everything our brain “knows” is based on past experiences. Therefore, when an event resembles—even in a small way—an old painful one, our mind interprets the new event according to the long-standing negative belief.

Since most whispered lies live largely in our subconscious, we’re often unaware of them.

To illustrate the power of my own “negative committee’s” lies, consider why I failed at romantic love so many times during my twenties and thirties. I wanted to believe that love was possible for me, but my past had taught me the lie “I’m not worthy of love.”

This belief lived so strongly in my mind that, even when a man loved me deeply, I couldn’t believe it was true. After several months, I would become convinced that he wasn’t fulfilling my needs. These worries made me so demanding that I soon snuffed out all the happiness and joy of new love. When it ended, I’d tell myself, “I just don’t deserve love!”

Until I got honest and started healing my faulty thinking, I had no hope of enjoying a happy relationship. I’m so grateful for the therapy, recovery, psychological strategies, and spiritual tools that gave me freedom from my false beliefs.

As a result I’m a pretty happy camper most days — AND I’ve been happily married for 31 years. So what if it’s my 4th husband??? He’s fabulous!

To learn how to win independence from your own committee’s whispered lies, check out my award-winning book 50 Ways to Worry Less Now (Amazon 5 stars), Audiobook, and Ebook HERE https://GigiLanger.com/buy/

March 28, 2020March 28, 2020

LET’S BE AT PEACE . . . Come What May

Hello from southwest Florida. I hope you and your loved ones are safe and healthy. Our golf community just had its first case of the virus, so we’re in quarantine, just like so many of you.

As we listen to government warnings, gossip, and TV experts, it’s all too easy to lose sight of hope and tolerance–just when we need them most. So, when we find ourselves captivated by fear, let’s seek peace of mind instead.

Today, I offer you these words of love and peace, plus two powerful tools to help us face this challenge together.

Gratitude Brings Peace of Mind

I thank God (literally) for our food, water, and electricity. Not to mention my fun, steady husband of 30 years (need I remind you, he’s my 4th?). And let’s not forget our very social and entertaining cat, Murphy.

But, most of all, I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect my heart with yours across space and time. More than ever, I’ve been joining with loved ones through prayer, positive thoughts, social media, and internet-based gatherings. (A friend just texted me, “I wish I had bought stock in Zoom!”). These connections are, most definitely, my life-line (remember, I’m the former “Queen of Worry!”).

If you’re feeling uncertain, take a moment to make your own gratitude list— truly a mental/emotional game-changer (and, I often do need to change the “game” in my head!)

Two Truths: Take ‘Em to The Bank!

During challenging times, I believe (right down to my toes) two things:

We are all connected in spirit, and by joining together, our loving power can get us through anything.
My job is to replace my fear and panic with peace of mind, so I can reach out to others with love, encouragement, and care.

Tool 19 from my book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, will help you find your own center of peace, wisdom, and courage.

Loving-Kindness Practice

This Buddhist practice (also called metta) calms your mind, opens your heart to goodness, activates the power of your true self, and dissolves whatever may be blocking your love for others.

First, say the affirmation for yourself:

May I be at peace. May my heart remain open.
May I awaken to the light of my own true nature.
May I be healed. May I be a source of healing for all beings.

Now, say it for your loved ones and the entire world: May we be at peace. May our hearts remain open; May we awaken to the light of our own true nature. May we be healed. May we be a source of healing for all beings.

Finally, and this may be the most important of all, say it for someone you worry about or dislike: May you (name) be at peace; May your heart remain open. May you awaken to the light of your own true nature. May you be healed. May you be a source of healing to all beings.

I have memorized this Loving Kindness affirmation and say it often. Give it a try. It really works!

Blocks to Love: Judging, Resenting, Condemning

Why is the last version of this prayer so important? Simply put, hatred and judgement block our ability to give and receive love. Seeing people with forgiveness rather than condemnation is the most healing choice we can make–for the whole world.

“Dear God, please help me to see this differently.”

Join me in asking our higher power to help us see all others with love rather than criticism, and to fully open our hearts to one another. This is, after all, God’s will for us.

Gigi Langer, 34 years sober, holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology from Stanford University. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, Gigi has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. A former professor of teacher education at Eastern Michigan University, she lives in Michigan and Florida with her husband, Peter, and Murphy, her cat.

Get Gigi’s new book, “50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection” (5 Stars on Amazon). Available in audio, e-book, and paperback Click HERE for special offers.

“This book is a winner.” –Karen Casey, Bestselling Hazelden author
“Valuable, heartfelt manual.” — Publishers Weekly (BookLife)

December 27, 2018

MAKE A 2018 GRATITUDE LIST!

worry less now gigi langer — From Unsplash

Dear Blog Followers,

We hope you and your loved ones are well and we send our best wishes for a happy holiday season and a wonderful 2019. As you know, “counting your blessings” is a great way to feel better about almost anything. So, here are a few of my favorites from 2018 . . . plus the next big goal!

