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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

Tag: 12 Steps

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Reject Fear through A Course in Miracles

a course in miracles

More than 30 years ago, feeling beaten down by my seedy lifestyle, I asked my mentor, Jane, how she remained so peaceful. She said she studied a book called A Course in Miracles (ACiM).

A few years later, Jane sent me Love Is Letting Go of Fear (a summary of the Course’s main principles), and I clung to it like a life raft! At 35, I was in my third marriage which was already in a shambles due to my lying and substance abuse.

Three years later, I quit drinking and asked a sponsor to help me work the Twelve Steps. It was no coincidence that she also studied ACIM, and soon included me in a study group. Since then I’ve joined a few different groups, and have found this to be the best spiritual path for me.

Why does it fit me so well? You might recall that I refer to myself as the “former queen of worry.” My study of ACIM teaches me how to dissolve my fears, anxiety, resentments, and selfishness. And, during the year 2020, I have needed every lesson it has taught me to live with peace and trust!

What is A Course in Miracles? (from Wikipedia)

The purpose of the book, A Course in Miracles (ACIM), is to bring about a “spiritual transformation.  In 1965, Helen Schucman began working at a medical center as Bill Thetford’s research associate. When their weekly office meetings became quite contentious, Thetford concluded that “[t]here must be another way.” Schucman believed this interaction triggered a series of visions, dreams, and heightened imagery, along with an “inner voice” that told her: “This is a Course in Miracles, please take notes.” The next day, she explained her “note taking” to Thetford. To her surprise, he encouraged her to continue the process. Schucman said that the writing made her very uncomfortable, though it never seriously occurred to her to stop. The transcription was completed in 1977. ACIM is published by the Foundation for Inner Peace in Novato, CA.

General Principles of ACIM : Gigi’s Ideas (Workbook lesson number in parentheses)

A miracle is a shift in perception. We choose God’s loving thoughts over ego’s fearful thoughts.  We can align our minds with either Love or Fear.

Love: God. Spirit. The only reality. Everything that comes from love is good: e.g., peace, service, care.

Fear: The ego. Illusions. The part of the mind that knows only fear: judging, separating, attacking. God did not create the ego. It’s driven by bodily instincts for survival and competition. When people operate out of fear, it’s simply an appeal for help.

Who Am I, Really? “We’re spiritual beings living in a human body.”

I am a beloved child of God. I am spirit. (But I’ve forgotten this.) (114)

I am not a body. I am free, for I am still as God created me. (201)

God is in my mind. My mind holds only what I think with God. (141)

Don’t Trust Ego’s Thoughts

Ego’s voice is the first one and the loudest one we hear. It tells us happiness is not in God; that it’s in worldly people, places & things.

I’m never upset for the reason I think. (5)

I’m upset because I see something that isn’t there. (6)

I see only the past. (7) I have no neutral thoughts. (23)

The world I see holds nothing I want. (128)

We Are Free

We’re sinless in God’s Eyes: We love ourselves and others because God does. Fear (ego) separates us from our own spirit AND one another.

When people operate out of fear, it is simply an appeal for help.

What I see is a form of vengeance (attack/defense). (22) (but it’s not true)

My grievances hide the light of the world. (69)

There’s Only One of Us Here

What we see in another is what we believe about ourselves. As we love and forgive others, we dissolve our sense of separation from God  and our fellows. We’re students and teachers to one other.

To give and receive are one in truth. (108)

All that I give is given to myself. (126)

I’m not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. (18)

How to Escape Ego and Fear

Every time we’re disturbed, we need to reject ego’s negative perceptions and ask God (Love) to help us see things differently. According to ACIM, there is no “order of difficulty” to either problems or miracles. They’re all the same: either misperceptions or the truth.

I Want to Be Free of Ego’s Perceptions

I share God’s will for happiness for me. (102)

I am not the victim of the world I see. (31)

The past is over. It can touch me not. (289)

I could see peace instead of this. (34)

I Choose Love over Fear

I am determined to see this differently. (21)

Let miracles replace all grievances. (78)

Let every voice but God’s be still in me. (254)

I rest in God. (109)

Love is the way I walk in gratitude. (195)

Want to Learn More?

