Today, as I listened to Day 3 of Deepak & Oprah’s free (I love free!) meditation series on gratitude, Deepak made a statement that stopped me in my tracks:
“The good things in your life show that abundance has included you.”
Shut out of Abundance
I realized that, although I DO believe Deepak’s words now, it was not always so. For years, I felt everyone else had everything they wanted, but somehow I had been excluded.
– I couldn’t feel safe in my home, but of course everybody else did, right?
– I couldn’t make a romance last forever, but everybody else could, right? I mean, look at the fairy tales!!
– I couldn’t stop my own drugging, drinking and sleeping around — those were things nobody else did, right?
So apparently, I was basically a bad person doing bad stuff who didn’t deserve good things. Although I thought I had been denied abundance, I couldn’t have been more wrong!
Abundance to the Max!
After embarking on a vigorous program of spiritual practice, recovery, and therapy, I can honestly say that for several years now, I’ve been living the life of my dreams.
I’m happily married–30 years this May; just published an award-winning book; spend the winters away from the cold; and even though advancing in my years, I still enjoy golf and time with my husband, family, and a multitude of dear friends.
I’m so grateful to be able to report that I HAVE been included in abundance, just like Deepak said!
You too deserve abundance. See GigiLanger.com to learn about the tools that transformed my life. They might work for you too!
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Read her blog here or order her award-winning book from Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and all e-book vendors.
Even though I know the impressive research on the benefits of meditation (it actually shrinks the part of the brain involved with stress!), it’s SO hard to do first thing in the morning.
Right out of bed, I so enjoy my cup of coffee with Peter, chatting, and watching our cat, Murphy’s, antics. And then, about half the time, I’m off and running–and there goes the meditation right out the door!
I need “training wheels” when trying to establish new routines, so I love it when Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfreyoffer their 21-day meditation series. It’s free and every 4-6 months it’s a different theme, so I learn new stuff.
For example, the one I just listened to was about the role of attention in attracting our desires into our lives. Deepak was his usual clear self as he explained, “What we pay attention to will grow!”
The power source for manifesting our dreams, desires, and intentions is attention.
When attention is focused from the level of true self, our desires easily reach fulfillment.
Desires that arise from a worried, confused, or agitated mind struggle to be fulfilled.
When we meditate, the intentions arise naturally from the silence, and the energy of attraction automatically obeys what the mind desires.
So, there’s another reason to meditate!! Tapping into my quiet, wise self always yields insights, valuable nudges for action, and great ideas for writing. In fact, I found I couldn’t write my book “Worry Less Now”without it.
If you too need some “training wheels” to learn to meditate, download the app, Insight Timer,or check out some of Kelly Hine’sfabulous guided meditations.
Finally, here’s a little something to make you laugh.
HOW NOT TO MEDITATE (Susan Morales)
Wear your tightest jeans; not the stretchy kind; the ones that pinch at the waist so your midriff folds over and it’s hard to breathe.
Recall a recent conversation where you felt misunderstood, and analyze what you should have said. Visualize what you’ll do next chance you get.
Find something on your body or clothing to help you fidget, like cleaning your fingernails, picking the pile off your sweater, or winding hair around your finger.
Don’t set an intention or an alarm, look at the clock every time you think of it.
Focus outside yourself, inhale short and shallow.
Tell yourself you can’t meditate.
PS: I better stop writing this and go do my daily meditation–I didn’t get to it this morning!
Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.
Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.
The 4/24/18 post explained that positive thinking is only the first in three steps to manifesting your best future. In Step 1, you declared your intention, stated it often, and continually visualized its completion. Beware tho’ of getting so attached to a desire that you’re consumed by it. That’s where Step 2 comes in: LET GO & LETGOD ** (Non-Attachment to the Outcome)
After being asked how he remained so calm in the middle of life’s storms, an enlightened master replied “I don’t mind what happens.” This is non-attachment. It boils down to a humble admission that your thoughts and actions, especially when they’re based on worry, don’t always lead to the best results. It’s trusting that **a power wiser than your own intellect might have a better outcome. You can then approach life without fighting it, judging it, or needing to control it. In other words, you let go and let God take care of it.
