Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Ā Love More Now!

7 Tips to Stop the Nasty Voice in Your Head

Do you have a voice in your head that incessantly whispers lies of impending doom or replays past events in the hope of changing them?

It might sound like this: ā€œI alwaysā€¦(fail, am rejected, sabotage my success)ā€ OR ā€œIf only he or she would (fill in the blank), we would all be okay.ā€œ

Although I used to hear this voice often, over the years I’ve learned to turn such negative thoughts into positive ones. Here are a few tips that might help you do the same.

  1. Notice how the voice in your head causes tension in your body and perhaps emotions of anger, pain, frustration, envy, or a need for security, recognition or love.
  2. Stand apart from the thoughts and feelings, as if youā€™re on a balcony observing them. Do NOT condemn them.
  3. Breathe slowly and deeply until your body calms down. Withdraw your attention from your worrying and focus on your breathing.
  4. Recognize who is watching the thoughts. It’s a part of your mind independent of your thoughts and emotions. This is your true self (higher self, God-mind, etc). It is greater, stronger, and wiser than the imagined disturbances.
  5. Make a choice: Do you want to stay in the drama of the fear-filled voices in your head, or do you want to experience peace and happiness?
  6. Write your mindā€™s false messages in a journal. Notice that many of them predict one of two horrible things: 1) past pain will repeat itself, or 2) the future will be disastrous. KNOW THAT NONE OF THESE IS TRUE.
  7. Dissolve your mindā€™s lies by using meditation, affirmations, prayer, therapy, yoga, inspirational reading, groups, energy work, or any other method to connect with the goodness and light of your true self.

As you refuse to believe the fearful voice in your head, sooner or later the answers to your troubles will appear in the most amazing way and for the best of all involved.

HOW DO YOU CALM YOUR OWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS? I’d love to hear from you!

GIGI LANGER is the former “Queen of Worry” whose award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, rates 4.7 stars on Amazon. She holds a PhD from Stanford University in Psychology in Education.

ENJOY LIFEā€”UNFETTERED BY THE PAST!

IĀ recently hurt my knee and have been in a lot of pain. My thoughts immediately returned to my many years of limitation and anguish with two frozen shoulders. I was terrified this experience would be the same.

Unfortunately, the mind uses the past to predict the future. If our past was painful, we tend to see pain lurking around every corner.

Such hyper-vigilance causes stress, cardiac problems, gastric difficulties, depression, and a variety of other ailments.

WE CAN REPROGRAM OUR MINDS

The good news is, filling our minds with peaceful, positive thoughts dissolves our old fears. But, these new thoughts must be fed to the mind over and over again.

For example, a daily gratitude list or morning meditation teaches the mind to expect better things. Mantras, affirmations, visualization, the Golden Key (explained here), and consistent prayer do the same.

Finally, choose wisely when sharing your tough times with others.

PICK YOUR CONFIDANTS CAREFULLY

(See this post for more detail.) Avoid those who keep focusing on the upsetting situation, talk only about themselves, or suggest immediate action.

Instead, choose caring, healthy people who guide you to become calm so you can access the strength and wisdom of your “positive power.” (More about that here).

As we use such practices to calm our fears, we realize the past has no control over us, so we don’t need to fear the future. We’ll begin to relax and enjoy lifeā€”revel in it, even!

PS: I’M SO GLAD I WROTE THIS to remind myself of the truth. I am not a victim of my past! All is well. My knee will heal in God’s time. And truth be told, I DID need to slow down a little!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry” who writes, speaks, and encourages others to overcome their worries, addictions, and negative thinking. Her PhD is from Stanford University.

Get Gigiā€™s award-winning book, ā€œ50 Ways to Worry Less Nowā€ (4.7 stars Amazon). Discounted signed copy at GigiLanger.com/buy

OUR DISTORTED FEARS!

ā€œOur fears, whether large or small, were distorted. And we still distort those fears, on occasion, because we move away from the spiritual reality of our lives.ā€ Karen Casey, ā€Each Day a Dew Beginningā€ (Hazelden)

Sometimes my fears grab the microphone and whisper (or sometimes scream) lies such as: ā€œIf I canā€™t fix this, I canā€™t be happy!!ā€

I fell victim to this incessant voice recently as I tried to resolve thorny technical issues with Amazon and i-tunes. Further, a barely started book chapter was due July 9. After several weeks, I could not resolve these issues, NO MATTER WHAT I DID!

Eventually, I found myself swearing at other drivers and peeling out onto a busy street. That reckless action got my attention.

So, I admitted to myself how pissed I was and went to a meeting. There I admitted how victimized I feltā€”just like a powerless little girl. As others shared the ā€œwisdom of the rooms,ā€ Spiritā€™s voice of hope and sanity dissolved my rage.

When I got home, I listed on paper the three situations and then wrote ā€œHigher Power, I place each of these into your hands and mind. I thank you for the perfect resolution for each of them.ā€

The next day, God pulled the rabbits out of the hat! Amazon e-mailed to explain what I needed to do; the lovely i-tunes people resolved that technical issue; and I found out the book chapter wasnā€™t due for two months.

Now, if that isnā€™t evidence that ā€œturning it overā€ works, what is?

I sometimes ask myself, ā€œWhy couldnā€™t I have let it go sooner and saved myself all this aggravation?ā€ Even after 33 years, I sometimes still deny my feelingsā€”especially anger (remember, ā€œAll addictions are feeling disorders.ā€)

For me, the only solution to my mindā€™s distortions is to surrender them to my Higher Power. I’m always grateful when I do — even if it takes a I while!

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU?? I’d love to hear from you!

Interview Part 1: Your Destructive Whispered Lies

Want to worry less? Become aware of your negative self-talk:Ā  ā€œwhispered liesā€ such as, ā€œOh, this is just so awful.ā€Ā  ā€œI canā€™t handle this.ā€ ā€œI need to fix (situation/person) right now.ā€ ā€œI canā€™t be happy until (situation/person) changes.ā€ ā€œIā€™ll never be able to do that.ā€ or “I wish I hadn’t . . .”

Stressful thoughts like these scare us so much that we end up with life-threatening illnesses, or we find ourselves too preoccupied to give love and attention to our family or friends. Not a recipe for happiness!

How do we overcome our whispered lies so we can find peace, wisdom, and fulfilling relationships?

Thatā€™s what Charita and I talked about in this interview series about my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, And Connection.

Interviewer, Charita H. Cadenhead, Realtor, Author, Radio host, Entrepreneur (R.A.R.E.). http://renewrefreshreset.com/about/charita-cadenhead/

worry less nowGigi LangerĀ holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.Ā Order her award-winning book,Ā 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon or get 20% here off with promo code 20lessnow.