WHY IS THE “NOW” IN WORRY LESS NOW?

Some have asked why I added the “Now” at the end of “50 Ways to Worry Less.” At first, I didn’t think much about it; it just seemed to have a better rhythm. But, as I’ve pondered it more deeply, I realize the word “now” clarifies a point that eludes many of us:

We don’t stop worrying all at once and forever. It’s a minute-by-minute process in each “now” moment.

So many believe if we could just find the one right answer, we could be forever free of fear and limitations. But that hasn’t been my experience. In fact, personal growth is a rather mysterious process. We work away in therapy and/or recovery, and often doubt that much is changing.

But, then we find little sparkles of light sprinkled along the way. It’s those illuminated “now” moments that signal we’re on the right path: a feeling of deep appreciation for a former enemy, a life-stopping moment of beauty, or acting courageously in situations that used to baffle us. Such miracle-moments show us that something bigger than our limitations is helping us become better people.

So, when I say we can “worry less NOW,” that’s exactly what I mean. Don’t be bothered by your worry a few minutes ago. Don’t go into the future and predict your problems will get worse. Just get quiet right now and remember who you are—a loving, loved, and loveable person guided by your own higher power (true self, universe, goddess, spirit, etc.).

This attention to the present moment is why meditation is so powerful: it teaches us to unhinge our attention from the details of the past and future, and to focus on what is happening right now. Meditators know how to observe their thoughts, and when they are disturbing refocus them onto the peace of right now.

This is truly the ONLY control we have over anything in our lives: what we choose to think about RIGHT NOW.

This skill, however, is one of progress, not perfection. My own mind often projects future scary scenarios that typically never happen. And so often, I’m not even aware of my mind’s focus…it’s just on autopilot, going wherever it goes. In spite of this tendency to “check out,” I can remember to check-in with myself, perhaps by noticing a tension in my jaw or shoulders. Then I can ask myself what thoughts might be prompting this fear, and replace them with loving ones.  

So how do you choose what to think about? It takes commitment to learn new, positive thoughts to replace the usual negative ones. That is one reason many of us read daily meditation books, or study daily lessons of ACIM, or learn specific prayers, mantras, or affirmations. We need a bank of positive ideas to use when we notice our worry-thoughts. One of my favorites is, “Help me to see this differently.” In this request, I’m acknowledging that I don’t like what my mind is picturing, and I want the light of the present moment to fill my mind instead.

For example, my sister recently had surgery, and I kept imagining I would lose her. I hated how I felt—jittery and full of panic. Once I acknowledged I was scaring myself with  my thoughts, I asked to see it differently. Then I repeated this phrase “all false beliefs, all negative appearances are dissolved right now by love.” I regained my peace of mind for that moment. Then when my mind reverted to worry, I noticed it, and returned to the beauty of right now.

I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU: How do you redirect your thoughts into a pleasant and peaceful appreciation of Now?