Format: Each week, read a chapter of my book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, and experiment with your choice of tools. Learn from me and share your progress at each online session. Free workbook included.
Cost: $68.95 for complete class (plus $8 if you need the book)
IF YOU’RE INTERESTED, PLEASE EMAIL me at glanger2202@gmail.com I’ll ask you a few questions, and then I’ll select 10 people for the group. I look forward to hearing from you!
Prior Participantsā Comments āWonderful course content and superb delivery of wisdom.ā āIt inspired me to actually use the tools!ā āLoved Gigiās upbeat personality and joy.ā
š£ ā50 WAYS to WORRY LESS NOWā Great Gift! $8.95 Signed Paperback+Workbook (free USA shipping) at gigilanger.com/buy. 4.9 Stars on Amazon: E-book & audiobook at amzn.to/2RMx5m5 š
After solving my drinking problem, I was amazed to find equally damaging aspects within my own personality–low self-esteem, jealousy, perfectionism, and constant anxiety.
I now think of these ācharacter flawsāĀ as survival strategiesĀ that helped meĀ cope in the past, but no longer serveĀ me in the present. For example, standing up for my own needsĀ often brought on ridicule at home, so I became a people-pleaser and pretended everything was fine. Now, many years later, I no longer need to suppress my needs because Iāve learned to beĀ honest andĀ assertiveĀ in my relationships.Ā
To change this old,Ā damaging pattern, I neededĀ to discover theĀ motivatorsĀ underlying it: where had IĀ beenĀ fearful, dishonest, resentful, or selfish?Ā Often these motivators showed up in my self-talk as whispered lies.Ā For instance, my fear might whisper, āDonātĀ speak up; if youĀ do, heāll getĀ angry and leave.ā Ā Dishonesty also played its partĀ by denying my unpleasant feelings.Ā (For more on Whispered Lies, see my book,Ā 50 Ways to Worry Less NowĀ –Ā amzn.to/2RMx5m5).Ā
When I used therapy, the 12 steps, and other practices to dissolve my fears and dishonesty, I gained positive self-talk (Whispered Truths) such as, āI have the right to ask for what I desire.ā As a result, my happiness and relationships benefited from my assertiveness and honesty.
Here I illustrate how eachĀ motivator (Fear, Dishonesty, Resentment, Selfishness)Ā spawnsĀ whispered lies,Ā character flaws, andĀ negative consequences.Ā But the story doesnāt end there!Ā After choosing to let go of these patterns and humbly asking God to remove them, we find the healing of internalĀ whispered truthsĀ andĀ many benefits.
FEAR UNHEALED
Whispered Lies: āIf I create conflict or speak up, people will leave me.ā āI must perform well to be loved.ā āIf I make a mistake, Iāll be abandoned.ā
Character Flaws: People-pleasing, Perfectionism, Fear of failure, Laziness, Doubt
Consequences: Victim mentality, Blaming others, Anxiety, Procrastination, Giving up
FEAR HEALED
Whispered Truths: āI have a right to ask for what I desire.ā āI can be imperfect and still be worthy of love.ā āMy high standards improve my work when I also take good care of myself.ā
Whispered Lies: āI have to be who people want me to be.ā āIf I can figure this out, I can keep my loved ones safe.ā āI canāt be happy unless things change.ā
Character Flaws: Codependency; Needing to control people, places, and things; Self-justification
Consequences: Failed relationships, Trying to change others, Overthinking, Obsessing about the future, Lack of self-care, Anxiety, Denial of powerlessness
DISHONESTY HEALED
Whispered Truths: āI find the courage to take good care of myself.ā āMy higher power is in charge of my own and my loved onesā security.ā āI canāt change people, places or things, but I CAN change how I think and act.ā āThis is Godās job, not mine.ā
Benefits: Loving others with honesty, Moderation, Acceptance, Resiliency
RESENTMENT UNHEALED
Whispered Lies: āNothing works out for me.ā āScrew life!ā āIām not getting what I deserve.ā āI hate him/her/it!ā
Character Flaws: Negativity, Self-Pity, Intolerance, Impatience, Envy
Consequences: Gossip, Depression, Defensive in friendships, Distrust love, Anger
RESENTMENT HEALED
Whispered Truths: āI have everything I need as God wills.ā āEverything is in perfect order; I just canāt see it right now.ā āThis person is troubled just as I am; I see us both with compassion.ā āAll is well.ā
Whispered Lies: āSheās better than I am, so sheāll get all the attention I need.ā āIām better at this than she is, so Iām more worthy than she is.ā āI must have this NOW!ā
Character Flaws: Pride, Greed, Self-criticism, Judging others, Suspicion
Consequences: Relationship difficulties, Withholding love, Non-communication, Stress/anxiety, Rigid expectations of others (and of ourselves).
