Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

ENJOY LIFE—UNFETTERED BY THE PAST!

I recently hurt my knee and have been in a lot of pain. My thoughts immediately returned to my many years of limitation and anguish with two frozen shoulders. I was terrified this experience would be the same.

Unfortunately, the mind uses the past to predict the future. If our past was painful, we tend to see pain lurking around every corner.

Such hyper-vigilance causes stress, cardiac problems, gastric difficulties, depression, and a variety of other ailments.

WE CAN REPROGRAM OUR MINDS

The good news is, filling our minds with peaceful, positive thoughts dissolves our old fears. But, these new thoughts must be fed to the mind over and over again.

For example, a daily gratitude list or morning meditation teaches the mind to expect better things. Mantras, affirmations, visualization, the Golden Key (explained here), and consistent prayer do the same.

Finally, choose wisely when sharing your tough times with others.

PICK YOUR CONFIDANTS CAREFULLY

(See this post for more detail.) Avoid those who keep focusing on the upsetting situation, talk only about themselves, or suggest immediate action.

Instead, choose caring, healthy people who guide you to become calm so you can access the strength and wisdom of your “positive power.” (More about that here).

As we use such practices to calm our fears, we realize the past has no control over us, so we don’t need to fear the future. We’ll begin to relax and enjoy life—revel in it, even!

PS: I’M SO GLAD I WROTE THIS to remind myself of the truth. I am not a victim of my past! All is well. My knee will heal in God’s time. And truth be told, I DID need to slow down a little!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry” who writes, speaks, and encourages others to overcome their worries, addictions, and negative thinking. Her PhD is from Stanford University.

Get Gigi’s award-winning book, “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” (4.7 stars Amazon). Discounted signed copy at GigiLanger.com/buy

HOW TO REJECT “Worry, Worry, Worry . . .”

worrying dog

This darling commercial features a dog who buried his bone, and then worried so much about its safety, he couldn’t leave it alone. The soundtrack is “Worry, worry, worry” from the Ray LaMontagne song, “Trouble”. Here’s the link.

DO YOU SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE THIS POOR, WORRIED LITTLE DOG?

More than 20 percent of us struggle with anxiety. On average, we spend about 300 minutes a day worrying, a condition linked with cardiac, emotional, and other health problems.

Worries tell us, “Watch out!” Sometimes, they rightly signal danger. But, what about those unfounded fears that sap our energy and lead to failure, discouragement, and limitation?

THE PROBLEM: OUR THINKING

I call such worries “whispered lies” because they’re mostly false, telling us the pain of our past will repeat itself. For example, “I can’t do this. I’ll fail!” “I don’t deserve love,” or “I can’t be happy if (fill in the blank) happens.”

So, our thinking is the problem, right? But, wait a minute! Our thinking helps us reach important goals: jobs, degrees, repairs, trips, and so on. We set a goal and, if we just try hard enough, we get everything we want, right?

Unfortunately, this linear approach doesn’t always work: Our hearts are broken, we don’t receive a hoped-for promotion, or a loved one is seriously ill. We’re shocked to realize how little control we have over our own lives–and the lives of our loved ones. But we keep trying, right?

We become like that little white dog: We imagine we can fix our troubles by worrying about them. Or, we try to deny them through partying, working long hours, sexual preoccupation, or drugs and/or alcohol.

But these desperate strategies don’t work. The worrying and negativity just multiply, and we become more miserable than before.

WHATS THE SOLUTION?

We can change our faulty thinking by using four life strategies: 1) get honest, 2) claim positive power, 3) make healthy choices, and 4) consistently use growth tools.

If we get honest with ourselves and take responsibility for our own worries, we begin to see that only something bigger than our fears can overcome them–a source of positive power. We might call it Buddha, Courage, the Divine Spark, God, Great Spirit, Awareness, True Self, Universal Intelligence, or any name that works for us.

Next, we choose a new life (perhaps through affirmations and vision boards) and use growth tools to dissolve our whispered lies (e.g. meditation, prayer, energy work, cognitive reprogramming).

THE RESULT

We become expressions of peace (serenity to accept and wait), clarity (wisdom to know what to do and when) and connection (thriving, loving relationships)–no matter what happens in our lives.

