Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

FROM HARRIET HUNTER: “NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS”

THANK YOU TO MY DEAR FRIEND, HARRIET, FOR ALLOWING ME TO PRESENT HER FABULOUS ARTICLE, “New Year Resolutions.” Read on to get a taste of Harriet’s humor, wisdom, and inspiration. The “Collector’s Edition of Miracles of Recovery” and Harriet’s other books are available HERE. https://amzn.to/3W88R3W

“Before sobriety, New Year’s resolutions were a lot like not picking up a drink. Or drug!  I would SWEAR each morning I could get through the day, AND I DID!

But I couldn’t get through the night. Nighttime would come (or just the thought of night coming on would be enough to send my nerves into a panic), and I’d tell my family, “Ooops, I’ve forgotten something!” and out I’d go.

“There was never a time when I could not be without my best friend who was always there for me. Without fail.

“And so came the failure of everything else that I wanted to do.

“Each New Year’s Eve I’d make my faithful resolutions. You know the drill: I was going to QUIT drinking followed by quitting drinking beginning the next day. These two were always at the top of my list.  But I think deep down I knew it was a joke. It was the closest to not drinking I could get.

“Fast Forward. Now, 23 years clean and sober, my intentions and statements about what is true for me have taken on a stronger, deliberate meaning.

I’d like to share a few things with you that continue to work for me.

Give up the Ghost of Failure

I needed to Stop. Kidding. Myself: I was going to be a complete looser for the REST of my life if I didn’t give up the Ghost of Failure. I never had a prayer of succeeding at anything, because, I told myself, I was too undisciplined. I hurt too many people and was no longer redeemable. This was the set-up I needed to fail yet again!!

And it worked for me for a lifetime.

a woman with arms stretched out

The key concept here is to, â€œListen to The Words You Use Against Yourself.” Nothing will assure your success more than when you tell yourself a thousand times that â€œI Am a Winner and I CAN and WILL do this.” 

Wayne Dwyer, Ph.D., said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

In the story, “Acceptance Was the Answer” on page 420 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous the author shares Dr. Dyer’s philosophy here with, “I MUST keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations…”

When we “accept” a situation and move that specific situation from our head to our heart, we have become convinced we can accomplish our goal because we’ve made it a part of who we are. We are positively convinced, absolutely certain now, we can do this, and we do! Does this happen with one thought, or one try? Typically, not.

We expand the possibility of our success by making our resolutions non-negotiable so we cannot fail.

This one solitary ACT of turning failure into success starts to unfold around us and with repetition, belief in ourselves and continual expanding of these thoughts, we begin to bloom find hope in our hard-fought accomplishment.

What we focus on, becomes us, because it has moved into the ranks of our critical thinking. We have become CERTAIN it is what we want to do and we DO it!!  Continued action, as if at the gym, strengthens this resolve and tenacity.

And we succeed! Failure now is a thing of the past because we’ve changed the way we’ve look at the thing we want to conquer!

Success begins and ends with us, but we must first believe it possible, But before we’re able to do that, we have to WANT it more than anything. In much the same way we want our sobriety.

Develop Ten (10) Intentions (Resolutions) to Achieve in 2023

The first five must be achievable, attainable with a little effort on your part. And we do them!

The next five, however, are the more involved, consequential and life-changing intentions. You must be honest about how much you want to achieve them, so prioritize as you go. Determine how achievable they are but do it!  In other words, if you intend to lose 25 pounds, begin your first book or find a new job writing these words down are not enough. In fact—don’t commit them to paper at all unless and until you’ve determined the importance and consequence of each. Because once we commit them to paper and prioritize them, we begin to allocate precious energy, emotionalism, prayers and forward motion to them whether you know it or not.

What are you willing to do differently?

This is the definition of life-altering propositions, and one of the greatest demonstrations of those who succeed. We already know that if nothing changes, well—nothing changes!

‘Differently’ doesn’t have to be huge, because it is most often found in our thinking. To do things ‘differently’ is to outline a mental plan of success. It may or may not include prayer, waking up earlier, the process might be a combination of large and small changes, but changes they are. It is this hula-hoop of changes we make to do a specific situation differently that moves us from our old ‘failure’ of thinking, to new behavior of a ‘success,’ because preparation, thought and the value we attach to this new intention is the difference between failing and succeeding.

What are you truly made of, and what lengths are you willing to go to, to achieve your resolutions?

This answer requires honest reflections on subjects like procrastination, whether or not you have the sustainability inside necessary to carry it out, and what the payoff will be to go through with this intention?

If we want success, then we must set ourselves UP to experience that success differently than we’ve done in the past.