SELFISHNESS HEALED
Whispered Truths: āI am an equal among equals.ā āWeāre all loved and loveable.ā āWe all share flaws; thatās okay.ā
Benefits: Happy relationships, Generosity, Consideration of others, Acceptance
*Note that each of the four motivators shows up to some extent in almost every flaw listed
HOW DO YOUIDENTIFYWITH THESE IDEAS? I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the āQueen of Worry,ā Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.
My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)
As you may remember, I’ve stopped my weekly blog because I’m currently facilitating a āWorry Less Now” Study Group. Itās been wonderful joining with 8 beautiful women to work with affirmations, vision boards, master minding, and other tools from my book. Surprisingly,however, some of us are finding that change doesnāt come as quickly as weād like. We may wonder, “Is it all really in perfect order?”
I thought you might enjoy reading the note I sent to the study group members about that dilemma.
Dear āWorry Less Now” Study GroupWomen
Since youāve been working on improving your life, I hope youāre noticing some positive changes. If not, donāt worry!
Quite often, after declaring an intention to grow, we get into a situation that makes us so uncomfortable (for SO long) that we finally give up on trying to fix it all by ourselves. At this point, weāre usually quite willing to use more tools to stream loving power into our situation. Eventually (not on our timetable), we find peace of mind & intuitive guidance; and suddenly, it’s no longer a āproblem.ā
In short, sometimes things seem to get worse before they get better. My mantra for such times is,
āEVERYTHING IS IN PERFECT ORDER, even though I canāt see it.ā
This past 2 weeks, I was laid up, so I read historical novels & kept in close contact with my docs. I was so tempted to believe the whispered lie: āMy sickness will keep me from living the life I want.ā Thank God, I was patient and kept affirming: “I am not my body; I am spirit, and all is well.” Today (finally) I feel like myself againāyay! Perhaps the āperfect orderā here was that I needed to slow down and rest. More will be revealed!
Keep An Eye out for the Next “Worry Less Now” Study Group!
I hope youāre doing well these days, and that your growth-path is full of patience and miracles! Stay tuned for my next 5-week “Worry Less Now” study group. I hope you’ll join!
Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the āQueen of Worry,ā Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.
My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)
How many of us wish, āIf only I had the power to make things turn out the way I want them to!ā
Let’s take a minute to look closely at these illusions of will and power. How well has trying to control others worked for you? Do you believe you can impose the changes youād like to see on the world? Perhaps youāve even struggled unsuccessfully to change your own fears and habits.
When you can admit that your unaided efforts to improve your own and others’ lives almost always fail, a wondrous alternative appears: You can trust a positive power to help you find peace and courage, no matter whatās going on in your life.
What Is Positive Power?
If youāre skeptical about what many call a “higher power,” let me assure you: You donāt need to worship a particular spiritual entity, religion, dogma, or philosophy. Youāll be defining this source in a way that works for you. You can be as unconventional or traditional as you want–as long as you tap into something greater than your fears.
How you come to understand this power is highly personal and your business only. You may find it in your mind, spirit, energy, or in the universe. Perhaps youāll discover it through the hope and strength of supportive, healthy people. (However, consider carefully what they say and how they live their lives. Then take what works for you and leave the rest behind.)
How Can A Positive Power Help Me?
How can you put your positive power to work in your life? By making one single decision again and again: Reject your fear-filled thoughts and connect with your source of power. As you continue making this choice, you’ll discover a happy outlook and intuitive guidance for your problems.
Studies reported by Stephanie Castillo reveal that believers in such a power are happier than those who donāt believe. Cultivating loving thoughts, good feelings, and positive experiences reprograms your persistent, negative thinking. In the words of author Emmet Fox, āYou cannot think one thing and produce another.ā
Try it now
Memorize a prayer or affirmation and say it often, mindfully savor the beauty around you, try guided meditation, listen to inspiring speakers, join with positive people for fun and growth, say a kind word to a stranger or friend, list five things you’re grateful for each day, write in a journal, pray for those you resent, and/or practice loving self-compassion.
A Few Reminders about A āHigher Powerā
You donāt need to intellectually understand a positive power for it to work for you
Fear and judgment keep you upset and alone; a loving power overcomes your fear and connects you with others.
With consistent practice and pleasing results, youāll come to trust your positive power to bring you peace and happiness, no matter what is going on in your life.
Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the āQueen of Worry,ā Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.
My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now which describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)
