Facebook Twitter Instagram Linkedin

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

Author: Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer, PhD, wrote the award-winning "50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection" (4.8 stars). She's a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. She can help improve yours too! An author of six books on personal and professional growth, she's the self-proclaimed "Queen of Worry" and speaks from experience.
Posted on

MAKE A 2018 GRATITUDE LIST!

worry less now gigi langer
From Unsplash

Dear Blog Followers,

We hope you and your loved ones are well and we send our best wishes for a happy holiday season and a wonderful 2019.  As you know, “counting your blessings” is a great way to feel better about almost anything. So, here are a few of my favorites from 2018 . . . plus the next big goal!

Gigi’s 2018 Gratitude List

  • You and all “Gigi Langer” followers. Without your appreciation and enthusiasm for what I write, this site would not exist. You motivate me to share ideas and experiences that might be helpful or inspiring. And I absolutely LOVE it when you comment on my posts–both here and in FaceBook. So, here’s a big THANK YOU for your encouragement!
  • An active and fun life. Peter (my 4th husband–yup!) and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary in 2019. I’m so grateful that we still love every moment together. We both play a little golf and enjoy time with friends. Peter’s got lots of  home projects going, and I’m still very involved in supporting my own and others’ recovery from addiction and alcoholism.
  • Our families. We are all well and happy. A few have left us: my mother in Dec. 2014 and our brother-in-law, Kyran, last spring.  I enjoy time with my sisters and brother, and with Peter’s family. Every year we all realize how precious are the hours together.
  • Inspiration and service. For the past few years, I’ve been attending A Course in Miracles study group at Karen Casey’s home. This is such a gift, as she’s long been one of my writing idols (So many of us in recovery have used her daily meditation books, e.g., Each Day a New Beginning, from Hazelden.) I’m also so grateful to my fellow Board Members of the Ann Arbor Women’s Group; for 11 years we’ve been connecting women in sobriety!
  • Live music. This year we saw The Music Man (Peter’s favorite), My Fair Lady, Martin Sexton (if you don’t know his music, check it out here; he’s phenomenal, especially live), a full performance of the Messiah (it “took me to church”), and Peter’s favorite group Manhattan Transfer (masters of vocal-harmony-jazz). Last week we attended Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas”  and the song “count your blessings instead of sheep” prompted this gratitude list.
  • I published my book! 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, And Connection was a huge endeavor, occupying most of 2012-2017. Possum Hill Press published it in February 2018, and it has already earned great reviews on Amazon and from Publisher’s Weekly (BookLife), Midwest Book Review, and The Library Journal. Last summer, it received the 2018 National Indie Excellence Award in the self-help category.
  • The next project. One of my biggest life surprises occurred when God tapped me on the shoulder and had me enthusiastically running up to my office to write a book. Now that it’s completed, he’s sent another little nudge: Make an audio book! It’s taken me a while to warm up to the idea, but I’m doing it (How can you say “No!” to God?).  Check out  my first 3 videos showing how I’m approaching this task. They’re on YouTube too (Gigi Langer). Here’s the link for the fourth video, Gigi Makes an Audio Book, part 4.

Perhaps you too will make a gratitude list for 2018. Focusing on the good things brings more of the same into your life. I’d love to see your list!

I give thanks for every one of you who reads what I write, and look forward to our continued partnership in giving and receiving love.

worry less nowA shameless ad from Gigi: Order my book on Amazon (free shipping with Prime) OR go to www.gigilanger.com, click on Seattle Book Company, and use “20lessnow” code to lower the price (to reimburse you for shipping). If interested, also check out my blog and/or my FaceBook (FB) posts. Finally, if you will (or have) read the book, I’d appreciate your reviews on Goodreads, FB Gigi Langer Author, and Amazon. Thank you!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 32 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Her new book is available from Amazon, and in various formats here .

Posted on

THE BEST GIFT OF ALL: COURAGE!

worry less now courage   I don’t know about you, but when I face a big challenge, I need time to muster the courage to begin. Since I’ve taken on so many things that initially scared the crap out of me, I’ve learned to accept my initial doubts as part of the process, and then work my way through them until my courage returns.