Oftentimes, in order for this new behavior or action to be achieved, it must be part of your daily thinking. It may involve how you ‘see’ yourself, moving closer to your success just for today, taking small steps as the elephant, but making strong strides with each forward motion. It may require adding a special mantra, verse, prayer to your daily life.

Whatever it involves, if you make it exciting, thorough and a part of your daily thinking, you cannot fail. Because you’ve already ‘expanded’ the energy associated with your resolution so much it is now a part of who you are!

Lastly, whatever your Big Five might be—be sure to seek out your passion associated with each of these and have faith that they wouldn’t be on your list without this passion. USE that passion, that excitement and positivity to work with you as you begin tackling one at a time as prioritized. Of course, you’ll rearrange them as the year moves forward, but we can only DO one at a time! ~  Anything more and we lose focus and forward momentum and become overwhelmed.

Blessings to each of this New Year with the allotment of another 365 days to become increasingly creative with our time, with ourselves, and learn by reaching and collaborating with others how they’ve done it.


If you’d like to see all of the books from Harriet, visit https://amzn.to/3W88R3W. Her new Collector’s Edition of Miracles of Recovery is at the bottom of the page.

LINK TO FULL BLOG: https://harriethunter.org/alcohol-and-drug-addiction-considering-your-new-years-intentions/

Gigi’s a newest book describes how to dissolve the blockages that close our hearts to loving ourselves and others. Learn to open access to the Loving Energy of your True Self. Find the wisdom and courage to face and resolve relationship difficulties, perfectionism, illness, and worry about loved ones (among others).  Due on Amazon, mid-February, 2023.

Gigi Langer has been sober over 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now
worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE $8.95 free US shipping.)

10 Ways to Be Positive, Like Snoopy!

Happiness Worry Less Now

Want to Be Positive, Like Snoopy and Charlie Brown???

Get over your negative habits so you can be a happy, positive force in your family, work, and world.  Here are some simple ways:

  1. Change “I can’t . . .” to → “Up until now I couldn’t . . .”
  2. Change “I always . . .“ to → “In the past I used to . . .”
  3. Don’t read email first thing in the morning. Instead, meditate, read inspiring words, journal, or pray. (One of my favorites is below.)
  4. Avoid criticism and gossip. Instead look for what’s strong, positive & good about a person or situation.
  5. Resist saying or thinking: “You should.” and “He should (or ought)”. Instead admit that you may not know best & even if you did, it’s not your job to change others.
  6. Avoid excessive drinking or drugging that’s harming your relationships, health, or safety. Instead, get into a recovery program or therapy.
  7. Be a considerate listener. When listening to another, don’t think of what you’ll say next & then respond with your own story or advice. Instead, listen with all of your mind & heart. Try to understand what the person is saying by asking for clarification, e.g., “ You mentioned (…). Tell me more about that. What was that like for you?” Listen & then probe for more detail. Talk less. Listen more.
  8. Offer smiles & random acts of kindness to neighbors, acquaintances, and strangers. You’ll feel great and so will they!
  9. Use the Loving-Kindness Practice often. Buddhists call this practice metta; it calms your mind, opens your heart to goodness and love, and helps you know the positive power within your true self. The practice also asks for the healing of your fears, worries, and negative thinking so you can serve others’ growth.

a. Read the words aloud, pause, and then read them again.

May I be at peace. May my heart remain open.

May I awaken to the light of my own true nature.

May I be healed. May I be a source of healing for all beings.”

b. With one or more of your loved ones in mind, say the prayer again changing I to you: “May you be at peace. May your heart . . .”

c. Next, change you to we: â€œMay we be at peace . . .”

d. Now, think of a person who is causing you worry, frustration, or pain. Use the “May you . . .” version of the prayer for this person.

Whenever you want to change a negative thought to a positive one, repeat the phrases of loving-kindness and notice how you begin to respond differently:  Patient, kind, and positive!

10. For more ideas about becoming more positive, see my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, & e-book vendors) and the blog on this site.

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer, PhD has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She’s written several books for educators, and is a sought-after speaker and workshop leader.  Gigi holds a doctorate in Psychology in Education,  and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.

CAN WE GIVE TO OTHERS WHAT WE WANT TO RECEIVE?

give to others worry less now

What do we want? At the most basic level, we all want to be loved. We want to feel safe, accepted and cared for. Many of us spend our entire lives in a headlong search for these basics, only to fail in our quest. Likely, it’s because we’ve had it backwards: We can only receive for ourselves what we give to others.

