Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

Attitudinal Healing Principle 5: Now is The only Time There Is

image of book cover: attitudinal healing

Jerry Jampolsky, one of the early readers of A Course in Miracles, simplified its complex lessons into the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing (AH). AH groups have grown into a worldwide service that can be applied to almost any difficulty. 

In my recent blogs, I summarized the first four AH principles:
Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love, and Love is Eternal
Principle 2. Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go of Fear
Principle 3. Giving Is the Same As Receiving
Principle 4. We Can Let Go of The Past And of The Future

Principle 5. Now Is The only Time There Is: Pain, grief, depression, guilt, and other forms of fear disappear when the mind is focused in loving peace on this instant.  

In Teach only Love, Jerry Jampolsky writes: “The present is the only time we can choose between love and fear. When we fret about the past or worry about what to do in the future, we accomplish nothing, and this generates various forms of pain. A mental shift back into the present helps remove the source of misery. “

 “I have been impressed with how quickly pain can disappear when we direct our attention outside ourselves in a caring way toward others. This care or joining can be in our willingness to receive love as well as our willingness to give direct help to another.”  

“Our present thoughts and choices are the sole determiner of our present experience. In essence, NOW is the only time there is. It is in the NOW that the love energy comes through us. It is in the NOW that we are not judgmental and we can see clearly what is going on. We cannot control the external world. We will never be peaceful if we try to do so. We can, however, learn to control our thoughts. As we change our thoughts from those of getting to those of giving, we will start to notice evident changes in the outside world.”

Suggestions for Living in the Present

“If we stay in the present, we are best able to deal with anything that comes our way. If we are someplace else, it is not possible to make decisions. 
1) Fear of Future. “How simple it is to acknowledge that we are not in a position to see the outcome of anything, and that all the worry in the world cannot control the future. Simplicity lies in putting effort before results.”
2) Fear of Past. If we analyze the cause of each of our mistakes, we are living in a past that can’t be changed. “How simple it is to resign as our own teacher–to turn quickly from the past, because the present is where our life is taking place.” 
3) Judging is not Love: “We are not responding to this instant if we are judging any aspect of it. The ego looks around for something to criticize, for shortcomings and weaknesses, usually in the past. Love looks upon the world peacefully and accepts; it searches for any sign of light and strength.”  

More About Attitudinal Healing

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. Many years ago, I joined my mentor, Jane Stallings, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. There, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased). What a wonderful contribution he has made to the world!

Source material: Teach only Love by Jerry Jampolsky and AH Review Principles Booklet

Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is now available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE. PAPERBACK ($9.99) E-BOOK ($4.99) These low prices last through April, so get your copy now!
Thank you for helping readers find Love More Now by POSTING a REVIEW on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 37 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Her 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won an Indie Excellence Award in 2019. Gigi worked at Eastern Michigan University for 25 years, and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now

Attitudinal Healing Principle 6: Forgiving Ourselves and Others

Jerry Jampolsky, one of the early readers of A Course in Miracles, simplified its complex lessons into the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing (AH). AH groups have grown into a worldwide service that can be applied to almost any difficulty. Today we talk about the process of forgiving, described in the sixth principle.

 In my recent blogs, I’ve summarized the first five AH principles:
Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love, and Love is Eternal
Principle 2. Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go of Fear
Principle 3. Giving Is the Same As Receiving
Principle 4. We Can Let Go of The Past And of The Future

Principle 5. Now is the Only Time There Is

Principle 6. We Can Learn to Love Ourselves and Others by Forgiving Rather than Judging

In Teach only Love, Jerry Jampolsky writes: “Forgiveness is the way to true health and happiness. When we choose to see everyone as a teacher of forgiveness, each moment gives us an opportunity for happiness, peace, and love.”

The AH Review Principles Booklet states: “Whenever we make a judgment on another person, we make a judgment on ourselves. Forgiving, in the Attitudinal Healing sense, does not mean condoning or agreeing with another’s behavior or setting ourselves apart and choosing to forgive someone because we feel they did something wrong. It merely means that forgiveness is a vehicle to clarify our misperceptions.


Simply stated, FORGIVENESS IS LETTING GO–choosing not to hang on to a belief that will cause us inner turmoil. In the sense of self, it is up to us to forgive ourselves first by taking responsibility for loving ourselves enough to no longer suffer and to become self-fulfilled.

Using an “attack” as an example, there is a concept in the Course in Miracles that helps us to look at another person not as attacking us, but as either asking for help or needing love. In relationships, this is often a most difficult principle to grasp, because our ego mind says that we are being attacked. The fact, however, is that there are no true realities, only perceptions.

A perception is something that, with focus and willingness, our minds are able to change. If we learn to see ourselves as the essence of love, we will have no need to defend ourselves and we can look at the other person in a different light. If we can start to realize that it is only in the places that we feel unconfident or lacking in some way that we can ‘have our buttons pushed.’

When we feel OK about ourselves, there is less of a problem with how another person is behaving. Again, it is only our own perceptions that make us feel that we are being attacked. We have the choice to fill up with the powerful love energy so that we are able to not even have to defend ourselves.

More About Attitudinal Healing

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. Many years ago, I joined my mentor, Jane Stallings, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. There, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased). What a wonderful contribution he has made to the world!

