Gigi Langer, PhD, wrote the award-winning "50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection" (4.8 stars). She's a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. She can help improve yours too! An author of six books on personal and professional growth, she's the self-proclaimed "Queen of Worry" and speaks from experience.
Itâs so weird how my gut prompts me to take on these big goalsâyup, like narrating my audio book of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now! And then I get frozen with doubts for a while while âwhispered liesâ play on in my head: âItâs too much work!â âIt wonât be good enough!â Indeed, in the FB video I posted last week, I had decided to hire a narrator for the audiobook. Then something amaaaaazing happened. Watch the 5-minute video to see how providence moves, in spite of our fears and doubts. Â
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.
They say the past is over and the future is yet to be. The only thing that remains is the present moment. That’s sure been true for me!
Years ago, I had a chance to learn how stress about the past or future can rob our experience of the present.
Mindfulness
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the developer of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programs, teaches people to fully appreciate the present by taking several minutes to eat one raisin. As they chew, they savor the full sensory experienceâthe texture, taste, and sound. Give it a try sometime.
If you donât have a raisin, wash a few dishes very slowly. Feel the texture of each one. Listen to the sounds they make as they clink together. Smell the moist air lingering around you.
When you mindfully immerse yourself in the present moment, you can feel your mind unhinge from all the distressing thoughts about your past and future.
The Present Moment
In my late 40s, I spent two painful years with both of my shoulders “frozen.” Eventually, I sought help from Pema Chodronâs popular book, When Things Fall Apart, and was struck by her suggestion that one could attain peace by simply being present with each moment, even the distressing ones.
After reflecting on this idea, I realized that during my illness I had been searching through my past actions, worrying about what Iâd done to make my shoulders worse. When I wasnât dwelling on the past, I was trying to figure out what treatment to try in the future.
As I followed Chodronâs suggestion to be fully present with my bodyâs sensations, my stress diminished greatly. Even though my shoulders didnât heal right away, I was able to handle the pain and limitations with more peace and grace. (Need I say I had been a basket case before trying this?)
That experience taught me to make friends with my present circumstances, even when I don’t like them. Today I’m so grateful for my healthy and flexible shoulders–and for learning to appreciate every moment as it comes.
Try It Now
To experience mindfulness, try focusing 100% on what’s happening right now. What do you hear? What are you touching? What noises are you hearing? What tastes fill your mouth? When you’re this attentive to the present, your stress and worries melt away. I’d love to hear how this works for you!
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.
A mystic sees beyond the illusion of separateness into the intricate web of life in which all things are expressions of a single Whole. You can call this web God, the Tao, the Great Spirit, the Infinite Mystery, Mother or Father, but it can be known only as love.
âJoan Z. Borysenko, Pocketful of Miracles
 I just love this quote from Borysenko’s wonderful daily meditation book! The power of love is priceless!
Too many believe romance is the only source of such love. The truth is, it’s available within you at any time. A few months ago, my dear friend, Janet, wrote this about her epiphany while reading 50 Ways to Worry Less Now. It really made my day!
Janet’s Connection with The Power of Love
âI want you to know the ripple effect your book is capable of creating. On p. 40, âFocusing on Loved Ones,â I focused on my innocent, sweet little puppy, Bella, as she lay on my lap, and I felt the goodness/love she often brings within me. Then I read further, and encountered the sentence, “I wondered if my positive power might feel that same sweet love for me.” This threw open a door inside me, so that I realized I never truly saw myself as Good. I have rationalized to myself that I am good, as I try to do/be good. But I suddenly saw that I didn’t truly believe it. In that instant, I realized both the fact that I AM good and that I had always deep-down, failed to see it. Once I did, I was filled with the joy of seeing myself that way.â
Worry Less Now, Page 40, Chapter 3 “Claim Positive Power”
âChoosing goodness over fear definitely pays off. In the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Barbara Fredrickson and her colleagues confirm that immersing yourself in feelings of love and appreciation lowers depressive symptoms and increases life satisfaction. Try the following simple exercise to experience these benefits.
“Tool 10. Focusing on Loved Ones:Â Think about the joy you feel when you focus on a person or pet you love . . . not the manic high of romantic love, but one more solid and enduring.
– Bring to mind someone you hold dear and with whom you are at peace, perhaps your child, grandchild, sister, brother, dear friend, or spouse. If you have a four-legged child as I do, it might be your kitty or puppy. If possible, directly observe or look at a picture of your loved one.
– Breathe in and out slowly, feeling love filling your mind and heart as you ponder the one you cherish.
