A few months ago, Charita Cadenhead interviewed me on her “Meet the Author” show. In this 8-minute section, we discuss how growing into one’s best self occurs in layers.
The payoff is happier relationships, better health, and greater success. But, best of all, this growth leads to increased ability to give and receive love.
My book, Worry Less Now, gives you the tools to become your best self. Get your personalized, signed copy for $13.45 (10% off, free shipping) RIGHT HERE.
If you’d prefer to view the video with captions, click on the YouTube link HERE:
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Listen to Chapter 5, “Using Growth Practices to Recover Your True Self” right here!
You get to hear it right now, weeks before anyone else, just because you’re a loyal subscriber to my blog and/or newsletter.
I knew it was time to publish an audio book when people started asking how they could find it on Audible. It took a while to find the right time and the perfect narrator, but we did, and it’s only a few weeks away from being released!
I chose Chapter 5 for you because it’s the most honest — and it was the hardest one to write! It describes how I used honesty, power, choices, and 13 tools to heal the layers of pain that drove my self-destructive behavior. I hope you find something here of use to you or your loved ones.
Just click the red arrow below to listen to the 45-minute chapter. PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK about what you like or find problematic. That would be a HUGE help. Thanks! Happy listening!
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Order a PERSONALIZED SIGNED COPY of award-winning 50 Ways to Worry Less NowHERE. Also available from from Barnes and Noble , Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.
Grievances–grudges, judgment, criticism, resentment, blame, disapproval, or attack—block us from happiness and serenity.
“Well I don’t DO those things,”
You might think this, and you’re probably right. But what about the condemning attitudes living in our minds? Can any of us say we don’t constantly judge others’ words and actions? Of course we do.
It sounds like this: “If I were him, I wouldn’t do that.” “Why can’t she just get along with us? What’s wrong with her?” “They should not be doing that; they’re corrupt.”
The Problem with Grievances
Even though such statements seem true, the problem is that we’re focusing on the negative rather than the positive.
When we choose to hold a grievance, we can’t see the other
person’s true self—the purity of
their spirit. Further, if we can’t see the goodness in them, we can’t claim it for
ourselves. What we send out to others comes back to us; it’s that simple.
Many of us deny our own negativity by numbing ourselves with substances or other unhealthy habits—a dead end to positive growth. Even those trying to be more positive still struggle with inherent dark thoughts. I certainly do.
The good news is that I’ve found so many ways to escape my mind’s tendency to criticize and judge. You can find them in my book, “Worry Less Now,” and in my blog.
How to Overcome A Grievance
Here’s a technique that showed up today as I read Lesson 78, “Let miracles replace all grievances,” from A Course in Miracles. First I was to recall all my negative thoughts about an important person in my life: what that person had done, their “weaknesses,” and other offenses. Then I was to ask spirit to help me see him through the eyes of love—“Let your mind be shown the light in him beyond your grievances.” Then it suggested that I thank this person for prompting my negativity and discomfort so that I could release it and be peaceful and happy.
I just did the exercise as directed. As I chose to focus on the perfection of this person’s spirit rather than the images my mind had conjured, I found a deep peace creep over me. I could hardly remember what I thought was “wrong,” and I felt a loving connection with the person. As a result, I felt the light of spirit growing in myself.
The miracle of replacing fear with love had occurred. Amen.
I would love to hear from you: What gets in the way of your serenity? How do you overcome grievances or grudges?
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.
These days, it’s really easy to fall prey to fear and insecurity about the future. So, I thought I’d share with you seven ways to overcome fear.
1) Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what’s right. Try a gratitude journal, random acts of kindness, finding something you appreciate about another person, or stopping to smell the roses (or in this case, our beautiful spring blossoming trees!)
2) Instead of obsessing about a negative situation until it seems to be a major issue, try to keep it in perspective. Remember that this too shall pass, and you’ve made it through worse things. Try to accept what is going on with calm trust that, even though things may appear scary or chaotic, all is well. For more on changing your perspective, see this post.
3) Instead of isolating with TV, media, and potato chips (or ice cream!), hang out with positive people striving to improve their lives. They will give you hope and make you laugh–the best tonic of all. Zoom has many meetings and gatherings to support your growth.
4) Instead of engaging in self-criticism, try self-compassion. Talk to yourself as if you were a small child who needs comforting and reassurance. Take good care of yourself by taking a hot bath or a soothing walk outside.
5) Instead of trying to change the past by thinking about how it could have been different, focus on what is going on right now, both inside and around your body. Savor the sensations of sound, touch, scent, vision, and taste.
6) Instead of living in the wreckage of your future, try being 100% in this present moment. Pay rapt attention to those you’re listening to and enjoy every moment of your life.
7) Instead of trying to change people, places, or things, admit that you have no power over them. Then focus on the only things you CAN control: your own attitudes and actions. Admit that you don’t know what is best in every situation. Practice acceptance. Let go and allow the mysterious power of spirit handle things.
What would you add? I would love to hear how you’re overcoming fear! With love from Gigi, “Worry Less Now!”
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Order myaward-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) HERE . Also available in e-book and audiobook. 4.8 stars on Amazon!