Start with Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love, then join a study group. I’ve found Karen Casey’s Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course and 52 Ways to Live The Course in Miracles to be very helpful. 

gigilanger_worrylessnow

Gigi Langer has studied ACIM since 1988. She now attends Course study groups in Michigan and Florida.  Langer is a certified facilitator of Gerald Jampolsky’s Attitudinal Healing, a program that helps children and adults struggling with disease apply the ideas from ACIM.

Gigi Langer’s new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection was published by Possum Hill Press in February, 2018. Get a signed copy here.

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ESCAPE THE BONDAGE OF SELF

worry less now bondage of self gigi langer

One of my favorite prayers is the Third Step Prayer from Alcoholics Anonymous.

God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. 

May I do Thy will always. 

Note that I’ve highlighted the second sentence because this simple request has completely transformed me from a fearful, addicted woman to the peaceful, happy person I am today.

So, let’s pick it apart, shall we?   

RELIEVE ME OF THE BONDAGE OF SELF

What does the “bondage of self” look like? It’s the fear-driven self run amok, perpetually seeking love and security in all the wrong places. It wages a constant battle of self-sufficiency, all while crying, “I shall manage.” This “me, myself, and I” thinks it has everything handled, but it keeps failing, especially in relationships.

Faced with failure, it just keeps trying harder and harder to control people, places, and things. Such a mind suffers from the delusion that, if everything were different, it could finally be happy.

When in the grip of the bondage of self, we are often

  • angry and judging
  • dishonest (to ourselves and others)
  • selfish and inconsiderate
  • greedy for material and emotional security
  • unable to take responsibility for our actions (often blaming others)

Many refer to this driving fear as the “ego” because it “eases God out.” In short, the ego’s bondage of self shuts out higher power’s love—but only until we wake up and ask God to change our perspective.

THAT I MAY BETTER DO THY WILL

So, what’s God’s will, anyway? I believe it’s to love God and one another. Unfortunately, when the ego’s in charge, we’re anything but loving. And we certainly aren’t peaceful—the one state in which our minds are most receptive to inspiration and generosity.

When we notice ourselves bound by worry, fear, condemnation, and anger, we can ask our higher power to take over our minds. For example, when reading the news, I often become scared about my own safety. If I’m clear and honest with myself, I admit that I’m disturbed, and then simply ask, “Help me to see this differently.”  

Because our minds love to focus on the negative, I need to make this request quite often; but eventually, I find my body and mind at peace. As the bondage of fear is released, my spirit opens to giving and receiving loving care. As I join with others in growth and service, my life becomes joyous.

But, then something else will scare me, and I’ll feel the fearful self tightening its hold. When I tune in and notice that I’m tense, I can then ask to see things differently. I might say a prayer, meditate, call a trusted friend, or read inspiring lessons. Again, I’ll have to stick with it to recover my peace of mind and again trust spirit’s grace.

Perhaps the only error we make is in resisting the human experience by letting our ego scream “No!” to whatever we don’t like. But, over time, we relinquish our need for control by getting quiet and receiving healing, courage, and comfort.

The more we cultivate this conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves, the more we’re guided to the right attitudes and actions. And soon, we trust that, in spite of appearances, “All is well” in the realm of spirit. What a relief!

In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.9 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

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Cross Out The “I” of Ego’s Self-Will

worry less now gigi langer

I recently heard this spiritual message: We need to cast into the “sea of forgetfulness” the ego’s creations of self loathing, hatred, and missteps—because none of these represents the goodness of our true nature.

The Sea of Forgetfulness

It’s similar to A Course in Miracles: Nothing is real except love, the perfect truth of God’s creation. When we cast into the sea of forgetfulness our ego’s self-centered fear,  dishonesty, worry, and judging of others, we’ve claimed the miracle of Love.

