Even though I know the impressive research on the benefits of meditation (it actually shrinks the part of the brain involved with stress!), it’s SO hard to do first thing in the morning.
Right out of bed, I so enjoy my cup of coffee with Peter, chatting, and watching our cat, Murphy’s, antics. And then, about half the time, I’m off and running–and there goes the meditation right out the door!
I need “training wheels” when trying to establish new routines, so I love it when Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfreyoffer their 21-day meditation series. It’s free and every 4-6 months it’s a different theme, so I learn new stuff.
For example, the one I just listened to was about the role of attention in attracting our desires into our lives. Deepak was his usual clear self as he explained, “What we pay attention to will grow!”
The power source for manifesting our dreams, desires, and intentions is attention.
When attention is focused from the level of true self, our desires easily reach fulfillment.
Desires that arise from a worried, confused, or agitated mind struggle to be fulfilled.
When we meditate, the intentions arise naturally from the silence, and the energy of attraction automatically obeys what the mind desires.
So, there’s another reason to meditate!! Tapping into my quiet, wise self always yields insights, valuable nudges for action, and great ideas for writing. In fact, I found I couldn’t write my book “Worry Less Now”without it.
If you too need some “training wheels” to learn to meditate, download the app, Insight Timer,or check out some of Kelly Hine’sfabulous guided meditations.
Finally, here’s a little something to make you laugh.
HOW NOT TO MEDITATE (Susan Morales)
Wear your tightest jeans; not the stretchy kind; the ones that pinch at the waist so your midriff folds over and it’s hard to breathe.
Recall a recent conversation where you felt misunderstood, and analyze what you should have said. Visualize what you’ll do next chance you get.
Find something on your body or clothing to help you fidget, like cleaning your fingernails, picking the pile off your sweater, or winding hair around your finger.
Don’t set an intention or an alarm, look at the clock every time you think of it.
Focus outside yourself, inhale short and shallow.
Tell yourself you can’t meditate.
PS: I better stop writing this and go do my daily meditation–I didn’t get to it this morning!
Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.
Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.
If you haven’t read (or even if you have!) yesterday’s blog post, I thought I’d add this video recording of “Innocent”–it fits so well with the blog theme: “Worthy of Love”
When I finally got honest about my addictions and began working a recovery program, I discovered the main whispered lie behind my self-destruction: “You are not lovable.”
Perhaps this single belief—that we are not worthy of love—haunts every one of us at some point.
My unconscious response to this belief was to try with all my might to show everyone, including myself, that I was worthy of love.
I spent many years inventing a “perfect self” by observing and imitating others who seemed to have the attention I so craved.
My therapist called this strategy the zero-sum game: When I observed and judged myself as less than someone else, I gave myself a minus 1. When I saw myself as better than someone else, I gave myself a plus 1. The sum of these two numbers is zero. Nobody wins.
In high school, I compared myself with the popular girls, judged myself as unworthy, and then began to imitate them. When they finally accepted me, I felt superior to the less popular girls (plus 1). When I got a good grade, I was on top of the world (plus 1). But when I received a low grade or criticism, I was devastated (minus 1).
Comparing myself to others set me up for a lifetime of debilitating perfectionism, one of my most painful survival strategies.
One might say I became an egotist with an inferiority complex. I went back and forth between seeing myself as either the scum of the earth or far above others. There was no middle ground.
Why do we try so hard to create this invented self? Those of us who grew up in troubled homes concluded, “If my caregivers don’t give me love, then surely I’m not worthy of it.” To prove them wrong, I set out to convince the world that I was lovable.
The irony is that the “impostor-self” doesn’t bring long-term security or contentment. In fact, it plays havoc with relationships, practically guaranteeing their failure. Since I believed my partner loved the personI was pretending to be, I was afraid if he knew who I really was, he’d take one look and run in the opposite direction!
Even more damaging, this illusion kept me from knowing the truth of who I am: a beloved, perfect, child of God / Universe / Spirit.
How do we discover our lovable self? Since I had been abused and had used sex to attract “love,” I felt impure and sinful. Deep down, I thought I wasn’t worthy of love. After years of therapy, recovery, and sexual healing groups, my gifted therapist said to me, “We’ve done everything we can through talk-therapy; now it’s time for energy healing.”
At my first session, the energy practitioner placed her hands on my head as I reclined with my arms and feet crossed. Then she asked me to repeat, “All parts of me are pure, innocent, and sinless.” After a few minutes, I felt a tingling sensation as I felt layers of negativity and shame being lifted out of my body. At the end of my second session, I left feeling lighter and free of a great weight. I was told to continue saying that affirmation.
Today, I know I am worthy of love. You too can come to believe these truths:
You are a uniquely created and purely good being.
Your essence—your true self—is a spirit of love and care.
Your own worth is established by God / Universe / Love.
Whatever isn’t good or pure is associated with your human experience on earth, not with your spirit.
Whatever may have happened in your life, it does not override the truth of who you are in spirit.
I’ll close with a few words from my favorite Taylor Swift song, “Innocent.” Video here. Complete lyrics here.
“Did some things you can’t speak of; But at night you live it all again; Who you are is not what you did; You’re still an innocent. Every one of us has messed up too. Minds change like the weather; I hope you remember: Today is never too late to be brand new.”
Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.
Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.
To Gain Peace of Mind, Detach!
I often hear a negative tone on my TV screen and news sites. So many of the experts–regardless of their point of view–sound sarcastic, judgmental, and convinced they are absolutely 100% right.
Sadly, what we see in the media too often presses the fear button in our psyches. If spiritual principles hold true, this is dangerous business.
Hatred and condemnation multiply fear and draw us away from peace of mind (love).
I’m not suggesting that we bury our heads in the sand. I read a variety of news articles so I can be informed. I also write to my local and national representatives and, of course I vote. But I refrain from judging and worrying.
It’s all too easy to let the daily onslaught of news convince us that we are at the mercy of the world’s conflicts. The truth is, our essence is spiritual, untouched by today’s fear-filled scenarios.
Another word for “gentle indifference” might be “detachment”—a standing apart without getting caught up in the drama; but still acting from a place of peace and integrity.
Here’s how I try to detach and gain peace of mind, so I can contribute to our society’s future in the best way possible:
The minute I hear troubling news, I pray for those involved, that they may be guided to the best solutions for all.
When I’m tempted to respond negatively, I take a few deep breaths and affirm that all is in perfect order, even if my limited perceptions can’t see it.
I trust that by seeking peace of mind first, I will be guided to the right thoughts, words, and actions.
I accept that my goal is to be a channel of love, not fear.
How do you remain centered and positively productive during turbulent times? Please share in the Comments section below.
Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.
Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.
Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.
Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 
To Gain Peace of Mind, Detach!