A lot of friends are saying their energy has deserted them, perhaps due to the shorter days and Daylight Savings in the U.S. And yet, there’s SO much to get done before the holidays.
And,  by the way, how can Thanksgiving be only one week away?? At this time of the year, we too easily fall prey to pre-holiday stress.
The thought “There’s too much to do!” puts us into a tailspin of worry. Then more negative thoughts follow, for example, “How can I get everyone to get along?” and “I’ll never find the right gifts!” As the worries mount, our problem solving abilities fly out the window, leaving us even more tense and upset.
How can you overcome your own pre-holiday stress? Over many years of working with my own worries, I’ve discovered four life strategies to help you access wisdom and peace, even when the pressure mounts. They’re explained in Chapter 1 of my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity and Connection.
SPECIAL HOLIDAY OFFERS for “Worry Less Now:” 20% off with promo code 20LESSNOW or get 50% off your 2nd copy from 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving 11/22 through midnight Monday 11/26. Click here for both offers. [Also available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and e-book vendors.]
You may have pre-holiday stress around questions such as, “Which events are most essential for me and my family?” “Whom should I invite and when?” “How will I handle the shopping and mailing?” The best answers to such questions come from using these four strategies and their associated tools.
1. Get Honest. First, I need to admit to myself that I’m a little rattled.  Years ago, my worries flew under the radar, unacknowledged. I knew I was tense, but didn’t want to face it, so I used drugs, alcohol, overwork, or sex to avoid my feelings. Those are all dead-ends that stop growth in its tracks.
I gain self-honesty most easily when I can share my struggles with healthy friends. Journal writing helps too; when my fears are out on page, they donât seem insurmountable. But I don’t stop there and wallow in my fears; I move on!
2. Claim Positive Power. When I admit that stress has taken me over, I turn to a power greater than my fearful thinking. I no longer have to motivate myself with fearful thoughts. Instead, my best guidance comes from a higher, wiser place.
You may be thinking, âOh, man, here we go with that higher power stuff.â Power and wisdom come from many sources, and itâs up to you to find your own. You might use terms such as courage, God, universal truth, soul, providence, true self, angelsâit doesnât matter, as long as proves to be stronger than your fear. (For more, see “When Willpower Just Isn’t Enough”)
The trick is to trust that a powerful part of you is wise enough to handle the unknown challenges that arise around the holidays. To access this higher self, try praying, meditating, or immerse yourself in nature, beauty, or uplifting reading.
3. Choose Your Future. If you’re thinking your holiday challenges are just too much, it’s time to create assertive images of how you want to feel and act. For example, if you’re anticipating conflict and drama during Thanksgiving dinner, you might imagine the scene, and affirm, “I am civil to the others, and I can take a break or leave at any time.”
The responsibility for your own peace of mind rests squarely with you, regardless of other people’s behavior. So, as you anticipate thorny issues, continuously visualize how YOU want to be in those situations. But, just stating a desire isn’t sufficient; you’ll need to use specific practices to keep your mind on a positive track.
4. Use Growth Practices. I don’t know about you, but my mind goes first to the worst-case scenario (it’s trying to help me survive by anticipating bad things). That’s why I need powerful tools to change my thinking.
I love the image of my worries being “dissolved” in this affirmation by J. Sig Paulson of Unity. When I’m stressed out or in the grip of fear, I repeat it over and over. [As you read it, feel free to substitute your own word for “God.”]
“The activity of God is the only power at work in my mind, heart, and life. All false beliefs, all negative appearances are dissolved right now by the loving, forgiving action of God. I am whole, strong, and free as God created me to be.”
I also recommend connecting daily with your inner wisdom by meditating, talking with supportive friends, and walking outdoors. Your own tools for achieving peace of mind might differ, but they will always lower the volume of your worries and resentments so you can offer caring actions, thoughts, and words.
When doubts and pre-holiday stress threaten your happiness, these four strategies will allow you to make great decisions for yourself and your family: 1) Honesty: âHereâs whatâs going on inside me.â 2) Power: âI claim courage and intuitive direction.â 3) Choices: âThis is how I want to be, and Iâm going for it!â 4) Growth Practices: âIâm actively connecting with loving power to dissolve my fears and gain wise direction.â
Gigi Langer, PhD.  Based on her work in psychology and personal experience in therapy, recovery, and a variety of spiritual teachings, Gigi is a sought-after speaker, retreat leader, and award-winning writer and professor.  She co-authored five books for educators before releasing 50 Ways to Worry Less Now in early 2018.
Do you have a dream or goal, but you just can’t get yourself to pursue it? Every time you think about working on it, you find tons of reasons to put it off, or tell yourself you just can’t do it.
The answers to these questions proved to be very powerful motivators. Within a year, I had completed chapters 5-7, and by 2017 I had an advance copy ready for reviewers. Then in February 2018, I released the completed book,
Gigi Langer is the former âQueen of Worryâ who holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasnât had a drug or drink for over 30 years, and lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.
Whenever Iâve had a really busy, full day, I find myself without enthusiasm for âgetting things doneâ the next day. Case in point: last weekend I entertained on Friday, and then rested all day Saturday (I read a novel–lovely!). And even after resting, I have to say, getting back to work was a bit of a struggle. I was baffled.
âMany of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we’re happy. When the boss compliments our work, we’re happy. On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we’re worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. It’s really only a simple change in perspective. It’s looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There’s no mystery to it. We can do it. “
Gigi Langer is a former âQueen of Worry.â Sheâs also an educator, speaker, and author of