If we want loving care for ourselves, then why is it so hard to give it to others? One answer: the fearful self (ego) perceives a limited amount of love in the world, and believes if we give it away, we’ll lose it forever. But the opposite is true: in the world of our spiritual selves, love is unlimited; in fact it only grows when we give it away. But so often we don’t.

Resistance to Love

Have you ever found yourself thinking of calling someone, and then withholding it or putting it off? I do. Often! Love’s voice might sound like this: You should call ____; they could use some support. Then ego closes my heart and whispers, You don’t have time, or They don’t really need your call. The excuses proliferate: You might be disturbing them. Why would they want to talk to you anyway?  

What’s up with that? Well, somewhere deep in my shadow, I’m resisting caring for that person, based on something they either did or didn’t do. Or they might remind me of some painful situation, and my fear-filled thoughts get so loud they distract me from taking loving action.

When we give in to such resentments, we unwittingly cut off love for ourselves—the exact thing we’ve been searching for! We just can’t receive what we’re unable to give. (Although, in recovery and spiritual communities, the generous love given to us often melts our resistance.)

Learning to Open Our Hearts

Learning to give and receive love heals the patterns that have sabotaged our past relationships. This journey requires a few commitments: Abstaining from numbing our feelings with romance, food, alcohol, or other mind-altering substances; joining regularly with people who are growing out of self-centered fear and into their open-hearted selves; and finally, doing the work by using many daily tools to replace our negativity with love—for God, ourselves, and everyone else.  

For me, the Twelve Steps, therapy, and my Course in Miracles study groups have totally transformed my life. Although I may sometimes resist my heart’s call to give love, I notice this, ask my higher power to reshape my negative thoughts, and move forward with love and care.

Although it’s a joy to live this way, I must admit, I don’t follow my own advice every minute of every day. For example, I’d rather be writing this than reaching out to my sister. I think I’ll call her now! (I just did, and it was a wonderful conversation!)

When we give open-hearted  love to others, they can offer it to another, who then opens their heart to another, and so on. It’s a beautiful chain of light that begins when we reject our self-centered fear and choose to love instead.

I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:

HOW DO YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO OTHERS?  WHAT HAS HELPED YOU GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE?

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE)


ABOUT LIFE: A CHRISTMAS LETTER FROM LOVE

My friend, Maureen Power added this reading to her 1990 recording of A Course in Miracles workbook lesson titles. I’ve been unable to find its source.

But, reading it has changed my life. I hope you too find inspiration in these words.

With deep Love from Gigi Langer, December 2021

“So dear are you to me. I see you struggle and let go, struggle, and let go again.

“And that is the dance of life. Seek not to end the dance. The earthly dance moves from ballroom to ballroom, from dance floor to dance floor. The cosmic dance moves from era to era. But the dance must continue until all the music has been heard. 

“You learn the dance of prosperity and the dance of scarcity, until you realize that all the dances are the same. You move to the rhythm, sway to the beat. You pause to start again. You feel the heartbeat of the music until your heart and the beat of the music are one. Then that dance is over.

“Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are a child of a loving God who punishes you not. You’ve elected to learn these lessons so that you can be free. You can’t be free until you have faced, and then walked through, your worst fear. What your worst fear is changes from time to time. 

“Walking through your worst fear transforms it into an old meaningless fear. Then a new worst fear will come to take its place. Call the fear poverty, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, death, meaninglessness, or helplessness. Walk through them you will, until they are all gone. 

“What you forget is that you don’t have to walk through them alone. I am here and will walk through them with you. Trust me, my child. Ask not that any specific burden be lifted. Ask instead for my presence to walk through with you. We are simply rendering the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together. 

“The human experience provides all these lessons to all who walk through them. You walk through them with pain and sorrow if you choose to do it alone. Or you walk through them with peace and joy if you take me along. 

“Ask me to guide you. Ask me not to solve what you perceive as your problems. What you perceive as problems are dreams, and dreams are not real. Practice fearlessness, my child. Turn over all your fears to me. My way will lead you to discover the light which is already within you. 

“The thoughts of the mind are undisciplined, but the mind is at home in the heart of God. Call to me dear soul. When you call from the part of your heart that knows we are together still, I will be there, and you will be here in an instant. 

“Peace and joy to you, dear one. Only joy and peace are eternal. All else is illusion. You have been to joy and peace, and you do know the truth. Ask me to remember, and I will. Peace. Peace. Peace.”

Source Unknown. My friend, Maureen Power added this reading to her recording of A Course in Miracles workbook lesson titles. I’ve been unable to find its source. Perhaps you can? If so, please send it to me at [email protected]. Thanks!

In the meantime, please let its loving message bring you peace and joy every time you read it.

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

Worry Less Now Cover

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)