GUESS WHERE I’VE BEEN!?

I GOT TO PLAY WITH THESE LITTLE ONES!

As many of you know, I have never had children–couldn’t stay married long enough! And. although I’ve been close to my grand-niece, Layne, she’s always lived far away, so I had little time with her when she was young. So, please indulge me as I share a few pics of my wonderful visit with my youngest grand nieces and nephews: Sofia and Tomas.

Last month I went to Seattle (Puyallup) to help my sister Marcia take care of her four grandchildren–two teenagers and 6-year-old twins!–while their parents enjoyed a dream-trip to the Holy Land. My other sister, Cissy, joined us for a week so we could all be together.

We had so so much fun! The two older children were a great help and pretty self-sufficient. But of course, the twins wanted to play and enjoy their grand-aunts! And boy, did we ever play! Soccer practice, library, shopping, game arcades, and Easter festivities, including a wonderful church service and a home-made Easter-egg hunt.

What Else Have I Been Doing? Resting!

Needless to say, I did very little “work” on marketing my new book, Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart. I just needed to rest, and ignore that voice that said, “You gotta be doing X or Y, because…” When I heard it, my entire being said, “No! I will not obey that driving force today. I will do what feels right, and ‘working’ just doesn’t appeal right now.”

Of course, when I tried to ignore that voice, I got a very uncomfortable feeling right in my gut. And my self-preoccupation just increased (“Are we okay? Am I depressed? Why don’t I want to work?” What will happen if I don’t force myself? But, I stuck with it. Those old survival strategies (“If I don’t perform, I won’t be loved”) just hate to be challenged!

In spite of all this resistance, my True Self was very clear: It was time to stop the constant “tense striving.” Then, as always happens when we’re ready to let go of an old character flaw, just the right experiences turned up. Here are some of the practices that dissolved the fears underneath my self-centered striving so I could open my heart to the guidance of Loving Energy (God) and my True Self.

Naples of Unity Lenten Daily Meditations. The church across the street has a new minister, Rev Claudia Rene. I had heard good things about her, and noticed she was offering daily meditations online every day for the 40 days of Lent. I’ve never really tried to “give something up” for Lent, but I was quite willing to let go of my constant striving. So I signed up. OMG! Those 40 days transformed my fears into vague shadows.
Twelve-Step Retreat. My sponsee (the irrepressible Harriet Hunter), and I had planned to go to St. Leo’s Quest retreat in Tampa and it came at the perfect time. The main theme was meditation, but the fellowship and sharing truly opened my heart to myself with compassion. I didn’t have to resist this transformation that was going on inside my heart and mind.
“I rest in God.” This mantra came up in my Monday night Course in Miracles Study Group with Karen Casey. One dear friend shared how she repeats this phrase as she tries to calm her mind of worries about her family, health, and life. For some reason, I was entirely ready to absorb this lesson. Yes, I can REST—without striving—because my higher power has my back and is taking care of all the things I thought I had to work so hard to “get.”
Michael Singer’s Untethered Soul. In spite of how often I’d heard friends rave about this book, I had resisted reading it–partly because I was writing Love More Now, and didn’t want another writer’s voice in my head. But now I can see that I read it at just the right time—last week, in fact! WOW! What an amazing use of detailed metaphors to illustrate how our fears have been closing our hearts—needlessly. There is no need to defend ourselves from our fears and old patterns, as we are already resting in the security of God.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, LIFE IS CALM AGAIN AS I REST IN THE CENTER OF MY SOULD AND LET IT CALL THER SHOTS….AHHH! RELIEF!

Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is now available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE. PAPERBACK ($9.99) E-BOOK ($4.99) These low prices last through March, so get your copy now!
Thank you for helping readers find Love More Now by POSTING a REVIEW on Amazon.

April 1, 2023April 1, 2023

Giving Is the Same as Receiving

give to others worry less now

Giving and Receiving Are the Same

In my recent blog posts and newsletters I’ve been introducing the principles of Attitudinal Healing (AH). Jerry Jampolsky, one of the early readers of A Course in Miracles, simplified its complex lessons into the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing. As a child and adult psychiatrist, he first began applying them with children facing terminal illness. Soon the AH groups grew into a worldwide service that can be applied to almost any difficulty. Today, we consider Principle 3.

In Jampolsky’s book, Teach Only Love, he gives this explanation: “When our attention is on giving and joining with others, fear is removed and we accept healing for ourselves.”

So, How Do We Do It?

