love Archives - Page 2 of 5

November 17, 2021November 17, 2021

THE DIVINE SPARK!

Happiness comes from the divine spark within each of us.

“Many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we’re happy . . . On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we’re worthy and believing we are worthy . . . [require] only a simple change in perspective. It’s looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There’s no mystery to it. “ f rom A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Karen Casey is one of my favorite writers. When I got sober, her daily meditation book, Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden), saved my life by putting healthy, hopeful thoughts into my mind. And, did I ever need them!

I had grown up totally unaware of the pure goodness that I had inside me. It was covered up by sadness, feeling less than others, a sense of insecurity, guilt from my crazy home-life, and shame over my sexual behavior.

Looking in All the Wrong Places

I was constantly seeking something outside of myself to fill up the hole of insecurity gnawing inside me. Unaware of my true worth, I tried to imitate others who seemed happy. I copied their “outsides,” hoping I could fix my “insides.” I pretended to be to be smart, well-mannered, friendly, and happy–I was willing to do anything for love and acceptance.

But none of it really worked; it left me frustrated, alone, and enraged (even though it took years to admit it). When I discovered that booze and marijuana could erase the pain of life, I was quite relieved–but only temporarily.

Eventually, even that didn’t work. My failed relationships and divorces piled up at the same rate as my degrees. When I realized how broken I was, I finally sought help.

The Solutions

As I walked through the doors of my first 12-step meeting, I could feel people responding to me as if I was already worthy of love. Although I couldn’t really believe it, I clung desperately to that possibility.

Over time, I followed their suggestions, found a sponsor who loved and guided me, and awoke to the divine spark of love within (and surrounding me). It’s now been over 35 years since I walked into that first meeting, and it has given me everything I have ever wanted.

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

March 5, 2021March 5, 2021

GIVE ONLY LOVE BY ‘FORE-GIVING

Have you ever considered that the word “forgive” can be seen as ’fore-give?

I think of it as “before-giving”—giving to another before they’ve done anything to “deserve” it. Perhaps that’s the only reason we’re here — to give love and kindness to everyone we meet.

“Fore-giving is merely looking beyond a person’s flaws and seeing only their spirit. Thus, we give love to others, regardless of how they look or act. This, I believe, is what God would have us do.

Really?? What if They’re a Jerk?!

There IS one caveat, however: Although we may focus on a person’s essential goodness, we don’t have to put up with their unacceptable behavior. Even after setting boundaries, we can still see their spirit as pure and innocent.

When we choose to ‘fore-give, we expand the force of love in the world, thus dissolving fear and selfishness. We all become free, peaceful, and happy.

Give it a Try!

Just for today (and tomorrow, too!) let’s try to see the goodness in every person we encounter, and treat them with the love and respect befitting a child of God. When you ‘fore-give it make us all feel better!

P.S. A Course in Miracles teaches that the world’s pain is caused by our selfish egos’ excesses, and that the truth lies beyond these fearful appearances—in the eternal spirit of goodness within each of us.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

December 18, 2020December 18, 2020

Claim Your Christmas Gift Now: Forgiveness!

Forgiveness is the message of Christmas.
worry less now

We become free by letting go of our limited human perceptions and asking God to help us see others with pure, forgiving love.

I hope the words I offer here will help you look beyond human error to see the true spirit of love within each and every person you encounter.

Sin (Missing the Mark) and Forgiveness (Seeing only Spirit)

This year, I’m amazed to realize how Jesus’ birth and life created a revolutionary understanding of two ideas that had long held many in fear: Sin and Forgiveness.

It turns out that forgiveness is not about pardoning an essentially “sinful person” while still holding on to their misdeeds. No! It’s about seeing the loving essence of each human being, regardless of how they’ve “done wrong” (or, as the Greek definition of sin states, “missed the mark.”)

If there’s one thing Jesus’ life demonstrated, it’s that even though the human body passes on, spiritual death is impossible, Our divine essence is not earth-bound; it’s made of the same God-stuff as Jesus’ spirit. So, let’s choose to live in the freedom of that truth.

What’s going on here on Earth is temporary and limited by our bodies; therefore, we’re not to condemn or judge other’s human frailties and misdeeds. Best that we follow Jesus’ teaching: to love one another as spiritual creations of a loving God.

How to Forgive

I’m not saying this is easy to do; but isn’t this a time of new beginnings? And isn’t it worth it to be at peace and in harmony with others?

First I have to admit that my human thinking is limited; that there is so very much I can’t understand. For example, as humans, we just don’t comprehend the “why” of suffering and pain. In other words, there is a God, and I’m not it.
Next, I ask a higher wisdom to guide me to a new interpretation of the behavior I’m labelling as “bad,” and I wait for a new perception to dawn on me. Every time my mind focuses on the person’s imperfections, I ask God to help me to see them as God would. In short, I’m asking to see only the person’s essential goodness, even if they aren’t currently operating from that place. (That’s one definition of forgiveness, according to A Course in Miracles.)
Eventually, I’m able to look beyond the behavior and behold the person’s shining, pure spirit. We’ll know we’ve reached the freedom of forgiveness when we can no longer feel the “heat” of the old emotions, and we recall the past behavior as merely an event.

