Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

WHAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH SPIRITUALITY?

I keep running across people who want to improve their lives, but balk at the idea of any kind of “God” or Higher Power to help them. Although they insist their own will and intellect can solve their problems, they usually end up digging themselves in deeper. So, what’s the deal with spirituality?


Does spirituality really have to come down to a label or a certain kind of “faith?” Why not just admit that we can’t get better without the help of something bigger than our own fears and negative thinking?

In his wonderful book, Spirituality for People Who Hate Spirituality: A Primer, Casey Arrillaga defines spirituality as simply ”a sense of connection to something greater than yourself.” 

He wrote his book especially “for people who hate the idea of spirituality but know that ignoring it or pushing it away hasn’t gotten them where they want to be.”

Spirituality Brings HUGE Benefits

Even if it seems hokey, or woo woo, or stupid to you, it’s worth cultivating a spiritual sense. Check out these research findings reported by Arrillaga.

Spirituality leads to longer lifespans, better recovery from illness and surgery, stronger immune response, decreased stress hormones, and lower blood pressure. It also positively affects peoples’ life satisfaction, and how well they balance positive and negative emotions.  

Spirituality brings people greater hope and resilience, and helps them avoid loneliness and a sense of isolation. Finally, spiritual people are less prone to depression, suicide, addiction, alcoholism, and anxiety.

But, What Do I Call It?

Wondering what to call this sense of connection to something greater than yourself? Here’s how Casey describes what people in Twelve Step programs do. “Some turn to the religious and spiritual touchstones of their culture or upbringing. Others use ideas such as the universe, nature, the ocean, the energy that flows through all things, the wisdom and guidance of past spiritual masters, the life force and connection of everything on Earth, any deity from any religion, loving kindness, your highest self, the ocean, an unnamed spiritual being or entity, all of nature, all of your ancestors, or the small still voice within.”

“Still others turn to the group of people at the meetings as their higher power, saying that they find the wisdom, guidance, support, and love that they need there.” Finally, “there are those who find they are better off not thinking too hard about it and simply say they have a higher power that is on their side, even if they don’t have it clearly defined.”

You can find Casey Arrillaga’s inspiring and informative book, Spirituality for People Who Hate Spirituality, just published this summer, on Amazon, HERE

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Easter.

worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE)

PRESENTING . . . JAMIE BRICKHOUSE!

When I signed up for a podcast interview with Jamie (link here & below ), I had no idea he was such a famous New York City entertainer.

I’ll admit it: I’ve become a bit star-struck! When you read his bio, you’ll see why.

I just finished Jamie’s excellent book, Dangerous When Wet , and I loved it! What a whirlwind life he’s had!

All about Jamie


“Called a natural raconteur by the Washington PostJamie Brickhouse  is a writer, comedic storyteller, TikTok sensation, podcast host, and public speaker. He’s the author of the critically acclaimed Dangerous When Wet: A Memoir of Booze Sex and My Mother (St. Martin’s Press). It’s “Required Reading” in Mary Karr’s The Art of Memoir; an Amazon Editors’ Pick (Biographies & Memoirs), an Amazon “Best Book of May 2015,” and a Book Chase “2015 Nonfiction Top 10.” You might enjoy this video of Jamie talking about his book: https://images.app.goo.gl/3GvgADxwbaeqsmK39

Brickhouse’s daily TikTok #storiesinheels videos in which he tells a true story have over 4 million views, 560k likes, and nearly 50,000 followers. He is the host of the weekly podcast, Sober Podcast, part of Sober Network. His essays and articles have been published in the New York Times, International Herald Tribune, Washington Post, The Daily Beast, Salon, Interview, Out, Huffington Post, among many others

An internationally recognized storyteller, Brickhouse tours two award-winning, critically acclaimed solo shows based on Dangerous When Wet and I Favor My Daddy: A Tale of Two Sissies, his forthcoming memoir. He has recorded voices on Beavis Butthead, interviewed Matthew McConaughey, has appeared on PBS-TV’s Stories from the Stage, and is a 4-time Moth Storytelling champion and a National Storytelling Network Grand Slam champ.