There are many people in this world who are labeled givers. Givers usually have a hard time learning how to receive.

There are also receivers, who are great at receiving but don’t really know how to give.

Givers are usually rescuers who manipulate the other person. If the person doesn’t respond to their expectations they are disappointed.

The receiver, on the other hand, makes many demands on another and never seems to get his or her needs met.

Both look to the external world to fulfill their needs, and both tend to have emptiness inside.

The Attitudinal Healing definition of giving and receiving comes from another place. It is egoless. There are no conditions, no expectations, and no boundaries put on the extension of people sharing love.

When we have no goal or desire to change another person, or no need to get anything from them, a different dynamic takes place. We are actually only there for that person in an egoless way, and we can start to feel a sense of inner peace.

As we begin to feel a sense of joining with another
person, we seem to forget about ourselves. We become less concerned about our own feelings as we extend and expand. It is at this point that one feels the gift of giving and receiving becoming one. The supply is endless, and we become more and more full.

Where Does It Happen?

This kind of interaction takes place in the AH groups–a safe place for people to extend themselves towards others. They are able to forget their self-consciousness and through this become empowered with love to be able to reach out toward another without expecting something in return. At this point the person who is being helped almost automatically can let go of fears or anxieties and become one with those in the room.

When people are truly operating in this mode, fears are released and healing begins to take place.

(Source: Definition of the Principles of Attitudinal Healing)

Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is now available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE. PAPERBACK ($9.99) E-BOOK ($4.99) These low prices last through April, so get your copy now!
Thank you for helping readers find Love More Now by POSTING a REVIEW on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 37 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

March 20, 2023May 4, 2023

NEW VIDEO plus Principle 2 of Attitudinal Healing

NEW VIDEO!

Click on the red arrow below to watch “How to Grow Spiritually” –recorded last week by the wonderful women at Abington Episcopal Church, VA. Learn how to change from a negative-thinking “Closed-Hearted Person” to an “Open-Hearted Person” who can easily Love yourself and others. Gain serenity, happy relationships, and fulfill your life purpose. All included in Love More Now (and much influenced by Attitudinal Healing!).

ATTITUDINAL HEALING CONTINUED

“It is not other people or situations that cause us to be upset. Rather, it is our own thoughts and attitudes about those things that are responsible for our distress.”

In my March 2nd blog, I summarized Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love, and Love is Eternal. “Love cannot be hindered by what is merely physical. Therefore, we believe the mind has no limits and nothing is impossible. Because love is eternal, death need not be viewed fearfully.” Click HERE to read more about Principle 1 of AH.

Principle 2. Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go Of Fear

“In order for us to feel inner peace, we first have to make it our single goal. We can then start to release all the obstacles that stand in our way.”

“We experience many emotions in our body. They are all related to fear, but to us they have many forms. Anger, jealousy, guilt, depression, or whatever, arise in us all the time.

It is important for us to know that we have a choice about how we want to deal with these feelings. We can become helpless and be a victim, or we can actually change these feelings. The mind is the most powerful tool we have and we can use it to change these hurtful feelings.

For us to do this, we must become both aware and willing to change. We must get in touch with our inner voice, the one that is connected to our higher self instead of our self that is governed by the ego. It is the voice inside that tells us our truth without judgment.

The next step is to go to the experience of the emotion. For instance, when we feel anger arise, it is very important to get in touch with it. This means that we experience it, acknowledge it, and are gentle with it. We in no way deny our anger because it is a very normal feeling and does not need to have a “bad” label put on it. Doing so only creates another emotion to deal with, that of guilt.

It is only when we truly get in touch with our own anger that we can begin to change it. This can actually be done in an instant. It does not have to be processed at great length. Sometimes it is not really necessary to know the “why” and “how.” These words can often lead to more turmoil in our lives.

An Illustration

When inner peace becomes our only goal, we can recognize that holding on to anger does not bring us peace of mind. An amazing woman came to the Center about ten years ago. She was in a devastated state as her nine-year-old daughter had been diagnosed with severe leukemia. She was in Dr. Jerry Jampolsky’s office, when she heard him say that she could actually, at this moment, choose peace instead of experiencing the pain she was in. She managed, somehow, to really hear his meaning and was able to instantly shift her perception.

This woman went on to became one of our most active volunteers at the Center for many years and was able to help dozens of parents who were going through what she went through. This does not mean that she said, “You can choose peace” to each person when they were completely devastated. It means that she was there for them wherever they were. And because of her own experience, she was able to rely on her own inner strength so that she could be of help in any way she was needed. Seeing the instant shift in the woman I just described was a remarkable experience for me. It was a lesson that told me, ‘nothing is impossible.'”