You may remember I wrote that I would begin recording my audio book of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now on December 5. Well, technically, I DID begin, but that involved 2 weeks of  dealing with my fears!

During that time, my negativity whispered to me, “It’s too much work! It’s too technical! You won’t be able to do it! It’s going to cost a fortune anyway!” I’m so familiar with such fears, I went into my “gain courage” mode with the following actions.

  • Attended spiritually-based meetings (e.g., A Course in Miracles and 12-Step groups).
  • Stepped up my prayer and meditation practice.
  • Posted an affirmation on my bathroom mirror: “I create a wonderful audio book in a wonderful way; I offer wonderful service for wonderful pay.”
  • Met with my spiritual advisor to share my concerns and gain a new perspective.
  • Asked my support team (that includes you!) to visualize me holding a completed and successful audio book.
  • Listened to expert advice about how to create an audio book, and kept telling myself, “You can do this.”
  • Set up my new microphone in a prominent place so I could “make friends” with it.
  • Forgave myself for my impatience and irritability while I waited for sufficient courage to begin the project.
  • Enjoyed golf, spending time with my husband and friends, and going to the pool.

A week ago, when I texted my niece to wish her a happy 17th birthday, I included a few things about our holiday plans and my desire to make an audio book. She replied, “I’m really excited you’re recording an audio book. You should film the process on your phone so we can see. I have always wanted to see what it is like to do that!”

Boom! The turning point had arrived! My niece’s words ignited my enthusiasm and I immediately made a 5-minute video sharing how I connected my microphone and loaded the recording software. It was so much fun! In the next few days, I recorded two more episodes showing all the materials I was studying and how I made my first recording. Now I’m pausing during the holidays while I prepare the manuscript for reading and practice my narrating skills.

In the meantime, here are my videos!   Disclaimer from a former perfectionist:  I’ll get (a little) better at videos, but my main focus is getting the audio book done; so videos aren’t polished.

Thank you for sharing the journey with me. It’s a lot more fun with buddies who follow along, and I’ve already gotten some good suggestions for making audio books. If you have any tips, please send them along.

Finally, I’m wishing to all who celebrate Christmas:  Have a wonderful holiday. And my hope for all of us: A happy and joyous New Year!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 32 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Her new book is available from Amazon, and in various formats here .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on

TWO EASY WAYS TO STAY SANE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Let go worry less now gigi langerAs we approach the holidays, we often find ourselves triggered by feelings of: Overwhelm (How will I get it all done?); Worry (How am I going to handle this family member?); Self-pity (I feel so alone; no one loves me!); Shame (Will they ever forgive me and trust me again?); or Resentment (Why does she/he get so much more attention, money, love than I do?)

I know these feelings well. Just let me get too afraid, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, and the negativity goes on a spree inside my head.

Since the holidays are ripe for such challenges, I want to share my two favorite ways to restore my sanity and balance when I’ve lost it. I’ve memorized each of them and they really work!

Whenever you have a negative thought or action toward anything or anyone, pause, remove yourself from the situation (if possible), and repeat the phrases of “Loving-Kindness” or “The Activity of God.” Then notice how you begin to calm down and gain a new perspective. When you return to the situation you’ll find yourself thinking and responding differently.

Loving-Kindness Practice

The loving-kindness practice Buddhists call metta calms your mind, opens your heart to goodness and love, and connects you with the power within your true self. The practice also asks for the healing of your fears, worries, and negative thinking so you can serve others’ growth.

1) Say the words aloud:

  • May I be at peace.  May my heart remain open.
  • May I awaken to the light of my own true nature.
  • May I be healed. May I be a source of healing for all beings.

2) With one or more of your loved ones in mind, say the prayer again changing I to you: “May you be at peace. May your heart….”

3) Next, change you to we: “May we be at peace….”

