I GOT TO PLAY WITH THESE LITTLE ONES!
As many of you know, I have never had children–couldn’t stay married long enough! And. although I’ve been close to my grand-niece, Layne, she’s always lived far away, so I had little time with her when she was young. So, please indulge me as I share a few pics of my wonderful visit with my youngest grand nieces and nephews: Sofia and Tomas.
Last month I went to Seattle (Puyallup) to help my sister Marcia take care of her four grandchildren–two teenagers and 6-year-old twins!–while their parents enjoyed a dream-trip to the Holy Land. My other sister, Cissy, joined us for a week so we could all be together.
We had so so much fun! The two older children were a great help and pretty self-sufficient. But of course, the twins wanted to play and enjoy their grand-aunts! And boy, did we ever play! Soccer practice, library, shopping, game arcades, and Easter festivities, including a wonderful church service and a home-made Easter-egg hunt.
What Else Have I Been Doing? Resting!
Needless to say, I did very little “work” on marketing my new book, Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart. I just needed to rest, and ignore that voice that said, “You gotta be doing X or Y, because…” When I heard it, my entire being said, “No! I will not obey that driving force today. I will do what feels right, and ‘working’ just doesn’t appeal right now.”
Of course, when I tried to ignore that voice, I got a very uncomfortable feeling right in my gut. And my self-preoccupation just increased (“Are we okay? Am I depressed? Why don’t I want to work?” What will happen if I don’t force myself? But, I stuck with it. Those old survival strategies (“If I don’t perform, I won’t be loved”) just hate to be challenged!
In spite of all this resistance, my True Self was very clear: It was time to stop the constant “tense striving.” Then, as always happens when we’re ready to let go of an old character flaw, just the right experiences turned up. Here are some of the practices that dissolved the fears underneath my self-centered striving so I could open my heart to the guidance of Loving Energy (God) and my True Self.
- Naples of Unity Lenten Daily Meditations. The church across the street has a new minister, Rev Claudia Rene. I had heard good things about her, and noticed she was offering daily meditations online every day for the 40 days of Lent. I’ve never really tried to “give something up” for Lent, but I was quite willing to let go of my constant striving. So I signed up. OMG! Those 40 days transformed my fears into vague shadows.
- Twelve-Step Retreat. My sponsee (the irrepressible Harriet Hunter), and I had planned to go to St. Leo’s Quest retreat in Tampa and it came at the perfect time. The main theme was meditation, but the fellowship and sharing truly opened my heart to myself with compassion. I didn’t have to resist this transformation that was going on inside my heart and mind.
- “I rest in God.” This mantra came up in my Monday night Course in Miracles Study Group with Karen Casey. One dear friend shared how she repeats this phrase as she tries to calm her mind of worries about her family, health, and life. For some reason, I was entirely ready to absorb this lesson. Yes, I can REST—without striving—because my higher power has my back and is taking care of all the things I thought I had to work so hard to “get.”
- Michael Singer’s Untethered Soul. In spite of how often I’d heard friends rave about this book, I had resisted reading it–partly because I was writing Love More Now, and didn’t want another writer’s voice in my head. But now I can see that I read it at just the right time—last week, in fact! WOW! What an amazing use of detailed metaphors to illustrate how our fears have been closing our hearts—needlessly. There is no need to defend ourselves from our fears and old patterns, as we are already resting in the security of God.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, LIFE IS CALM AGAIN AS I REST IN THE CENTER OF MY SOULD AND LET IT CALL THER SHOTS….AHHH! RELIEF!