– Continue breathing and directing your attention to the experience of love.
– Your feeling of peaceful joy and appreciation reflects your positive loving power.
âOne day as I watched my little gray kitten, Murphy, purring on my lap, I felt so much love for her. I wondered if my positive power might feel that same sweet love for me. It was then I realized that I could invite this love to fill the gaping holes I felt inside me.â
Give it A Try & Let Me Know!
Why not give the exercise a try and feel how lovable you really are? Immersing yourself in the power of love and goodness –as often as you can!–guarantees a happier outlook in 2019! Let me know how it goes; I’d love to hear from you.
GET 20% off Award-Winning 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.  5-stars on Amazon. Use â20lessnowâ code here (Seattle Books).  No discount from Amazon. Find e- book links at gigilanger.com.
From me to you!
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.Â
What would 2019 be like if we let go of all complaints and resentments? If we could admit that perhaps weâre not always right, and released the wounds and conflicts of the past? What if, when we thought of a person we didnât like, we refused to gossip, criticize, or hate?
That might make for a pretty happy 2019, right?
Iâm talking about forgiveness: We leave othersâ misdeeds in the past, realize weâve made similar errors, and find compassion for our common imperfections. It does NOT mean âforgiving and forgettingâ or putting up with more mistreatment. When we object to someone’s behavior, we can set boundaries. But we don’t continue to hate them.
A LESSON IN FORGIVENESS
In William P. Youngâs best seller, The Shack, the main character, Mack, is grief stricken and cannot shake his overwhelming sadness and anger after his daughter is abducted and killed.
One day, he receives a mysterious invitation to go alone to a shack in the woods. When he arrives, a heavyset black woman flings open the door, enfolds him in her arms, and says, âWelcome, Mack! Iâm so glad you came!â She asks to be called Papa, the name his lost daughter and wife had used for God. Soon he meets Jesus, a Middle Eastern man wearing a tool belt; and Sarayu, a diaphanous presence of goodness.
Throughout the weekend, these three teach Mack about love and forgiveness. In one scene, Mack goes to a cave to meet Sophia, who is sitting in a large, raised judgeâs chair. She fixes her eyes on Mack and cautions him not to consider his daughterâs death as a tragedy, leaving only pain in its path. Sophia tells him our human perspective is too limited to perceive the perfect order of things; therefore, we need to stop judging and surrender our thinking to a wiser power.
Later, after Mack asks if he must stop hating the man who killed his daughter, Jesus replies, âForgiveness is . . . about letting go of another personâs throat.â
When Mack asks how to do this, Jesus suggests saying, âI forgive youâ a hundred times for a few days. He adds that such acts of forgiveness would open Mack’s heart and bring God great joy. He follows this advice and finds freedom from his overwhelming pain.
YOUR OWN FORGIVENESS WORK
Do you have a situation or person that stirs up negative feelings in you? Perhaps itâs time to begin working toward forgiveness by using growth practices such as prayer, meditation, therapy, or 12-step work. Also, I’ve experienced great healing with Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness.Â
Youâll know youâve forgiven a person or situation when you can no longer generate the âhotâ feelings of anger, self-righteousness, or sadness listed on the left side of the table below. Your renewed perspective is softer and more peaceful, as shown on the right.
Non-Forgiveness (Worry and Fear)
Forgiveness (Peace and Joy)
Resentment or anger
Freedom to give and receive love
Judging others and myself
Seeing the essence of goodness in others and myself
Hating and attacking through words or thoughts
Remaining openhearted and compassionate toward others
Thinking I would be better than that (Pride)
Realizing that we all make mistakes (Humility)
Resisting life through frustration or irritability
Accepting life by being in the present moment
Wishing things were different and attaching to those outcomes
Trusting perfect order through non-attachment
Defensiveness and insecurity
Peace, trust, and courage
As you release the negative, more love flows into your life and out to others–it’s the very best way to live! I wish you a happy and resentment-free new year!
GET 20% off Award-Winning 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.  5-stars on Amazon. Use â20lessnowâ code here.  No discount from Amazon. Find e- book links at gigilanger.com.
From me to you!
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 32 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.Â
Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. Order her award-winning book at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here. 
Peace, Clarity, and Connection.  5-stars on Amazon. Use â20lessnowâ code 
What would 2019 be like if we let go of all complaints and resentments? If we could admit that perhaps weâre not always right, and released the wounds and conflicts of the past? What if, when we thought of a person we didnât like, we refused to gossip, criticize, or hate?