Miscellaneous Archives - Page 7 of 7

January 13, 2018January 24, 2018

Is It Good or Bad to Be A Highly Sensitive Person?

For years, I constantly heard that I was too “thin-skinned” or “high maintenance.” When I looked around at others, they didn’t seem to take things so personally or to be bothered by loud noises and bright lights.

What was wrong with me?

About ten years ago I discovered the answer: I’m a “highly sensitive person” and I’m NOT alone. Indeed, about 20% of the population shares this trait.

Dr. Eileen Aron’s 25 years of research indicates that highly sensitive people:

are quite sensitive to external stimuli,
prefer quiet, less chaotic surroundings,
worry excessively,
are easily overwhelmed,
reflect on things more than others, and
feel things very deeply,

You’ll be happy to hear that these characteristics are quite respected in many societies where the sensitive ones become advisors and sages. But, in our Western culture, being highly sensitive isn’t always understood or valued. That’s why some of us so often feel on the outside looking in.

The healthiest path for us sensitive folks is to value who we are and take good care of ourselves.

So, if you think you might be a highly sensitive person or have a loved one that is, take the quiz on Aron’s website and check out her blog, “Comfort Zone.”

If you can relate, here are a few suggestions for self-care.

Reduce your exposure to loud, dramatic input: news programs, social media, argumentative friends/family, etc.
Schedule downtime to rest, meditate, read, and renew after a busy day or after lots of social activity.
Sleep enough, eat well and limit caffeine intake.
Treat yourself to the enjoyment of beauty: take a walk, savor a sunset, etc.
Hang out with loving people who like you exactly the way you are.
Avoid bright lights and loud background noise (if they bother you).
Remind yourself that your sensitivity makes you creative, empathetic, and loving.

If you too are highly sensitive, please share a few of your insights here. Thanks!

Gigi Langer, Ph.D. is a seasoned author and popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. She’s a person in recovery who hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years. Gigi holds an MA in Psychology and Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University.

Check out my new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection. Pre-orders are now open.

December 14, 2017January 24, 2018

A Gift Given Is a Gift Received

I love these words from a Chinese proverb, “The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.”

My husband, Peter, and I recently enjoyed a meal in a tiny Mexican restaurant next to a UPS store. As we watched people walking in, their arms loaded with gifts, we noticed the unmistakable glow of happiness on their faces as they pondered their loved ones receiving the carefully selected gifts.

Such observations disprove one of the many lies our fearful minds whisper to us: “Don’t give it away; you won’t have enough!” Not true. As many wisdom traditions teach, the more we give, the more we receive; it comes back to us tenfold.

How can this possibly be true when we’re surrounded by a grasping competitive world? The answer is: We’re all connected and the decisions made by one of us affect everyone around us. In any social group—from the spiritually inclined to street gangs—the behavior of the key members drives the behavior of the others.

We spread either love or fear to the people around us. In turn, they affect their own friends and families, and the circle of influence expands.

We learn to give and receive love through relationships because we are both student and teacher to one another. Imagine people holding hands while climbing a hill. The first person leads the person behind him, this person helps the one behind him, and so on. A stronger person helps us grow so we can extend that strength to another.

Try offering someone the rose of care and savor the sweet scent of joy. It may be as simple as a smile or compliment was given to the person at a checkout counter. Perhaps it’s a call made to a friend or relative to show them you care. You might simply stop and chat with a lonely neighbor.

Such generosity brings us closer to our purpose: to expand peace, love, and kindness. Isn’t that what the season is about anyway?

Gigi Langer holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology from Stanford University. She is a seasoned author of education (as Georgea M. Langer) and popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years. Her new book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, will be available in February, 2018. Click here to learn more about it.