THANK YOU TO MY DEAR FRIEND, HARRIET, FOR ALLOWING ME TO PRESENT HER FABULOUS ARTICLE, “New Year Resolutions.” Read on to get a taste of Harriet’s humor, wisdom, and inspiration. The “Collector’s Edition of Miracles of Recovery” and Harriet’s other books are available HERE. https://amzn.to/3W88R3W
“Before sobriety, New Yearâs resolutions were a lot like not picking up a drink. Or drug! Â I would SWEAR each morning I could get through the day, AND I DID!
“But I couldnât get through the night. Nighttime would come (or just the thought of night coming on would be enough to send my nerves into a panic), and Iâd tell my family, âOoops, Iâve forgotten something!â and out Iâd go.
“There was never a time when I could not be without my best friend who was always there for me. Without fail.
“And so came the failure of everything else that I wanted to do.
“Each New Yearâs Eve Iâd make my faithful resolutions. You know the drill: I was going to QUIT drinking followed by quitting drinking beginning the next day. These two were always at the top of my list. But I think deep down I knew it was a joke. It was the closest to not drinking I could get.
“Fast Forward. Now, 23 years clean and sober, my intentions and statements about what is true for me have taken on a stronger, deliberate meaning.
Iâd like to share a few things with you that continue to work for me.
Give up the Ghost of Failure
I needed to Stop. Kidding. Myself: I was going to be a complete looser for the REST of my life if I didnât give up the Ghost of Failure. I never had a prayer of succeeding at anything, because, I told myself, I was too undisciplined. I hurt too many people and was no longer redeemable. This was the set-up I needed to fail yet again!!
And it worked for me for a lifetime.
The key concept here is to, âListen to The Words You Use Against Yourself.â Nothing will assure your success more than when you tell yourself a thousand times that âI Am a Winner and I CAN and WILL do this.â
Wayne Dwyer, Ph.D., said, âIf you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.â
In the story, âAcceptance Was the Answerâ on page 420 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous the author shares Dr. Dyerâs philosophy here with, âI MUST keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectationsâŚâ
When we âacceptâ a situation and move that specific situation from our head to our heart, we have become convinced we can accomplish our goal because weâve made it a part of who we are. We are positively convinced, absolutely certain now, we can do this, and we do! Does this happen with one thought, or one try? Typically, not.
We expand the possibility of our success by making our resolutions non-negotiable so we cannot fail.
This one solitary ACT of turning failure into success starts to unfold around us and with repetition, belief in ourselves and continual expanding of these thoughts, we begin to bloom find hope in our hard-fought accomplishment.
What we focus on, becomes us, because it has moved into the ranks of our critical thinking. We have become CERTAIN it is what we want to do and we DO it!! Continued action, as if at the gym, strengthens this resolve and tenacity.
And we succeed! Failure now is a thing of the past because weâve changed the way weâve look at the thing we want to conquer!
Success begins and ends with us, but we must first believe it possible, But before weâre able to do that, we have to WANT it more than anything. In much the same way we want our sobriety.
Develop Ten (10) Intentions (Resolutions) to Achieve in 2023
The first five must be achievable, attainable with a little effort on your part. And we do them!
The next five, however, are the more involved, consequential and life-changing intentions. You must be honest about how much you want to achieve them, so prioritize as you go. Determine how achievable they are but do it! In other words, if you intend to lose 25 pounds, begin your first book or find a new job writing these words down are not enough. In factâdonât commit them to paper at all unless and until youâve determined the importance and consequence of each. Because once we commit them to paper and prioritize them, we begin to allocate precious energy, emotionalism, prayers and forward motion to them whether you know it or not.
What are you willing to do differently?
This is the definition of life-altering propositions, and one of the greatest demonstrations of those who succeed. We already know that if nothing changes, wellânothing changes!
âDifferentlyâ doesnât have to be huge, because it is most often found in our thinking. To do things âdifferentlyâ is to outline a mental plan of success. It may or may not include prayer, waking up earlier, the process might be a combination of large and small changes, but changes they are. It is this hula-hoop of changes we make to do a specific situation differently that moves us from our old âfailureâ of thinking, to new behavior of a âsuccess,â because preparation, thought and the value we attach to this new intention is the difference between failing and succeeding.
What are you truly made of, and what lengths are you willing to go to, to achieve your resolutions?
This answer requires honest reflections on subjects like procrastination, whether or not you have the sustainability inside necessary to carry it out, and what the payoff will be to go through with this intention?
If we want success, then we must set ourselves UP to experience that success differently than weâve done in the past.
Oftentimes, in order for this new behavior or action to be achieved, it must be part of your daily thinking. It may involve how you âseeâ yourself, moving closer to your success just for today, taking small steps as the elephant, but making strong strides with each forward motion. It may require adding a special mantra, verse, prayer to your daily life.
Whatever it involves, if you make it exciting, thorough and a part of your daily thinking, you cannot fail. Because youâve already âexpandedâ the energy associated with your resolution so much it is now a part of who you are!
Lastly, whatever your Big Five might beâbe sure to seek out your passion associated with each of these and have faith that they wouldnât be on your list without this passion. USE that passion, that excitement and positivity to work with you as you begin tackling one at a time as prioritized. Of course, youâll rearrange them as the year moves forward, but we can only DO one at a time! ~Â Anything more and we lose focus and forward momentum and become overwhelmed.
Blessings to each of this New Year with the allotment of another 365 days to become increasingly creative with our time, with ourselves, and learn by reaching and collaborating with others how theyâve done it.
If youâd like to see all of the books from Harriet, visit https://amzn.to/3W88R3W. Her new Collectorâs Edition of Miracles of Recovery is at the bottom of the page.
Gigi’s a newest book describes how to dissolve the blockages that close our hearts to loving ourselves and others. Learn to open access to the Loving Energy of your True Self. Find the wisdom and courage to face and resolve relationship difficulties, perfectionism, illness, and worry about loved ones (among others). Â Due on Amazon, mid-February, 2023.
Gigi Langer has been sober over 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the âQueen of Worry,â Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.
Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE $8.95 free US shipping.)