Are You Stuck? Four Strategies to Get Unstuck

stop fear and doubt, worry less now

For the past few weeks I’ve felt stuck in fear and doubt.  I’ve written a new book because I wanted to share the tools that helped me face and grow through life challenges such as addiction, divorce, chronic pain, perfectionism, and co-dependence.  

The book goes on sale in February, so it’s time to start promoting it.  But I’m rather overwhelmed by the prospect.  My mind’s (not-so-helpful) whispered lies chatter away: “It’s too much work! Where do I start? Look how well other authors do it! What’s wrong with me?”

When such worries and negative thinking keep us stuck, how do we move forward? Today, I used four strategies to dissolve my fears and return to my happy, creative, productive self. It’s through struggles like this that I’ve discovered these tools.

1. Get Honest with Yourself. At first, my worries flew under the radar, coaxing me to eat sugary “treats,” binge-watch TV, and oversleep. Fortunately, I no longer use drugs, alcohol, overwork, or sex to avoid my feelings. Those are all dead-ends that stop growth in its tracks.

So, my first step was to honestly admit to myself that my latest challenge had me rattled. Then I could practice self-compassion (http://KristinNeff.com), and clear away the shame. (After all, how many authors really do know how to market a book?).

I gain self-honesty most easily when I can share my struggles with healthy friends. Journaling helps too; when my fears are out on page, they don’t seem insurmountable. Quite often I pray or meditate—both help me feel that I’m not alone and shrink my fears.

2. Claim Positive Power. Here’s the step that many balk at: I admitted that my willpower wasn’t going to change anything.  When I let go of my need for control and certainty, I can access a source of power greater than my fears.

My negative thinking told me I must try to figure out the magic formula that would make the book sell. Although it’s true that I do need to learn a lot, I don’t have to motivate myself with such fearful thoughts. My best inspiration and guidance come from a higher, wiser place.

You may be thinking, “Oh, man, here we go with that higher power stuff.” Power and wisdom come from many sources and it’s up to you to find your own. You might use a variety of terms for this power: courage, God, universal truth, providence, true self, angels—it doesn’t matter, as long as proves to be stronger than your fear.

Try reading and listening to words that inspire you. Then, just say to yourself, “Maybe I’ll try trusting a power greater than my fearful thinking.” That’s all that’s necessary.

3. Choose Your Future. Even when I’m stuck, I know what I’d like to have happen. In this case, I wanted the marketing process to get the book into the hands and hearts of the people it will help.

When I was stuck, I didn’t believe this could happen, and I was resentful that it seemed so hard. My mind was so clogged with negativity and fear that little inspiration could enter it.

But I didn’t have to say there. I set aside my worries and stated my goal; then I took actions to stream positive power into my body, mind, and spirit.

4. Use Growth Practices. First, I needed to reinstate my daily practices of reading inspiring writing, talking with supportive friends, meditating, and walking outdoors. I had been lax for the past weeks; that’s why I found myself at the mercy of my fears and doubts.

Your own daily tools for achieving peace might differ, but they will always lower the volume of your worries and whispered lies.

Today I used tapping therapy, a few new chants, and a prayer to dissolve my negativity. As a result, I now trust that the right resources and inspired actions to successfully market my book are on their way. In fact, this article is my first creative action in a while. Whew!

When your own worries and doubts threaten your happiness and productivity, try these four strategies:

  • Honesty: “Here’s what’s going on inside me.”
  • Power: “I claim courage and intuitive direction.”
  • Choices: “This is what I want and I’m going for it!”
  • Growth Practices: “I’m actively connecting with loving power.”

In my own and others’ experience, these practices yield wonderful results:

  • Peace of Mind. Manage life’s challenges with calm, wisdom, hope, and gratitude.
  • Clarity. Fulfill your dreams without limitations.
  • Enjoy relationships that thrive and serve others.

worry , recovery, sanity

Gigi Langer, PhD.  Based on her work in psychology and personal experience in therapy, recovery, and a variety of spiritual teachings, Gigi is a sought-after speaker, retreat leader, and award-winning writer and professor.  She has co-authored five other books for educators.

50 Ways to Worry Less Now will be released in early 2018.  Learn more at http://gigilanger.com/new-book-worry-less-now/

Worry Less Now – A Publishing Adventure

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now ReleaseFor six years, I wrote and revised Worry Less Now!  It contains everything I know about overcoming worry and negative thinking. Very practical; 50 specific tools; lots of stories.

