Healthy Mental Habits Archives - Page 3 of 12

June 6, 2021June 6, 2021

TRUST THE PERFECT ORDER OF GROWTH!

As you may remember, I’ve stopped my weekly blog because I’m currently facilitating a “Worry Less Now” Study Group. It’s been wonderful joining with 8 beautiful women to work with affirmations, vision boards, master minding, and other tools from my book. Surprisingly, however, some of us are finding that change doesn’t come as quickly as we’d like. We may wonder, “Is it all really in perfect order?”

I thought you might enjoy reading the note I sent to the study group members about that dilemma.

Dear “Worry Less Now” Study Group Women

Since you’ve been working on improving your life, I hope you’re noticing some positive changes. If not, don’t worry!

Quite often, after declaring an intention to grow, we get into a situation that makes us so uncomfortable (for SO long) that we finally give up on trying to fix it all by ourselves. At this point, we’re usually quite willing to use more tools to stream loving power into our situation. Eventually (not on our timetable), we find peace of mind & intuitive guidance; and suddenly, it’s no longer a “problem.”

In short, sometimes things seem to get worse before they get better. My mantra for such times is,

“EVERYTHING IS IN PERFECT ORDER, even though I can’t see it.”

This past 2 weeks, I was laid up, so I read historical novels & kept in close contact with my docs. I was so tempted to believe the whispered lie: “My sickness will keep me from living the life I want.” Thank God, I was patient and kept affirming: “I am not my body; I am spirit, and all is well.” Today (finally) I feel like myself again—yay! Perhaps the “perfect order” here was that I needed to slow down and rest. More will be revealed!

Keep An Eye out for the Next “Worry Less Now” Study Group!

I hope you’re doing well these days, and that your growth-path is full of patience and miracles! Stay tuned for my next 5-week “Worry Less Now” study group. I hope you’ll join!

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

April 4, 2021April 4, 2021

15 Ways to Defeat Overthinking

A life-long habit of overthinking cost me not only my peace of mind; it also fueled my chronic pain, anxiety, perfectionism, and my alcohol and drug abuse.

Even after getting sober and working a rigorous recovery program, I still had a problem with overthinking.

Now, however, I have many powerful ways to calm my mind, and I rarely have anxiety or chronic pain.

You too can overcome your overthinking problem by simply using a few of my favorite tips!

DAILY HABITS TO CALM YOUR THINKING

Consistently using any of the practices below will bring stability to your mood and mind.

Practice Gratitude. List five things you’re grateful for. Do this every day for a week, without repeating any item.

Meditate and/or Pray. Use the free app, Insight Timer or other tools. Do this every day for at least 10 minutes. It shrinks the “worry center” of the brain.

Exercise, Walk, or Do Yoga. These are proven to increase positive brain chemicals and increase happiness.

Do Something Nice for Someone. Smile at a stranger, compliment a server, or send a friend a loving note.

Take Good Care of Yourself. Be sure you eat well and get enough rest. Especially important, drink plenty of water. Finally, don’t use food, alcohol or drugs to deal with stress.

Limit Negative Input. Give yourself permission to turn off negative TV or radio broadcasts. Avoid extended time with negative people.

Become Inspired. Listen to uplifting music or podcasts/radio. Read inspiring books or blogs. Watch a positive movie (for example, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” about Mr. Rogers).

TIPS TO TURN AROUND OVERTHINKING

Because we’re human, we can easily revert to incessant negative thoughts. When this happens, try a few of these tips to get unstuck.

Breathing. Pause, and then slowly breathe in goodness and breathe out the negativity. One easy method involves counting to five as you inhale, pausing, and then slowly breathing out to the count of five. For maximum benefit, repeat this cycle ten times.

Sharing. Talk with a healthy, supportive friend who has a positive attitude toward the world.

Writing. Write down your thoughts and feelings and ask yourself which ones are really true. Ask yourself, “Is this permanent? Is there another way to look at this?” Circle the ones you know are untrue and then “turn them around” as instructed in “The Work” by Byron Katie www.thework.com.

Choice. Remember that you have a choice about what fills your mind. Therefore, you’re not a victim of your thoughts. Overthinking and worry can always be replaced with positive, calming images and ideas.

Affirmations. Whenever you notice a thought that is scaring you, substitute a positive, loving thought. Importantly, keep doing that each time the worrying reappears. For instance, “I’ll never get this right” becomes “I am capable of succeeding and will do so.”

