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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

Author: Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer, PhD, wrote the award-winning "50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection" (4.8 stars). She's a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. She can help improve yours too! An author of six books on personal and professional growth, she's the self-proclaimed "Queen of Worry" and speaks from experience.
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GRIEVANCES BE GONE! Give up judgment to find love and connection

worry less now

Grievances–grudges, judgment, criticism, resentment, blame, disapproval, or attack—block us from happiness and serenity.

“Well I don’t DO those things,”

You might think this, and you’re probably right. But what about the condemning attitudes living in our minds? Can any of us say we don’t constantly judge others’ words and actions? Of course we do.

It sounds like this: “If I were him, I wouldn’t do that.” “Why can’t she just get along with us? What’s wrong with her?” “They should not be doing that; they’re corrupt.”

The Problem with Grievances

Even though such statements seem true, the problem is that we’re focusing on the negative rather than the positive.

When we choose to hold a grievance, we can’t see the other person’s true self—the purity of their spirit. Further, if we can’t see the goodness in them, we can’t claim it for ourselves. What we send out to others comes back to us; it’s that simple.

Many of us deny our own negativity by numbing ourselves with substances or other unhealthy habits—a dead end to positive growth. Even those trying to be more positive still struggle with inherent dark thoughts. I certainly do.

The good news is that I’ve found so many ways to escape my mind’s tendency to criticize and judge. You can find them in my book, “Worry Less Now,” and in my blog.

How to Overcome A Grievance

Here’s a technique that showed up today as I read Lesson 78, “Let miracles replace all grievances,” from A Course in Miracles. First I was to recall all my negative thoughts about an important person in my life: what that person had done, their “weaknesses,” and other offenses. Then I was to ask spirit to help me see him through the eyes of love—“Let your mind be shown the light in him beyond your grievances.”  Then it suggested that I thank this person for prompting my negativity and discomfort so that I could release it and be peaceful and happy.

I just did the exercise as directed. As I chose to focus on the perfection of this person’s spirit rather than the images my mind had conjured, I found a deep peace creep over me. I could hardly remember what I thought was “wrong,” and I felt a loving connection with the person. As a result, I felt the light of spirit growing in myself.

The miracle of replacing fear with love had occurred. Amen.

I would love to hear from you: What gets in the way of your serenity? How do you overcome grievances or grudges?

Worry Less Now Cover

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. 

Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors. 

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All Is Well

A PATH NATURALLY CORRECT

“How much simpler our lives can be if we only have the faith to accept what happens as a guidepost along a path that is naturally correct.” (Today’s Gift, Daily Meditations for Families by Hazelden)

Do you ever worry about the future or fret that things are not going well? Take a breath and relax. Then take another one. Instead of recalling the hardships of the “bad times,” remember how you were supported and what you learned on the other side. Tell yourself, “It’s not so bad.” Breathe deeply and remember: ALL IS WELL — even when your mind tells you it isn’t. Trust your path; it is naturally the correct one.

With love from Gigi. (Worry Less Now”)

PS. I’ve been celebrating my 30th wedding anniversary with Peter this past week & loving it!

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7 WAYS TO OVERCOME FEAR

These days, it’s really easy to fall prey to fear and insecurity about the future. So, I thought I’d share with you seven ways to overcome fear.

1) Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what’s right. Try a gratitude journal, random acts of kindness, finding something you appreciate about another person, or stopping to smell the roses (or in this case, our beautiful spring blossoming trees!)

2) Instead of obsessing about a negative situation until it seems to be a major issue, try to keep it in perspective. Remember that this too shall pass, and you’ve made it through worse things. Try to accept what is going on with calm trust that, even though things may appear scary or chaotic, all is well. For more on changing your perspective, see this post.

3) Instead of isolating with TV, media, and potato chips (or ice cream!), hang out with positive people striving to improve their lives. They will give you hope and make you laugh–the best tonic of all. Zoom has many meetings and gatherings to support your growth.

4) Instead of engaging in self-criticism, try self-compassion. Talk to yourself as if you were a small child who needs comforting and reassurance. Take good care of yourself by taking a hot bath or a soothing walk outside.

