Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

Ā Love More Now!

Are You Stuck? Four Strategies to Get Unstuck

stop fear and doubt, worry less now

For the past few weeks Iā€™ve felt stuck in fear and doubt. Ā Iā€™ve written a new bookĀ because I wanted to share the tools that helped me face and grow through life challenges such as addiction, divorce, chronic pain, perfectionism, and co-dependence.Ā Ā 

The book goes on sale in February, so it’s time to start promoting it.Ā Ā But I’m rather overwhelmed by the prospect.Ā Ā My mindā€™s (not-so-helpful) whispered lies chatter away: ā€œItā€™s too much work! Where do I start? Look how well other authors do it! Whatā€™s wrong with me?”

When such worries and negative thinking keep us stuck, how do we move forward? Today, I used four strategies to dissolve my fears and return to my happy, creative, productive self. It’s through struggles like this that I’ve discovered these tools.

1. Get Honest with Yourself. At first, my worries flew under the radar, coaxing me to eat sugary ā€œtreats,ā€ binge-watch TV, and oversleep. Fortunately, I no longer use drugs, alcohol, overwork, or sex to avoid my feelings. Those are all dead-ends that stop growth in its tracks.

So, my first step was to honestly admit to myself that my latest challenge had me rattled. Then I could practice self-compassion (http://KristinNeff.com), and clear away the shame. (After all, how many authors really do know how to market a book?).

I gain self-honesty most easily when I can share my struggles with healthy friends. Journaling helps too; when my fears are out on page, they donā€™t seem insurmountable. Quite often I pray or meditateā€”both help me feel that Iā€™m not alone and shrink my fears.

2. Claim Positive Power. Hereā€™s the step that many balk at: I admitted that my willpower wasn’t going to change anything.Ā  When I let go of my need for control and certainty, I can access a source of power greater than my fears.

My negative thinking told me I must try to figure out the magic formula that would make the book sell. Although itā€™s true that I do need to learn a lot, I donā€™t have to motivate myself with such fearful thoughts. My best inspiration and guidance come from a higher, wiser place.

You may be thinking, ā€œOh, man, here we go with that higher power stuff.ā€ Power and wisdom come from many sources and itā€™s up to you to find your own. You might use a variety of terms for this power: courage, God, universal truth, providence, true self, angelsā€”it doesnā€™t matter, as long as proves to be stronger than your fear.

Try reading and listening to words that inspire you. Then, just say to yourself, ā€œMaybe Iā€™ll try trusting a power greater than my fearful thinking.ā€ Thatā€™s all that’s necessary.

3. Choose Your Future. Even when Iā€™m stuck, I know what Iā€™d like to have happen. In this case, I wanted the marketing process to get the book into the hands and hearts of the people it will help.

When I was stuck, I didnā€™t believe this could happen, and I was resentful that it seemed so hard. My mind was so clogged with negativity and fear that little inspiration could enter it.

But I didn’t have to say there.Ā I set aside my worries and stated my goal; then I took actions to stream positive power into my body, mind, and spirit.

4. Use Growth Practices. First, I needed to reinstate my daily practices of reading inspiring writing, talking with supportive friends, meditating, and walking outdoors.Ā I had been lax for the past weeks; that’s why I found myself at the mercy of my fears and doubts.

Your own daily tools for achieving peace might differ, but they will always lower the volume of your worries and whispered lies.

Today I used tapping therapy, a few new chants, and a prayer to dissolve my negativity. As a result, I now trust that the right resources and inspired actions to successfully market my book are on their way. In fact, this article is my first creative action in a while. Whew!

When your own worries and doubts threaten your happiness and productivity, try these four strategies:

  • Honesty: ā€œHereā€™s whatā€™s going on inside me.ā€
  • Power: ā€œI claim courage and intuitive direction.ā€
  • Choices: ā€œThis is what I want and Iā€™m going for it!ā€
  • Growth Practices: ā€œIā€™m actively connecting with loving power.ā€

In my own and othersā€™ experience, these practices yield wonderful results:

  • Peace of Mind. Manage lifeā€™s challenges with calm, wisdom, hope, and gratitude.
  • Clarity. Fulfill your dreams without limitations.
  • Enjoy relationships that thrive and serve others.

worry , recovery, sanity

Gigi Langer, PhD. Ā Based on her work in psychology and personal experience inĀ therapy, recovery, and a variety of spiritual teachings, Gigi is a sought-after speaker, retreat leader, and award-winning writer and professor. Ā She has co-authored five other books for educators.

50 Ways to Worry Less NowĀ will be released inĀ early 2018.Ā  Learn more at https://gigilanger.com/new-book-worry-less-now/

Meditation: A sure cure for fear & worry

Meditation to the rescue!

Meditation overcomes worry
Possum Hill Press (my publisher)

 

Fear blocked my dream: To write Worry Less Now! Ā 

IT’S DUE IN SEPTEMBER 2017 Ā 

After I stated aloud my dream to write this book, I experienced a period of turmoil and resistance I refer to as the backlash effect. My whispered lies seemed to wake up and say, ā€œWhat? This canā€™t be! Thereā€™s no way youā€™re going do that!ā€ ā€œYou canā€™t get this honest about your life; people will think youā€™re neurotic,ā€ and ā€œYou canā€™t handle it if people criticize you.ā€ Suddenly, I found myself unable to write.

A quote from Goethe sums up the coincidences that followed soon after I hit that block: ā€œThe moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.ā€

Despite knowing about the many benefits of meditation, I had never been able to get the hang of it. I just couldnā€™t quiet my incessant thinking long enough to feel successful. ThenĀ providence moved in a surprising way.

ā€¢ While at lunch with my friend Chris, who had just completed her first book, I shared my fears about my writing. She told me how meditating had calmed her mind and given her a connection to a source of wise guidance in her work.

ā€¢Soon after, I made a new friend, Mara, who meditates for twenty minutes twice a day. I became envious of her unflappable sense of peace.

ā€¢Later that month, a woman in my book club mentioned she recently began meditating as part of her treatment for shingles, and had not had an episode since.

ā€¢After spontaneously deciding to attend a womenā€™s retreat, I found when I arrived that the topic was meditation! As the weekend progressed, I began to believe I could actually adopt this helpful practice.

ā€¢Soon after the retreat, a friend asked me to join her for Deepak Chopra and OprahĀ Winfreyā€™s twenty-one-day online meditation challenge.

At that point, I looked up to the heavens, and said, ā€œOK, OK!ā€ and began to meditate most mornings.

I find if I skip my morning meditation, I have less serenity and bravery to deal with myĀ challenges. For example, I recently began my day by reading many emails about a retreat I was leading. When I later went to my desk to piece together some new ideas for this chapter, IĀ noticed I was tense and couldnā€™t find the right words. I then stopped, asked myself, ā€œWhatā€™sĀ wrong?ā€ and remembered I had neglected to meditate.

Instead of criticizing myself, I gave myself kudos for noticing my tension. Recalling that itā€™ s never too late to start a day over, I did just that. As I entered the stillness, I could almost hear my body saying, ā€œOK, the wise one is driving the bus now. We can stop the high alert.ā€

IĀ received a wondrous result: I wrote the exact the words I had been searching for earlier. I was no longer stuck!

Gigi Langer is a former ā€œqueen of worry.ā€ Sheā€™s also an educator, speaker, and author of Worry Less Now! Coming out in Fall 2017, the new book contains 50 powerful tips to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, and be happy.