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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

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Beat the Procrastination Habit! Part 1

procrastination

I’ve struggled far too often with procrastination.

Today I’m telling myself I should get this next promotion up on my website. But it involves some new skills– and I find that a little intimidating; besides, look at all the other things begging for my attention! So, there the promotion reminder sits, day after day, becoming more and more drenched in guilt. I’ll get to it; right after I write this blog!

I’ve had a lot of experience with my procrastination habit, and I’ve found a few techniques that help me get even the most unpleasant tasks done. I hope they work for you, too. Read all the way to the bottom for one of the most powerful tips. Good luck!!

Make a list of the things you both want and need to get done in the near future. Breathe and tell yourself that you do Not have to get it all done today.

Identify today’s tasks. Put a star next to the ones that must be done today. For example, “order ___” or “shop for food” or “write ___ report.” Write these items on a new list so it doesn’t look so long and overwhelming. (Place a “?” next to ones you’re not sure about.)

Identify important, but not urgent, items. On the first big list, circle the ones that will ultimately improve your life or work. For example, “exercise” or “meet with ___ (an emotionally healthy friend)” or “write __proposal.”  Put those important-but-not-urgent items on a different list  and schedule them in your calendar. I sometimes place a “?” next to each one to indicate that if I don’t get to it, I can move it to another day. (But I never delete it!)

Here’s how to get started on today’s list.

1 Pick one easy thing to do first. Do that one thing and pat yourself on the back. Then go get a cup of coffee or tea. Smile!

2 Return to your work space and look at the item you just crossed off. Breathe in and feel good about doing that one thing. Do NOT think about the rest of the list for now.

3 Select another item and proceed as in steps 1 and 2.,

4 If you get tense, worried, or resistant: Go somewhere private. Take a few belly-inflating breaths and loosen your jaw and shoulders. Get quiet. Tell yourself, “I only need to do one more thing on this list. I can come back to it later. It will all get done.” Then return to the list and select another item.

Here’s another powerful tip: Set a timer for 5–15 minutes and tell yourself you can stop working on the list when it rings. If you feel like continuing when it rings, then set it for another 5–15 minutes. This “takes you off the hook” of thinking that the only success is finishing the entire list, and allows you to congratulate yourself for completing the 5–15 minutes instead.

I hope these tips help you beat the procrastination habit. They sure work for me!

worry less now reviewsGigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

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Want to Improve Your Life? TRY MEDITATION!

meditate on beach
Like me, do you struggle to meditate?

Even though I know the impressive research on the benefits of meditation (it actually shrinks the part of the brain involved with stress!), it’s SO hard to do first thing in the morning.

Right out of bed, I so enjoy my cup of coffee with Peter, chatting, and watching our cat, Murphy’s, antics. And then, about half the time, I’m off and running–and there goes the meditation right out the door!

I need “training wheels” when trying to establish new routines, so I love it when Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey offer their 21-day meditation series. It’s free and every 4-6 months it’s a different theme, so I learn new stuff.

For example, the one I just listened to was about the role of attention in attracting our desires into our lives. Deepak was his usual clear self as he explained, “What we pay attention to will grow!”

The power source for manifesting our dreams, desires, and intentions is attention.
When attention is focused from the level of true self, our desires easily reach fulfillment.   
Desires that arise from a worried, confused, or agitated mind struggle to be fulfilled.
When we meditate, the intentions arise naturally from the silence, and the energy of attraction automatically obeys what the mind desires.
So, there’s another reason to meditate!! Tapping into my quiet, wise self always yields insights, valuable nudges for action, and great ideas for writing. In fact, I found I couldn’t write my book “Worry Less Now” without it.
If you too need some “training wheels” to learn to meditate, download the app, Insight Timer, or check out some of Kelly Hine’s fabulous guided meditations.
Finally, here’s a little something to make you laugh.
       ??   HOW NOT TO MEDITATE (Susan Morales)
Wear your tightest jeans; not the stretchy kind; the ones that pinch at the waist so your midriff folds over and it’s hard to breathe.
Recall a recent conversation where you felt misunderstood, and analyze what you should have said. Visualize what you’ll do next chance you get.
Find something on your body or clothing to help you fidget, like cleaning your fingernails, picking the pile off your sweater, or winding hair around your finger.
Don’t set an intention or an alarm, look at the clock every time you think of it.
Focus outside yourself, inhale short and shallow. 
Tell yourself you can’t meditate.
PS: I better stop writing this and go do my daily meditation–I didn’t get to it this morning!

