Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

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JOE VAN WIE AND GIGI LANGER: IN OUR OWN WORDS

joe van wie gigi langer worry less now podcast

I met Joe Wie last month when we planned his interview with me on the All Better podcast. I must say I was a bit smitten! Especially after hearing all the complimentary things he said about “Worry Less Now.”

He actually read it very carefully and said he had been rushing home to read it; and now his wife is reading it. Just what any author wants to hear!

Below I’m sharing our podcast audio, plus Joe’s story as told in his blog at Avenues Recovery Center “In Our Own Words.” I think you’ll find both fascinating!

NOT YOUR TYPICAL INTERVIEW: Joe Wie and Gigi Langer on the All Better Podcast, March 2022

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN ON APPLE PODCAST

OR YOU MAY PREFER THIS LINK TO IHEART RADIO

STOPPING TO RUN AND FACING OUR DEMONS by Joe Van Wie

Halloween morning, 2019. I woke up alone, soaked in sweat, and suicidal, in the attic of my 9-bedroom Georgian mansion. It was the tail end of a years-long bender and had taken to a bunch of different stops. Passing out in different rooms of the house after spending a day or more drinking, using drugs, dosing psychedelics, and smoking cigarettes.  

And then my body shut down. By this time, I was living mostly alone. Partiers who would come through to my place to crash or to sell drugs or to smoke and drink at all hours of the night. It worked for them. No one ever told them they needed to go to home.

I didn’t know it then, but my life had long been barreling toward that day. I was too numb, by both ego and substances, to think anything serious could happen to me. By mid-morning I was sitting across from a sober friend, my sponsor, and my attorney, faced with a clear ultimatum: die alone or get help.

Why it took me 41 years to fully surrender, I don’t truly know. My alcoholism had led me into the darkest, loneliest, and most hopeless rooms inside my mind, and I was trapped there, suffering without end, and completely unable to help myself.

Call it luck or chance or miracle or any other word that works for you, but that day, a small crack in my disdain for myself and my disinterest in life appeared. In a rare moment of pure vulnerability, I did it. I admitted to my friends, and more importantly to myself, the thing, the realization of the obvious truth I had spent so much energy running away from. 

I needed help. My final run came to an anti-climactic end. But even as I accepted help that day, I didn’t fully trust that I’d stay sober.  I’d been sober before, for two separate stints that lasted years.  I was 16 years old the first time. Even when I was young, I lost all control when I took booze and drugs. I was sent away to a military reformatory school and spent nearly a year in long-term treatment.

After I was released, I stayed sober for 6 years before I got complacent and went out to try my hand at being a normal drinker. 22, and I was almost immediately controlled by an insatiable want to be drunk or high all the time. It wasn’t more than a few months until I couldn’t function as an adult. I was thrown out of NYU, fired from a 6-figure position at a company I respected, and, for a bit, I committed myself to the tragedy my life was becoming.

It took just two years for me to find AA again. This time I got a sponsor and went all in with a sober community. Looking back on it now, I realize how pivotal my 7-month stay at a recovery house was to my next 13 years of sobriety. That long-term treatment center helped me establish a routine and normal habits. I had a framework to live without booze.

I learned how to do regular things for the first time, like how to take care of myself, how to hang out with people and build relationships without doing drugs, and how to go to meetings and drink coffee around the clock.

Over the next 13 years, and largely thanks to support from my sober community in Scranton, lifelong friends, and my sponsor, I created a life. I built a multi-million-dollar business, won 12 international film awards for three feature films. I became a homeowner for the first time. I was politically active, and I contributed to organizations I believed in. Things seemed to be working and I was impressed with my life for over a decade.

Complacency bit me in the rear again. My life was without intention, my ambitions designed around ego. I felt disillusioned with AA and lost grip of what the alcoholic condition was and always will be for me; a desperate attempt to deal with fear. I ended my 13 years of sobriety and fell into full-blown addiction within a matter of months, despite my every effort to “only” drink, smoke, and use drugs occasionally.

