FACT: About 20% of Americans struggle with anxiety and worry.
Last night I participated in the amazing and awesome âRecoveredCastâ show. Thanks to Mark, Matt, and Kurt (and those who called in) for making our conversation about anxiety so honest and helpful.
RecoveredCast is like a 12-step meeting in your pocket. The show streams live with a chat room to interact with other listeners and the show hosts. The purpose is to encourage and support those walking the path of recovery from any addiction (alcohol, drugs, people, food, gambling, work, shopping, etc.).
Even if you’re not in a 12-step group, you’ll enjoy the inspiring, personal stories about anxiety in recovery, and you may find some helpful ideas for coping with it.
ClickHERE (or on the link below) to listen to this fascinating discussion!
Order your PERSONALIZED SIGNED COPY of award winner, âWorry Less Nowâ (Amazon 4.7 stars) – 10% discount plus free shipping! Click HERE
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Sheâs a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Grievances–grudges, judgment, criticism, resentment, blame, disapproval, or attackâblock us from happiness and serenity.
âWell I donât DO those things,â
You might think this, and youâre probably right. But what about the condemning attitudes living in our minds? Can any of us say we donât constantly judge othersâ words and actions? Of course we do.
It sounds like this: âIf I were him, I wouldnât do that.â âWhy canât she just get along with us? Whatâs wrong with her?â âThey should not be doing that; theyâre corrupt.â
The Problem with Grievances
Even though such statements seem true, the problem is that weâre focusing on the negative rather than the positive.
When we choose to hold a grievance, we canât see the other
personâs true selfâthe purity of
their spirit. Further, if we canât see the goodness in them, we canât claim it for
ourselves. What we send out to others comes back to us; itâs that simple.
Many of us deny our own negativity by numbing ourselves with substances or other unhealthy habitsâa dead end to positive growth. Even those trying to be more positive still struggle with inherent dark thoughts. I certainly do.
The good news is that Iâve found so many ways to escape my mindâs tendency to criticize and judge. You can find them in my book, âWorry Less Now,â and in my blog.
How to Overcome A Grievance
Hereâs a technique that showed up today as I read Lesson 78, âLet miracles replace all grievances,â from A Course in Miracles. First I was to recall all my negative thoughts about an important person in my life: what that person had done, their âweaknesses,â and other offenses. Then I was to ask spirit to help me see him through the eyes of loveââLet your mind be shown the light in him beyond your grievances.â Then it suggested that I thank this person for prompting my negativity and discomfort so that I could release it and be peaceful and happy.
I just did the exercise as directed. As I chose to focus on the perfection of this personâs spirit rather than the images my mind had conjured, I found a deep peace creep over me. I could hardly remember what I thought was âwrong,â and I felt a loving connection with the person. As a result, I felt the light of spirit growing in myself.
The miracle of replacing fear with love had occurred. Amen.
I would love to hear from you: What gets in the way of your serenity? How do you overcome grievances or grudges?
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Sheâs a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.
These days, it’s really easy to fall prey to fear and insecurity about the future. So, I thought I’d share with you seven ways to overcome fear.
1) Instead of focusing on whatâs wrong, focus on whatâs right. Try a gratitude journal, random acts of kindness, finding something you appreciate about another person, or stopping to smell the roses (or in this case, our beautiful spring blossoming trees!)
2) Instead of obsessing about a negative situation until it seems to be a major issue, try to keep it in perspective. Remember that this too shall pass, and you’ve made it through worse things. Try to accept what is going on with calm trust that, even though things may appear scary or chaotic, all is well. For more on changing your perspective, see this post.
3) Instead of isolating with TV, media, and potato chips (or ice cream!), hang out with positive people striving to improve their lives. They will give you hope and make you laugh–the best tonic of all. Zoom has many meetings and gatherings to support your growth.
4) Instead of engaging in self-criticism, try self-compassion. Talk to yourself as if you were a small child who needs comforting and reassurance. Take good care of yourself by taking a hot bath or a soothing walk outside.
5) Instead of trying to change the past by thinking about how it could have been different, focus on what is going on right now, both inside and around your body. Savor the sensations of sound, touch, scent, vision, and taste.
6) Instead of living in the wreckage of your future, try being 100% in this present moment. Pay rapt attention to those you’re listening to and enjoy every moment of your life.
7) Instead of trying to change people, places, or things, admit that you have no power over them. Then focus on the only things you CAN control: your own attitudes and actions. Admit that you don’t know what is best in every situation. Practice acceptance. Let go and allow the mysterious power of spirit handle things.
What would you add? I would love to hear how you’re overcoming fear! With love from Gigi, âWorry Less Now!â
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Sheâs a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.Â
Order my award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) HERE . Also available in e-book and audiobook. 4.8 stars on Amazon!
Today, as I listened to Day 3 of Deepak & Oprah’s free (I love free!) meditation series on gratitude, Deepak made a statement that stopped me in my tracks:
“The good things in your life show that abundance has included you.”
Shut out of Abundance
I realized that, although I DO believe Deepak’s words now, it was not always so. For years, I felt everyone else had everything they wanted, but somehow I had been excluded.
– I couldn’t feel safe in my home, but of course everybody else did, right?
– I couldn’t make a romance last forever, but everybody else could, right? I mean, look at the fairy tales!!
– I couldn’t stop my own drugging, drinking and sleeping around — those were things nobody else did, right?
So apparently, I was basically a bad person doing bad stuff who didn’t deserve good things. Although I thought I had been denied abundance, I couldn’t have been more wrong!
Abundance to the Max!
After embarking on a vigorous program of spiritual practice, recovery, and therapy, I can honestly say that for several years now, I’ve been living the life of my dreams.
I’m happily married–30 years this May; just published an award-winning book; spend the winters away from the cold; and even though advancing in my years, I still enjoy golf and time with my husband, family, and a multitude of dear friends.
I’m so grateful to be able to report that I HAVE been included in abundance, just like Deepak said!
You too deserve abundance. See GigiLanger.com to learn about the tools that transformed my life. They might work for you too!
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Read her blog here or order her award-winning book from Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and all e-book vendors.
Gigi Langer