Finally, It’s time to get it out there!

I created my own publishing company, Possum Hill Press, and subcontracted to talented folks who came to me through friends and relatives: Editor, typographer, proofreader, cover designer, photographer, and printing company. And, let’s not forget the social media marketing pro!

This last part’s the hardest for me. I’m not a fan of promoting myself, but I AM a fan of this book! So, here I go, connecting with you!

The e-book and the print version will be available for pre-order in January  2018.

BUT:  Next week I’ll send the print book free to 20 Advance Readers who agree to review or promote it.  Click here if you’re interested:  http://gigilanger.com/contact-me/

My early readers love Worry Less Now!  Here’s what they’re saying:

 “I’ve become reluctant to recommend personal growth books to my clients because so few seem to focus on taking action. Worry Less Now is different. Rather than setting herself up as the authority, it’s clear that she works the strategies and tools as part of her ongoing growth.  She comes across as warm, humorous, approachable, accepting, credible, and sincerely invested in the personal growth of her readers.” (Christine McCully, LMC, MA.)

 “Your personal story and the examples of the strategies helping peoples’ lives show that the techniques really work. I learned so much.” (Advance Reader)

Thirty years ago, I was a prisoner of worry who used alcohol, romance, and professional accomplishments to sooth my frayed nerves. But, those ploys only escalated my fears and doubts. Then I decided to stop the self-destruction and learn to be happy.

After 31-years studying and applying tools from recovery pro­grams, cognitive therapy, energy work, scientific literature, and a variety of spiritual teachings, I’ve figured out how to calm my own and many others’ anxieties and fears.

I know you too can overcome your own worries because it only takes one decision: To apply new ways of working with your negative thoughts and feelings. This book teaches you how.

I’ve boiled it all down to four life strategies and fifty practical tools to dissolve the “whispered lies” of negative thinking. The book is chock- full of compelling stories and easy-to-use ideas that empower you to manage your troubling times with calm wisdom, fulfill your dreams, and create loving relationships.

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi Langer, PhD, is a former “queen of worry.” She’s also an award-winning educator, speaker, and author. Her new book, Worry Less Now.   can be ordered in January 2018. It contains 50 powerful tips to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, and be happy.


Can A Course in Miracles Cure Your Worries?

A Course in Miracles BookHow Does A Course in Miracles Work

I presented the ideas in this blog at a recent workshop  in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  If you’re a student of the Course, I’d love to receive your comments. If you’re new to it, you may find its teachings helpful to your personal growth. It has changed my life!

What is A Course in Miracles? (from Wikipedia)

The book, A Course in Miracles (ACIM), consists of three sections entitled “Text”, “Workbook” and “Manual for Teachers.” Its purpose is to bring about a “spiritual transformation,”  In 1965, Helen Schucman began working at a medical center as Bill Thetford’s research associate. When their weekly office meetings became quite contentious, Thetford concluded that “[t]here must be another way.” Schucman believed this interaction triggered a series of visions, dreams, and heightened imagery, along with an “inner voice” that told her: “This is a Course in Miracles, please take notes.” The next day, she explained her “note taking” to Thetford. To her surprise, Thetford encouraged her to continue the process. Schucman said that the writing made her very uncomfortable, though it never seriously occurred to her to stop. The transcription was completed in 1977. ACIM is published by the Foundation for Inner Peace in Novato, CA.

General Principles of ACIM : Gigi’s Ideas (Workbook lesson # in parentheses)

A miracle is a shift in perception. We choose God’s loving thoughts over ego’s fearful thoughts.  We can align our minds with either Love or Fear.

  • Love: God. Spirit. The only reality. Everything that comes from love is good: e.g., peace, service, care.
  • Fear: The ego. Illusions. The part of the mind that knows only fear: judging, separating, attacking. God did not create the ego. It’s driven by bodily instincts for survival and competition. When people operate out of fear, it’s simply an appeal for help.

Who Am I, Really? “We’re spiritual beings living in a human body.”