The last years of that run were, without question, the darkest of my life.  My business collapsed, my house was in foreclosure, and my life was in shambles. Worst of all, the drugs and booze, and even brief stints without them, couldn’t keep me from questioning the worth of my life. I couldn’t stop harming the people around me—especially my family and life-long friends—and I couldn’t find a door back to meaningful sobriety.  Even a reprieve that lasted more than a week was beyond me.

Surrendering was a year-long process. It started when I woke up from a 19-day medically induced coma with double-pneumonia and a wrecked immune system. I was terrified and desperate to find a solution, but it would be almost a year before I was openminded enough to consider the most daunting possibility of all.  The possibility that maybe, just maybe, I’d been wrong my entire life.

Sobriety wasn’t going to happen for me the same way it had in the past. My spiritual connection to myself had long disappeared, and I was looking for shortcuts to skip all the important steps. I didn’t stop drinking even after consciously acknowledging that I was hurting myself by consuming alcohol. If anything, my drinking and drug usage got worse. I didn’t know it then, but I was treating depression with psychedelics and cocaine.

I found myself stuck in the place all alcoholics find themselves, that torturous chamber of the mind in which two total paradoxes are allowed to co-exist. I wanted to stop using but I couldn’t. I wanted to take a break from booze, but no matter how strong my willpower, I ended up blacked out on my bathroom floor.

I was kept alive by booze and drugs, but I was also disgusted by those things. I was living in a repeating loop of sameness. When my sponsor and lawyer knocked on my door on Halloween day, I answered the door as a shell of myself. I was cynical, hopeless, and I knew my end was close.

So did they. It was in sitting across from them listening to them repeat my irrational, dangerous, and delusional actions back to me for the thousandth time that something in me broke. I wanted a new purpose, and I was desperate enough to admit that out loud.

My last drink was on Halloween 2019. Now, at 43 years old, I have a life that defies what I thought was possible. I’ve been sober 2 years, re-met the love of my life and got married. My baby girl was born on Halloween 2020, exactly one year since I surrendered.

Yes, Halloween has been kind of important day in my life.  I have a new career that makes helping others the centerpiece of my days. I’m in the process of opening an extended-living sober house for men in the Scranton area, to help other alcoholics rebuild their lives one day at a time. 

Adventure and irony and happiness and, as sappy and trite as it sounds, love has returned to my life. Or maybe it has appeared there for the very first time. I’m aware, awake, and intentional, and I’m as present as I’ve ever been.

As imperfect and as ridiculously as my journey to meaningful sobriety has been, I don’t regret it. I’m awed by how my suffering led me to what I have today—a daily mediation practice, a secular practice of the 12 Steps, a community in Refuge Recovery, and, most meaningful of all, a family, a purpose. 

The whiskey, the cocaine, the marijuana, the LSD, DMT, extasy, the psilocybin, the Ketamine, the Xanax, the cigarettes—all of it. While it very nearly had me dispatched, it moved me closer little by little, to the life I have now.

I am grateful. Joe

Listen to Joe on the Rubber Bands Podcast episode. Fascinating!

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE)

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Putting a Pause on My Weekly Blog

Gigi Langer

As you may know, I’ve been writing a weekly blog for four years now, and I need a break. This is partly because, starting May 17th, I’ll be running a 5-week “Worry Less Now” class on Zoom for a group of 8-9 people. And I’m so pleased to announce it is now filled!

[Thank you so much for your patience with my emails about this course; I really appreciate it!]

To keep my life balanced, I’ve decided to stop writing a weekly blog. Instead, I’ll write a new piece each month and include it in the “Worry Less Now” monthly newsletter. I also plan to offer more 5-week online classes based on my book. I’ll keep you posted!

So, since you’re a blog subscriber, I will take the liberty of sending you the monthly newsletters, and I hope you find them useful.