Gigi’s 2018 Gratitude List

You and all “Gigi Langer” followers. Without your appreciation and enthusiasm for what I write, this site would not exist. You motivate me to share ideas and experiences that might be helpful or inspiring. And I absolutely LOVE it when you comment on my posts–both here and in FaceBook. So, here’s a big THANK YOU for your encouragement!
An active and fun life. Peter (my 4th husband–yup!) and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary in 2019. I’m so grateful that we still love every moment together. We both play a little golf and enjoy time with friends. Peter’s got lots of home projects going, and I’m still very involved in supporting my own and others’ recovery from addiction and alcoholism.
Our families. We are all well and happy. A few have left us: my mother in Dec. 2014 and our brother-in-law, Kyran, last spring. I enjoy time with my sisters and brother, and with Peter’s family. Every year we all realize how precious are the hours together.
Inspiration and service. For the past few years, I’ve been attending A Course in Miracles study group at Karen Casey’s home. This is such a gift, as she’s long been one of my writing idols (So many of us in recovery have used her daily meditation books, e.g., Each Day a New Beginning, from Hazelden.) I’m also so grateful to my fellow Board Members of the Ann Arbor Women’s Group; for 11 years we’ve been connecting women in sobriety!
Live music. This year we saw The Music Man (Peter’s favorite), My Fair Lady, Martin Sexton (if you don’t know his music, check it out here; he’s phenomenal, especially live), a full performance of the Messiah (it “took me to church”), and Peter’s favorite group Manhattan Transfer (masters of vocal-harmony-jazz). Last week we attended Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas” and the song “count your blessings instead of sheep” prompted this gratitude list.
I published my book! 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, And Connection was a huge endeavor, occupying most of 2012-2017. Possum Hill Press published it in February 2018, and it has already earned great reviews on Amazon and from Publisher’s Weekly (BookLife), Midwest Book Review, and The Library Journal. Last summer, it received the 2018 National Indie Excellence Award in the self-help category.
The next project. One of my biggest life surprises occurred when God tapped me on the shoulder and had me enthusiastically running up to my office to write a book. Now that it’s completed, he’s sent another little nudge: Make an audio book! It’s taken me a while to warm up to the idea, but I’m doing it (How can you say “No!” to God?). Check out my first 3 videos showing how I’m approaching this task. They’re on YouTube too (Gigi Langer). Here’s the link for the fourth video, Gigi Makes an Audio Book, part 4.

Perhaps you too will make a gratitude list for 2018. Focusing on the good things brings more of the same into your life. I’d love to see your list!

I give thanks for every one of you who reads what I write, and look forward to our continued partnership in giving and receiving love.

A shameless ad from Gigi: Order my book on Amazon (free shipping with Prime) OR go to www.gigilanger.com, click on Seattle Book Company, and use “20lessnow” code to lower the price (to reimburse you for shipping). If interested, also check out my blog and/or my FaceBook (FB) posts. Finally, if you will (or have) read the book, I’d appreciate your reviews on Goodreads, FB Gigi Langer Author, and Amazon. Thank you!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 32 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Her new book is available from Amazon, and in various formats here .

November 22, 2018December 1, 2018

GRATITUDE FOR MY ELECTRONIC FRIENDS!

I’m hoping you’re finding many things in your life that evoke gratitude. It’s the key to happiness and it’s so simple–to focus on what we have rather than on what we lack. It’s like flipping a switch. “Ooops, I’m seeing the negative; I switch my focus to goodness.”

This year, my heart fills with gratitude for so many people and things. First, my dear, kind, fun, husband, Peter. We’ve had 29 wonderful years together.

Next, my family: brother, sisters, and their spouses, children, and grandchildren. Always loving and supportive of my life adventures.

I cherish the dear friends who’ve shared my childhood, school-years, adulthood, and especially my 32 years of recovery. You all are my best cheerleaders!

Some say that such family & friends function as “God in skin.” They stream love into our lives and we do the same for them.

I always thought these “angels” needed to be physically present in my life. But this year, I discovered thousands of “electronic” angels–my website and FB friends who react with such enthusiasm and appreciation to the words I write.

Ironically, I made these heart-connections purely “by accident.” While publishing my latest book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now), I found most marketing experts suggested using social media.

So I began to post articles on spirituality and recovery in FB groups. Soon, I had many followers whose insightful comments and compliments encouraged me to continue.

As the numbers grew, I saw my FB feed fill up with uplifting posts. Reading my new friends’ words became one of the joys of my life.

So, this Thanksgiving, I want to thank all of my electronic and in-person friends for sharing your blessings of loving connection so generously. Thank you for enriching my life greatly!

PS: Want to support my FB author page? Just click here and click “like” below the book photo.

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry” who holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, and lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

GIVE THE GIFT OF HOPE AND INSPIRATION
Award-Winning “50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace.” Specific tools to banish stress & negativity. Amazon 5 stars. Rave reviews from publishing journals and recovery authors.
GET 20% off NOW with promo code 20lessnow.
BLACK FRIDAY-CYBER MONDAY SALE: 50% off 2nd copy (6:00 pm 11/22 – midnight 11/26]. (Discount will appear on the final check-out screen). Order here: Seattle Books

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Tag: gratitude

CELEBRATE INDEPENDENCE FROM NEGATIVITY!

LET’S BE AT PEACE . . . Come What May

Gratitude Brings Peace of Mind

Two Truths: Take ‘Em to The Bank!

Loving-Kindness Practice

Blocks to Love: Judging, Resenting, Condemning

MAKE A 2018 GRATITUDE LIST!

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