Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

LET GOD TAKE OVER OUR WORRIES!

stop our worries

“Over control is spiritually deadening. When we let God do the worrying, we find many possibilities open up,” (Touchstones by Hazelden)

Our Worries Deaden Our Spirit

“Spiritually deadening” is a great description of our worries, fears and overthinking. Lost in thoughts of the future and past, we’re numb to the beauty and love available in this very moment—the only one we actually have.

I must confess that I’ve been worrying for the past few weeks. I just couldn’t get myself to write the next blog or newsletter. So, I took a break from writing and promotion to restore my energy and enthusiasm.

Acceptance is the key to flowing with my varying levels of motivation. Instead of judging myself harshly, I consider what “good” reasons I have to be somewhat depleted. Certainly, autumn was pretty intense with getting the audio book launched and various presentations. Recognizing this gives me self-compassion and allows me to take a break.

What’s Really Bothering Me

But, I must admit, what’s really been kicking my serenity in the ass is this: my worries about my various aches and pains. Although they’re minor, they certainly do amp up my negativity and fear.

Physical pain takes me back to my past suffering with two frozen shoulders, surgery, back pain, etc. As I project into the future, I imagine it will be even worse than those experiences. Those fears cause me to try to control my pain by worrying about the problem rather than the (spiritual) solution (see blog)–thus the “spiritual deadening” I’ve been feeling.

It’s all too easy to fall into the illusion that, if I analyze the sources of pain, use ice, exercise properly, and avoid the “wrong activities,” I’ll be able to control it. But such preoccupations only keep me stuck in thoughts of suffering, And we all know this singular truth: What occupies our minds manifests in our lives. So, I knew things had to change.

Physical pain has often served my spiritual growth by getting me humble and on my knees. Eventually, I notice my mental misery and enlist a power greater than my fears to overcome them.

Solutions for Our Worries: Waking up Spirit

I can hasten my willingness to claim spiritual power by increasing my self-care: meetings, helping others, praying, meditating, journaling, reading, and talking to a spiritual advisor. It’s similar to filling up our mental “sanity bank” with wisdom and faith that dissolves our worries.

Of course breathing in spiritual strength and breathing out negativity is a great place to start. A quick “Help me to see this differently” or “All is well” can settle down our worries. The Serenity Prayer connects us to acceptance, courage and power when we’re imprisoned by doubt.

So, I’ve been following my own advice and using the tools presented in “Worry Less Now.” Who knew that I’d need to use them so often and so consistently throughout my life!?

It’s just proof that, as humans, we’re often tempted by our worries and fears. Fortunately, with experience, we learn how to return to sanity, trust, and peace of mind.

When we we awaken from the dreams we’ve been lost in, we can fully inhabit our life, savoring its present sensations. The feel of our breath filling our body. The smell of a gardenia. The beauty of a palm tree ruffled by the breeze. The taste of cilantro.

A Celebration!!

I’m so grateful to share the tools that have helped me discover my true, wise, god-self, even in the midst of life’s challenges. And, I’m grateful for something else, too!!

On Jan 11, I celebrated 34 years without a drink or drug. Many of you reading this have played a large role in my recovery. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

To celebrate, I’m still giving away free tokens for my audiobook of “Worry Less Now.” Just use the Contact Form here to claim it.

New Podcast!

If you haven’t listened to any of my interviews on podcasts, I think this is one of the best. Omar Pinto (SHAIR podcast) is a gifted interviewer and a wonderful guy. Listen to it here: PODCAST “Worry Less in Sobriety. “

Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer, a person in recovery, holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology from Stanford University. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, Gigi has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She lives in Michigan with her husband and Murphy, her cat.

worry less now

Get Gigi’s new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking. available in audio, e-book, and paperback. 5 STARS! (Amazon) Click HERE

“Valuable, heartfelt manual.” — Publishers Weekly (BookLife)

“This book is a winner.” -Karen Casey, Hazelden author

THE BEST GIFT OF ALL: COURAGE!

worry less now courage   I don’t know about you, but when I face a big challenge, I need time to muster the courage to begin. Since I’ve taken on so many things that initially scared the crap out of me, I’ve learned to accept my initial doubts as part of the process, and then work my way through them until my courage returns.