  • I am a beloved child of God. I am spirit. (But I’ve forgotten this.) (114)
  • I am not a body. I am free, for I am still as God created me. (201)
  • God is in my mind. My mind holds only what I think with God. (141)

Don’t Trust Ego’s Thoughts

Ego’s voice is the first one and the loudest one we hear. It tells us happiness is not in God; that it’s in worldly people, places & things.

  • I’m never upset for the reason I think. (5)
  • I’m upset because I see something that isn’t there. (6)
  • I see only the past. (7) I have no neutral thoughts. (23)
  • The world I see holds nothing I want. (128)

“It’s His/Her Fault!”

We’re sinless in God’s Eyes: We love ourselves & others because God does. Fear (ego) separates us from our own spirit AND one another.

  • When people operate out of fear, it is simply an appeal for help.
  • What I see is a form of vengeance (attack/defense). (22)
  • My grievances hide the light of the world. (69)

There’s Only One of Us Here

What we see in another is what we believe about ourselves. As we love and forgive others, we dissolve our sense of separation from God     and our fellows. We’re students and teachers to one other.

  • To give and receive are one in truth. (108)
  • All that I give is given to myself. (126)
  • I’m not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. (18)  

How to Escape Ego and Fear

Every time we’re disturbed, we need to reject ego’s negative    perceptions and ask God (Love) to help us see things differently. There is no “order of difficulty” to either problems or miracles. They’re all the same: either misperceptions or the truth.

 I Want to Be Free of Ego’s Perceptions

  • I share God’s will for happiness for me. (102)
  • I am not the victim of the world I see. (31)
  • The past is over. It can touch me not. (289)
  • I could see peace instead of this. (34)

I Choose Love over Fear

  • I am determined to see this differently. (21)
  • Let miracles replace all grievances. (78)
  • Let every voice but God’s be still in me. (254)
  • I rest in God. (109)
  • Love is the way I walk in gratitude. (195)

Related Prayers

Third Step Prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee – To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Seventh Step Prayer:  My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

The Activity of God (J. Sig Paulson — Unity Church): The activity of God is the only power at work in my mind, heart, and life. All false beliefs, all negative appearances are dissolved right now by the loving, forgiving action of God. I am whole, strong, and free as God created me to be.

Want to Learn More?

Start with Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love; Then get my friend, Karen Casey’s, two wonderful books, Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course and 52 Ways to Live The Course in Miracleshttps://www.amazon.com/Karen-Casey/e/B001IGNGO2

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi has studied ACIM since 1988. She now attends Course study groups in Michigan and Florida.  Langer is a certified facilitator of Gerald Jampolsky’s Attitudinal Healing, a program that helps children and adults struggling with disease apply the ideas from ACIM.

Gigi Langer’s new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, is being published by Possum Hill Press in February, 2018.

Super Tools for Worry

Worry Less, positive thinking
Don’t Worry!

 

If you’re like me and sometimes worry about a challenge you’re facing, here are a few tools that  help me through it. I usually emerge free of fear and ready to enjoy life–stress-free!

First,  I get honest with myself that I’m a little rattled. (Quite often I try to deny how I’m really feeling by trying to “put on a good face”– even with myself!!)

Then I admit that fear has been in the driver’s seat of my mind and I invite a  power bigger than my fear to take over my thinking. I often merely ask for help to see things differently.

Next, I choose to take the necessary actions to find peace of mind. This requires a commitment to my own happiness and serenity.

Finally, I apply growth tools to dissolve my worries so I can connect with wisdom and love. I persist in using tools such as a simple prayer, affirmation, or calling a healthy friend to share my concerns. Sometimes I use the app Insight Timer to help me relax and trust that all is well.

Insight Timer is great; you can select guided meditations by the amount of time you have, person, or topic.  I just used the one by Tara Brach to calm myself about the next phase in my book-writing adventure: Doing publicity, another whole new challenge!

Here’s the link to the app: https://insighttimer.app.link/HQZbB2ezuF

Tara Brach’s  15-minute meditation helped me access the courage, inspiration, and peace of mind to move forward with my project. Her wonderful books and other products are at www.tarabrach.com

I know that honesty, power, choices, and tools like these can help you  connect with the power of your true self—unfettered by fear, ego, and limitation. The sky’s the limit!

(PS: The advance reader copies of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now will be printed next week! Check it out out https:// Gigilanger.com/new-book-worry-less-now/) Release date: March 2018…unless you subscribe (-: