recovery Archives - Page 14 of 16

March 21, 2019July 31, 2020

WHEN LIFE ISN’T WORKING (Video)

Have you ever felt like your life isn’t working?? I sure have! Fortunately, I’ve found many helpful ways to get my life “working well” again so I can be peaceful and strong, no matter what is going on.

In this 7-minute video, I explain this quote from my book, “When life isn’t working, it’s usually because we’re trying to force things to go our way.”

This is PART 2 of the hour-long interview about my book with Charita Cadenhead for her radio broadcast, “About the Book.”

If you can relate to my ideas, let me know! Find out how to get through your tough times by using helpful tools from my book and blog.

Interviewer: Charita H. Cadenhead, Realtor, Author, Radio host, Entrepreneur (R.A.R.E.).

“50 Ways to Worry Less Now” won the Indie Excellence Award for self-help and rates 5 stars on Amazon.

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.

Order it at Amazon or Barnes and Noble. E-books also available. Audiobook coming June 2019.

March 8, 2019March 13, 2019

HOW EASY IS IT FOR YOU TO RECEIVE CARE FROM OTHERS?

How easily can you receive care from from others? This question stopped me in my tracks when I read it in The Answer Is Simple: Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! by spiritual teacher Sonia Choquette.

Surely, I thought, that wasn’t a problem for me! I had allowed plenty of men to “take care” of me–but only when I was in control of the payoff. The rest of the time, I was fiercely self-sufficient.

When I considered that I could receive care from other people, with NO strings attached, I could barely fathom it. I had always felt church and other organizations only welcomed me because they wanted my money or time.

Further, I didn’t feel I deserved such generous attention. My alcoholic home had taught me I wasn’t worth someone’s care or love; and that being a care-giver was safer than expecting it from another.

So, it’s not surprising that when I first went to 12-step programs, I was hesitant to accept the support offered by others–especially the women! Up until then, I had always relied on my lover and one female “using buddy.” I had no idea how to interact with healthy women without my old manipulative ways.

But, after months of hearing my recovering friends talk about their loving sponsors, I finally took the plunge and asked someone to be my sponsor. I couldn’t believe it when she said yes and gave me hours and hours of her undivided attention, just so I could stay sober (and she stayed sober too!)

It’s almost impossible to grow spiritually without healthy friends whose main purpose is to do the same. So, if you’re trying to straighten out your life (or keep it sane), you’ll consider this question carefully:
** How willing are you to receive help from others? **

It took me a while, but I’m happy to report that I now count myself rich, knowing that a select group of friends would immediately come to my rescue in any crisis.

To examine your own willingness to receive care from others, take a moment to consider these questions.

1. How easy is it for you to ask others for help?
2. Do you believe you always need to appear strong and competent?
3. Are you most comfortable in the role of helping others?
4. Can you graciously accept healthy loving care regardless of where it comes from?
5. What false beliefs might stand in the way of you being a better receiver?

If you can’t trust others to give you love without expecting something in return, or if you believe you don’t deserve others’ support, I encourage you to let go of this “I am an island” mentality (as in Paul Simon’s song, “I am a rock”). Perhaps counseling, spiritual practices, or other healthy people can help you accept loving care from others.

For tips on finding healthy friends, read this article. To learn more about overcoming negative, self-limiting thinking so you can enjoy peace, clarity, and connection, see GigiLanger.com.

Order her award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.

December 27, 2018

MAKE A 2018 GRATITUDE LIST!

worry less now gigi langer — From Unsplash

Dear Blog Followers,

We hope you and your loved ones are well and we send our best wishes for a happy holiday season and a wonderful 2019. As you know, “counting your blessings” is a great way to feel better about almost anything. So, here are a few of my favorites from 2018 . . . plus the next big goal!

Gigi’s 2018 Gratitude List

You and all “Gigi Langer” followers. Without your appreciation and enthusiasm for what I write, this site would not exist. You motivate me to share ideas and experiences that might be helpful or inspiring. And I absolutely LOVE it when you comment on my posts–both here and in FaceBook. So, here’s a big THANK YOU for your encouragement!
An active and fun life. Peter (my 4th husband–yup!) and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary in 2019. I’m so grateful that we still love every moment together. We both play a little golf and enjoy time with friends. Peter’s got lots of home projects going, and I’m still very involved in supporting my own and others’ recovery from addiction and alcoholism.
Our families. We are all well and happy. A few have left us: my mother in Dec. 2014 and our brother-in-law, Kyran, last spring. I enjoy time with my sisters and brother, and with Peter’s family. Every year we all realize how precious are the hours together.
Inspiration and service. For the past few years, I’ve been attending A Course in Miracles study group at Karen Casey’s home. This is such a gift, as she’s long been one of my writing idols (So many of us in recovery have used her daily meditation books, e.g., Each Day a New Beginning, from Hazelden.) I’m also so grateful to my fellow Board Members of the Ann Arbor Women’s Group; for 11 years we’ve been connecting women in sobriety!
Live music. This year we saw The Music Man (Peter’s favorite), My Fair Lady, Martin Sexton (if you don’t know his music, check it out here; he’s phenomenal, especially live), a full performance of the Messiah (it “took me to church”), and Peter’s favorite group Manhattan Transfer (masters of vocal-harmony-jazz). Last week we attended Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas” and the song “count your blessings instead of sheep” prompted this gratitude list.
I published my book! 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, And Connection was a huge endeavor, occupying most of 2012-2017. Possum Hill Press published it in February 2018, and it has already earned great reviews on Amazon and from Publisher’s Weekly (BookLife), Midwest Book Review, and The Library Journal. Last summer, it received the 2018 National Indie Excellence Award in the self-help category.
The next project. One of my biggest life surprises occurred when God tapped me on the shoulder and had me enthusiastically running up to my office to write a book. Now that it’s completed, he’s sent another little nudge: Make an audio book! It’s taken me a while to warm up to the idea, but I’m doing it (How can you say “No!” to God?). Check out my first 3 videos showing how I’m approaching this task. They’re on YouTube too (Gigi Langer). Here’s the link for the fourth video, Gigi Makes an Audio Book, part 4.

Perhaps you too will make a gratitude list for 2018. Focusing on the good things brings more of the same into your life. I’d love to see your list!

I give thanks for every one of you who reads what I write, and look forward to our continued partnership in giving and receiving love.

A shameless ad from Gigi: Order my book on Amazon (free shipping with Prime) OR go to www.gigilanger.com, click on Seattle Book Company, and use “20lessnow” code to lower the price (to reimburse you for shipping). If interested, also check out my blog and/or my FaceBook (FB) posts. Finally, if you will (or have) read the book, I’d appreciate your reviews on Goodreads, FB Gigi Langer Author, and Amazon. Thank you!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 32 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Her new book is available from Amazon, and in various formats here .

September 27, 2018September 27, 2018

Happiness: Inside or Outside?

“Many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we’re happy. When the boss compliments our work, we’re happy. On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we’re worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. It’s really only a simple change in perspective. It’s looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There’s no mystery to it. We can do it. “ from A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Karen Casey is one of my favorite writers. When I got sober, her daily meditation book, Each Day a New Beginning (published by Hazelden), saved my life by putting healthy, hopeful thoughts into my mind. And, did I ever need it!

I had grown up totally unaware of the pure goodness that I had inside me. It was covered up by sadness, feeling less than others, guilt for my crazy home-life, and shame.

Since I was unaware of my true worth, I tried to imitate others who seemed happy. I copied their “outsides,” hoping I could fix my “insides.”

I pretended to be to be smart, well-mannered, friendly, and happy–I was willing to do anything for love and acceptance. For a while, getting high grades and being a “good girl” did the trick. Then I moved on to obsessing about boyfriends and early sexual adventures–those few minutes of bliss certainly softened my awful feelings.

I was constantly seeking something outside of me to fill up the empty hole of insecurity gnawing inside me. But none of it really worked; it left me frustrated, alone, and enraged (even tho’ it took years to admit it). Finally, I discovered booze and marijuana as my “go to” method of erasing the pain of life. What a wonderful numbness it gave me.

But, eventually, even that didn’t work. My failed relationships and divorces piled up at the same rate as the degrees I earned. I became so frustrated, I finally sought help. And that’s when I realized how broken I was.

When I walked through the doors of my first 12-step meeting, the people there saw and responded to the goodness inside me. They believed I was already worthy of love. Although I couldn’t really believe it, I clung desperately to it. I followed their suggestions, found a sponsor who loved and guided me, and awoke to the divine spark of love within and surrounding me.

Happiness comes from connecting with the divine spark within each of us.

I have no need to imitate other peoples’ outsides because I’m so full of love and peace inside. And, when a newcomer walks through the door, I can see their true worth–just waiting to be uncovered and discovered by them.

PS For more about low self-esteem, creating an invented self, the impostor syndrome, and finding self-worth, click here.

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites. Langer holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she has published several books for teachers and school administrators.

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Tag: recovery

WHEN LIFE ISN’T WORKING (Video)

HOW EASY IS IT FOR YOU TO RECEIVE CARE FROM OTHERS?

MAKE A 2018 GRATITUDE LIST!

Happiness: Inside or Outside?

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