5) Instead of trying to change the past by thinking about how it could have been different, focus on what is going on right now, both inside and around your body. Savor the sensations of sound, touch, scent, vision, and taste.

6) Instead of living in the wreckage of your future, try being 100% in this present moment. Pay rapt attention to those you’re listening to and enjoy every moment of your life.

7) Instead of trying to change people, places, or things, admit that you have no power over them. Then focus on the only things you CAN control: your own attitudes and actions. Admit that you don’t know what is best in every situation. Practice acceptance. Let go and allow the mysterious power of spirit handle things.

What would you add? I would love to hear how you’re overcoming fear!
With love from Gigi, “Worry Less Now!”

Worry Less Now Cover overcome fear

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. 

Order my award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) HERE . Also available in e-book and audiobook.  4.8 stars on Amazon!

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A Mystery Quote: “Songs of Plenty and Songs of Want”

a course in miracles

Several years ago, my friend, Mo, dictated into her 1990s tape recorder several selections from A Course in Miracles (ACIM).  I’ve spent many hours listening to the 90-minute tape; I even converted it to a CD when cassettes died. Now it lives in my phone’s music app. I love every wise word Mo recorded, and I often thank “Angel Mo” for this dear gift.

At the very end of Mo’s recording is a section called, “The Human Experience.” I’ve always thought it was taken from ACIM, because everything else on the tape was from there. But this beautiful section is NOT in the Course, and I can’t find its source anywhere. CAN YOU? If You’re The First One to Find It, You’ll Get A Free Copy of “Worry Less Now.” Here is part of the section I love so much. 

The Human Experience

“So dear are you to me. I see you struggle and let go, struggle and let go again. And that is the dance of life. Seek not to end the dance. 

The earthly dance moves from ballroom to ballroom, 
from dance floor to dance floor. The cosmic dance moves from era to era. But the dance must continue until all the music has been heard. 

You are now hearing different stanzas to the same song. The song is salvation. The verses speak of learning all there is to learn. 

All there is to learn includes songs of plenty and songs of want. You learn the dance of prosperity and the dance of scarcity, until you realize that all the dances are the same.

You move to the rhythm, sway to the beat. You pause to start again. You feel the heartbeat of the music until your heart and the beat of the music are one. Then that dance is over.

Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are a child of a loving God who punishes you not.”

Isn’t that beautiful? Although it’s very similar the the Course‘s style, it’s not from there. I hope you can find out where it was published.

What IS a Course in Miracles, Anyway?

You may already know about the Course, perhaps from Marianne Williamson’s best seller, A Return to Love–a wonderful introduction. The three books form a “curriculum” that people study on their own or in a group, thus the reference to a “course.” It’s main purpose (the “miracle”) is to help us align our thoughts and actions with love rather than with fear.
Here is my summary of some of the key ideas presented in ACIM (from Chapter 3 in 50 Ways to Worry Less Now)

•  We are spiritual beings living inside a physical body. The confusion of the human experience comes from thinking our body represents the full extent of our being. The true essence of a person, however, is not the body. It is the spirit, also known as the soul, positive power, love, true self, and so on. Most of us seek to connect with a loving source of safety, comfort, and wisdom.

•  Fear separates us. When we believe we are merely a physical body, we think there isn’t enough love, attention, or material security to go around. We live in fear as we constantly compete against others to fulfill our human needs. In this survival state, we separate ourselves from one another. The Course and many other teachings refer to this self-centered fear as “the ego,” and consider it the main source of unhappiness. (Note that Freud defined the ego differently—as the decision-making part of the personality.)

•  Love connects us. When love (positive power) is our driving force, we trust there is enough of everything we need to be happy and secure. We connect with others in loving care and compassion. We are no longer driven by our fears and we find joy.

To simplify: Fear, judgment, and separation create negativity and worries. Loving connections cure them.

What do you think? Do you agree? What’s your experience with ideas such as these? I’d love to hear from you!

Worry Less Now CoverGigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.

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