gigilanger_worrylessnowGigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

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You ARE Worthy of Love!

You Are Worthy of Love
Photo by Tim Mossholder from Pexels

When I finally got honest about my addictions and began working a recovery program, I discovered the main whispered lie behind my self-destruction: “You are not lovable.”

Perhaps this single belief—that we are not worthy of love—haunts every one of us at some point.

My unconscious response to this belief was to try with all my might to show everyone, including myself, that I was worthy of love.

I spent many years inventing a “perfect self” by observing and imitating others who seemed to have the attention I so craved.

My therapist called this strategy the zero-sum game: When I observed and judged myself as less than someone else, I gave myself a minus 1. When I saw myself as better than someone else, I gave myself a plus 1. The sum of these two numbers is zero. Nobody wins.

In high school, I compared myself with the popular girls, judged myself as unworthy, and then began to imitate them. When they finally accepted me, I felt superior to the less popular girls (plus 1). When I got a good grade, I was on top of the world (plus 1). But when I received a low grade or criticism, I was devastated (minus 1).

Comparing myself to others set me up for a lifetime of debilitating perfectionism, one of my most painful survival strategies.

One might say I became an egotist with an inferiority complex. I went back and forth between seeing myself as either the scum of the earth or far above others. There was no middle ground.

Why do we try so hard to create this invented self? Those of us who grew up in troubled homes concluded, “If my caregivers don’t give me love, then surely I’m not worthy of it.” To prove them wrong, I set out to convince the world that I was lovable.

The irony is that the “impostor-self” doesn’t bring long-term security or contentment. In fact, it plays havoc with relationships, practically guaranteeing their failure. Since I believed my partner loved the person I was pretending to be, I was afraid if he knew who I really was, he’d take one look and run in the opposite direction!

Even more damaging, this illusion kept me from knowing the truth of who I  am: a beloved, perfect, child of God / Universe / Spirit.

How do we discover our lovable self? Since I had been abused and had used sex to attract “love,” I felt impure and sinful. Deep down, I thought I wasn’t worthy of love. After years of therapy, recovery, and sexual healing groups, my gifted therapist said to me, “We’ve done everything we can through talk-therapy; now it’s time for energy healing.”

At my first session, the energy practitioner placed her hands on my head as I reclined with my arms and feet crossed. Then she asked me to repeat, “All parts of me are pure, innocent, and sinless.” After a few minutes, I felt a tingling sensation as I felt layers of negativity and shame being lifted out of my body. At the end of my second session, I left feeling lighter and free of a great weight. I was told to continue saying that affirmation.

Other energy healers have taught me tapping routines, and I use a wide variety of other cognitive and spiritual techniques to replace negative with positive self-talk. Most of those tools appear in my new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.

Today, I know I am worthy of love. You too can come to believe these truths:

  • You are a uniquely created and purely good being.
  • Your essence—your true self—is a spirit of love and care.
  • Your own worth is established by God / Universe / Love.
  • Whatever isn’t good or pure is associated with your human experience on earth, not with your spirit.
  • Whatever may have happened in your life, it does not override the truth of who you are in spirit.

I’ll close with a few words from my favorite Taylor Swift song, “Innocent.” Video here. Complete lyrics here.

 “Did some things you can’t speak of; But at night you live it all again; Who you are is not what you did; You’re still an innocent. Every one of us has messed up too. Minds change like the weather; I hope you remember: Today is never too late to be brand new.”

Worry Less Now bookGigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

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