Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

DO YOU HAVE A “FAKE ID?” I SURE DID!

“You’ll be fine after you give up your fake ID.”

I just heard this at a 12-Step meeting and I love it! Many of us have a “fake ID” that we’ve constructed over our lifetime, and often it’s based on a sense of victimhood, fear, selfishness, and resentment. Sadly, these patterns block our true selves.

Cloaking ourselves in our “invented” identity gives us the illusion of security; but pretending to be what others want us to be can never bring us peace or happiness.

If we want to wake up and function as a happy, loving force in the world, we’ll have to drop the activities that cut us off from our best selves. In my case, the divorces, drinking, and drugs had completely covered up my true self with shame and self-loathing. I had no idea that a “Good Gigi” was inside me.

Building Our Fake ID

Why did I try so hard to create this fake ID? For those of us who grew up in troubled homes, it was a much-needed survival strategy. To give myself a sense of security, I watched people who seemed happy and successful, and then I imitated them.

The irony is that this “invented self” does not bring long-term security or contentment. In fact, it plays havoc with most relationships, practically guaranteeing their failure. When you believe the only reason you are liked is because of who you are pretending to be, you fall prey to the whispered lie, “If they knew who I really am, they’d take one look and run in the opposite direction!”

Even more damaging, your fake ID keeps you from knowing who you really are; therefore, you can’t share with another what you truly feel or need. Without emotional honesty, your relationships founder on the shoals of boredom, frustration, or dysfunction.

Finally, it’s your fake self that spews fear, self-deception, and resentment into your mind. The chaos can seem so loud and confusing that it’s almost impossible to hear anything else. If you’re lucky, you’ll wonder, “There must be another way to live!”

Discovering Your True ID

First, please know that deep inside you is a being of light and goodness. I’m sure you’ve felt glimmers of it, for example, when you’re in the flow of creative activity, or gazing at a peaceful scene in nature. As you learn to relinquish your fake ID into the hands of this higher self, your joy will follow.

When I got clean and sober, the women I met in 12-step meetings could see the light of goodness in me and responded to that, rather than to my emotional pain. Through my sponsor, therapy, spiritual practices, energy work, and cognitive reprogramming, I eventually discovered my true self, and today I live from that place most of the time–but not always!

In my opinion, one of the best ways reject your fake ID and connect with your true self is to notice your disturbing thoughts, and then redirect them to a state of quiet. There you will connect with your own personal source of peace, clarity, and loving connection. I use guided meditations to learn how to put my thinking into the background so I can “hear” my higher mind.

Often such insights appear as little intuitive nudges, sometimes when I’m not even meditating. In a mysterious, magical way, stilling our minds creates a space for wisdom to enter our lives. It’s a fun, secure, and fascinating journey!

The Gift That Keeps Giving: Your True Self

My true self has brought me a happy 31-year marriage to Peter (my fourth husband!), a successful career, and the tools to live through multiple crises of life here on earth: substance abuse, codependency, worry about alcoholics, death of loved ones, chronic pain, and workaholism, among others.

My true self also led me to write 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, a feat I never anticipated! But my inner voice kept tapping me on the shoulder saying, “You really ought to share what you’ve learned with others!” So, I did, and it’s connected me with hundreds of lovely, like-minded people (like you!) through social media, podcast appearances, and book sales.

Reject Your Fake ID to Express Your Best Self

How will you begin to challenge your own fake ID to liberate the voice and guidance of your true self? Do you need to quit some bad habits that numb your spirit and cause bad things to happen? Might you seek help from a therapist? Perhaps you can join a group of people who’ve overcome problems like yours.

Or, you might take a course to learn to meditate (I recommend “Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction” developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn and colleagues at University of Massachusetts Medical Center). Finally, I’ve found great help from the free phone meditation apps, Insight Timer, Calm, and others.

I wish for you that you awaken to your true self’s clarity of purpose, peace of mind, joy, and fulfilling relationships.

With SO much LOVE from me to you! Gigi

PS: My award-winning book outlines many more ways to find calm, wisdom and connection, no matter what’s going on in your life.

In Worry Less NowGigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating: 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

Reject Fear through A Course in Miracles

a course in miracles

More than 30 years ago, feeling beaten down by my seedy lifestyle, I asked my mentor, Jane, how she remained so peaceful. She said she studied a book called A Course in Miracles (ACiM).

A few years later, Jane sent me Love Is Letting Go of Fear (a summary of the Course’s main principles), and I clung to it like a life raft! At 35, I was in my third marriage which was already in a shambles due to my lying and substance abuse.

Three years later, I quit drinking and asked a sponsor to help me work the Twelve Steps. It was no coincidence that she also studied ACIM, and soon included me in a study group. Since then I’ve joined a few different groups, and have found this to be the best spiritual path for me.

Why does it fit me so well? You might recall that I refer to myself as the “former queen of worry.” My study of ACIM teaches me how to dissolve my fears, anxiety, resentments, and selfishness. And, during the year 2020, I have needed every lesson it has taught me to live with peace and trust!

What is A Course in Miracles? (from Wikipedia)

The purpose of the book, A Course in Miracles (ACIM), is to bring about a “spiritual transformation.  In 1965, Helen Schucman began working at a medical center as Bill Thetford’s research associate. When their weekly office meetings became quite contentious, Thetford concluded that “[t]here must be another way.” Schucman believed this interaction triggered a series of visions, dreams, and heightened imagery, along with an “inner voice” that told her: “This is a Course in Miracles, please take notes.” The next day, she explained her “note taking” to Thetford. To her surprise, he encouraged her to continue the process. Schucman said that the writing made her very uncomfortable, though it never seriously occurred to her to stop. The transcription was completed in 1977. ACIM is published by the Foundation for Inner Peace in Novato, CA.