You may remember I wrote that I would begin recording my audio book of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now on December 5. Well, technically, I DID begin, but that involved 2 weeks of  dealing with my fears!

During that time, my negativity whispered to me, “It’s too much work! It’s too technical! You won’t be able to do it! It’s going to cost a fortune anyway!” I’m so familiar with such fears, I went into my “gain courage” mode with the following actions.

  • Attended spiritually-based meetings (e.g., A Course in Miracles and 12-Step groups).
  • Stepped up my prayer and meditation practice.
  • Posted an affirmation on my bathroom mirror: “I create a wonderful audio book in a wonderful way; I offer wonderful service for wonderful pay.”
  • Met with my spiritual advisor to share my concerns and gain a new perspective.
  • Asked my support team (that includes you!) to visualize me holding a completed and successful audio book.
  • Listened to expert advice about how to create an audio book, and kept telling myself, “You can do this.”
  • Set up my new microphone in a prominent place so I could “make friends” with it.
  • Forgave myself for my impatience and irritability while I waited for sufficient courage to begin the project.
  • Enjoyed golf, spending time with my husband and friends, and going to the pool.

A week ago, when I texted my niece to wish her a happy 17th birthday, I included a few things about our holiday plans and my desire to make an audio book. She replied, “I’m really excited you’re recording an audio book. You should film the process on your phone so we can see. I have always wanted to see what it is like to do that!”

Boom! The turning point had arrived! My niece’s words ignited my enthusiasm and I immediately made a 5-minute video sharing how I connected my microphone and loaded the recording software. It was so much fun! In the next few days, I recorded two more episodes showing all the materials I was studying and how I made my first recording. Now I’m pausing during the holidays while I prepare the manuscript for reading and practice my narrating skills.

In the meantime, here are my videos!   Disclaimer from a former perfectionist:  I’ll get (a little) better at videos, but my main focus is getting the audio book done; so videos aren’t polished.

Thank you for sharing the journey with me. It’s a lot more fun with buddies who follow along, and I’ve already gotten some good suggestions for making audio books. If you have any tips, please send them along.

Finally, I’m wishing to all who celebrate Christmas:  Have a wonderful holiday. And my hope for all of us: A happy and joyous New Year!

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 32 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Her new book is available from Amazon, and in various formats here .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Let Fear Sabotage Your Dream

worry less nowDo you have a dream or goal,  but you just can’t get yourself to pursue it? Every time you think about working on it, you find tons of reasons to put it off, or tell yourself you just can’t do it.

In short, you sabotage your dream in spite of your passion for it. It’s a horrible feeling: you’re inspired to do something but too afraid to actually do it.

I’ve been there.  In 2011, I suddenly had a desire to write a book to help people overcome negative thinking. As I wove together my personal stories, techniques, and exercises, I hit more than a few blocks. Fortunately, I was able to complete a first draft with support from other authors and an energy therapist.

After an editor and some other readers suggested major changes to my first draft, fear almost sabotaged my dream by whispering, What if the changes ruin it? How could I possibly do that much rewriting?  Would it ever be “good enough?” What will happen when I share so many personal details about me and my family?

Recently, I ran across a journal entry from that time in 2015. My writing had come to a halt and I was seeking a way forward.

Providence Moves

W.H. Murray wrote, “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”

Providence moved when I found four questions that freed me up to pursue my dream (the questions may be from The War of Art by Steven Pressfield). Here are the answers I wrote to those questions.

What painful ideas are keeping me from finishing my book?

– I’ll miss out on lots of fun

– I hate the idea of marketing after I finish

– It might not be good enough

– I dread the publishing process

What pleasure can be gained from finishing it?

– Doing what I’m probably here for: teaching kindness and love

– Finding out that the ideas I’ve presented have helped others

– Holding it in my hands, beautiful and complete!

– Knowing that I accomplished this monumental task

What will it cost me if I do not do this?

– I’ll feel embarassed because a lot of people know about it

– I would let down the part of me that’s inspiring me to do this

– Ego would have a victory

– I would feel self-hatred and shame

– I would continue to be jealous of other successful authors

Why is completing my book so important?