Now, does this mean I love to be around a person who has hurt me? Or that I have to put up with their unacceptable behavior? No. But, by refusing to harden my heart toward them, and by plugging into God’s wisdom, I’ll be led to the right words and actions for all involved.

And, guess what? Forgiveness is a “two-for!” As I forgive another, I also free my self from judgment and fear, thus receiving what I have given away.

One my favorite spiritual teachers, Richard Rohr, recently wrote, “Scholars have said two-thirds of the teaching of Jesus is, in one form or another, about forgiveness. Forgiveness is simply the religious word for letting go.” Read more from Rohr below; awesome!

Richard Rohr on Forgiveness & Letting Go

Rohr writes, “if you do not transform your pain, you will most assuredly transmit it. Healthy religion on the practical level tells us what to do with our pain—because we will have pain. We can’t avoid it; it’s part of life.”

“If we’re not trained in letting go of it, transforming it, turning crucifixion into resurrection (so to speak), we’ll hand it off to our family, to our children, to our neighborhood, to our nation.

“Letting go helps us fall into a deeper and broader level at which we can always say, ‘It’s okay, it’s all right.’ We know what lasts. We know who we are. And we know we do not want to pass our pain on to our children or the next generation. We want to somehow pass on life.

“This means that the real life has started now. It’s Heaven all the way to Heaven; and it’s Hell all the way to Hell.”

We [can be] “in Heaven now by falling, by letting go, and by trusting and surrendering to this deeper, broader, and better reality that is already available to us.”

We [can be] “in Hell now by wrapping ourselves around our hurts, by over-identifying with and attaching ourselves to our fears, so much so that they become our very identity.

Any chosen state of victimhood is an utter dead end. Once you make that your narrative, it never stops gathering evidence about how you have been wronged by life, by others, and even by God.”

Which Do You Choose: Heaven or Hell?

We CAN choose to let go of past resentments, fears, and judgments so we can see the truth: that every person here is a loving child of God–regardless of whether they’re currently demonstrating that truth. Choose love anyway; focus on strengths rather than faults. You’ll be amazed by the freedom of letting go with forgiveness.

This is the season to make a revolutionary flip in how we think about others: Can we look past their flawed human behavior to the spirit within? Can we do the same for ourselves? Let’s hope so, because happiness depends on it!

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with 50 practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating 4.8 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

December 4, 2020December 4, 2020

Our Human Experience: A Message from Spirit

Looking for inspiration and release from worry in these challenging times? Feeling a conflict between your human instincts and your divine spirit? I offer you two beautiful passages that clarify the temporary nature of struggle, and our higher power’s healing presence through it all–even during Covid!

MY VERY FAVORITE WORDS: “Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are forever a child of a loving God who punishes you not.”

“We are merely rendering the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together.”

The Human Experience, Part 1

Many years ago, my friend Mo recorded several passages from A Course in Miracles (ACiM); the last one was called “The Human Experience,” but it did not come from ACiM. Do you know where it’s from?? I posted the first half of it here: A Mystery Quote: “Songs of Plenty and Songs of Want.” Here’s the second half, a true message of hope and trust. I love it so!

The Human Experience, Part 2

“Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are forever a child of a loving God who punishes you not.

“You’ve elected to learn these lessons so that you can be free. You can’t be free until you have faced, and then walked through, your worst fear. What your worst fear is changes from time to time.

Walking through your worst fear transforms it into an old meaningless fear. Then a new worst fear will come to take its place. Call the fear poverty, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, death, meaninglessness, or helplessness. Walk through them you will, until they are all gone.

“What you forget is that you don’t have to walk through them alone. I am here and will walk through them with you. Trust me, my child. Ask not that any specific burden be lifted. Ask instead for my presence to walk through with you. We are simply rendering the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together.

“The human experience provides all these lessons to all who walk through them. You walk through them with pain and sorrow if you choose to do it alone. Or you walk through them with peace and joy if you take me along.

The whole point of the lessons is to realize that they are dreams. You only see that when you can see from the place beyond the dreams, after you have awakened. Then you sleep again, and another dream will come to take its place, and we will walk through it. And you will awaken again to see the harmlessness of the dream.

“Ask me to guide you. Ask me not to solve what you perceive as your problems. What you perceive as problems are dreams and dreams are not real.

“Practice fearlessness, my child. Turn over all your fears to me. My way will lead you to discover the light which is already within you.

“There is nothing my love for you will not conquer. We have already traveled this path together, and we are at the end. Try to remember, my child, the song of rejoicing we heard when we arrived safely back in the arms of the Father.

“Your mind has wandered from the truth of that memory. You daydream again. The thoughts of the mind are undisciplined but the mind is at home in the heart of God. Only the thoughts drift away for a moment.

“Call to me dear soul. When you call from the part of your heart that knows we are together still, I will be there and you will be here in an instant.

“Peace and joy to you, dear one. Only joy and peace are eternal. All else is illusion. You have been to joy and peace and you do know the truth. Ask me to remember, and I will. Peace. Peace. Peace.”

Connect with God’s Love and Love One Another

Isn’t that beautiful? We need not fear because comfort and courage walk with us through every experience–even those that scare our pants off! Perhaps we’re here for this very reason: to render “the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together.” Let this be the message of this holiday season.

Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in SW Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating: 4.8 stars. Buy signed copy HERE

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Tag: love