General Principles of ACIM : Gigi’s Ideas (Workbook lesson number in parentheses)

A miracle is a shift in perception. We choose God’s loving thoughts over ego’s fearful thoughts.  We can align our minds with either Love or Fear.

Love: God. Spirit. The only reality. Everything that comes from love is good: e.g., peace, service, care.

Fear: The ego. Illusions. The part of the mind that knows only fear: judging, separating, attacking. God did not create the ego. It’s driven by bodily instincts for survival and competition. When people operate out of fear, it’s simply an appeal for help.

Who Am I, Really? “We’re spiritual beings living in a human body.”

I am a beloved child of God. I am spirit. (But I’ve forgotten this.) (114)

I am not a body. I am free, for I am still as God created me. (201)

God is in my mind. My mind holds only what I think with God. (141)

Don’t Trust Ego’s Thoughts

Ego’s voice is the first one and the loudest one we hear. It tells us happiness is not in God; that it’s in worldly people, places & things.

I’m never upset for the reason I think. (5)

I’m upset because I see something that isn’t there. (6)

I see only the past. (7) I have no neutral thoughts. (23)

The world I see holds nothing I want. (128)

We Are Free

We’re sinless in God’s Eyes: We love ourselves and others because God does. Fear (ego) separates us from our own spirit AND one another.

When people operate out of fear, it is simply an appeal for help.

What I see is a form of vengeance (attack/defense). (22) (but it’s not true)

My grievances hide the light of the world. (69)

There’s Only One of Us Here

What we see in another is what we believe about ourselves. As we love and forgive others, we dissolve our sense of separation from God  and our fellows. We’re students and teachers to one other.

To give and receive are one in truth. (108)

All that I give is given to myself. (126)

I’m not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. (18)

How to Escape Ego and Fear

Every time we’re disturbed, we need to reject ego’s negative perceptions and ask God (Love) to help us see things differently. According to ACIM, there is no “order of difficulty” to either problems or miracles. They’re all the same: either misperceptions or the truth.

I Want to Be Free of Ego’s Perceptions

I share God’s will for happiness for me. (102)

I am not the victim of the world I see. (31)

The past is over. It can touch me not. (289)

I could see peace instead of this. (34)

I Choose Love over Fear

I am determined to see this differently. (21)

Let miracles replace all grievances. (78)

Let every voice but God’s be still in me. (254)

I rest in God. (109)

Love is the way I walk in gratitude. (195)

Want to Learn More?

Start with Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love, then join a study group. I’ve found Karen Casey’s Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course and 52 Ways to Live The Course in Miracles to be very helpful. 

gigilanger_worrylessnow

Gigi Langer has studied ACIM since 1988. She now attends Course study groups in Michigan and Florida.  Langer is a certified facilitator of Gerald Jampolsky’s Attitudinal Healing, a program that helps children and adults struggling with disease apply the ideas from ACIM.

Gigi Langer’s new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection was published by Possum Hill Press in February, 2018. Get a signed copy here.

“Nothing Happens in God’s World by Mistake” REALLY?

Have you ever heard this phrase and wondered how it could possibly be true when you look around and see all the trouble in this chaotic world?

Don’t we all sometimes wonder, “Why do so many bad things happen?”

In this 4-minute video I explain how I think about God’s world and man’s world.

But first, a warning: When I made this video, I woke up, put on my robe, had my coffee, and went to a Zoom meeting. Then I had the bright idea to record my 7-minute share. And here’s what we got!

In Worry Less NowGigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

ARE YOU A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON?

For years, people told me I was too “thin-skinned” or “highmaintenance.” When I looked around at others, they didn’t seem to take things so personally, or to be bothered by loud noises and bright lights. What was wrong with me? About ten years ago I discovered the answer: I’m a “highly sensitive person” and I’m NOT alone. Indeed, about 20% of the population shares this trait.

What Are Highly Sensitive People Like?

Dr. Eileen Aron’s 25 years of research indicates that highly sensitive people:

  1. are quite sensitive to external stimuli,
  2. prefer quiet, less chaotic surroundings,
  3. worry excessively,
  4. are easily overwhelmed,
  5. reflect on things more than others, and
  6. feel things very deeply.

You’ll be happy to hear that these characteristics are quite respected in many societies where the sensitive ones become advisors and sages.

But, in our Western culture, being highly sensitive isn’t always understood or valued. That’s why some of us so often feel on the outside looking in.

So, if you think you might be a highly sensitive person or have a loved one that is, take the quiz on Aron’s website and check out her blog, “Comfort Zone.”

The healthiest path for us sensitive folks is to value who we are and take good care of ourselves.

Self-Care for Highly Sensitive People

If you can relate, here are a few suggestions for self-care.

  1. Reduce your exposure to loud, dramatic input: news programs, social media, argumentative friends/family, etc.
  2. Schedule downtime to rest, meditate, read, and renew after a busy day or after lots of social activity.
  3. Sleep enough, eat well and limit caffeine intake.
  4. Treat yourself to the enjoyment of beauty: take a walk, savor a sunset, etc.
  5. Hang out with loving people who like you exactly the way you are.
  6. Avoid bright lights and loud background noise (if they bother you).
  7. Remind yourself that your sensitivity makes you creative, empathetic, and loving.

If, like me, you are highly sensitive, please share a few of your insights here. Thanks!

In Worry Less NowGigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.