– I want others to be able to use the many concepts, tools, and actions I’ve learned so they can be free of worry/fear, and be more loving, happy, and content

– It shares who I am with readers so they can see my difficult times and be inspired to grow past theirs

– It is a useful resource-book–a compendium of many helpful tools

– I want to show myself that I can do this really challenging thing

Worry Less Now by Gigi LangerThe answers to these questions proved to be very powerful motivators. Within a year, I had completed chapters 5-7, and by 2017 I had an advance copy ready for reviewers. Then in February 2018, I released the completed book,

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the great reviews and the national award “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” won. It just goes to show that fear can NOT sabotage our dreams when we have enough tools to break through it!

For specific tools to overcome negativity and worry, check out my book “50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.” 

worry less nowGigi Langer is the former “Queen of Worry” who  holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, and lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

Why “Figuring It Out” Drains Our Energy

Whenever I’ve had a really busy, full day, I find myself without enthusiasm for “getting things done” the next day. Case in point:  last weekend I entertained on Friday, and then rested all day Saturday (I read a novel–lovely!). And even after resting, I have to say, getting back to work was a bit of a struggle. I was baffled.

Trying to Figure It Out
Often my first defense against something I don’t like is to try to figure it out. In this case, I kept wondering why I was feeling this way. Okay, it’s true, I am getting older. And marketing a book with FB conversations, weekly blog posts, monthly newsletters, ads, podcast interviews, and workshops makes for a pretty busy life. My husband’s ongoing back pain also weighs on my mind. And, I’m on a new medication. So, there’s that (-:

“Why?” Is Not A Spiritual Question
Recently I heard someone say that “Why?” is not a spiritual question. That caught my attention: perhaps my “figuring it out” is just “playing God”–trying to control things I have no control over. In a word, it’s worrying–something I know a LOT about!

So, when I notice my disturbed state of mind, I pick myself up like a hurting little child and give myself some loving care. This usually involves more meetings with loving friends, meditation, fun times with my husband, prayer, exercise, and rest—yes, rest (in spite of the committee in my head telling me I have so much to get done). As I use these tools and wait, often I get just the direction I need.

Meditation to The Rescue!
This summer, I ran into a FB video about overcoming worry by Kelly Hine. I was curious to hear what she said ; I had just written a book about it, after all. So, I did what I rarely do: put in my headphones and clicked on her video.

Kelly is beautiful inside and out; you can just feel it in her presence and words. As an Aussie, her accent is lovely; but it’s her talks and meditations on “heart-centered awareness” that have helped me through this challenging summer.

I felt so drawn to Kelly’s energy that I immediately subscribed to her Soul Space group (www.bodyandsoulretreats.com/gl2202) for a mere $20 a month. Some of you know how tight I am with money, so I must have had a really strong nudge from my gut—yes, my heart-center–to do this. One of the best decisions I’ve made!

I get free access to all of Kelly’s prior videos, talks, and meditations along with her weekly videos and monthly Sunday live mini-retreats. Also, I can pitch her a question at any time, and she’ll post a short little video about it. Amazing! Although I’m tempted, I’m not quite ready to pop for one of her Bali retreats– yes, you read that right: on the South Pacific island of Bali!!

Connecting with Energy 
Today I selected Kelly’s meditation about connecting with an unlimited source of energy. After each 20-30 minute session, Kelly asks us to write in our journal, as at that point we’re very receptive to messages from our heart-center. I wrote, “I have sufficient energy to accomplish all that God leads me to do.”

Well, that sure takes the pressure off! No more trying to figure out how to get more energy so I can accomplish all those oh-so-important things on my “to-do list” (and, yes, it’s pretty darn long!).

Suddenly, I could feel myself let go and trust the universe again. I knew that all is well, regardless of how things look on the outside. That everything is in perfect order. That I have access to unerring direction in my mind and actions. And, for the rest of the week that’s been true. Ahhh . . .Relief!

Your Ideas, Please: What are your favorite ways to connect with your own source of power and energy? I’d love to hear them. Please share your ideas in the Comments. Thanks!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she has published several books for teachers and school administrators.