Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

FREEDOM FROM SELF-SABOTAGE (by Harriet Hunter)

miracles of recoveryHarriet Hunter has written one of the best daily meditation books I’ve seen in a long time. I just love reading it each morning. Below is an excerpt of the April 21st meditation (p. 123) from Miracles of Recovery: Daily Meditations of Hope, Courage.    (Order book Here)

“How many times have we heard others put someone down with, ‘You’re not good enough to do that,’ or ‘You’ll never be able to. . .’?  Do these or similar statements resonate within you?

“These are the telltale signs of self-sabotage“Self-sabotage is the mechanism used to denigrate our power, as if we have none at all.  “We become what we think. We need to stop rehearsing our rejections.

“Over time, self-sabotage becomes form fitting, snug in the mis-identification of our self-worth. It feels familiar, safe and warm. We know self-sabotage well because we’ve endured it for a lifetime.

“Somewhere we heard we should promote others while sacrificing ourselves to gain friends and keep the peace. To do so would be to tell ourselves the greatest lie of all: We deserve nothing, but others do. Treating ourselves with the same gentleness and loving care we give to family and others is what we need.

“There is plenty of inner strength and fortitude already deep inside, and we deserve to hear it reflected in our voice.

“So why not let it begin with us? No longer can we allow ourselves to take part in self-deprecating talk. Our voice is listening, waiting for the echo of words that promise love and kindness for who we are.

“When we change the way we see ourselves, we get to change our lives and the way others see us too, with resonating confidence.”

Today’s Meditation
“Today I am conscious of how others speak to me and how it makes me feel. I will not accept negative, demeaning talk from anyone–even me–as I recreate with loving care who I want to be.“

harrietHunter GigiLangerHarriet Hunter (shown here with me at the Venice FL Book Fair) is the author of the 2018 Miracles of Recovery: Daily Meditations of Hope, Courage. She is a person in long-term recovery, an expert on journaling, and an inspiration to all who know her.  Her book is fabulous! Order book HERE Website here     FB: Harriet Hunter Author

Recovery: 5 Ways to Fill up Your “Sanity Bank”

In early recovery, we want relief from our messy situations—right now! But rather than focusing on those situations, we need to do the necessary footwork to heal ourselves. Think of it as filling up your “Sanity Bank.” As you fill up the bank, it yields miracles both inside and around you.

Five kinds of footwork help you make deposits into your Sanity Bank:

  1. Attending meetings: Go early, stay late, make sober friends (no romance!).
  2. Working the 12 steps with a sponsor: Meet regularly to work on recovery.
  3. Reading A.A. and other literature, e.g., Hazelden.
  4. Praying and meditating daily: Quiet time, read, pray, meditate.
  5. Service: Help with group tasks, talk to newcomers, sponsor others.

This list shows the difference between a healthy and a sick and life.  Surely we want the former.

-Clean, Sober & Clear versus Drugs/Alcohol, Sex & Worry

-Honest, Open & Willing vs. Denial 

-Trust God’s Care vs. EGO = Ease God Out 

-Turn it Over to Higher Power vs. “ISM” = ”I Shall Manage” 

-Love (Trust God/Power) vs. Fear (Victim Mentality) 

-Helping Others (no strings) vs. Self-Centered

-Higher Power provides all I need.” vs. ”I must have more of . . .”

 But why are we accumulating these “sane” riches? For the day when we need them. When we are down in the dumps, we can make a withdrawal from our Sanity Bank. We may receive comfort from a friend or ask our Higher Power for a different perspective.

Our Sanity Bank often surprises us with unsolicited gifts, similar to interest payments or dividends. We might receive an unexpected answer to a prayer, a positive change in a challenging situation, or money right out of the blue.

Like any system, the Sanity Bank can get out of kilter. Especially during the good times, it’s easy to become complacent. Life is going so well that we “forget” to do our footwork.  At such times, our bank’s riches are getting dangerously low, often without our own awareness.  Perhaps we:

  • Revert to old ways of “looking for love in all the wrong places:” TV binging, excessive partying, seductive games, overeating, or workaholism.
  • Stop meeting with healthy others and start hanging out with negative friends.
  • Become self-centered and grouchy with our loved ones.

Then, when the shit hits the fan, there’s little sanity left to draw upon. As stinkin’ thinkin’ creeps in, we see troubling events as catastrophic,  worry about the future, and indulge our anger about the past.

Fortunately, when you reach this state, you can refill your Sanity Bank through a crash-course of footwork. Go to extra meetings, call your sponsor, give a ride to a newcomer, or memorize a new prayer. Here’s one of my favorite meditations.    May it bless your sanity!

 May I be at peace; May my heart remain open; May I awaken to the light of my own true nature; May I be healed; May I be a source of healing to all others. 

worry , recovery, sanityGigi Langer, PhD has more than 35 years of experience in psychology, therapy, and recovery. She is a sought-after speaker on professional and personal growth. Gigi has co-authored five other books and is an award-winning writer.  Her latest book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, will be released in March 2018