Healthy Mental Habits Archives - Page 9 of 12

March 29, 2019March 28, 2019

ABUNDANCE HAS INCLUDED ME!

worry less now

Today, as I listened to Day 3 of Deepak & Oprah’s free (I love free!) meditation series on gratitude, Deepak made a statement that stopped me in my tracks:

“The good things in your life show that abundance has included you.”

Shut out of Abundance

I realized that, although I DO believe Deepak’s words now, it was not always so. For years, I felt everyone else had everything they wanted, but somehow I had been excluded.

– I couldn’t feel safe in my home, but of course everybody else did, right?

– I couldn’t make a romance last forever, but everybody else could, right? I mean, look at the fairy tales!!

– I couldn’t stop my own drugging, drinking and sleeping around — those were things nobody else did, right?

So apparently, I was basically a bad person doing bad stuff who didn’t deserve good things. Although I thought I had been denied abundance, I couldn’t have been more wrong!

Abundance to the Max!

After embarking on a vigorous program of spiritual practice, recovery, and therapy, I can honestly say that for several years now, I’ve been living the life of my dreams.

I’m happily married–30 years this May; just published an award-winning book; spend the winters away from the cold; and even though advancing in my years, I still enjoy golf and time with my husband, family, and a multitude of dear friends.

I’m so grateful to be able to report that I HAVE been included in abundance, just like Deepak said!

You too deserve abundance. See GigiLanger.com to learn about the tools that transformed my life. They might work for you too!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Read her blog here or order her award-winning book from Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and all e-book vendors.

March 8, 2019March 13, 2019

HOW EASY IS IT FOR YOU TO RECEIVE CARE FROM OTHERS?

How easily can you receive care from from others? This question stopped me in my tracks when I read it in The Answer Is Simple: Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! by spiritual teacher Sonia Choquette.

Surely, I thought, that wasn’t a problem for me! I had allowed plenty of men to “take care” of me–but only when I was in control of the payoff. The rest of the time, I was fiercely self-sufficient.

When I considered that I could receive care from other people, with NO strings attached, I could barely fathom it. I had always felt church and other organizations only welcomed me because they wanted my money or time.

Further, I didn’t feel I deserved such generous attention. My alcoholic home had taught me I wasn’t worth someone’s care or love; and that being a care-giver was safer than expecting it from another.

So, it’s not surprising that when I first went to 12-step programs, I was hesitant to accept the support offered by others–especially the women! Up until then, I had always relied on my lover and one female “using buddy.” I had no idea how to interact with healthy women without my old manipulative ways.

But, after months of hearing my recovering friends talk about their loving sponsors, I finally took the plunge and asked someone to be my sponsor. I couldn’t believe it when she said yes and gave me hours and hours of her undivided attention, just so I could stay sober (and she stayed sober too!)

It’s almost impossible to grow spiritually without healthy friends whose main purpose is to do the same. So, if you’re trying to straighten out your life (or keep it sane), you’ll consider this question carefully:
** How willing are you to receive help from others? **

It took me a while, but I’m happy to report that I now count myself rich, knowing that a select group of friends would immediately come to my rescue in any crisis.

To examine your own willingness to receive care from others, take a moment to consider these questions.

1. How easy is it for you to ask others for help?
2. Do you believe you always need to appear strong and competent?
3. Are you most comfortable in the role of helping others?
4. Can you graciously accept healthy loving care regardless of where it comes from?
5. What false beliefs might stand in the way of you being a better receiver?

If you can’t trust others to give you love without expecting something in return, or if you believe you don’t deserve others’ support, I encourage you to let go of this “I am an island” mentality (as in Paul Simon’s song, “I am a rock”). Perhaps counseling, spiritual practices, or other healthy people can help you accept loving care from others.

For tips on finding healthy friends, read this article. To learn more about overcoming negative, self-limiting thinking so you can enjoy peace, clarity, and connection, see GigiLanger.com.

Order her award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.

March 1, 2019March 13, 2019

Interview Part 1: Your Destructive Whispered Lies

Want to worry less? Become aware of your negative self-talk: “whispered lies” such as, “Oh, this is just so awful.” “I can’t handle this.” “I need to fix (situation/person) right now.” “I can’t be happy until (situation/person) changes.” “I’ll never be able to do that.” or “I wish I hadn’t . . .”

Stressful thoughts like these scare us so much that we end up with life-threatening illnesses, or we find ourselves too preoccupied to give love and attention to our family or friends. Not a recipe for happiness!

How do we overcome our whispered lies so we can find peace, wisdom, and fulfilling relationships?

That’s what Charita and I talked about in this interview series about my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, And Connection.

Interviewer, Charita H. Cadenhead, Realtor, Author, Radio host, Entrepreneur (R.A.R.E.). http://renewrefreshreset.com/about/charita-cadenhead/

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon or get 20% here off with promo code 20lessnow.

January 18, 2019January 19, 2019

Beat Stress by Wanting What’s HERE RIGHT NOW

stress worry less now

They say the past is over and the future is yet to be. The only thing that remains is the present moment. That’s sure been true for me!

Years ago, I had a chance to learn how stress about the past or future can rob our experience of the present.

Mindfulness

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the developer of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programs, teaches people to fully appreciate the present by taking several minutes to eat one raisin. As they chew, they savor the full sensory experience—the texture, taste, and sound. Give it a try sometime.

If you don’t have a raisin, wash a few dishes very slowly. Feel the texture of each one. Listen to the sounds they make as they clink together. Smell the moist air lingering around you.

When you mindfully immerse yourself in the present moment, you can feel your mind unhinge from all the distressing thoughts about your past and future.

The Present Moment

In my late 40s, I spent two painful years with both of my shoulders “frozen.” Eventually, I sought help from Pema Chodron’s popular book, When Things Fall Apart, and was struck by her suggestion that one could attain peace by simply being present with each moment, even the distressing ones.

After reflecting on this idea, I realized that during my illness I had been searching through my past actions, worrying about what I’d done to make my shoulders worse. When I wasn’t dwelling on the past, I was trying to figure out what treatment to try in the future.

As I followed Chodron’s suggestion to be fully present with my body’s sensations, my stress diminished greatly. Even though my shoulders didn’t heal right away, I was able to handle the pain and limitations with more peace and grace. (Need I say I had been a basket case before trying this?)

That experience taught me to make friends with my present circumstances, even when I don’t like them. Today I’m so grateful for my healthy and flexible shoulders–and for learning to appreciate every moment as it comes.

Try It Now

To experience mindfulness, try focusing 100% on what’s happening right now. What do you hear? What are you touching? What noises are you hearing? What tastes fill your mouth? When you’re this attentive to the present, your stress and worries melt away. I’d love to hear how this works for you!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in worry less now Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Category: Healthy Mental Habits