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March 1, 2019March 13, 2019

Interview Part 1: Your Destructive Whispered Lies

Want to worry less? Become aware of your negative self-talk: “whispered lies” such as, “Oh, this is just so awful.” “I can’t handle this.” “I need to fix (situation/person) right now.” “I can’t be happy until (situation/person) changes.” “I’ll never be able to do that.” or “I wish I hadn’t . . .”

Stressful thoughts like these scare us so much that we end up with life-threatening illnesses, or we find ourselves too preoccupied to give love and attention to our family or friends. Not a recipe for happiness!

How do we overcome our whispered lies so we can find peace, wisdom, and fulfilling relationships?

That’s what Charita and I talked about in this interview series about my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, And Connection.

Interviewer, Charita H. Cadenhead, Realtor, Author, Radio host, Entrepreneur (R.A.R.E.). http://renewrefreshreset.com/about/charita-cadenhead/

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon or get 20% here off with promo code 20lessnow.

February 23, 2019February 23, 2019

AVOID THIS KIND OF “SUPPORT” WHEN YOU’RE HURTING

How many times have you shared a painful experience or emotion with another, and felt completely frustrated with their lack of support? In fact, you left the conversation feeling more alone than ever?

An old saying, “Don’t go to the hardware store for milk,” warns us not to look for understanding from those who are unable to give it.

So, who are the best people to turn to for emotional support? Although many think their lover or spouse should provide all the care they need, it’s an impossible task. Others turn to their family members whose own wounds may block them from providing the care we’re looking for.

These three patterns will help you determine which people in your life are most likely to provide loving support when you’re hurting.

Pattern 1. “Here’s my solution,” rather than “Here’s how to access wise guidance.”

A less helpful friend suggests immediate solutions that attempt to control the situation. Because he’s uneasy with your discomfort, his goal is to fix it right now. Such advice can make the situation worse rather than better.

A helpful friend offers ideas and tools that bring you peace of mind and intuitive guidance. He’ll remind you that a serene state of mind will result in the best actions.

Pattern 2. “It’s all about me,” rather than “It’s all about you.”

A less helpful friend responds by sharing her own troubles. If she’s not able to focus on your concerns, then she may not be truly interested in your well being.

A helpful friend listens, carefully summarizes your thoughts and feelings, and asks questions to understand you. If this friend shares her own story, it’s only offered to give you hope; then she returns the focus to you.

Pattern 3. “Let’s focus on the problem,” rather than “Let’s find a place of peace.”

A less helpful friend wants to hear the lurid details. She commiserates about how terrible your situation is and helps you justify your pain. Such friends end up reinforcing your resentments, fears, and worries.

A helpful friend refuses to escalate your fears by “awfulizing” events. She might suggest that you accept the situation as it is for now, and work toward a peaceful state of mind. Finally, she reassures you that this situation will find resolution in the best way for all, and that it may take time.

The Litmus Test: Consider how you feel after talking to the person. If you feel more agitation than hope, try sharing your vulnerabilities with someone else.

The most helpful people probably won’t come from your family. Your family members may unwittingly reinforce the very same patterns you’re trying to overcome. Give yourself some time to heal before you share deeply with family members.

Choose a confidant who holds no sexual attraction for you. A romantic partner hates to see you suffer, and may try to fix your problem for you. Or, if your partner struggles with security or power, their responses may be damaging rather than helpful.

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.

February 14, 2019

RECHARGE WITH THE 12 POWERS MEDITATION

I’ve had this flu/cold/virus (whatever the !&#? it is!!) for 10 days. I’m taking doc-prescribed meds, resting, drinking water, etc. But every morning I wake up feeling like a wet noodle! I’m leading a retreat this Saturday, and I’m worried that I’ll lose my voice.

So, it’s time to bring out the big gun: The 12 Powers Meditation by Charles Fillmore of Unity church. (After using the meditation, I’m now able to write this blog – YAY!)

12 powers worry less now Each of the 12 Powers has its own color and body location to visualize as you say the affirmations. I’ve simplified them so I can easily remember each one. I must confess I changed “Will” to the color Gold (as in The Golden Key by Emmet Fox); and “Understanding” is now Silver. It just made more sense to me.

You may wish to substitute your own terms for the words “Christ” and “God.” (“Christ” refers to your divine, true self; and “God” is your higher power as you understand it.) Also, you can state the affirmations in your own words.

BEGINNING AFFIRMATION: There is one presence and power in the universe, God, and I am one with it as the light of God surrounds me.