Self Compassion. Talk sweetly to yourself. For example, say to yourself exactly what you would say to comfort or encourage a loved one. For more helpful ideas, See Kristin Neff www.SelfCompassion.org.

Therapy. Therapy is extremely helpful, especially EMDR and Energy Tapping.

Sobriety. If you must have more than two regular-sized drinks a day, consider joining a program to quit. Don’t forget that marijuana also adds to negativity!

IN SUMMARY

Turning around overthinking takes constant awareness and practice, but you’ll soon reap the benefits: a clearer mind, greater peace, happier relationships, and a general feeling of good will.

I did it, and so can you. Good luck!

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now which describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

March 12, 2021March 12, 2021

HOW TO QUIT THE “MASTER-BEATERS” CLUB

Recently, I became extremely self-critical because I got “too busy” to pray, meditate, and go to meetings. When I hear that voice whispering its nasty lies, I’m reminded of how the “Master-Beaters Club” was born.

Self-Critical Lies

While having coffee one day, some sober women and I began to share how an internal voice constantly criticized us: We were bad people, couldn’t change, or weren’t worthy of love or care. In short, our fearful thoughts were beating up on us.

Suddenly, one woman said, “Well, let’s just call ourselves the ‘master-beaters club!” After a raucous laugh, we had already weakened this character flaw by naming it and laughing at it.

Ever since that day, when that self-condemning voice creeps into my head, I can reject it by having a good laugh as I recall our special “club.”

How to Stop Beating Ourselves up

As I grew in my trust of a Higher Power, I replaced that critical voice with God’s loving presence, often expressed through human angels (sometimes called “God-in-skin”). For example, my sponsor channeled love into me, and then others joined in, bringing me the care I had so desperately sought.

As I grew into my true self, I realized that my security was guaranteed by my wise God-self, and that my self-criticism had melted away. But, if I let up on my self-care, it can still creep in, as it did this morning.

Today, after talking with my sponsor, going to an Alanon meeting, and meditating, that self-beating voice has left. I now feel peaceful, happy, and free.

More Ways to Quit the Master-Beaters Club

Make a gratitude list every day of at least 5 new items that are going well for you.
Create positive affirmations about your own worth. For example: “I am confident and positive.” “My worth is established by God.” or “I am a special person.”
Use guided meditations on self-worth and confidence. (I like Insight Timer)
Practice rigorous self-care: avoid self-destructive habits, eat well, exercise, sleep enough, hang out with healthy friends, and read/listen to inspiring words and stories.
Go to therapy to overcome negative patterns of acting and thinking.
Practice self-compassion as suggested by Kristen Neff

If we stay committed to our emotional and spiritual recovery, we come to believe that we are perfectly loved and fully able to love others. What a gift!

No more “Master-Beating” for me!

QUESTION: How do you stop the voice that sometimes beats you up?

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

January 15, 2021January 15, 2021

FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS!

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS THAT JUST CARRY YOU AWAY AND COLOR YOUR WHOLE WORLD GRAY? Don’t worry! Such feelings are often created by fearful thoughts that aren’t even true.

SO, HERE’S THE TRUTH: We don’t have the means to make people and things exactly as we want them. We just aren’t that powerful.

For example, we live in the wreckage of our future (“Its going to be awful!”) or we create “unenforceable rules” (“This should (or should not happen”). Often, we try to change the past by thinking how it “could have” been better.

Such thoughts are driven by the fear-driven belief that, if we just think long and hard enough, we can protect ourselves (and our loved ones) from pain and harm.

HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: We can find peace of mind and contentment in the midst of our fearful feelings and thoughts. Why? BECAUSE WE CAN CHOOSE WHAT FILLS OUR MIND.

HOW? Meditation, walks outside, stretching, yoga, prayer, reading or watching inspiring books/movies, 12-step work, spiritual practices, energy work, and thought-correction can all soothe our most difficult feelings. Good healthy friends or counselors really help too.

When we get still and listen to our inner wisdom (or that of another), we receive the comfort of ACCEPTANCE (non-attachment to specific outcomes). Further, we find ways to address those problems that still bother us—IF they are still bothering us (quite often, they’ve shrunken down to nothing!).

NEXT TIME YOUR FEELINGS are having a hissy fit, stand apart from them for a moment to recognize they’re mostly a result of inaccurate and disturbing thoughts. Then, ask yourself, “What healthy actions can I take to soothe my mind and body?” And then, do that!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITE WAYS OF SOOTHING UPSET FEELINGS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. THANKS!!

REVIEW by Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.”

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Category: Healthy Mental Habits