To learn how these four life strategies can ease your own troubles, read my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection (Amazon 4.7 stars) available here. (Audiobook due in September)

Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer holds a PhD from Stanford University and is the former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, a popular speaker, and a person in recovery who hasn’t had a drink or drug for over 33 years.

HOW TO KNOW YOUR FUTURE IS SECURE

So many of us “live in the wreckage of our future.” We fear all sorts of catastrophes–a lost job, a sick or injured loved one, disability, poverty, loneliness—the list goes on and on.

But the future isn’t here yet, and it’s only our imagination that’s creating these dire scenarios. Even if we’ve experienced these things in the past, there’s no logical reason to believe they’ll happen to us in the future.

Even so, it’s almost impossible to “reason our way” out of these fears, especially for those of us who go WAY overboard with our sense of impending doom.

Yup! I’m one of those–the (former) Queen of Worry–a highly sensitive person from an alcoholic family. So, there’s that!

Fortunately, I’ve had many wonderful coaches and mentors teach me powerful tools to tame my overactive imagination.

Meditation is an obvious choice and so is prayer. But what about energy work, cognitive reframing, 12-step tools, and masterminding? Or Byron Katie’s “The Work” that asks us, “Is this true?” Finally, I’ve gotten help from guided meditations, tapping, the Law of Attraction, group therapy, Buddhist practices, journaling, and one of my favorites, self-compassion.

When I need to calm my fears, I often say, “I place the future in the Hands of God” (Lesson #194, A Course in Miracles).

This statement affirms that there’s a perfect order in all things. And I know it’s true because, when I look back, I see how things I had feared worked out in the most amazing ways; in fact, the “worst of the worst” never happened.

So, since we can’t really control the future, why not just relax, do the best we can, and leave the results up to our Higher Power (Universe, Spirit, True Self, Pure Awareness, etc.)?

I’m very grateful to know my future is secure. It’s a pretty cool way to live, when I can pull it off.

How do you deal with your fears about the future? I’d love to hear from you!

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer, PhD has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She’s written several books for educators, and is a sought-after speaker and workshop leader.  Gigi holds a doctorate in Psychological Studies in Education  and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.

Worry Less Now Cover

To learn more ways to reject negative thinking, order a personalized SIGNED COPY of my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now here.   Amazon (4.7 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book formats. AUDIOBOOK COMING SOON!

OUR DISTORTED FEARS!

“Our fears, whether large or small, were distorted. And we still distort those fears, on occasion, because we move away from the spiritual reality of our lives.” Karen Casey, ”Each Day a Dew Beginning” (Hazelden)

Sometimes my fears grab the microphone and whisper (or sometimes scream) lies such as: “If I can’t fix this, I can’t be happy!!”

I fell victim to this incessant voice recently as I tried to resolve thorny technical issues with Amazon and i-tunes. Further, a barely started book chapter was due July 9. After several weeks, I could not resolve these issues, NO MATTER WHAT I DID!

Eventually, I found myself swearing at other drivers and peeling out onto a busy street. That reckless action got my attention.

So, I admitted to myself how pissed I was and went to a meeting. There I admitted how victimized I felt—just like a powerless little girl. As others shared the “wisdom of the rooms,” Spirit’s voice of hope and sanity dissolved my rage.

When I got home, I listed on paper the three situations and then wrote “Higher Power, I place each of these into your hands and mind. I thank you for the perfect resolution for each of them.”

The next day, God pulled the rabbits out of the hat! Amazon e-mailed to explain what I needed to do; the lovely i-tunes people resolved that technical issue; and I found out the book chapter wasn’t due for two months.

Now, if that isn’t evidence that “turning it over” works, what is?

I sometimes ask myself, “Why couldn’t I have let it go sooner and saved myself all this aggravation?” Even after 33 years, I sometimes still deny my feelings—especially anger (remember, “All addictions are feeling disorders.”)

For me, the only solution to my mind’s distortions is to surrender them to my Higher Power. I’m always grateful when I do — even if it takes a I while!

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU?? I’d love to hear from you!