FAITH: Indigo Blue — Crown of Head. The Christ in me now activates Faith. I trust God, knowing God’s will is for my highest good. I give thanks for the gift of Faith.
STRENGTH: Pale Green – Lower Back. The Christ in me now activates Strength. I am strong and unafraid. Strength surges through me, giving me energy, endurance, and vigor. I give thanks for the faculty of Strength.
WISDOM: Yellow – Solar Plexus, Under Rib Cage. The Christ in me now activates Wisdom (Judgement). I perceive beyond appearances, and am guided by Divine intuition into wise and perfect ways. I give thanks for the faculty of Wisdom.
LOVE: Pink – Heart. The Christ in me now activates Love. I am a radiating center of Divine Love, loved and loving to everyone (including myself). I give thanks for the faculty of Love.
POWER: Purple – Throat. The Christ in me now activates Power. My thoughts and words vibrate with spiritual power. I give thanks for the faculty of Power.
IMAGINATION: Pale Blue – Forehead. The Christ in me now activates Imagination. I see creative, new ways to do what is mine to do. New opportunities to experience God’s good are coming into my life. I give thanks for the gift of Imagination.
UNDERSTANDING: Silver – Front of Head. The Christ in me now activates Understanding. God is present in all situations and in every relationship. The perfect outworking of every situation is being revealed to me now. I give thanks for the faculty of Understanding.
WILL: Gold – Center of Head. The Christ in me now activates Will. Not my will but God’s be done in my life. God molds me and uses me as God wills. I give thanks for the faculty of Will.
ORDER: Dark Green – Belly Button. The Christ in me now activates Perfect Order. My spiritual path unfolds in its proper sequence. Divine timing and order are now established in my life. I give thanks for the faculty of Order.
ZEAL: Saffron/Orange – Back of Head. The Christ in me now activates Zeal. I am enthusiastic and excited about life. I feel good pouring through me and I experience miracles in my life. I give thanks for the faculty of Zeal.
ELIMINATION: Brown/Rust – Lower Abdomen. The Christ in me now activates Elimination (Renunciation). I am free of the past, and release all false and useless attitudes, emotions, and reactions. I am at one with God and with life. I give thanks for the faculty of Renunciation.
LIFE: Red – Reproductive Organs. The Christ in me now activates Life. Every cell in my being is charged with the pure, restorative life of God. I give thanks for the faculty of Life.

CLOSING AFFIRMATION: There is only one Presence and Power, God the good, omnipotent. Father/Mother God and I are one.

PRAYER FOR PROTECTION: The Light of God surrounds me, the Love of God enfolds me, the Power of God protects me, and the Presence of God watches over me. Wherever I am, God is. Amen.

This list of 12 might seem long, but I’ve memorized it, and you can too. It helps to chunk the powers into groups of 4: Faith, Strength, Wisdom, Love — Power, Imagination, Understanding, Will — Order, Zeal, Elimination, Life.

Most important, however, is that you give it a try, breathing calmly and deeply as you visualize and say each affirmation. When you use this practice regularly, you’ll be amazed by the results! As I’ve been writing this blog, I find I’m feeling better and better. It works!

I’d love to hear from you! What do you notice? How have you modified the practice? What results are you seeing?

Gigi Langer is the author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection. 5 Stars on Amazon and winner of the Indie Excellence Award. Get 20% off here with promo code 20lessnow. (No discount at Amazon or e-books)

Gigi had a long career teaching and writing in education. She holds a PhD from Stanford University in Psychological Studies in Education, and has been clean and sober for 33 years.

February 9, 2019

EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT — IT REALLY IS!

worry less now

I’ve always found great comfort from the the Jesus Christ Superstar hit, “Everything’s Alright” because I used to desperately try to believe it. After years of trials, I’ve finally found the tools that help me trust that everything’s alright. I know you can gain that trust, too. It just takes a few new choices.

These song lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice offer a few hints.

Try not to get worried,

Try not to turn on to problems that upset you, oh.

Don’t you know, everything’s alright, yes, everything’s fine.

And we want you to sleep well tonight.

Let the world turn without you tonight.

Everything’s alright, yes, everything’s alright, yes.

Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and anoint you.

Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh.

Then you’ll feel everything’s alright, yes, everything’s fine.

And it’s cool, and the ointment’s sweet, For the fire in your head and feet.

Close your eyes, close your eyes, And relax, think of nothing tonight.

So, what is the song trying to tell us?

Try not to turn on to problems that upset you. Don’t dwell on the
“hopelessness” of your problems; instead, redirect your mind toward hope, care, and positive thoughts. Here’s how to do that.
Let the world turn without you tonight. You don’t have to fix all the problems of the world. Just let it spin. Try detachment as explained here.
I shall soothe you, calm you, and anoint you . . . And relax, think of nothing tonight. Turning to a higher presence to soothe your worries allows you to relax, to let go of “figuring it out.” From this cool, sweet place come the insights, inspiration, and solutions for all your worries. More about this power here.

Just imagine the relief flowing over you as you trust a loving power to take care of every aspect of your life, knowing that guidance and comfort will take care of whatever vexes you. Ahhhhh. Relax, Try not to worry. Everything’s alright–it really is!

Gigi Langer is the author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection. 5 Stars on Amazon and winner of the Indie Excellence Award. Get 20% off herewith promo code 20lessnow. (No discount at Amazon or e-books)

Gigi had a long career teaching and writing in education. She holds a PhD from Stanford University in Psychological Studies in Education, and has been clean and sober for 33 years.

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Interview Part 1: Your Destructive Whispered Lies

AVOID THIS KIND OF “SUPPORT” WHEN YOU’RE HURTING

RECHARGE WITH THE 12 POWERS MEDITATION

EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT — IT REALLY IS!

These song lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice offer a few hints.

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