Thanks for supporting my efforts to find more balance in my life.

Podcasts–More!

I’m so grateful for my entry into Twitter a couple of years ago (when I got temporarily kicked out of Facebook!); it helped me quickly connect with people who share my interest in recovery and A Course in Miracles.

But the biggest surprise is how many wonderful podcasters I’ve met on Twitter; and many of them have invited me to be a guest on their shows. It’s been such a treat to spend an hour or so with these fascinating people!

My latest foray into podcasting was on Merrit Hartblay’s Recovery Road where people from the wellness and self-care communities come together to discuss issues of the day. Merrit did a great job of sharing his own expertise as we talked about overcoming worry and negativity.

Check it out below.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-road/id1550792047#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fapi.spreaker.com%2Fepisode%2F44605816

You’ll Be Hearing from Me Monthly from Now on….

I hope you are enjoying life and finding the tools you need to overcome worry and fear, no matter what is going on in your life!

Worry Less Now Cover

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now which describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

Meet My Buddy, Harriet Hunter

Harriet Hunter and I met online through a FaceBook group for writers. We hit it off immediately and began to exchange e-mails and encourage one another.

You see, we were each about to launch our books. And we couldn’t stand the excitement! I offered to do an advance review of “Miracles of Recovery,” and my glowing words now appear on the back cover!

This book is a wonderful gift for anyone in recovery.

I read it every day.

If you’d like a sample, listen to the recording below as Harriet Hunter reads “The Gift of Faith.”

I know you’ll love her infectious enthusiasm for life.

To get more wonderful blogs and daily recordings, go to HarrietHunter.org and sign up!

One day, Harriet emailed me about a book fair she was attending about three hours from me. We decided to share a table to showcase our books. We had never met face-to-face until that weekend, and we became fast friends immediately!

Get to know Harriet through her wonderful website, HarrietHunter.org She’s a star!

Sisters are the Best!

This blog post is a bit late because I had the most wonderful week with my sisters and a good friend. They flew in last Monday from D.C. and Texas to stay with me. (Peter–wisely–escaped on a short trip out of town!)

It was so much fun to share with them the wonders of southeast Michigan! First we went to Ann Arbor, one of the premier college towns in the country. We had fun visiting the campus and shopping downtown. After a leisurely lunch, we came home and watched the Nationals beat the Brewers. Lots of baseball fans in my family!

On Wednesday we toured the revitalized city of Detroit. The Motown Museum was totally worth the low cost and we had an awesome guide for the one-hour tour. (If you go, you must have reservations). Woodward Avenue is so gorgeous now! My sisters had to check out the Shinola watch store in the beautifully renovated Shinola hotel. We finished the day at the famous Slow’s Barbecue in the Corktown. Yum!

On rainy Thursday, we had brunch at Anna’s House Restaurant and went to see the movie “Judy.” Our mom had been a great fan, so we had to see the bittersweet story of Judy Garland’s last years. Peter came back to town and joined us for dinner at Moro’s, a genteel Italian restaurant near Dearborn. Friday saw my sisters leaving, and I sure do miss them now.

There is nothing like sisters! But what if you don’t have any, or if you’re estranged? Well, there’s a simple solution: adopt them! Those of us in 12-Step programs have it easy with sponsors, sponsees, and recovering friends. But, most groups of like-minded people will bring you rich, caring relationships that can be counted on.

Let me know about the “sisters” you’ve discovered and the fun things you’ve done together. I’d love to hear…

PS: You may know that the Audiobook for Worry Less Now is available from Amazon, Audible, and i-tunes. Use this link to purchase it Adbl.co/2MqkjVL Be sure to get the comprehensive PDF/Workbook that comes with it.

ALSO, if you or someone you know has a blog related to recovery, audiobooks, or wellness, please refer them to my blog tour. They’ll get a free audiobook, the PDF, and a chance to win 2 Skype sessions with me. Registration closes Oct. 15. Click here