Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

HOW TO QUIT THE “MASTER-BEATERS” CLUB

worry less now

Recently, I became extremely self-critical because I got “too busy” to pray, meditate, and go to meetings. When I hear that voice whispering its nasty lies, I’m reminded of how the “Master-Beaters Club” was born.

Self-Critical Lies

While having coffee one day, some sober women and I began to share how an internal voice constantly criticized us: We were bad people, couldn’t change, or weren’t worthy of love or care. In short, our fearful thoughts were beating up on us.

Suddenly, one woman said, “Well, let’s just call ourselves the ‘master-beaters club!” After a raucous laugh, we had already weakened this character flaw by naming it and laughing at it.

Ever since that day, when that self-condemning voice creeps into my head, I can reject it by having a good laugh as I recall our special “club.”

How to Stop Beating Ourselves up

As I grew in my trust of a Higher Power, I replaced that critical voice with God’s loving presence, often expressed through human angels (sometimes called “God-in-skin”). For example, my sponsor channeled love into me, and then others joined in, bringing me the care I had so desperately sought.

As I grew into my true self, I realized that my security was guaranteed by my wise God-self, and that my self-criticism had melted away. But, if I let up on my self-care, it can still creep in, as it did this morning.

Today, after talking with my sponsor, going to an Alanon meeting, and meditating, that self-beating voice has left. I now feel peaceful, happy, and free.  

More Ways to Quit the Master-Beaters Club

  • Make a gratitude list every day of at least 5 new items that are going well for you.
  • Create positive affirmations about your own worth. For example: “I am confident and positive.” “My worth is established by God.” or “I am a special person.”
  • Use guided meditations on self-worth and confidence. (I like Insight Timer)
  • Practice rigorous self-care: avoid self-destructive habits, eat well, exercise, sleep enough, hang out with healthy friends, and read/listen to inspiring words and stories.
  • Go to therapy to overcome negative patterns of acting and thinking.
  • Practice self-compassion as suggested by Kristen Neff

If we stay committed to our emotional and spiritual recovery, we come to believe that we are perfectly loved and fully able to love others. What a gift!

No more “Master-Beating” for me!

QUESTION: How do you stop the voice that sometimes beats you up?

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

WHAT DOES “THY WILL BE DONE” MEAN?

In so many of our prayers we say, “Thy will be done.”

But what does that really mean? 

Our 12-step literature tells us that “my will and my life” refer to “my thoughts and my actions.”

So, when I say, “Thy Will be done,” I’m asking to align my thoughts with God‘s mind. 

Today’s Course in Miracles lesson (45) states, “God is the mind with which I think.”

And it asks me to practice connecting with my Higher Power’s mind as the only source of my thinking. 

In the suggested exercise, we look past the ego’s fearful, resentful, judging, selfish thoughts, and choose instead to tune into Universal Intelligence’s thoughts. 

 So, “doing God‘s will” is choosing to think God‘s thoughts, and to be still long enough to ask for those thoughts instead of our fearful mind’s inventions.

 Simple, aye? WHAT DOES “THY WILL BE DONE” MEAN TO YOU??

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

TRICIA LEWIS & ME: RECOVERY HAPPY HOUR PODCAST “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE”

Thanks to Tricia Lewis for featuring me on her very cool PODCAST, Recovery Happy Hour. Tricia was emotionally and physically addicted to alcohol and took her last drink in November of 2016. As she says, “a life without booze is so much better than I ever imagined.” 

TRICIA’S OPENING TO THE RECOVERY HAPPY HOUR EPISODE

“How often do you get the chance to talk with someone who has almost 35 years of sobriety?? What an episode to end the year on!

On Episode 118, we’re talking with Gigi Langer, PhD. Her recovery began with a 12 Step program but the healing came with tons of other modalities over the last few decades. This is an episode jam packed with resources, so make sure you check out the show notes for links! Also, I talked about our “sliding doors” moments in today’s introduction, and how one decision to quit drinking can change the outcome of your life in ways beyond your comprehension.

TO LISTEN TO ME ON RECOVERY HAPPY HOUR, JUST CLICK HERE

https://recoveryhappyhour.libsyn.com/118-its-a-wonderful-life-gigi?fbclid=IwAR2vVPfUsClXXlVcWifpo-2wP8lKqSncrN9ko7Rd8VM4bcgjdrvBqbzFTPM

A BIG ANNIVERSARY!

I’m so grateful to announce that on January 11th, I celebrated 35 years of continuous sobriety. What a gift! But I’ve had to work for it through meetings, reading, service, and praying & meditating. The biggest contributors, however, have been my sponsors who helped me work the 12 steps, and my female “posse” of recovering women who have stuck by me through think and thin. In addition to these wonderful influences, I’ve had lots of help from therapists, mastermind partners, Unity church, energy workers, and doctors. The biggest “thank you” of all goes to my Higher Power, who has restored me to my true spiritual self.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

In Worry Less NowGigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating: 4.9 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS!

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS THAT JUST CARRY YOU AWAY AND COLOR YOUR WHOLE WORLD GRAY? Don’t worry! Such feelings are often created by fearful thoughts that aren’t even true.

SO, HERE’S THE TRUTH: We don’t have the means to make people and things exactly as we want them. We just aren’t that powerful.

For example, we live in the wreckage of our future (“Its going to be awful!”) or we create “unenforceable rules” (“This should (or should not happen”). Often, we try to change the past by thinking how it “could have” been better.

Such thoughts are driven by the fear-driven belief that, if we just think long and hard enough, we can protect ourselves (and our loved ones) from pain and harm.

HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: We can find peace of mind and contentment in the midst of our fearful feelings and thoughts. Why? BECAUSE WE CAN CHOOSE WHAT FILLS OUR MIND.

HOW? Meditation, walks outside, stretching, yoga, prayer, reading or watching inspiring books/movies, 12-step work, spiritual practices, energy work, and thought-correction can all soothe our most difficult feelings. Good healthy friends or counselors really help too.

When we get still and listen to our inner wisdom (or that of another), we receive the comfort of ACCEPTANCE (non-attachment to specific outcomes). Further, we find ways to address those problems that still bother us—IF they are still bothering us (quite often, they’ve shrunken down to nothing!).

NEXT TIME YOUR FEELINGS are having a hissy fit, stand apart from them for a moment to recognize they’re mostly a result of inaccurate and disturbing thoughts. Then, ask yourself, “What healthy actions can I take to soothe my mind and body?” And then, do that!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITE WAYS OF SOOTHING UPSET FEELINGS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. THANKS!!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

REVIEW by Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.”