recovery Archives - Page 6 of 15

July 17, 2021July 17, 2021

THE GOD IDEA: A DEAL-BREAKER FOR RECOVERY?

I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t stand the Christian-sounding language (the “God idea”) at my first 12-step meetings.

But, with few other options for getting sober in 1986, I kept coming back. Most important, I held on to the flexibility offered by the words, “as we understood God.”

In those first months, I began to wonder if this mysterious “higher power” had something to do with the joy and freedom of my new sober friends. Also, I tried not to judge any language that smacked of organized religion. After all, who was I to condemn this God idea, when I had screwed up my own life so royally?

Something Greater than Myself

Then I read this passage: “Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. . . For faith in a power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.”
(p. 55, Alcoholics Anonymous)

Up to this point, I had put my faith in the power of high grades and romance to make me happy. But nothing had worked. In fact, I was facing my third divorce! Perhaps something greater than myself could help me out of my misery.

The most user-friendly name I can give the God idea is “positive power;” but we each find many different ways to experience it.

Positive Power as Mother, Master Mind, Love, and Light

After a year of meetings, working the steps, and therapy, I figured something was helping me stay sober. My new friends called it “God.” But, at that point, I couldn’t imagine love coming from a traditional male God. Instead, I felt most comforted by the caring “mother-power” of the women at the meetings.

But that was only my initial image. Soon, I went to a Unity church in Warren MI led by Jack Boland, a minister in recovery who led a group that referred to the God idea as the “Master Mind.” Using his eight-step process we each made requests, and each day we affirmed them for one another.

After several weekly sessions, I could not believe the “miraculous demonstrations” I witnessed! For one, I had met a man who was healthy and fun, and instead of instantly merging my life with his, I was living alone (for the first time ever!) and taking it really slowly. (Today we’ve been married 32 years! Now, that’s some positive power, aye?)

Soon after this, my sponsor began a Course in Miracles group for sober women. As we studied the lessons, I saw the God idea expressed as love, peace, and connection. But the image I found most convincing was of a “light” within each of us:

“The light is in [you] now. . .It is the only thing you bring with you from your. . .Source. The light cannot be lost. [It] is shining in you now, and from your heart extends around the world. . .The light within you is sufficient.” (Lesson 188, A Course in Miracles)

As I discovered this light within myself, I began to see it in others. For example, when a woman walks into a 12-step meeting, I can instantly see the her shining light leading her to a happy, healthy life.

What’s Your Image of Positive Power (a God Idea)?

My images and experiences of positive power continue to evolve, and I’m relieved that I don’t need to define it or understand exactly how it works. I just know that when I let this power into my mind and heart, amazing things happen!

Perhaps you, too, have found a power that works for you, even if it doesn’t conform to a religious standard. ** I’D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT! ** (Click HERE or email me at glanger2202@gmail.com; or comment on this post in FB, TW, or Instagram.

As we share our experiences, I hope fewer people reject the 12 steps because of their use of the God idea. May we each find a positive power that works for our recovery and happiness!

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the negative thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

July 4, 2021July 4, 2021

REFRAMING THE LORD’S PRAYER

I just couldn’t wait to send you this new article about the Lord’s Prayer, hot off the (digital) “presses.”

I hope you find it of interest, and perhaps worth sharing.

The next monthly newsletter (or blog) is coming mid-July, as promised. (-:

Ack! They’re Saying The Lord’s Prayer!?!

Did you ever sit in a church or a 12-step meeting and cringe while they recited the Lord’s Prayer? I sure did! I wasn’t too sure of the wording, nor was I one-hundred percent willing to believe it.

After a few months of blindly repeating the prayer (I wanted to fit in, after all!), I found this helpful explanation from Unity church, and it still makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe it will appeal to you. Or not. Check it out.

PS. At the end of the article, I’ve included the link to the entire chapter on the Lord’s Prayer from Emmet Fox’s classic, The Sermon on the Mount. It’s worth reading!
With love from Gigi

The Lord’s Prayer (Unity Church of Ann Arbor)

Our Father who art in heaven: We are now yet more aware of your infinite and eternal presence, in whom we live and with which we think and create.
Hallowed be thy name: Your presence in us is whole and complete. It is the activity of health that heals, of intelligence that inspires, of substance that prospers, and of love that harmonizes. Your name—your nature—is perfection itself and truly worthy of our complete devotion. So, your name is hallowed.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven: We are your glorious possibility. We now let your perfect idea of us unfold in us and through us. Our desire for betterment is your desire to perfect that which you are expressing as us, as we let you have your way. We see ourselves doing that which you see us as being. We will to will thy will, and your heavenly kingdom is come—right here and now. Thank you, God.
Give us this day our daily bread: We really have no existence outside of your presence, for we are your presence expressing as us. Therefore, we can never be separated from the all-sufficient substance of your opulent universe. We now claim our divine inheritance, and perpetually manifest your abundant supply. So, you do give us now—this day—our daily bread. Thank, you, God.
Forgive us our debts (sins*) as we forgive our debtors (those who sin against us*): Your presence in us is our potential for dissolving all conflict or resentment. Your presence is Love, and it loves in us and through us as we forgive. It releases us as we loose and let go of all limited thoughts about ourselves or about those who seem like others. Yet we know that we are truly one in Spirit, so we forgive, and we are forgiven. Thank you, God.
Leave us not in temptation (Save us from the time of trial, and*) deliver us from evil (ego): Your presence in us is our light and our deliverance. There is no darkness in light, and there can be no darkness in us, as we are established in spiritual unity with your indwelling presence, which is “better than light and safer than a known way.” You do not leave us in temptation, but you do guide us through seeming trial. Thank you, God.
For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever: In all that we seek to be or do or have, we realize that only in your presence is our power to think, our very thought of aspiration. Your will is our will to commence. Your strength is our strength to continue. Your power is our power to achieve. And the glory of all our accomplishments belongs to You. Thank you, God.
Amen: This is the truth. It is done.
* Material with asterisk and in parentheses comes from the 1988 translation of the ecumenical English Language Liturgical Consultation (ELLC)

Emmet Fox’s Interpretation of the Lord’s Prayer

Emmet Fox – The Lord’s Prayer – The Sermon on the Mount

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now which describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

May 1, 2021July 4, 2021

Find A Power Greater Than Your Fears

How many of us wish, “If only I had the power to make things turn out the way I want them to!”

