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November 30, 2019November 30, 2019

BECOME A LOVE FINDER RATHER THAN A FAULT FINDER

Over 30 years ago, I was listening to a cassette of Gerald Jampolsky’s little book, “Love is Letting Go of Fear” as I drove to work in my VW Bug. It changed me forever.

For years, I had been filled with shame and self-loathing because I couldn’t stop my lying, promiscuity, drug use, and profound belief that I couldn’t possibly be loved by anyone. Already in my third marriage, I was back to my old patterns.

That’s why, when my grad school mentor, Jane, sent me Jampolsky’s little book, I grabbed onto it like a life raft.

It taught me two crucial truths:

1. The essence of my being is love.

2. We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than by judging.

Back and forth to work, I listened to these and other lessons, and slowly began to change.

After years of denial, I quit drugs and alcohol and discovered the power of A Course in Miracles—a spiritual system similar to Jerry’s work. Over time, I even managed to become happily married.

Twenty years later, Jane and I attended Jerry’s “Attitudinal Healing” (AH) weekend course where he emphasized one of my favorite principles of AH:

“We can become Love finders rather than fault finders.”

For example, instead of criticizing politicians, we can choose to love and appreciate our democracy. Or, when you have an ache, instead of focusing on it, send love to all the body parts that work perfectly.

Every minute, we can choose to be loving toward ourselves and others rather than judging them. We can choose to join our hearts rather than finding fault.

As we bear these lessons in mind, let’s all HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON!

With Love, from Gigi Langer. 💗

PS. Get “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” audio or ebook (free); paperback (discounted). Just email me here: [email protected]

November 21, 2019November 21, 2019

BE THE LIGHT, Even When It’s Really Hard to Do!

“Be the Light: Feel the spirituality inside you and shine it on others.”

Recently I gave an open talk (about my alcoholism) for a large group of women, and I’m so grateful that RecoveredCast.com posted it on their site. You can find it by clicking here — Or copy this link: https://recoveredcast.com/uncategorized/gigi-open-talk-recovered-1044/

After listening to the recording, a woman in recovery sent me this wonderful message describing how consciously choosing to be a shining light helps her–and others–through many troubling situations. Here’s what she wrote:

“I love how in your open talk you refer to spirituality as ‘a light. A light inside us. A light for others to see.’ ♥️

“I was so excited to be able to pass a drug test, and get a real job, benefits, good pay. But then the place turned out to be very toxic. Gossip, fighting, and plenty of non-recovering alcoholics. I became sucked in very quickly.

“I was fairly new to recovery and hadn’t learned many tools. I would sit out in my car every morning and pray to go in there and ‘Be the Light.’ To shine bright and help the hurting souls in there. I prayed for God’s will and the strength to not get sucked into the drama.

“Afterward, I would go to meetings and share my ‘pep talk’ about ‘Being the Light.’ How it was helping me at work, reminding me to be the change. To spread compassion and love to those who are still sick. How I had to remind myself over and over. For example, I would be in the middle of the bickering, and I’d whisper under my breath, ‘Be the light. Be the light.’ Then I’d put up my boundaries and walk away.

“Next thing you know, other people in the program were talking about it. How they would find themselves in situations and would pray for the light. The light to rise above. For the light inside themselves to shine bright.

“What a gift to be heard and, in return, to help others. Feeling the spirituality inside us. Shining it on others. Helping others, which then helps ourselves. Such a gift!”

Isn’t that absolutely beautiful? Let’s all try to “be the light” for the people and situations around us. I would LOVE to hear how you have used this idea in your own life. Thanks!

