According to the Mayo Clinic, people who worry less have better physical health, lower risks of stroke or heart disease, and higher overall survival rates. They also have better emotional health, less depression, more harmonious relationships, and are more equipped to solve lifeâs problems.
We all want such benefits, right? But weâve got to stop worrying so much! FIND YOUR PERSONAL WORRY SCORE AND HELPFUL HINTS BY CLICKING THIS LINK
For example:
According to Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, these “shoulds” are examples of unenforceable rules: They demand an outcome you believe must come true, but over which you have no control. Such inflexible beliefs make us helpless, angry, hurt, hopeless or bitter.
Although holding an unenforceable rule may feel good–even noble–it doesnât mean you can make it happen. In the first example, the daughter should stop using drugs, but no matter how persuasive the motherâs arguments, she doesnât have the power to make her daughter stop.
The mother does, however, have control over her own choices and behavior. She can seek help from a therapist or Al-Anon, and claim a positive power to work in the situation. Then she might choose a goal for how she wants to act and feel, detach from the result, and use growth tools for her own peace of mind, regardless of her daughterâs choices.
One of my own unenforceable rules became clear as I was writing this book. When my mother passed away, I found it difficult to write and became discouraged by my lack of progress.
When I honestly faced the belief that I must complete the book by a certain date, I became willing to see it differently. After using Tool 6, Is It True? I turned my whispered lie around to âI will finish writing the book at the perfect time.â In turn, I became more flexible and kinder with myself.
The essence of happiness is peacefully allowing life to unfold. Nothing becomes a live-or-die situation because you know your loving power is working things out, with results that may far surpass your greatest hopes.
(Excerpt taken from page 56-57 of Gigi Langerâs award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now)
Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a seasoned author and popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasnât had a drug or drink for over 30 years, although she does occasionally overindulge in Ghirardelli chocolate and historical novels.
Her book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now (available HERE in paperback, e-book, & audiobook) has gained rave reviews (4.8 on Amazon) and a publishing award.
This is such a cool video podcast for recovering people! Itâs a lot of fun and so helpful to anyone struggling with substance abuse.
Thanks to Bizzy for our conversation about how to stay sober in spite of our STINKIN thinkin!
đŁ Here it is! Click on the link, not the photo đ
http://busylivingsober.com/podcasts/2020/7/9/episode-183-author-gigi-langer
Elizabeth L. âBizzyâ Chance, CRS, is the founder and owner of Busy Living SoberTM, a network dedicated to bringing addiction out of the shadows and educating society that addiction is a disease, not who you are. She is a leading expert in the field of recovery management, widely known for her work as a consultant, family coach, and her social media presence.
Elizabeth earned her certification as a Certified Recovery Specialist (CRS) from the state of Pennsylvania. She is a graduate of George Washington University with a degree in communications, and her work experience includes time at QVC and CBS Television.
Elizabeth is in long-term recovery herself over a decade. Hence, she feels able to form a compassionate and meaningful bond with addicts. She has always gravitated towards anyone new to recovery because of her own personal story, which gives her an innate sense for helping them achieve and maintain recovery.
Busy Living SoberTM is to eliminate the shame of addiction through open and honest communication.
Elizabeth currently resides in Wayne, Pennsylvania with her husband and three teenage children.
“The definition of addiction is the inability to control oneâs use over a substance.â
Recently, someone asked me to name 7Â negative things we do everyday that block happiness, with suggestions for what to do instead.Â
That’s a “Pretty Good Question!” I thought. “I’ll give it a try!”   Here’s my list of seven.
What would you add? Write your ideas in the “Comments” section at the end.
7 THINGS THAT BLOCK HAPPINESS AND HOW TO CHANGE THEM
1 Saying âI canât . . ”  Change it to âUp until now I couldnât . . â
2 Saying âI always . . ” Change it to âIn the past Iâve . . â or “I used to . . ”
3 Reading email and texts first thing in the morning. Instead, meditate, read inspiring words, journal, or pray, (like Kermit & I do!)
4 Criticizing or Gossiping. Instead, look for whatâs strong, positive, and good about a person or situation. Avoid complainers.
5 Saying, âYou should . .â or âHe should (or ought to) . . â Instead, admit that you may not know best and, even if you did, itâs not your job to change others.
6 Drinking or drugging in a way thatâs harming your relationships, health, or safety. Instead, get into a recovery program or therapy.
7 Thinking about what you’ll say next while “listening” to another. Then responding with your own story or advice. Instead, listen with all of your mind & heart. Try to understand what the person is saying by asking for clarification, e.g., âYou mentioned (âŚ). Tell me more about that. What was that like for you?â Listen to the answer and then probe for more detail. Talk less. Listen more. Ask more questions.
OKAY, IT’S YOUR TURN. In the Comments section below, list the bad habit that blocks your own happiness. Be sure to add the “instead” behavior. We really need your suggestions!
I can’t wait to see what you post!!
Gigi Langer holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education, both from Stanford.
Sheâs also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection (February, 2018), available in e-book formats and in print from Amazon. Â
âLangerâs frank and empathetic tone will comfort readers, as will the practical steps she teaches.â (Featured Book, BookLife by Publishers Weekly)Â Â Â
âHer honesty will blow you away! It is beautifully written; filled with humor and authenticity.â (Member of Al Anon)]
Receive monthly updates and helpful tips from Gigi