4) Now use the “May you” version of the prayer for a person you feel is causing you worry, frustration, or pain: “May you (name) be at peace…”

The Activity of God, by Sig Paulson, Daily Word (Unity Church) 

This affirmation reminds me that negative thoughts are making my problems appear bigger than they are; and these appearances are just that, figments of my overactive imagination. It shrinks my fears by reminding me of who I truly am: an individual expression of a loving power.

  • The activity of God is the only power at work in my mind, heart, and life.
  • All false beliefs, all negative appearances are dissolved right now by the loving, forgiving action of God.
  • I am whole, strong, and free, as God created me to be.

1) First, you assert God (or higher power, true self, etc.) is bigger than your past wounds, stronger than your worries and fears, and wiser than your intellect. This benevolent power is the only one you want to influence your life.

2) Next, you claim your loving power has dissolved your negative beliefs and fearful imaginings. (I love the image of dissolving; I see it as washing out, softening, and reducing the sludge-like fears and worries of my mind.)

3) In this same sentence, you encounter the words, forgiving action of God. This forgiveness doesn’t refer to sin or any other dogma. It simply means releasing the negative thoughts and actions that separate you from others.

4) Finally, you claim the truth of who you are; not the person you may present to the world, but your true self, endowed with positive power, whole, strong and free.

This holiday season, I wish you patience, acceptance, and kindness—and the ability to attain peace of mind when you get triggered into negativity.

 Gigi Langer, PhD, wrote the award-winning 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity and Connection. Five stars on Amazon plus rave reviews. All order links here.

Posted on

How to Stay Serene with Your Family During The Holidays

worry less now gigi langerThose of us who grew up in dysfunctional homes often have an especially hard time staying serene during the holiday season. For example, long ago I saw a TV ad showing a smiling, happy family sharing Christmas dinner. I just blew up, “That’s not how it was at my home!” Later, I wrote this poem.

Possum Hill Christmas

 “I’m the youngest of four at this Christmas dinner. My feet dangle—clean socks, patent leather shoes. We sit, waiting for Dad to come home. Mom’s tense, fretting over peas, turkey, and gravy. Her mother is quiet, reserved, disapproving. Something unspoken thickens the air. But we pretend it isn’t there. Finally, he arrives, boots muddying the carpet, drunken roars clouding the air. I sink lower and lower into my chair. This isn’t happening. I’m not here.”

[Read how I healed the insecurities created by these and other events in Chapter 5 of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now.]

So many of us have harsh memories of the drunken bashes and ugly scenes birthed by copious amounts of holiday “spirits.” What an upside-down way of celebrating Christ’s birth! We knew we were supposed to be happy, but all too often we felt hurt and confused.

 Family Holidays: Tips To Stay Serene

Now, however, we’re no longer at the mercy of others. We can choose to be serene with our families by using the following tips.

  • Family Wounds. If you were harmed by your family members OR if you harmed the family you created, the damage may take years to heal. Instead of trying to fix that, we first heal ourselves and gain spiritual strength. If being with your own family might prove too distressing this year, feel free to set some boundaries.
  • Time with Family. Early on, I discovered (the hard way!) that, after about three days, I reverted to my old insecurities and unhappiness. So, I kept my family visits short. After a few years of growth, I was able to extend my time and stay serene.
  • Prayer and Meditation. To prepare for family gatherings, I often increase my prayer and meditation. If I start feeling upset or defensive during the visit, I use one of my favorite prayers : “Please help me to see this (situation, family member, etc.) differently.” It acknowledges that my perceptions are clouded by judgment or anger; and that a power greater than my self-centered fear can restore my serenity. I also use guided meditations to reprogram my tension or negativity, for example Kelly Hine’s bodyandsoulretreats.com and Kristin Neff’s SelfCompassion.org.

My Wish for You

I wish you the wisdom and power to put your own happiness and serenity ahead of the need to please others, especially family, during this holiday season. I send you lots of love and encouragement!

What are some of your favorite ways of staying serene during the holidays? Please share them in the comments section below.

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry” who  holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, and lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

Subscribe to Newsletter

Receive monthly updates and helpful tips from Gigi

about gigi

worry less now

speaking

Subscribe