Brickhouse spent over two decades in the publishing industry, and is the founder and CEO of redBrick Agency, a lecture bureau for authors. A native of Beaumont, Texas, he is a graduate of Trinity University (San Antonio) and the Radcliffe Publishing Course (now the Columbia Publishing Course). Brickhouse lives in New York City with his husband Michael.

Here’s Our Interview

Click on this link for the Apple podcast. Also on Spotify, Amazon, etc.

In our 25 minutes together, Jamie asked me these questions:
1) How do I maintain my sobriety?
2) Prayer & meditation: explain how I do it & why we benefit
3) What drove me to get a PhD from Stanford?
4) What’s my greatest achievement?
5) What has been my most difficult struggle in sobriety?
6) Last question was about my book.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sober-podcast/id1585719082?i=1000581225397

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Easter.

worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE)

DO YOU HAVE TOO MUCH STRESS? TAKE THE WORRY QUIZ TO FIND OUT!

According to the Mayo Clinic, people who worry less have better physical health, lower risks of stroke or heart disease, and higher overall survival rates. They also have better emotional health, less depression, more harmonious relationships, and are more equipped to solve life’s problems.

We all want such benefits, right? But we’ve got to stop worrying so much! FIND YOUR PERSONAL WORRY SCORE AND HELPFUL HINTS BY CLICKING THIS LINK

https://mailchi.mp/9f9f6bdee652/02cm3yoqss

GOTTA PROBLEM? Refrain, Reflect, Release, Respond

When we finally stop trying to fix our challenges on our own, the golden moment of surrender arrives. We realize we must find a way to reconnect with the wisdom of our true self. But how do we do that? First, we refrain from acting.

Then we reflect on our part in the difficulty; next we marshal Loving Energy to release us from the negativity blocking our hearts. Finally, from the calm of our true self, we respond in the best way for all involved.

[from my new book, Love More Now: Reflections on Open-Hearted Living, coming soon!]

Refraining from Taking Direct Action
 
Ironically, when faced with a life challenge, our best “action” is to refrain from acting. We do nothing—for now. Let’s admit it; we often try for a quick fix just so our icky feelings will go away. We want to feel better now rather than reflecting on our part in the situation. In most cases, however, acting too soon produces harmful words and actions that we never intended. Why? Because we were driven by fear and not by love.
 
To avoid this trap, we learn to PAUSE: Pause Action Until Serenity Emerges. This serenity comes from reflecting on our part and then choosing to open our hearts, thus releasing us from the grip of our fears. From this place of peace arise all the solutions we will ever need. But what do we DO while we’re pausing?
 
First, it’s helpful to cultivate self-compassion by opening our heart to ourselves. After all, we may feel shame about being in such a difficulty, spawning whispered lies of self-condemnation: Why can’t I handle this better? I should know how to fix this! What’s wrong with me? Or, we might point the finger toward others in a blame-game: It’s their fault! I am right and they’re wrong. They should change. None of this makes us feel any better.
 
On the contrary, we can reassure ourselves that we are merely imperfect human beings doing the best we can. For example, telling ourselves, Yes, this is hard, and we’re upset. That’s okay, this often happens in life, and we’ve gotten through hard times before. Let’s remember, we’ve got our true self and others’ Loving Energy to help us.
 
Remember too the lesson taught by so many wisdom traditions: even though our true self is perfect Love, our human self is on this earth to learn to be as loving as possible. This is a tall order, indeed, for those of us mired in fear. If we’re awake and willing, however, we learn to “render the barriers to love harmless,” as described in the opening quotation.
 
Reflecting on My Part
 
As we pause and refrain from action, we reflect on our part in the situation: What is it about me that makes this so difficult? Three of the twelve steps of AA suggest using specific questions to examine our part in any difficulty. Such questions help us consider how our thoughts, feelings, and patterns might be responsible for our own unhappiness. The list below is derived from the five shortcomings we examined in Chapter 4, and the six coping patterns listed in Chapter 3.  
 
We can think of these areas as “soft-spots” in our human personalities that close our hearts to ourselves and others, thus blocking Loving Energy from healing our difficulties. Yet, it is this very Loving Energy that can release these blockages, freeing us to give and receive love.
 
As you read each question below, take a moment to reflect on it. Then, if it seems relevant to your current problems, make note of it.  Whom or what am I resenting, blaming, or criticizing? What are they “depriving” me of?What have I been afraid of, not trusting the Loving Power of my true self?Where have I been self-centered, thinking only of getting my own needs met?How have I been lying to myself? What have I not wanted to look at?What self-condemning beliefs have I held about myself? Are they really true?How have I been a caretaker by putting another’s needs above my own best interests?Do I sometimes feel like a martyr—a victim of circumstances beyond my control?How have I been a perfectionist, expecting myself and others to never make mistakes?How have I been people-pleasing by pretending to be what others want me to be?How have I been a workaholic, placing work above my relationships and health?How have I been a tap dancer, unwilling to commit to a program of growth and healing? 
After writing down a few of the most glaring items, it will be most helpful to list for each one: a) what you were trying to gain by holding on to it (e.g., material gain, emotional security, prestige, or sexual needs), b) the negative consequences for you and others of holding on to this soft spot, and c) what your life could be like if you didn’t have this soft spot. Now it’s time to enlist our Loving Power and our healthy, growth partners to release us from these shortcomings.
 
Releasing Blocks to Love

First, recall that I’ve said repeatedly that we cannot become more loving by doing it all alone, unaided by the guidance of healthy growth partners. Second, we can’t grow out of our self-defeating habits without the help of Loving power.
 
Reading this last sentence, you might be wondering, Wait a minute. If these flaws have been blocking the flow of love in my life, then how can that same love heal them? It’s important to acknowledge that your Loving Energy has never left you and that it is always available to you. We only believed we lost it and reinforced those beliefs through our self-defeating fears.
 
Happily, to “render the barriers to love harmless,” all we have to do is ask for help. As simple as that! Unfortunately, most of us have to get pretty uncomfortable before we surrender our old ways and open ourselves to another way of living. In this golden moment, Loving Power is right there ready to help us remove these barriers to love.
 
To harness this love, we need only consistently stream Loving power into our hearts. Many of us  do this by using any or all of the following practices on a daily basis: meditation, prayer for self and others, affirmations and visualization, mindfulness/being in the now, kindness/giving love, and gratitude lists. Some of the other practices I use when a persistent pattern needs a direct infusion of healing are:  thought-switching (e.g., the Golden Key), Master Mind group, tapping, EMDR, Radical Forgiveness, and setting boundaries with others.
 
Responding in The Best Way for All

One of my favorite promises in Twelve-Step literature is “We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.” As we clear out the blockages to love, we begin to notice this intuitive sense emerging from our true self, nudging us in the best direction for all.

It’s rather mysterious because this wisdom doesn’t necessarily come from some pre-determined script we’ve created in our minds. It’s more likely that we find ourselves acting differently or thinking differently, and it’s only after the fact we can see the changes. How could it be any different if we’ve been filling our minds with heart-opening loving thoughts and feelings? It’s pretty simple: the more make space for love to enter our hearts, the more our lives begin to thrive in the most amazing ways.

 
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Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry” who writes, speaks, and encourages others to overcome their stress, addictions, and negative thinking. Her PhD is from Stanford University. Get a discounted signed copy of Gigi’s award-winning book, “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” (4.8 stars Amazon) ($8.95) Includes FREE PDF WORKBOOK CLICK <<HERE >>       https://GigiLanger.com/buy
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