For those of us recovering from addictions, these figments of self-will (especially resentments) threaten the fine balance of our spiritual fitness and, thus, our sobriety.

Unfortunately, when we let self-centered fear drive our decisions, we’ve elevated our ego, the almighty “I,” to the role of God–a sure recipe for disaster.

Crossing Out The “I” of Ego

Pondering the ego’s fixation on “me, myself, and I” reminds me of these words from a priest in Rumer Godden’s lovely book, In This House of Brede,

“The cross is ‘I’ crossed out.”

In this phrase, the cross-bar of God’s loving power “crosses out” the upright post of the “I” —all that is not love. As a result, we become generous and true to our highest self.

Do you want to live from this true source of love? Then work on rejecting the demands of the “I” for more security, more prestige, and more power. Instead, try molding your thoughts and dreams to the eternal truth of God’s will: goodness for all.

Pray, study spiritual teachings, meditate, help others—in short, become less focused on the “I” of your own self-seeking ego. You won’t believe the transformation in your life, creativity, and relationships,

In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

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My 2020 Inventory: Don’t Hold Back!

“Searching within myself, I will patiently, trustingly share myself with others.” — Karen Casey (Best-selling Hazelden author)

Back in the 80s, my favorite spiritual author, Karen Casey, wrote “Each Day a New Beginning” for women in recovery, and it has sustained me through these many years. The quote above is particularly relevant as I start this year. I now see clearly (20 20 vision, right?) a major way I’ve been resisting God’s will. Here’s a quick inventory of my tendency to hold back.

  • Recently, I realized I’ve never memorized the Step 7 prayer exactly as written. Soon after that, a stranger in a 12-step program gave me a card with the prayer on it. So, I started saying it.
  • I also noticed a creeping opposition to doing things I was called to do. Whispered lies crept into my mind: “Oh, that would be too much work.” “I just don’t feel like doing that.” “Haven’t I done enough?”
  • By resisting those nudges, I knew I was letting my self-will override God’s direction. So, I put a sticky note in my car: “Thy Will Be Done; Not Mine.” I see it many times a day.
  • Perhaps it’s been sinking in, because I now offer you my 4th & 5th step inventory: My fearful self has always told me to “Hold Back!” Hold back smiles to strangers. Hold back chats with neighbors. Hold back calling others on the phone. Hold back compliments, etc.
  • When I get the opportunity to do kind acts, I usually talk myself out of it. I tell myself I’m an introvert, or that I’m not good at “small talk,” or that I don’t have time.
  • But mostly it’s about (1) the false belief, “If I give love away, it might never return; there’s not enough to go around” and (2) fear of getting enmeshed, controlled, hurt, or inconvenienced. (Yup, I grew up in an alcoholic home.)
  • My 6th step character defects are self-will (pride) and fear (insecurity). In short, I’ve resisted God’s will to love and serve others; and  I haven’t trusted my Higher Power to keep me safe and secure.
  • I now say the 7th step prayer: “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go from here, to do your bidding.”  

Long ago I learned that God can supply every need, and that my worth and safety are established by my Higher Power. But, being human, I forget. In recovery, we learn that our happiness is dependent upon our spiritual condition. As Karen Casey wrote, “Sincerely touching the soul of someone else can tap the well of happiness within each of us.” That’s my plan for 2020!

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer, PhD.  Many years ago, I used alcohol, romance, and professional accomplishments to soothe my frayed nerves. Over time, I discovered effective tools from therapy, recovery pro­grams, scientific research, and a variety of philosophical and spiritual teachings. I share those techniques in my blog and book so you can find peace of mind and wisdom, no matter what is bothering you.

Worry Less Now Cover

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how I and others have defeated the faulty thinking leading to dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, addiction, and worry about loved ones. Gain practical strategies, personal stories, and guided activities. Amazon: 5 stars (51 reviews) (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

REVIEWS:  Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.” Anonymous Reader: “Your Book certainly transformed my life!  All I can say is, THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER” 

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