Gigi Langer, PhD. Many years ago, I used alcohol, romance, and professional accomplishments to soothe my frayed nerves. Over time, I discovered effective tools from therapy, recovery programs, scientific research, and a variety of philosophical and spiritual teachings. I share those techniques in my blog and book so you can find peace of mind and wisdom, no matter what is bothering you.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how I and others have defeated the faulty thinking leading to dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, addiction, and worry about loved ones. Gain practical strategies, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (50 reviews) (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

REVIEWS: Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.” Anonymous Reader: “Your Book certainly transformed my life! All I can say is, THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER”

November 15, 2019November 15, 2019

HOW TO SUCCEED IN RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships Require Care. Follow these tips to find harmony and happiness.

Balance. Don’t make the other person the most important thing in your life. Have a variety of interests, friends, & passions.

Support. Talk through your concerns & problems with healthy friends or a counselor before sharing it with your loved one. Don’t make him/her your counselor.

Listen. When your loved one shares, don’t interrupt. When they finish, summarize what you heard. Don’t give your own story or suggestions. Instead, help them explore the issue with clarifying questions (“You mentioned _, tell me more about that.”). Ask permission to offer solutions.

Self-Awareness. Be honest about the motivations behind your words and actions. Where are you being controlling or self-centered?

Kindness. Focus on your loved one’s strengths and demonstrate care through your words and actions.

Forgiveness. Wait at least 2 days before discussing a conflict. During the talk (not through text or email), acknowledge your part in the disagreement and listen to their side of the story.

Don’t use substances as a way of avoiding feelings. If you’re drinking or using a lot, your relationships will often fail. Try no more than 2 normal-sized drinks a day; if you can’t stick with that, get help.

Meditation. If you’re moody or prone to anxiety, try the free app, “Insight Timer”. It guides you thru meditations for any situation or emotion.

** Relationships can be difficult; the healthier you are, the better are your relationships. **

Gigi Langer, PhD. Many years ago, I used alcohol, romance, and professional accomplishments to soothe my frayed nerves. When I quit drinking, I was left with only my fears and worries. Over time, I discovered effective tools from therapy, recovery programs, scientific research, and a variety of philosophical and spiritual teachings.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how I and others have defeated the faulty thinking leading to dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, addiction, and worry about loved ones. Gain practical strategies with directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (50 reviews) (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

REVIEW by Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.”

November 3, 2019November 4, 2019

A SPIRITUAL SOLUTION

Today I gave a talk about “Ours Is A Spiritual Solution” at a luncheon with 480 recovering women from the Detroit area. That felt like a really big deal to me because 480 is a big crowd!

I was so worried it wouldn’t be “good enough,” so I prepared like crazy. I made notes and prayed my ass off that I would be able to say the right things.

But I knew my main job was to show up as spiritually fit as possuible. So, I went to more meetings than usual, prayed constantly, and meditated every day.

All week I asked my friends to pray for me, and last night I sent out a “Hail Mary” to my FaceBook friends, asking for prayers. The responses were so inspiring, and the prayers worked!’

Today was the big day, and when I arrived, I went into the handicapped bathroom stall, checked my notes, and said a prayer. Then, we all ate lunch. As dessert was being served, my sponsor and a friend joined me in that same bathroom stall to pray together. (That handicapped stall was starting to feel like my own private office!!).

When I got up to talk, I was amazed, as God did for me what I could not do for myself: I felt relaxed and enjoyed giving the talk; I even got a few laughs from the group. Afterward, I was so relieved that many people said it was inspiring.

Once again, God pulled the rabbit out of the hat, and showed us all that—no matter how big the challenge—ours IS a spiritual solution. Amen!

Once again, thanks to my friends for your prayers and encouragement!

PS. The committee made a recording and I’ll be sure to share the link tomorrow when they post it on RecoveredCast.com.

Gigi Langer is the author of award-winning 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, 4.8 stars on Amazon. Available in paperback, e-book, or audiobook. Purchase at https://GigiLanger.com/buy

Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

BECOME A LOVE FINDER RATHER THAN A FAULT FINDER

BE THE LIGHT, Even When It’s Really Hard to Do!

HOW TO SUCCEED IN RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships Require Care. Follow these tips to find harmony and happiness.

A SPIRITUAL SOLUTION

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