Let’s take a minute to look closely at these illusions of will and power. How well has trying to control others worked for you? Do you believe you can impose the changes you’d like to see on the world? Perhaps you’ve even struggled unsuccessfully to change your own fears and habits.

When you can admit that your unaided efforts to improve your own and others’ lives almost always fail, a wondrous alternative appears: You can trust a positive power to help you find peace and courage, no matter what’s going on in your life.

What Is Positive Power?

If you’re skeptical about what many call a “higher power,” let me assure you: You don’t need to worship a particular spiritual entity, religion, dogma, or philosophy. You’ll be defining this source in a way that works for you. You can be as unconventional or traditional as you want–as long as you tap into something greater than your fears.

How you come to understand this power is highly personal and your business only. You may find it in your mind, spirit, energy, or in the universe. Perhaps you’ll discover it through the hope and strength of supportive, healthy people. (However, consider carefully what they say and how they live their lives. Then take what works for you and leave the rest behind.)

How Can A Positive Power Help Me?

How can you put your positive power to work in your life? By making one single decision again and again: Reject your fear-filled thoughts and connect with your source of power. As you continue making this choice, you’ll discover a happy outlook and intuitive guidance for your problems.

Studies reported by Stephanie Castillo reveal that believers in such a power are happier than those who don’t believe. Cultivating loving thoughts, good feelings, and positive experiences reprograms your persistent, negative thinking. In the words of author Emmet Fox, “You cannot think one thing and produce another.”

Try it now

Memorize a prayer or affirmation and say it often, mindfully savor the beauty around you, try guided meditation, listen to inspiring speakers, join with positive people for fun and growth, say a kind word to a stranger or friend, list five things you’re grateful for each day, write in a journal, pray for those you resent, and/or practice loving self-compassion.

A Few Reminders about A “Higher Power”

You don’t need to intellectually understand a positive power for it to work for you
Fear and judgment keep you upset and alone; a loving power overcomes your fear and connects you with others.
With consistent practice and pleasing results, you’ll come to trust your positive power to bring you peace and happiness, no matter what is going on in your life.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now which describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

April 17, 2021April 17, 2021

SPIRITUAL GROWTH: ONLY THE RESULTS ARE VISIBLE!

I just had an ah-ha moment while reading this in A Course in Miracles (ACIM): “Learning is invisible, and what has been learned can be recognized only by its results.”

Why did this strike me as so significant? I used to think doing God’s will required visible effort that resulted in some abstract enlightenment or bliss.

Now I see that perhaps we best follow God’s will by first seeking invisible learning, and then witnessing the amazing visible results. To paraphrase ACIM, God’s presence can become compellingly real to us as it becomes manifest through our healed, loving behavior.

12 Steps to Learning and Results

The 12 Steps illustrate this process beautifully, as they teach us that a higher power can do for us what we can’t do for ourselves.

Steps 1-3 (admitting powerlessness, gaining strength through a higher power). As we learn about our personal powerlessness and a force greater than ourselves, we notice surprisingly visible changes in our lives: we’re enjoying meetings; we’re seeking out healthy, sober mentors and friends; and most important, we aren’t practicing our addictive habits (drinking, using, codependency, gambling, overeating, etc.).

Steps 4-9 (taking a moral inventory, addressing character defects, and making amends). As we learn to take responsibility for our self-centered fears, motives, and actions, we magically begin to act more generously towards ourselves and others. In short, our invisible internal changes precede our visible outer changes.

Learning Requires Action

Does this mean that we don’t take actions to foster our learning and internal growth? No! In 12-step programs, we choose to go to meetings, read the literature about our disease, and meet with a sponsor to take the steps. Our willingness to make these choices is a gift of grace.

Through these actions we begin to learn—to change inside. And those changes manifest through visible results. One might say that this quiet, spiritual learning shows up “in living color.”

Talk to anyone who’s been following the 12-step path, and you’ll find they’ve gained not only freedom from their addiction; they also have the families of their dreams, amazing jobs, peace of mind, and an enjoyment of life. In my case, after three divorces I’ve been happily married for 31 years, plus I’ve published an award-winning book. Amazing!

But what about the hard times? Even when the shit hits the fan, our spiritual learning makes us more resilient; we bounce back, better than ever. For example, we can deal with the painful effects of death, illness, job loss, divorce, and money troubles with the support of a higher power and the friends who stream loving care into our lives.

We Don’t Learn Alone

But there is one catch to spiritual learning: we can’t do it alone. We need teachers, guides, and buddies to visibly demonstrate a new way of being. Their example motivates us to learn what we need to get the same amazing results.

The step 11 Prayer of St. Francis best expresses this new life. We sow love instead of hatred, pardon instead of injury, faith instead of doubt, hope instead of despair, light instead of darkness, and joy instead of sadness; we seek to console rather than be consoled, to understand rather than to be understood—and most important of all—to love rather than to be loved.

Finally, step 12 teaches us to give it away; to foster others’ learning so they may also manifest the miracles of recovery. As we know, what we give returns it to us ten-fold.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Tag: recovery