More About Attitudinal Healing

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. Many years ago, I joined my mentor, Jane, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. What a wonderful experience. Plus, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased).

The Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing:

The Essence Of Our Being Is Love
Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go Of Fear
Giving And Receiving Are The Same
We Can Let Go Of The Past And Of The Future
Now Is The Only Time There Is And Each Instant Is For Giving
We Can Learn To Love Ourselves And Others By Forgiving Rather Than Judging
We Can Become Love Finders Rather Than Fault-Finders
We Can Choose And Direct Ourselves To Be Peaceful Inside Regardless Of What Is Happening Outside
We Are Students And Teachers To Each Other
We Can Focus On The Whole Of Life Rather Than The Fragments
Since Love Is Eternal, Death Need Not Be Viewed As Fearful
We Can Always Perceive Others As Either Loving Or Fearful And Giving A Call Of Help For Love.

Source material: Love is Letting Go of Fear , by Jerry Jampolsky and AH Review Principles Booklet

March 2, 2023March 16, 2023

Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love

“At any moment we can choose peace over conflict–and love over fear.” — Jerry Jampolsky, M.D.

In the next few blog posts, I’ll share the Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing (AH). It’s best to find a group in your local area to support you in applying these ideas.

How Did Attitudinal Healing Start?

Dr. Jerry Jampolsky, a graduate of Stanford Medical School, was a child and adult psychiatrist. One day, he overheard a young boy with leukemia ask the doctor, “What is it like to die?” The doctor changed the subject and asked the child about his bowel movements. Jerry decided to create a safe place for kids facing life-threatening illness to honestly discuss their own questions and fears. Out of these groups (and greatly influenced by A Course in Miracles) the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing arose. Since 1975, thousands of groups–for all kinds of life challenges–exist all over the world and in most major US cities.

What Attitudinal Healing?

It is not just adjusting or adapting our attitudes. Rather, it’s consciously choosing to let go of our fearful attitudes. This spiritual pathway uses no “God” language, and seeks to adopt a non-judgmental attitude toward oneself, others, and the world. The goal is not to change behavior, but to retrain and reprogram our own mind. We learn to heal relationships, to experience peace of mind, and to let go of our fears.

Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love, and Love is Eternal

Attitudinal Healing is really concerned with experiencing love rather than defining it. Love itself is a pure energy force that flows through us. It remains constant and eternal.

If this energy is not blocked by pain, anxiety, anger and other manifestations of fear, we can recognize the essence of love and learn to feel peaceful inside. It is important to constantly work at clearing our minds and realize that the energy of love is all there is, and that which we call negative emotions keeps us from this sensation.

We can learn to experience a life that is about loving ourselves and extending that love to others. This is different than the way much of society views love. To the world, love is something that we want to GET from someone else coupled with the fear that we won’t have enough. When we live in this fear we are unable to give love freely. That is the work of the ego.

Love, which cannot be evaluated or measured is to be shared. The essence of love plays a large part in physical healing, as illustrated by this story.

In one of our groups at our Center, a woman in her mid-fifties was complaining that she had been plagued by a constant back pain for about nine years. We asked her if she would be willing to partake in a small experiment. We then asked the group of about fifteen people if they would be willing to send this woman love with their thoughts for about thirty seconds. We then asked the woman if she would be willing to send love back to the group at the same time. It was a wonderful half a minute as we all focused on the single goal of sending love to another. When the thirty seconds were up, it was tempting to evaluate what had transpired. But we cautioned about that, and the meeting continued on with much deeper sharing. At the end of the meeting, the woman with the back pain excitedly said, “I just can’t stand it. I have to tell you that for the last hour I have not had any pain in my back.”

What occurred in this meeting was not something tangible that could be seen or measured. The only thing that was happening was the intent to feel love for this woman. My goal was not to take her pain away or make myself feel better. It was only to be in the present, send love, and not be concerned with the outcome. It was a powerful lesson to realize that loving thoughts can be transmitted clearly and felt by another at a deep level.

(All content here is quoted or summarized from A Definition of the Principles of Attitudinal Healing by Patricia Robinson (Forward by Gerald Jampolsky, founder of AH)

Meet Jerry Jampolsky

Listen to Jerry explain Attitudinal Healing here.

So, What Do You Think? Pretty Great Stuff, aye? And Here’s More!

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Category: Overcoming Worry & Doubt