Source material: Teach only Love by Jerry Jampolsky and AH Review Principles Booklet

Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is now available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE. PAPERBACK ($9.99) E-BOOK ($4.99) These low prices are temporary, so get your copy now!
Thank you for helping readers find Love More Now by POSTING a REVIEW on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 37 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Her 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won an Indie Excellence Award in 2019. Gigi worked at Eastern Michigan University for 25 years, and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now

Attitudinal Healing Principle 5: Now is The only Time There Is

image of book cover: attitudinal healing

Jerry Jampolsky, one of the early readers of A Course in Miracles, simplified its complex lessons into the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing (AH). AH groups have grown into a worldwide service that can be applied to almost any difficulty. 

In my recent blogs, I summarized the first four AH principles:
Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love, and Love is Eternal
Principle 2. Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go of Fear
Principle 3. Giving Is the Same As Receiving
Principle 4. We Can Let Go of The Past And of The Future

Principle 5. Now Is The only Time There Is: Pain, grief, depression, guilt, and other forms of fear disappear when the mind is focused in loving peace on this instant.  

In Teach only Love, Jerry Jampolsky writes: “The present is the only time we can choose between love and fear. When we fret about the past or worry about what to do in the future, we accomplish nothing, and this generates various forms of pain. A mental shift back into the present helps remove the source of misery. “

 “I have been impressed with how quickly pain can disappear when we direct our attention outside ourselves in a caring way toward others. This care or joining can be in our willingness to receive love as well as our willingness to give direct help to another.”  

“Our present thoughts and choices are the sole determiner of our present experience. In essence, NOW is the only time there is. It is in the NOW that the love energy comes through us. It is in the NOW that we are not judgmental and we can see clearly what is going on. We cannot control the external world. We will never be peaceful if we try to do so. We can, however, learn to control our thoughts. As we change our thoughts from those of getting to those of giving, we will start to notice evident changes in the outside world.”

Suggestions for Living in the Present

“If we stay in the present, we are best able to deal with anything that comes our way. If we are someplace else, it is not possible to make decisions. 
1) Fear of Future. “How simple it is to acknowledge that we are not in a position to see the outcome of anything, and that all the worry in the world cannot control the future. Simplicity lies in putting effort before results.”
2) Fear of Past. If we analyze the cause of each of our mistakes, we are living in a past that can’t be changed. “How simple it is to resign as our own teacher–to turn quickly from the past, because the present is where our life is taking place.” 
3) Judging is not Love: “We are not responding to this instant if we are judging any aspect of it. The ego looks around for something to criticize, for shortcomings and weaknesses, usually in the past. Love looks upon the world peacefully and accepts; it searches for any sign of light and strength.”  

More About Attitudinal Healing

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. Many years ago, I joined my mentor, Jane Stallings, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. There, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased). What a wonderful contribution he has made to the world!

Source material: Teach only Love by Jerry Jampolsky and AH Review Principles Booklet

Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is now available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE. PAPERBACK ($9.99) E-BOOK ($4.99) These low prices last through April, so get your copy now!
Thank you for helping readers find Love More Now by POSTING a REVIEW on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 37 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Her 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won an Indie Excellence Award in 2019. Gigi worked at Eastern Michigan University for 25 years, and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now

CAN WE GIVE TO OTHERS WHAT WE WANT TO RECEIVE?

give to others worry less now

What do we want? At the most basic level, we all want to be loved. We want to feel safe, accepted and cared for. Many of us spend our entire lives in a headlong search for these basics, only to fail in our quest. Likely, it’s because we’ve had it backwards: We can only receive for ourselves what we give to others.

If we want loving care for ourselves, then why is it so hard to give it to others? One answer: the fearful self (ego) perceives a limited amount of love in the world, and believes if we give it away, we’ll lose it forever. But the opposite is true: in the world of our spiritual selves, love is unlimited; in fact it only grows when we give it away. But so often we don’t.

Resistance to Love

Have you ever found yourself thinking of calling someone, and then withholding it or putting it off? I do. Often! Love’s voice might sound like this: You should call ____; they could use some support. Then ego closes my heart and whispers, You don’t have time, or They don’t really need your call. The excuses proliferate: You might be disturbing them. Why would they want to talk to you anyway?  

What’s up with that? Well, somewhere deep in my shadow, I’m resisting caring for that person, based on something they either did or didn’t do. Or they might remind me of some painful situation, and my fear-filled thoughts get so loud they distract me from taking loving action.

When we give in to such resentments, we unwittingly cut off love for ourselves—the exact thing we’ve been searching for! We just can’t receive what we’re unable to give. (Although, in recovery and spiritual communities, the generous love given to us often melts our resistance.)

Learning to Open Our Hearts

Learning to give and receive love heals the patterns that have sabotaged our past relationships. This journey requires a few commitments: Abstaining from numbing our feelings with romance, food, alcohol, or other mind-altering substances; joining regularly with people who are growing out of self-centered fear and into their open-hearted selves; and finally, doing the work by using many daily tools to replace our negativity with love—for God, ourselves, and everyone else.  

For me, the Twelve Steps, therapy, and my Course in Miracles study groups have totally transformed my life. Although I may sometimes resist my heart’s call to give love, I notice this, ask my higher power to reshape my negative thoughts, and move forward with love and care.

Although it’s a joy to live this way, I must admit, I don’t follow my own advice every minute of every day. For example, I’d rather be writing this than reaching out to my sister. I think I’ll call her now! (I just did, and it was a wonderful conversation!)

When we give open-hearted  love to others, they can offer it to another, who then opens their heart to another, and so on. It’s a beautiful chain of light that begins when we reject our self-centered fear and choose to love instead.

I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:

HOW DO YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO OTHERS?  WHAT HAS HELPED YOU GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE?

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE)