Positive thinking Archives - Page 4 of 8

October 29, 2019October 29, 2019

FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS!

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS THAT JUST CARRY YOU AWAY AND COLOR YOUR WHOLE WORLD GRAY? Don’t worry! Such feelings are often created by fearful thoughts that aren’t even true.

For example, we live in the wreckage of our future (“Its going to be awful!”) or we create “unenforceable rules” (“This should (or should not happen”). Often, we try to change the past by thinking how it “could have” been better.

Such thoughts are driven by the fear-driven belief that, if we just think long and hard enough, we can protect ourselves (and our loved ones) from pain and harm.

SO, HERE’S THE TRUTH: We don’t have the means to make people and things exactly as we want them. We just aren’t that powerful.

AND, HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: We can find peace of mind and contentment in the midst of our fearful feelings and thoughts. Why? BECAUSE WE CAN CHOOSE WHAT FILLS OUR MIND.

HOW? Meditation, walks outside, stretching, yoga, prayer, reading or watching inspiring books/movies, spiritual practices, energy work, and thought-correction can all soothe our most difficult feelings. Good healthy friends or counselors really help too.

When we get still and listen to our inner wisdom (or that of another), we receive the comfort of ACCEPTANCE (non-attachment to specific outcomes). Further, we find ways to address those problems that still bother us—IF they are still bothering us (quite often, they’ve shrunken down to nothing!).

NEXT TIME YOUR FEELINGS are having a hissy fit, stand apart from them for a moment to recognize they’re mostly a result of inaccurate and disturbing thoughts. Then, ask yourself, “What healthy actions can I take to soothe my mind and body?” And then, do that!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITE WAYS OF SOOTHING UPSET FEELINGS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. THANKS!!

Gigi Langer, PhD. Many years ago, I used alcohol, romance, and professional accomplishments to soothe my frayed nerves. When I quit drinking, I was left with only my fears and worries. Over time, I discovered effective tools from therapy, recovery programs, scientific research, and a variety of philosophical and spiritual teachings.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how I and others have defeated the faulty thinking leading to dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, addiction, and worry about loved ones. It contains practical strategies with directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (48 reviews) (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.”

July 28, 2019July 28, 2019

HOW TO REJECT “Worry, Worry, Worry . . .”

This darling commercial features a dog who buried his bone, and then worried so much about its safety, he couldn’t leave it alone. The soundtrack is “Worry, worry, worry” from the Ray LaMontagne song, “Trouble”. Here’s the link.

DO YOU SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE THIS POOR, WORRIED LITTLE DOG?

More than 20 percent of us struggle with anxiety. On average, we spend about 300 minutes a day worrying, a condition linked with cardiac, emotional, and other health problems.

Worries tell us, “Watch out!” Sometimes, they rightly signal danger. But, what about those unfounded fears that sap our energy and lead to failure, discouragement, and limitation?

THE PROBLEM: OUR THINKING

I call such worries “whispered lies” because they’re mostly false, telling us the pain of our past will repeat itself. For example, “I can’t do this. I’ll fail!” “I don’t deserve love,” or “I can’t be happy if (fill in the blank) happens.”

So, our thinking is the problem, right? But, wait a minute! Our thinking helps us reach important goals: jobs, degrees, repairs, trips, and so on. We set a goal and, if we just try hard enough, we get everything we want, right?

Unfortunately, this linear approach doesn’t always work: Our hearts are broken, we don’t receive a hoped-for promotion, or a loved one is seriously ill. We’re shocked to realize how little control we have over our own lives–and the lives of our loved ones. But we keep trying, right?

We become like that little white dog: We imagine we can fix our troubles by worrying about them. Or, we try to deny them through partying, working long hours, sexual preoccupation, or drugs and/or alcohol.

But these desperate strategies don’t work. The worrying and negativity just multiply, and we become more miserable than before.

WHATS THE SOLUTION?

We can change our faulty thinking by using four life strategies: 1) get honest, 2) claim positive power, 3) make healthy choices, and 4) consistently use growth tools.

If we get honest with ourselves and take responsibility for our own worries, we begin to see that only something bigger than our fears can overcome them–a source of positive power. We might call it Buddha, Courage, the Divine Spark, God, Great Spirit, Awareness, True Self, Universal Intelligence, or any name that works for us.

Next, we choose a new life (perhaps through affirmations and vision boards) and use growth tools to dissolve our whispered lies (e.g. meditation, prayer, energy work, cognitive reprogramming).

THE RESULT

We become expressions of peace (serenity to accept and wait), clarity (wisdom to know what to do and when) and connection (thriving, loving relationships)–no matter what happens in our lives.

To learn how these four life strategies can ease your own troubles, read my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection (Amazon 4.7 stars) available here. (Audiobook due in September)

Gigi Langer holds a PhD from Stanford University and is the former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, a popular speaker, and a person in recovery who hasn’t had a drink or drug for over 33 years.

May 10, 2019May 12, 2019

A Mystery Quote: “Songs of Plenty and Songs of Want”

a course in miracles

Several years ago, my friend, Mo, dictated into her 1990s tape recorder several selections from A Course in Miracles (ACIM). I’ve spent many hours listening to the 90-minute tape; I even converted it to a CD when cassettes died. Now it lives in my phone’s music app. I love every wise word Mo recorded, and I often thank “Angel Mo” for this dear gift.

At the very end of Mo’s recording is a section called, “The Human Experience.” I’ve always thought it was taken from ACIM, because everything else on the tape was from there. But this beautiful section is NOT in the Course, and I can’t find its source anywhere. CAN YOU? If You’re The First One to Find It, You’ll Get A Free Copy of “Worry Less Now.” Here is part of the section I love so much.

The Human Experience

“So dear are you to me. I see you struggle and let go, struggle and let go again. And that is the dance of life. Seek not to end the dance.

The earthly dance moves from ballroom to ballroom,
from dance floor to dance floor. The cosmic dance moves from era to era. But the dance must continue until all the music has been heard.

You are now hearing different stanzas to the same song. The song is salvation. The verses speak of learning all there is to learn.

All there is to learn includes songs of plenty and songs of want. You learn the dance of prosperity and the dance of scarcity, until you realize that all the dances are the same.

You move to the rhythm, sway to the beat. You pause to start again. You feel the heartbeat of the music until your heart and the beat of the music are one. Then that dance is over.

Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are a child of a loving God who punishes you not.”

Isn’t that beautiful? Although it’s very similar the the Course‘s style, it’s not from there. I hope you can find out where it was published.

What IS a Course in Miracles, Anyway?

You may already know about the Course, perhaps from Marianne Williamson’s best seller, A Return to Love–a wonderful introduction. The three books form a “curriculum” that people study on their own or in a group, thus the reference to a “course.” It’s main purpose (the “miracle”) is to help us align our thoughts and actions with love rather than with fear.
Here is my summary of some of the key ideas presented in ACIM (from Chapter 3 in 50 Ways to Worry Less Now)

• We are spiritual beings living inside a physical body. The confusion of the human experience comes from thinking our body represents the full extent of our being. The true essence of a person, however, is not the body. It is the spirit, also known as the soul, positive power, love, true self, and so on. Most of us seek to connect with a loving source of safety, comfort, and wisdom.

• Fear separates us. When we believe we are merely a physical body, we think there isn’t enough love, attention, or material security to go around. We live in fear as we constantly compete against others to fulfill our human needs. In this survival state, we separate ourselves from one another. The Course and many other teachings refer to this self-centered fear as “the ego,” and consider it the main source of unhappiness. (Note that Freud defined the ego differently—as the decision-making part of the personality.)

• Love connects us. When love (positive power) is our driving force, we trust there is enough of everything we need to be happy and secure. We connect with others in loving care and compassion. We are no longer driven by our fears and we find joy.

To simplify: Fear, judgment, and separation create negativity and worries. Loving connections cure them.

What do you think? Do you agree? What’s your experience with ideas such as these? I’d love to hear from you!

Worry Less Now Cover Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.

March 29, 2019March 28, 2019

ABUNDANCE HAS INCLUDED ME!

worry less now

Today, as I listened to Day 3 of Deepak & Oprah’s free (I love free!) meditation series on gratitude, Deepak made a statement that stopped me in my tracks:

“The good things in your life show that abundance has included you.”

Shut out of Abundance

I realized that, although I DO believe Deepak’s words now, it was not always so. For years, I felt everyone else had everything they wanted, but somehow I had been excluded.

– I couldn’t feel safe in my home, but of course everybody else did, right?

– I couldn’t make a romance last forever, but everybody else could, right? I mean, look at the fairy tales!!

– I couldn’t stop my own drugging, drinking and sleeping around — those were things nobody else did, right?

So apparently, I was basically a bad person doing bad stuff who didn’t deserve good things. Although I thought I had been denied abundance, I couldn’t have been more wrong!

Abundance to the Max!

After embarking on a vigorous program of spiritual practice, recovery, and therapy, I can honestly say that for several years now, I’ve been living the life of my dreams.

I’m happily married–30 years this May; just published an award-winning book; spend the winters away from the cold; and even though advancing in my years, I still enjoy golf and time with my husband, family, and a multitude of dear friends.

I’m so grateful to be able to report that I HAVE been included in abundance, just like Deepak said!

You too deserve abundance. See GigiLanger.com to learn about the tools that transformed my life. They might work for you too!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Read her blog here or order her award-winning book from Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and all e-book vendors.

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Tag: Positive thinking