So, if this is non-attachment, what then is attachment? Attachment is the mother of all worries. When you’re attached, your negative thinking insists it knows exactly how things should turn out. Further, you’ve made your own happiness dependent upon reaching a specific result.
In contrast, non-attachment offers you peaceful acceptance and creative freedom. Recall the guidelinesuggesting your affirmation include “in the best way for all concerned.” These words signify you trust your positive power to fashion a good result, even if it looks different from your initial goal.
How do you know if you’re overly attached to something? Just ask yourself, “How often do the words should, must, or ought go through my mind?” Attachment sounds like this:
My daughter should stop using drugs.
This person, (fill in the blank), must be nicer to me.
The mayor (or president, legislator, etc.) is wrong and ought to (fill in the blank).
I should be healthy and happy and never experience troubling situations.
These are examples of what Fred Luskin, the director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, calls unenforceable rules. Such rules demand an outcome you believe must come true, but over which you have no control. Luskin writes in Forgive for Good that these inflexible beliefs make you feel helpless, angry, hurt, hopeless or bitter.
Although holding an unenforceable rule may feel good—even noble—it doesn’t mean you can make it happen. In the first example, the daughter should stop using drugs, but no matter how persuasive the mother’s arguments, she doesn’t have the power to make her daughter stop. The mother does, however, have control over her own choices and behavior. She can seek help from a therapist or Al-Anon, and claim a positive power to work in the situation. Then, she might choose a goal for how she wants to act and feel, detach from the result, and use growth tools for her own peace of mind, regardless of her daughter’s choices.
One of my own unenforceable rules became clear as I was writing this book. When my mother passed away, I found it difficult to write and became discouraged by my lack of progress. When I honestly faced my belief that I must complete the book by a certain date, I became willing to see it differently. After meditating, I let go of my false belief and affirmed, “I will finish writing the book at the perfect time.” Then I turned the results over to my higher power. Even though the publication date was much later than I had planned, it was in perfect order. I used the extra time to do marketing and promotion so when it did come out, it was a big success.
The essence of non-attachment is peacefully allowing life to unfold. Nothing becomes a live-or-die situation because you know your loving power is working things out, with results that may far surpass your greatest hopes. Letting go in this way works!
Let Go & Let God Exercise. Detach from Specific Outcomes
After setting a goal, your subsequent thoughts and actions will indicate if you’re overly attached to it or not. The following exercise will help you find out.
Think about a troubling situation (perhaps the one you wrote your affirmation about in April 24 blog). List the frequent thoughts you’ve had about it and the actions you’ve taken to make it better.
Next to each thought or action, write A for attachment or N for non-attachment.
Write A if your thought or action was driven by:
Worry about the results;
Thinking about the hurtful details;
A need to fix your situation right away; or
Insistence on one right solution.
Write N if your thought or action helped you:
Focus on your own responsibilities, thoughts, and feelings;
Affirm a positive power working toward the best for all concerned;
Practice patience and compassion with yourself and others; or
Listen with care and express your feelings and needs kindly.
Make note of the unenforceable rules or whispered lies blocking your progress. Let go of them and let God (positive power) take charge.
Accept that it may take time for your situation to work out. Trust that the use of growth tools—along with your honesty, positive power, and good choices—will improve your circumstances.
Now that you’ve released your attachment to a desired outcome, you’re ready for Step 3: Get to Work with Growth Tools. Ironically, you won’t begin with direct actions to reach your goal. Instead, you’ll use various tools to enlist the power to achieve it. The 50 tools I use most often can be found in my book and in other blog posts. Best of luck!
“Langer’s frank and empathetic tone will comfort readers, as will the practical steps she teaches.” (Featured Book, BookLife by Publishers Weekly) “Her honesty will blow you away! It is beautifully written; filled with humor and authenticity.” (Member of Al Anon)
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Read her blog here or order her award-winning book from Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and all e-book vendors. 
Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 
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