I often hear a whispered lie telling me “Gotta go faster!” or “It’s going to horrible if I can’t get this done.”
Such urgent thoughts scare the wits out of me—and they’re NOT TRUE.
To re-calibrate my exaggerated self-talk, I breathe, meditate, pray, and use other tools to connect with my true self/higher power. And then, voila! Those things that just “had” to be done are effortless and in perfect order. Whew! Relief!
“One thing at a time. That’s all we have to do. Not two things at once, but one thing done in peace.
“One task at a time. One feeling at a time. One day at a time. One problem at a time. One step at a time. One pleasure at a time.
“Relax. Let go of urgency. Begin calmly now. Take one thing at a time.
“See how everything works out?
“Today, I will peacefully approach one thing at a time. When in doubt, I will take first things first.
Great advice, aye? I think I’ll follow it by letting go of my urgency!
Gigi Langer holds a PhD from Stanford University in Psychological Studies in Education. She’s an award-winning teacher and writer with 33 years clean and sober. Her new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now won the National Indie Excellence Award and rates 4.7 stars on Amazon. The AUDIOBOOK is due in mid-September 2019 (Audible, Amazon, i-tunes)
Do you have a voice in your head that incessantly whispers lies of impending doom or replays past events in the hope of changing them?
It might sound like this: “I always…(fail, am rejected, sabotage my success)” OR “If only he or she would (fill in the blank), we would all be okay.“
Although I used to hear this voice often, over the years I’ve learned to turn such negative thoughts into positive ones. Here are a few tips that might help you do the same.
Notice how the voice in your head causes tension in your body and perhaps emotions of anger, pain, frustration, envy, or a need for security, recognition or love.
Stand apart from thethoughts and feelings, as if you’re on a balcony observing them. Do NOT condemn them.
Breatheslowly and deeply until your body calms down. Withdraw your attention from your worrying and focus on your breathing.
Recognizewho is watching the thoughts. It’s a part of your mind independent of your thoughts and emotions. This is your true self (higher self, God-mind, etc). It is greater, stronger, and wiser than the imagined disturbances.
Make a choice: Do you want to stay in the drama of the fear-filled voices in your head, or do you want to experience peace and happiness?
Write your mind’s false messages in a journal. Notice that many of them predict one of two horrible things: 1) past pain will repeat itself, or 2) the future will be disastrous. KNOW THAT NONE OF THESE IS TRUE.
Dissolve your mind’s lies by using meditation, affirmations, prayer, therapy, yoga, inspirational reading, groups, energy work, or any other method to connect with the goodness and light of your true self.
As you refuse to believe the fearful voice in your head, sooner or later the answers to your troubles will appear in the most amazing way and for the best of all involved.
HOW DO YOU CALM YOUR OWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS? I’d love to hear from you!
GIGI LANGER is the former “Queen of Worry” whose award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, rates 4.7 stars on Amazon. She holds a PhD from Stanford University in Psychology in Education.
FACT: About 20% of Americans struggle with anxiety and worry.
Last night I participated in the amazing and awesome “RecoveredCast” show. Thanks to Mark, Matt, and Kurt (and those who called in) for making our conversation about anxiety so honest and helpful.
RecoveredCast is like a 12-step meeting in your pocket. The show streams live with a chat room to interact with other listeners and the show hosts. The purpose is to encourage and support those walking the path of recovery from any addiction (alcohol, drugs, people, food, gambling, work, shopping, etc.).
Even if you’re not in a 12-step group, you’ll enjoy the inspiring, personal stories about anxiety in recovery, and you may find some helpful ideas for coping with it.
ClickHERE (or on the link below) to listen to this fascinating discussion!
Order your PERSONALIZED SIGNED COPY of award winner, “Worry Less Now” (Amazon 4.7 stars) – 10% discount plus free shipping! Click HERE
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Grievances–grudges, judgment, criticism, resentment, blame, disapproval, or attack—block us from happiness and serenity.
“Well I don’t DO those things,”
You might think this, and you’re probably right. But what about the condemning attitudes living in our minds? Can any of us say we don’t constantly judge others’ words and actions? Of course we do.
It sounds like this: “If I were him, I wouldn’t do that.” “Why can’t she just get along with us? What’s wrong with her?” “They should not be doing that; they’re corrupt.”
The Problem with Grievances
Even though such statements seem true, the problem is that we’re focusing on the negative rather than the positive.
When we choose to hold a grievance, we can’t see the other
person’s true self—the purity of
their spirit. Further, if we can’t see the goodness in them, we can’t claim it for
ourselves. What we send out to others comes back to us; it’s that simple.
Many of us deny our own negativity by numbing ourselves with substances or other unhealthy habits—a dead end to positive growth. Even those trying to be more positive still struggle with inherent dark thoughts. I certainly do.
The good news is that I’ve found so many ways to escape my mind’s tendency to criticize and judge. You can find them in my book, “Worry Less Now,” and in my blog.
How to Overcome A Grievance
Here’s a technique that showed up today as I read Lesson 78, “Let miracles replace all grievances,” from A Course in Miracles. First I was to recall all my negative thoughts about an important person in my life: what that person had done, their “weaknesses,” and other offenses. Then I was to ask spirit to help me see him through the eyes of love—“Let your mind be shown the light in him beyond your grievances.” Then it suggested that I thank this person for prompting my negativity and discomfort so that I could release it and be peaceful and happy.
I just did the exercise as directed. As I chose to focus on the perfection of this person’s spirit rather than the images my mind had conjured, I found a deep peace creep over me. I could hardly remember what I thought was “wrong,” and I felt a loving connection with the person. As a result, I felt the light of spirit growing in myself.
The miracle of replacing fear with love had occurred. Amen.
I would love to hear from you: What gets in the way of your serenity? How do you overcome grievances or grudges?
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.